Okay, here we go! I wrote this long ago, it just took me quite long to register in My first little YGO ficcie. Don't be too hard on me… and remember that English isn't my first language. I did my best, but I'd be really surprised if this were flawless… So, if you spot something too bad, please tell me. That way I can learn something out of this.
Both Seto's thoughts and the song are in italics.
Oh yes, the famous Disclaimer. I almost forgot… So, I don't own Yugioh. What a surprise, really… And I don't own the song either.
Note: since fanfiction net doesn't anymore allow songlyrics used in the fics, I had to remove them. If you want to read the fics with lyrics go to mediaminer. My username is the same there.
Swanheart
Seto Kaiba lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. The mansion was quiet, the only sound that could be heard was the wind blowing in the garden's trees. The red numbers of the alarm clock beside his bed glowed in the darkness. 3:18.
For a moment he wished that Mokuba would have a nightmare and come to sleep with him. Then again, even if Mokuba had a nightmare this night he wouldn't be coming to him, since he was staying over at his friend's.
Good that even he has some friends…
The wind was blowing hard that night, it's rough caresses bending the treetops.
He's starting to get quite friendly with Yuugi-tachi also…In daytime, he wouldn't have approved this, but during the nights he could admit that he envied his brother, that he was jealous of the relationships Mokuba could create so easily.
Pathetic. Jealous… because of that bunch of useless fools… What do they know… Take that girl, for example, living in her own pretty world full of friendship and love… And then there's Yuugi… and that white haired boy, what's his name… Ryou. Such innocent little idiots… They have no idea what kind of place this world can be…
Slowly, he felt anger building up inside of himself, although he did not know why he was angry.
Wish I could show them the truth… Make them see the reality, tear down those silly fantasies they hold…
He turned over so that he was lying on his side, and stared at the wall instead of the ceiling. The sky was cloudless, and the moonlight made dancing shadows on the wall, the shadows of the tree branches that swung in the wind outside of his window. The shadows hovered back and forth, moving in the rhythm of the wind's music, and as Seto followed their dance he felt his eyelids start to close. The sound of the wind was fading away, now it resembled the sound of a distant ocean… He could almost see the vast blueness, smell the salty sea air… And hear a voice whispering under the sea's rolling… That jerk… coldhearted… uncaring bastard… I bet he wouldn't even know what love and friendship mean if he hadn't checked them from a dictionary…
Quickly, his eyes snapped open.
Yes, I know… That's what they think… But what do they know? What do they know about me…
He closed his eyes again, dreaming of love.
They don't know what I could be if I got a chance… If I had someone…
He imagined that someone was lying there beside him, just lying, some faceless being, warm and gentle and beautiful… Someone who would hold him through the night, someone who would love him for what he was, who would be able to see what he really was… He could almost feel the warmth of another body, hear the soft breathing…
-
"I love you…"
-
Suddenly he opened his eyes again.
I never learn, do I… That doesn't make it any easier. On the contrary, it makes the reality even harder to bear… I should stop this dreaming, it doesn't lead to anywhere… He was staring at the dancing shadows again, not really seeing them.
Don't give up… You can't just give up, then you'll lose everything… A little voice whispered somewhere in the back of his head, almost drowned by the blowing wind.
Lose everything? What's there to lose? he thought wearily. – The chance…
He rolled over on his other side.
What chance? What chance will there ever be for me?
– Just have faith…
Faith… I've had faith all my life. At least since Mom and Dad died… That someday everything will be better. Always thinking it can't get any worse… And always it can…
Seto turned over so that he was again lying on his back. The sound of the clock striking four could be heard from the downstairs. The wind was growing into a storm, and the dance of the shadows on the wall was getting wilder and wilder, but he did not pay anymore any attention to it as he lay on his bed, staring again at the ceiling.
I don't know about you, but I got kind of depressed now that I read this again…
Anyway, despite my depression, I'd appreciate some reviews.