A/N: Here, rather late, is my contribution to the S/T secret Santa exchange for KidYouHaveNoIdea. I have broken just about all the rules because it is late an it is a two parter - but hopefully you'll enjoy it enough to forgive me ! The prompt was for a take about Sybil,Tom and Sybbie on their way to America, with a request for Sybbie and Donk and Sybil's relationship with Mary and a mention of Thomas. Not sure if it is what you were thinking of, but here it is ! (Or at least part 1 !)
Part 1 - Endings
New Year, 1925
Sybil stood in their bedroom in the agent's house, folding the last of Tom's shirts and placing them carefully in the open suitcase on their bed. The room was almost bare; gone was the clutter of everyday life - the photographs on the mantle piece, the pots and bottles that usually lived on her dressing table and the books piled beside his side of the bed. The wardrobe doors stood open; it too was empty apart from a few stray coat hangers stripped bare and dangling forlornly on the rail. All their possessions had been packed away and tomorrow the removal men would come in for the few bits of furniture they had decided to take with them. The rest would go back to the attics at Downton, from whence a lot of it had come in the first place.
They'd made the decision to move to America earlier in the year. The idea had seemingly come out of nowhere and had rather taken them by surprise at first, as they both thought themselves quite settled into their new jobs and their home in the agent's house. They had moved here shortly after Sybbie's first birthday. The shock of the circumstances of her entrance into the world had taken Sybil much longer to get over than she'd anticipated, taking her several months to regain her strength and several more to trust herself again. With that and a new baby, she'd found herself happy to stay close to her mother.
So Sybbie was nearly walking by the time they decided it was time to move out. Sybil wanted the memory of her first steps to be made in their own home, not in the nursery at Downton. The old ache for independence had reasserted itself, and after a year she was impatient to get their lives back on track. It wasn't exactly out of sight, out of mind, but it was the best they could do with where life had washed them up. So she set about making the empty, draughty agent's house into a home for her husband and daughter.
The next few years passed without them even noticing. Sybbie learned to walk, talk and get into mischief. Two months after first Sybbie's birthday, Sybil persuaded Dr Clarkson to find her a job as a nurse at the cottage hospital. Her father and grandmother were scandalised, but her mother was secretly pleased as it meant Sybbie now spent half the day in the Downton nursery whilst she was at work. Tom worked tirelessly for the estate, earning the respect of his brother and father-in-law as a competent agent and Sybil finally found her days busy being a mother, a wife and a nurse.
But they were still in Downton. They still dined with her family at least once a week and she was often there visiting Mary and George. Cousin Isobel and her mother were frequent visitors to the agent's house and it wasn't unknown for her grandmother to arrive in state for a cup of tea. Whilst she loved her family, living in Downton was never going to give them the anonymity they'd had in Dublin. It was a compromise between freedom and security.
Nearly losing his wife had meant that Tom was more than happy to stay near her family if it meant she was safe and secure. His exile from Ireland suddenly seemed of little importance, but that didn't mean he was comfortable in their new domestic arrangements. So he'd thrown himself into his new position as Downton's agent, finding to his surprise that he enjoyed it and to everyone except Sybil's that he was rather good at it. She was quite familiar with his capacity for hard work and she had an inkling as to what lay at the root of this commitment to his new job. After the fiasco at Drumgoole, he wanted to prove to her family that he was a responsible husband and father - and, she suspected, to prove it to himself.
But slowly she began to notice a change in him. She was reminded of his time as a chauffeur; he was conscientious, hard-working and competent, but he was still her father's man. Her father and Matthew might have valued his opinions in estate matters, but he didn't have the connection to the place that they did. Put simply, his heart wasn't really in it. She couldn't help but think of their first few months of marriage in Dublin when he was working for the paper. He'd been doing something he believed in then, something he felt was important and there had been a fire in him that she ached to see rekindled. He needed something more.
She waited until they'd made love one night before bringing it up. His eyes were closed, drifting towards sleep in that familiar, pleasantly relaxed afterglow. Nestled in his arms, she reached up and delicately traced his lower lip with a finger.
"Tom," she whispered, "are you happy ?"
He smiled, capturing her fingers with his and kissing them.
"I'm always happy after..." He let his grin finish the sentence for him. She poked him in the ribs and his grin widened.
"I meant happy with life."
He opened his eyes at this and rolled over to face her, frowning.
"What do you mean ?"
"I suppose I mean with us living here. With you being the agent. It's not how we intended things to be."
He sighed and rolled back to stare at the ceiling, making her shuffle up to lean on his chest so that she didn't lose contact.
"I suppose it's not what I thought I would be doing. But we didn't have many options after Sybbie was born. It was either that or Liverpool. Staying here seemed the right thing to do."
"It was - at the time."
He looked at her curiously.
"Are you unhappy ?" he asked with concern, as if he were worried he'd somehow missed something.
"No, I'm not...but..."
"But ?"
"This isn't what you wanted. To still be working for my father. Helping a system you don't believe in survive. And its not what I want for you."
"Love - "
"I know we had no choice when Sybbie was born. But things are different now. We're financially more secure. We've both got more experience. So maybe..."
"Maybe what ?"
"Maybe its time to think about striking out on our own again. Whilst we live in Downton, you'll always be the chauffeur-turned- agent and I'll always be Lady Sybil. If we go somewhere else, we can just be ourselves again."
"You'll always be Lady Sybil wherever we go in England." he said.
"Then we don't stay in England."
Frustration made him raise his head off the pillow to look at her directly.
"Sybil - we talked about this. I can't go back to Ireland. It's too soon. It wouldn't be safe for us."
"I wasn't thinking of Ireland." He looked at her quizzically, unable to follow her train of thought.
"You mentioned that your cousin in Boston wanted to expand his business."
"I thought you didn't want me going back to working with cars ?"
"But you wouldn't be. We could offer to buy in. As partners. You wouldn't be just working in a garage. You'd be running a business. And there'll be large hospitals where I can get a job, and good schools for Sybbie..."
She's propped herself up in her excitement, one hand resting on his chest and her eyes shining bright in the dimness of the bedroom. It was difficult not to catch her enthusiasm, and whilst he could think of a thousand reasons why staying as they were was a good idea, he could see what she was seeing - a new way of life for them, a chance for them to really be themselves again. The thought was intoxicating.
"It would be a real chance, Tom."
He smiled at her and reached up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, letting his fingers brush gently over her cheek.
"You know, I do believe you're right."
So Tom had written to his cousin, who was more than happy to have someone with Tom's experience as a partner, and the dream became a plan. Her family were rather stunned when they told them the news, but then, as Sybil pointed out, change made them uncomfortable. There was a lot to be done so they decided to spent one final Christmas at Downton, then travel shortly after the New Year. That was months away. But the months became weeks, and before they knew it they were saying goodbye to all those who had been a part of their lives for the last three years - the tenants, the staff at the hospital, their neighbours in the village. Christmas had come and gone and now all that remained was to spend one last night at the Abbey with their family. Tomorrow they would leave for Liverpool and the ship that was to take them to their new world.
Sybil was sat on the floor of the nursery playing a game of Happy Families with Sybbie and George as Nanny unpacked Sybbie's overnight things. She was going to miss her nephew - he was a sweet, good-natured little boy who reminded her of his father. He was a little in awe of Sybbie, being a year younger, and his sweet nature often let her lead him into mischief. But the two always played well with each other, as she had been in and out of the nursery since he was born. As far as George was concerned, Sybbie had just always been there. Sybil wasn't sure if he really understood that his little cousin was going away. Mary and Nanny had told him, of course, but George had never had anyone disappear from his life before. She had tackled the same problem with Sybbie, but Sybbie understood she was going on an adventure and she'd had more time to get to used to the idea that George and the rest of her family weren't coming with them. Nothing was changing for George, except that after tomorrow, Sybbie wouldn't be joining him in the nursery. It would just be him and Nanny.
"I might have known you'd be in here," Mary's voice interrupted her musings.
"Mama !" George dropped his cards and ran to his mother, who picked him up and swung him on her hip.
"Hello darling, have you been having a nice time with Aunt Sybil and Cousin Sybbie ?"
George nodded and his mother set him down on his feet again, before kneeling and tucking her feet under her next to her sister.
"I've seen all George's cards, Mummy,"
"Well, you and George start another game. Aunty Mary and I will watch."
Sybbie started to gather up the cards and proceeded to deal herself and George another hand. Mary sighed.
"George will miss her."
"Not for long. In a few weeks he would have forgotten all about us .They do, at his age."
"I won't, though."
"Mary - "
"Is it selfish of me to wish you weren't going ?"
Sybil tried to look stern, but found that she couldn't keep it up and softened into a sigh.
"Yes, it is. But I'll forgive you. I'll miss you all as well."
"I still don't understand why you have to leave. What can you find in Boston that you can't find here ? It seems to me that you'd just got comfortable and now you're leaving."
"Maybe that's it. It's too comfortable."
Mary sniffed and looked away.
"I know you find it hard to accept, Mary, but its not really want we want. We can't just get on with our lives here. I'll always be Lady Sybil and even though he's the agent, Tom's still Papa's employee. We're still part of a system that we don't really believe in. Tom needs to be his own man," she said, her eyes begging her sister to understand, "he deserves the chance to really make something of himself. And he will."
"Oh, I have no doubt he will. Matthew's convinced of it. He says he's got a shrewd business head on his shoulders."
She looked down and fiddled with a small stuffed mouse lying on the floor beside her, pulling idly at its tail.
"Matthew will be sorry to lose Tom, but he thinks its the right thing for him. For all of you, actually."
Sybil smiled, grateful that Matthew at least understood what they were doing.
"But then, he's not losing his little sister."
"You're not losing me. We'll be back to visit and you'll be over in the summer. It's only a few months away really. And its not as if I haven't left home before."
"But this seems so much more final."
"Why ?" she asked with a little hesitation. Sybil had always suspected that Mary had not quite believed that her marriage to Tom would work when she had left for Ireland. But she had quite forgiven her sister's initial scepticism, for once she had seen them married, she quickly became their strongest ally.
Mary just shrugged.
"Dublin is only a day away. And it's - it was - British. Boston's so far away, darling. Who will I have to talk to about George's tantrums now ?"
"Nanny ?" suggested Sybil with a smile, "or Edith ?"
Mary rolled her eyes at the suggestion, as if it were the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.
"I'm going to miss you, Sybil."
"I'll miss you too. You and Matthew have been such good friends to us, especially at the beginning, when Papa was..."
"When Papa was what ?" Both girls looked up in surprise to see Robert standing at the door of the nursery. He was looking rather pointedly at his youngest daughter.
"Donk !" Sybbie threw down her cards to get up and run to her grandfather, who swept her up into his arms and shifted her awkwardly onto his hip.
"I was just going to say when Papa wasn't as fond of Tom as he is now," Sybil smiled.
"Hmm ! Never mind Tom, I've always said that you were the politician in this family," teased Mary.
"She's right though," said Robert. "I've grown very fond of Tom and I'll be very sad to see him go. And I'll wager you wouldn't have thought I'd ever say that five years ago."
"I always knew you'd come to love him if you gave him half a chance." Sybil said, giving her father an grateful smile.
"Hmm. And I will certainly miss you, my little darling," he said, giving Sybbie a squeeze and making her giggle. "In fact, I have a special present for you."
"Oh, Papa, you've already been so generous..."
"Nonsense. I want her to have something to remember Downton by."
Putting Sybbie down he pulled a small parcel out of his pocket. "Here you are, darling. Best open it with your Mama. It's delicate and you don't want to break it."
He knelt down and handed the small parcel to Sybil as Sybbie flopped down next to her mother. George's curiosity got the better of him and he too got up and sat down cross legged next to his mother, craning forward for a better view of Sybbie's present.
"Gently, darling," Sybil said as Sybbie pulled the paper away to reveal a small gold box decorated with blue enamel and a little gold key in the side. Sybil gasped. It was one of her father's snuff boxes, one that played a tune like a musical box. Sybbie had loved it ever since she was a tiny baby and she herself had loved it as a child.
"Oh, Papa !"
"Well, I know how much she loves it. So it should go across the sea to America with her, to remind her of the house where she was born."
Tears were welling up in Sybil's eyes as she reminded her daughter of her manners.
"Say thank you to Donk, darling."
Sybbie got up and thanked her grandfather politely, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Mary could see that Sybil was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Robert was so overcome that he had to take out his handkerchief to wipe his eyes.
"Don't cry, Donk !" said Sybbie in alarm, leaning in to pat him on the arm. "Don't cry !"
"Oh, don't mind me, darling. I'm just being silly."
Sybbie trotted back to her mother and picked up the snuff box and carried it carefully back to Robert in outstretched hands.
"Make it go," she demanded.
Robert put away his handkerchief and took the small box from her. She settled down beside him and nestled into his side.
"You see this tiny key here ? You have turn it very gently, not more than three times. You'll have to get Mama to do it for you until you're bigger as its a bit tricky...then we open the top..."
As he did so the tinny sounds of a rather melancholy waltz filled the nursery. Sybbie listened entranced and Sybil smiled as she once again saw her daughter as a babe in arms in her father's dressing room, staring wide eyed with wonder, unable to figure out where the sound was coming from. It was followed by another, deeper hidden memory; that of a strange, mysterious man who was her Papa, not long returned from a distant war, showing her the same box. It would seem that Robert's gift would carry Downton across the sea for both of them.
No one moved as the tinkling music got slower and sadder as the box wound down, like time running out. An air of melancholy had settled on the room with the late afternoon sun. Mary got up and straightened her dress.
"Well, I think I am going to have a rest before tea. Nanny will want to get George cleaned up. I'll see you both later. Go with Nanny, darling," she prompted her son and slid discreetly from the room.
"Thank you, Papa," said Sybil when George and Nanny had left the room. "It's a wonderful present."
Robert sighed and pushed himself to his feet. Sybil followed him.
"I know you and Tom want a different kind of life for her as she grows up, but I don't want her to forget where she came from. You know she'll always have a home here if she needs it. You all will."
She nodded.
"I do. And Tom and I will never forget that."
"Good. She's so like you at her age," he said, looking back down at Sybbie. "it feels as if I am losing you twice over."
This was too much for Sybil and the tears that had been collecting in the corner of her eye finally spilled over and she reached out for his embrace.
"Oh Papa !"
Sybbie looked on with curiosity as her mother and grandfather held each other for a long while, finally breaking away and stepping back from each other.
"We'd best go down," he said, his voice still a little restrained, "otherwise we shall be late for tea and your mother will be cross with me."
Sybil down, avoiding is gaze and gave a small nod.
"We'll be down in a minute," she said and watched as her father slipped out of the nursery and closed the door.
Up Next : Part 2 - Beginnings