A/N: I know it's been a while. I've been very sick for the past two months and it's been a struggle to get out of bed, let alone write. I will try to get an update of "Storm Before the Calm" out sometime this month, but I can't promise anything. However, I did manage to pull together a short one shot detailing the sad ending of Mass Effect 3 from Garrus' pov. It's not wonderful or anything, definitely nowhere near my normal standards, but it is the first thing I've managed to write since July.

"The only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere."

The air surrounding him tasted bitter. Dr. Chakwas had assured him that the blood from the burns near his mouth were the cause, but he knew that wasn't it. The very atmosphere was cold, dark. In his gut, he knew, something had happened. He had never been wrong before.

She hadn't returned to the ship. Joker was preparing to jump the relay, to get out of the galaxy completely, but she wasn't on board. He wouldn't leave her on Earth. He wouldn't let her die. He couldn't. She was everything to him. More than anyone had ever been before. The first time he'd met her, little did Garrus Vakarian know that Eliana Shepard would flip his world upside down.

She was strong. She was beautiful. She was full of life.

She had a gentleness that gave her the ability to charm almost anyone. Even Urdnot Wrex, that damned krogan clan leader, had fallen under her spell. Wrex wouldn't give up without a fight so why the hell was he just sitting there, doing nothing?

"We're a team, Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian."

He stumbled down the corridor, each violent shake the ship made sending him into a wall. The burns stung at every touch. Harbinger's beam hadn't been kind to him. Shepard had been there, pulling his ass out of the fire. Again.

The cockpit was only a few more steps and he could see Samantha Traynor standing behind Joker's seat, a sad expression on her face. Dr. Liara T'Soni was at the pilot's right, her hand on his shoulder.

"We have to go, Jeff."

Garrus couldn't see the human's face, but the hesitation in his response was enough for him to know that the pilot wanted to argue. They couldn't leave her.

"Damn it." Joker reached forward and began to tap coordinates into the console in front of him. Unable to accept this, Garrus finally mustered the ability to speak.

"No!"

Those in the cockpit glanced at him suddenly, none knowing that he had been there until that moment. He tried to get to the console, tried to stop the jump, but a hand came down on his shoulder and pulled him back.

The Prothean's voice came next. "Do not do something foolish and get the rest of us killed."

Garrus spun around, pain radiating through his sore and burned body, Javik's hand falling to his side. "How dare you? Shepard is down there. She needs our help! She needs my help! I need to-"

"Get a hold of yourself, Garrus." Liara spoke in nearly a whisper. "Eli wouldn't want to see you like this."

"Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."

For the first time in a very long time, tears fell. He hadn't cried when Palaven fell. He hadn't cried when news was bleak concerning his family's survival. Hell, he hadn't even cried when Shepard died the first time. But now- the thought of living in a world, in a galaxy, without her beside him was almost too much to bear.

Dropping his gaze from Liara's, Garrus could feel his heart break. No more would he see the mesmerizing blue eyes of the woman he loved. He wouldn't be able to touch her sun-kissed skin or feel the softness of her ebony locks. Her charming laugh would no longer reach his ears.

With a heavy heart and no hope for what may come, Garrus Vakarian turned away from his friends and began to walk back to the medical bay where he could finally get treatment for his wounds. This day would darken the rest of his life and he wasn't sure if he could live that way.

"Whatever happens here, know that I love you. I always will."