I had a dream last night that left me thinking about this scenario, so I decided to put it down. I hope you all enjoy it, it is sad, so take that as a warning. I don't plan to leave it at this (this chapter is short) so expect more to come! XXXXXXX

Beep. Beep. Beep.

How had everything gone from so perfect to my own personal kind of hell in such a short period of time?

Amanda thought as she sat in the chair next to the hospital bed her wife lay tethered to. She couldn't bring herself to look at her face, so instead focused on the wedding ring on her finger.

Their wedding was absolutely perfect. It could've been a justice of the peace and she wouldn't have felt any different about it, she was just happy to be spending her life with the woman she loved, but Olivia wanted their friends, actually they were family at this point, there at the wedding. Cragen was Olivia's best man, Fin was Amanda's. They didn't have many female friends, not ones close enough to be maid of honors, so it seemed fitting. That was two years ago.

She was lost in thought when the doctors entered the room.

"How are you doing Amanda?"

She smiled sadly up at the man she came to know and be fond of as he laid a hand on her shoulder. Derek Shepard was the best neurosurgeon, and he was a friend. "Have you had time to think about things?" She looked up to the doctors who looked back at her with sympathy filled eyes.

"No, I haven't been able to. I want to wait until I can talk to the rest of our team. I can't. . ." she trailed off, angry at the tears escaping from her eyes. She looked to her wife. Normally so strong and fearless, Bad Ass Benson, she now lay attached to a hospital bed, needing machines to breathe for her.

"You don't have to decide anything right now, take your time. There absolutely no rush." Derek's wife Meredith said, wearing the same sad smile. Olivia had been friends with Derek for years, she knew his first wife but was closer to Meredith. Amanda had become just as close with the couple after she and Olivia had made a trip to Seattle four years ago. They were part of her family now.

"I don't know what to do. We never talked about this."

One week earlier…

"Amanda! Come on! We're already running late!" Olivia yelled from the kitchen of their hotel suite, gathering her purse and keys.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Don't yell at me mom." I called back, giving up on my hair deciding instead to cover it with a beanie as it was unseasonably cold outside for this time of year still.

"Just hurry up before I have to ground you." She laughed. We were headed to an anniversary dinner with our friends from Seattle. When we were deciding what to do for our two year anniversary, we decided to go to the west coast, wanting to get together with our friends on that side of the country. It had been far too long.

"You know Derek and Meredith are late to everything, we don't need to rush." I said, stopping when she saw the look I was getting from the older detective. "Don't look at me like that. We don't have time for you to ogle me Liv, you just threatened to ground me for making us late."

"Ah. But I have the keys." She dangled the set of car keys in front of my face and fixed me with a wicked smile. Before she could yank them away I snatched them from her outstretched hand.

"And now I have them." She hung her head in defeat and sauntered to the door. "We will be back here in just a few hours, you can hold off till then can't you?"

"Only if I absolutely have to." She was adorable when she pouted.

"Come on you big baby, we're going to be late." I grabbed her hand and led her to the elevator. The ride to the ground floor was quiet, but pleasant.

The two women often found themselves in comfortable silence, not needing words. When they got to the car Olivia finally spoke up.

"You sure you want to drive? I don't mind."

"I'll be fine Liv, get in the car so we can go celebrate." I smiled, unlocking the doors and lowering myself into the driver's seat of the rental car. Pulling away from the curb and took Olivia's hand in my own. "Two years. Can you believe it's already been that long?" I beamed.

"I know! It seems like just yesterday I kissed you and watched you cry when I came down the aisle."

"I did not cry Olivia, I had something in my eye. It was windy and we were outdoors. Thank you."

"Whatever you say. You're secretly very emotional, you know. Sometimes I catch you tearing up at sad movies, but I'm sure you had something in your eye those times too." She teased, giving my hand a squeeze and smiling broadly at me.

"Well, I DO have allergies." I turned my head towards my wife, holding her gaze for just a moment before I looked past her. All I could see was two headlights coming at us fast. Olivia was still smiling, she didn't even see it coming.