Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Death Note. AN: I got the idea to write this listening to Sanctuary and This one(Crying Like A Child) by Utada. A new CD I bought yesterday!

Matt's POV

The rain falls on my windowpane patting against it with the slightest touch the noise reminding me of that day. The one day that I wish, I could forget. The day I lost everything that, I loved. The day I lost him…

I lay in the middle of the bed scooting over in my spot as I always did. Hoping that I would be able to hear Mello's voice. I closed my eyes and lolled my head back pressing the heels of my hands into them erasing the pain that dared to brim over.

Matt,

I

Love

You

The words felt as though they rang through every object in the room around me. Sending chills down my spine. Almost making me wonder if it was Mello who said it or if was just words from my memory. I let out a sigh. How did everything end so bad for me and yet so well for everyone else?

I

Love

You,

Please

Don't

Cry…

"Mello," my words were faint and soft as they had been so many times before. All I wanted was Mello, the feel of his hands against my bare skin, the feel of his lips pressed against mine, the feel of his warm breath against the nape of neck, and most of all the feel of his presence encasing around me as it always had. However, no matter how hard I tried I would never be able to feel him like I did when he was alive. He was gone and there was nothing I could do change that.

I let out another agonizing breath and reluctantly I pulled my hands away from my eyes. Everything I had was gone forever now. I no longer had anything to live for. The world as I knew it was dead to me as were the people residing in it…

I could feel as tears cascaded down my cheeks a breath caught in my throat as whimpers made there way from my mouth filling the soundless void. The pain from the loss of him would never leave me alone it was here to torture me and then one day swallow my soul into an oblivious existence.

Mello's POV

I stood at his side of the bed, watching him do exactly what I had told the moron not to do. Lay in bed all day blubbering, but even though he looked pathetic, I couldn't help the tugging in my chest from being there and making my stomach churn violently.

I watched the redhead as he scooted to his side of the bed cuddling with my pillow pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. Nevertheless, standing here and watching him only made the tugging in my chest worse making me want to puke if it were possible. Clutching my chest with my hand, I dared to take a few steps back. I could hear Matt's whimpers that he fought so hard to keep in the back of his throat. I felt as the hand at my chest tightened. Gripping at it fighting back my own tears as I choked out the words,

"Matt, I love you."

I knew he could not hear me, but still I just had the feeling that maybe if I said it he would know deep within his hearts of hearts that I was thinking of him…even if it would be just a feeling.

I studied my gamer's face a little longer. How I longed to touch him just one more time. How I wished to wipe that tear from the side of his face that had slid down from his eye so secretly.

I fought violently to hold back the pain in my eyes, the stinging that told me I would be crying soon. I shook my head as tears brimmed over and spilled out onto my face. Damned emotions I muttered to myself wiping my arm against my eyes.

I watched as tears continued to stain his face. I choked miserably over my own words.

"I love you, please don't cry." I prayed that my words would reach him even though that deep down I knew it wasn't possible.

"Mello,"

My eyes widened as Matt called my name, his voice still weak, but hope that maybe he could hear me still hung in the back of my mind.

I stood and watched him. Still…

there was nothing in the world that was more painful than seeing my Matt grieve, nothing more agonizing and hurtful than not being able to join him.

Tell me what you think. Should I continue it?