Author's Note: A nice little fic, just a random idea I came up with one morning.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in Stargate Atlantis. None of the characters, none of the technologies, none of the settings... nothing. Got it? Okay, good, but just remember that anything here that isn't part of the actual Stargate Atlantis series is copyrighted to me, so no stealing. ;)
--
"Is that all?"
"That's it. You can go."
As the rest of his team filed out of the briefing room, John frowned at her response to his question. He rose from his seat, only to lean against the table. Elizabeth watched him curiously.
"Is something wrong, Colonel?"
"Maaaybe." John held the first syllable of the word a little too long, earning himself an odd look from the diplomat.
"John," said Elizabeth wryly, "I'm not in the mood. Either tell me what's on your mind, or go so I can get some work done." When he continued to frown at her, silent, she shrugged and turned as if to exit to her office.
"Wait –"
Elizabeth stopped in her tracks and raised an eyebrow at him. "Well?"
John narrowed his eyes at her. "You're up to something, aren't you?"
Elizabeth blinked at him and turned to lean against the table herself, her eyes wide in a picture of innocence. "Me?"
"Yes, you." When she tilted her head questioningly, he elaborated, "That was quite possibly the shortest briefing I have ever gone through."
"There wasn't a lot of information to impart to you," Elizabeth replied with a shrug. "I didn't think you would appreciate all the minute little details about the planet's climate, which according to Dr. Zelenka is very exciting."
John rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, that's scientists for you."
"Exactly." The corners of Elizabeth's lips twitched. "So what is it that I'm supposed to be 'up to,' as you put it?"
John chuckled. "How would I know?" When she gave him a look, he raised his hands as well as his own eyebrow. "The look has got to go."
"I give the orders around here, Colonel. What is it you want?" Elizabeth's expression remained mildly amused. She didn't seem fazed by his evasions.
"I told you. I can see from those amazing green eyes of yours that you obviously are –"
"Excuse me?"
John frowned at her. "What?"
It was Elizabeth's turn to narrow her eyes at her companion. "If you're going to make witty comments like that, you should be sure to make them accurate."
Now John was totally bewildered. "What are you talking about?"
"My eyes are gray, John." Elizabeth couldn't help a small smirk.
"No way." John slid off the table and came around to the side she was standing on. He stood in front of her for a moment, observing her face closely. "You're joking, right?"
"Don't be ridiculous, you know I can't joke, not like you do."
John studied her eyes for another moment. "They're definitely green."
"No, they're not."
"Yes, they are."
Elizabeth frowned into the colonel's hazel eyes. "No, they're not," she said, putting extra emphasis on 'no' and 'not.'
"I'm telling you, they are."
Elizabeth took a step back and folded her arms. "You're lying."
John raised a brow. "Why would I lie about something as stupid as your eye color?"
"I've lived with these eyes for more than thirty years," said Elizabeth dryly. "I think I'd know their color by now."
"Well, maybe you haven't looked in the mirror for a long time, I don't know." John shrugged, nonchalant as always. "But I'm telling you, they are bright green, can't miss it."
"I still think you're lying."
John smirked, a mischievous look coming into his eyes. "How about a dare, then?"
Caught off guard, Elizabeth blinked at him. "A dare?"
"Yeah, you know, like the ones you did when you were a kid. Like when you had to prove something, or you're playing Truth or Dare at a sleepover…"
"I never did those dares."
John stared at her for a moment, then shrugged again. "Guess it's more of a guy thing. You know what I'm talking about, though, right?"
"Yes," Elizabeth replied, leaning against the table again, "but I'm not sure how it applies to me."
"Easy. I dare you to find someone else who says your eyes are gray." John grinned. "If you do, you win, and you can make me eat my words. If you don't, and I win –"
"Don't you dare," Elizabeth said, laughing and waving a warning finger at him.
"… then you have to admit you're wrong." John smirked at her, knowing what she was thinking. "Think you can handle that dare?"
Elizabeth pursed her lips, thinking it over. "Well…" John raised a brow at her. "I suppose. But you can't tell anyone about it."
"As long as you don't tell anyone it's for a dare."
"Why would I tell them that I was doing something as stupid as a dare?" Elizabeth shook her head at him, smiling slightly. "You're out of your mind, John Sheppard."
"Maybe," John admitted with a grin. He turned as the door slid open, revealing Radek Zelenka, who looked surprised to see the colonel there. "Look, you can start already. Ask him." He moved towards the door.
As John passed him, Radek looked from him to Elizabeth, startled. "Ask me? Ask me what?"
"I'll get to it in a minute. What have you got for me?" Elizabeth followed John around the table to meet the scientist at the other side.
"Oh, I just have these reports about that device Major Lorne's team found, and some more about the climate of that planet…" Radek handed her a stack of papers, which she studied briefly. "What is it Colonel Sheppard wants you to ask me?"
Elizabeth flushed slightly. "Oh, well, we were… I mean…" She cleared her throat. "What color do you think my eyes are?"
Radek stared at her. "Your eyes?" he said, clearly disbelieving.
"Yes, Dr. Zelenka, my eyes." Elizabeth stared back at him, her gaze resigned.
Radek stared for another moment, then frowned, apparently trying to decide. "Well, I suppose they are green…"
"Fuck," Elizabeth muttered, glaring at the door after John. She could see him standing there and listening in. When Radek gave her an odd look, she smiled sweetly at him. "That's all, doctor. You can get back to work now."
Shrugging, Radek turned and exited the briefing room, not before John had vanished from the doorway, obviously not wanting to be caught. Sighing, Elizabeth sat down at the table to study the papers the scientist had given her.
--
Not long after, Elizabeth made her way down to the infirmary, where Carson Beckett was sitting at his desk, reading what appeared to be the results of… well, some medical thing. The diplomat cleared her throat as she came up behind him, and he started and turned.
"Dr. Weir, what can I do for you?"
Elizabeth smiled crookedly. "Actually, I have a favor to ask."
Carson turned his chair around, smiling back at her. "Of course, anything." He paused. "Well, anything plausible anyway."
Elizabeth's smile broadened into a grin at his comment, but it faded quickly as her cheeks turned pink. "Um…"
"Spit it out, lass," said Carson helpfully.
"What color would you say my eyes are?"
Carson sat back in his seat, both eyebrows going up as he studied her. "A favor, you say?"
"It's sort of complicated." Elizabeth gave a slightly embarrassed smile.
"Ah, well then." Carson took a moment to look up at her eyes. "Well, your file says gray, and I can see where you get that, but I have to admit they look more greenish to me."
Elizabeth resisted the urge to spit out another curse, and covered it up quickly with a somewhat forced smile. "Thank you."
"No problem." Carson turned back to his work, whatever it was.
As Elizabeth turned to leave the infirmary, she found herself face to face with Major Lorne, who was nursing a small cut on his arm.
"Major."
"Dr. Weir." Lorne gave her an embarrassed smile not so different from her own. "I was, ah, sparring with Ronon…"
"I see." Elizabeth's lips twitched. As the major passed her, she turned again. "Wait –"
Lorne looked back at her. "Yeah?"
"What color would you say my eyes are?"
She could see Carson looking over at them and smiling as the major considered for a moment, looking as though he thought she might be joking. His eyes flickered over her face. Finally, he answered, "Uh… green, maybe. I dunno though, they're not really all one color."
"Thank you, Major." Elizabeth nodded to him and hurried out of the infirmary before he or Carson could ask what was going on.
--
Lorne had said he was sparring with Ronon in the gym, so that was where she headed next. After all, Ronon spent rather a lot of his time there, so it was a good bet he hadn't left since Lorne was there.
She found him alone, thank goodness, and stopped in the doorway, feeling her nerves tingle. Though he'd been in Atlantis for two years now, she had yet to get used to the unusually large, muscular body and the long, slightly messy dreadlocks. Something about his manner was particularly intimidating, and she knew she wasn't the only one who felt that way about him. Still, she knew he respected her, and he wouldn't stoop so low as to worry about the origin of the question – she hoped.
Of course, it was one thing to intend to speak to him, and another to actually do so. As a result, he turned and noticed her before she'd actually worked up the courage to speak. "Dr. Weir," he greeted her, looking a little bewildered.
"Hey, Ronon," she said with a tentative smile, slipping into the room, though she stayed by the door. "I was wondering if you could answer a… a question."
Ronon eyed her, looking first suspicious, then confused again. "A question?"
"Yes… please don't ask," she said, embarrassment again creeping into her voice and expression.
He studied her for a long moment, probably taking in this new attitude and demeanor. "All right," he said finally.
"What color do you think my eyes are?"
Obviously startled by the apparently mundane question, Ronon stared at her for another long moment. She was getting so uneasy that she was about to excuse herself when at last he replied, "Blue."
She blinked at him. "Blue?"
"Yeah." Ronon frowned at her. "What?"
"Nothing," said Elizabeth quickly, turning to leave the room, though she was surprised and almost a little amused by his answer. She'd have to tell John about that one, for certain.
--
Her next stop was Rodney's lab, where she expected to find the scientist at work on his latest project, whatever that happened to be. What she didn't expect was for him to turn around the moment she came in, study her face for a moment, and announce, "Green."
She stared at him for a moment, and then the stare turned into a glare. "He told you?"
"If you mean Zelenka, then yes, he told me." As Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief, Rodney added, "He heard you talking to Beckett and Lorne, so he figured you'd come around to see me."
"Maybe I should have avoided you," said Elizabeth tartly.
Rodney gave her an indignant look. "Why, what do you want me to say?"
"I can't tell you," Elizabeth replied through clenched teeth.
"I don't see why you're obsessing over your own eye color," Rodney continued, turning back to the device that she recognized as the one Radek's report had been on, "but then again, I've never really understood women. I guess you obsess over a lot of really trivial little things."
Elizabeth decided not to comment on the obvious hypocrisy of that statement. "It's not that important. It's sort of a… personal project. A survey, if you will."
"Oh, I see." Rodney looked over his shoulder at her for a moment. "Out of curiosity, what color do you think they are?"
"Gray," said Elizabeth bluntly.
"Really?" Rodney turned to study her for another moment. "Hm… I can actually see that, a little. What have the results of the survey been? I know Zelenka said green…"
"Mostly green," Elizabeth admitted. "Ronon actually said blue."
Rodney blinked. "Blue? That's interesting. Maybe the green is an Earth thing." He turned back to his project.
"Rodney."
"Hm?"
"I'm from Earth." She grinned at the look on his face.
"Right… I guess you are… err… hm." Rodney mumbled for a moment more before finally saying, "I really should be working on this, so if you'll, um, excuse me…"
"Of course." Elizabeth nodded to him and stepped back out of the lab, smirking slightly to herself, despite the fact that the odds were increasingly looking as though they were against her.
--
There was just one person left to ask, before she would have to descend on the entire city in an effort to prove John wrong, which would be even more embarrassing than what she'd done so far. Elizabeth looked in the mess and even stopped by the other woman's quarters, but when she finally found Teyla, it was out on one of Atlantis's many balconies.
"Hey, Teyla."
The Athosian turned to smile at her. "Elizabeth, hello."
Elizabeth smiled back, if somewhat halfheartedly, and joined Teyla in leaning on the railing of the balcony. "I have a question for you."
Teyla looked at her sideways. "And that question is…?" she prompted.
"What color would you say my eyes are?"
Teyla hesitated, clearly startled by the question, but she recovered more quickly than any of the others the diplomat had spoken to. She turned from the railing and turned Elizabeth as well, grasping her shoulders and staring for a long moment into her eyes.
Finally she released Elizabeth, turning back to the ocean. "Gray."
Elizabeth couldn't help the grin that spread over her face. "Gray? Really?"
"There are many colors in your eyes," Teyla said stoically, "but I believe the most prominent color is gray." She glanced at Elizabeth. "I am sorry if the color is too bland for your tastes…"
"No, actually, that's what I've been waiting to hear all day." Elizabeth almost laughed as Teyla blinked at her, bewildered, but before the Athosian could say anything more, she'd leaned forward, pressed a kiss against Teyla's lips, and disappeared from the balcony, feeling insanely happy.
--
The next morning, Elizabeth was sitting in her office, perusing papers again, when the door slid open to reveal John.
"Well?"
Elizabeth glanced up at him and narrowed her eyes as she spotted Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney hovering behind him. "I thought you weren't going to tell anyone."
"I didn't, I just said they should come. I was gonna tell them now." John grinned.
"Have I told you that you're out of your mind?"
His grin broadened. "Yes, actually."
Elizabeth sighed, standing up with a soft groan. She stretched her arms over her head and shooed the team away from her door. "Briefing room, I don't need you all crowding into my office."
When they'd all settled in, Rodney finally piped up. "Is this about that survey thing?"
John gave Elizabeth a scandalized look. "You said you weren't going to tell anyone!"
"I told him it was a survey," Elizabeth retorted. "A personal project."
"So what was it really?" Rodney asked.
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "A… dare."
"A dare?"
"It was his idea." She jerked a thumb at John.
Ronon looked from Elizabeth to John. "What's a dare?"
John laughed. "Kind of like a contest. She had to go around and talk to everybody to prove something."
"Her eye color," Rodney supplied.
"I'm assuming I win?" John grinned cheekily at Elizabeth.
To his surprise, Elizabeth grinned back, almost slyly. "Actually… no."
Teyla, watching silently up to this point, smiled as if suddenly enlightened. "That is why you were so excited."
John looked at her, aghast. "You said they were gray?"
"I did." Teyla's lips twitched. "If I recall correctly, Elizabeth went so far as to kiss me for my trouble."
Elizabeth blushed. "Regardless of my reaction, I think you'll find that I have won the dare," she said, her lips curving into a mischievous smile that rivaled John's. "Which means, of course, that you'll have to pay the penalty."
John blinked at her. "Penalty?"
"Yes, Colonel, penalty." Elizabeth pulled a stray sheet of paper towards her from where it lay in the middle of the table, pulled out a pen, and scribbled something on it, then pushed it over to John.
He studied it for a moment, obviously bewildered. "'They're definitely green'?" he read.
"I believe you said your own punishment would be to eat your words." Elizabeth smirked. "Those are your words."
John gave her an appalled look. "You want me to eat this?"
"Yes."
He frowned at her. "You're joking, right?"
"I can't joke, remember?"
John had to watch her for a moment before he caught the twitch of her lips that meant she was resisting the urge to smile. He gave her a distinctly Sheppard look and ripped off the top of the paper that had the writing on it, crumpling it up.
"You know," he said, as he made a face at the paper, "I didn't actually think your eyes were green."
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "So you were lying?"
"Well… yes," John admitted. "I'd always assumed they were green, but they actually looked pretty convincingly gray when I looked closer."
Elizabeth paused, then narrowed her eyes at him. "Is that supposed to get you out of eating your words?"
John grinned innocently across the table at her. "Yes."
There was a pause, and then Elizabeth returned the grin. "Fine. But the next time this happens, don't expect to be so lucky."
John laughed, knowing that she hadn't actually intended to make him eat the paper. "I guess I've learned my lesson."
"I think I've learned something, too," Elizabeth replied, straightfaced. "Ronon, apparently, is colorblind. And Rodney thinks I'm an alien."
Rodney spluttered, as Ronon gave her a confused look. "I do not think that!" the scientist protested.
Still laughing, John rose from his seat, and Elizabeth followed suit. The colonel winked at her. "Aliens aren't so bad."
Elizabeth gave him the eyebrow again. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, you know…" John jerked his head at Teyla, who gave him an odd look.
Elizabeth blushed again. "Don't be ridiculous!"
"You know you want it." John grinned. "That's what you were up to! I knew there was something weird about that briefing."
Elizabeth opened and closed her mouth in mock offense. "John Sheppard! How dare you."
He raised an eyebrow at her choice of phrase, then grinned and flapped a hand at her. As she gave him a playfully affronted look, he followed the rest of his team out of the room, laughing as he ran to catch up. Elizabeth watched them go, a smile playing on her face, before turning to gather up the scraps of his words from the table and returning to her office.