A/N: My other story Anger leads to pain, is on an open hiatus. Sorry for that but I just can't seem to continue with it. If there is anyone interested in continuing it, feel free to contact me at tina.1sachsfreenet.de. I'm open for pretty much everything as long as the readers are satisfied in the end and finally get to know what the heck is wrong with Ryan. LOL, I had the ideas all in my mind but they slowly vanished as the story proceeded. I'm sorry to disappoint you guys in not having continued this for such a long time.
Okay, without further ado...on to a different story. Enjoy !
The importance of Family
The day had started out so well but now as he was standing by the window, looking out towards the ocean, he could feel another wave of depression sneaking up on him.
Just like the waves outside on the ocean, they could be small and of very short existence or, if things were bad, they could be lasting longer and hit with an destroyable impact.
He hadn't felt bad so far and therefore thought everything was okay.
Sometimes it really surprised him how fast his moods could swing from happy and feeling like nothing could stop him to being drained of all hope and feeling down to no end.
It had all started a few months ago in the summer that took away the love of his life.
Or so he thought.
Now that he was slowly learning to love again, to let himself feel all the things he swore to himself to never let him feel again, he wasn't so sure anymore.
Of course he had loved her sincerely but what he had now, the love he felt and received,
it was something different.
It felt stronger and…he no longer had to be the knight in shining armour.
She was strong enough for both of them and she also seemed to know that a part of him was still mourning over the girl he'd lost that night after Graduation.
In this relationship he was the one in need of a shoulder to cry on.
And he trusted her enough to let himself break down from time to time.
He wasn't ashamed to cry anymore.
If he had learned one thing about the Cohens and his friends, it was that they were there for each other, to help and support, no matter what.
They helped him to survive his darkest hours.
Talked to him and held him when he cried, to let him know that he wasn't alone in this.
They sat with him at night when he couldn't sleep or after he woke up in a cold sweat, because he could see the flames again and all the other cruel memories they brought along.
To make him understand that he simply meant too much to them to just let him slip away.
When he had finally overcome the worst weeks and started living again, they smiled with him over every thing that he showed the least interest in, no matter how small of a thing it would be. The mere fact that he was able to feel joy again, was more than enough to make all their hearts jump in excitement.
As the weeks turned into months and he started to work at a local diner, they no longer were afraid of losing him.
Sure there still were times when they would be more concerned than usual.
Times when he got really quiet and thoughtfull.
Back then at the hospital, the doctor had told them that perhaps the depression would never fully go away. That there always was a possibility of relapsing.
These phases weren't as bad as they were in the beginning but sometimes he still didn't want to get out of bed. Some days it took all their patience and power of persuation, to get him to come into the kitchen and eat something…or talk to them, which he usually did in the end.
And then, she came into his life.
Smiling like the sun and lightning every room, she would enter.
She already had been there before it all happened but now things between them began to
intensify. It was a non sexual relationship but she was fine with that.
She was good for him.
She made him laugh and for the first time since that summer, he really seemed to be happy.
She loved his good days, accepted the bad days and helped him through his worst days.
Just like his family and friends, she always stood by his side.
He loved her with all his heart, even though he still hadn't found the courage to tell her.
He just hoped that she somehow already knew.
Ryan sighed and turned away from the window, closing the blinds, before walking over into the main house to tell Kirsten that he was heading out for a while.
She asked where he wanted to go and as soon as he had said "Marissa", Kirsten was up and offered him to drive.
To the condition that he would talk to her on their way back.
That was a deal he could live with.
Sometimes having a family that cared, wasn't so bad.
Fin
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