Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of Bones. Rights belong to, at a minimum, Kathy Reichs, series creator Hart Hanson, and the TNT and Fox networks. I am making no money from this use of their characters.
Author's Note: This takes place right after the Boneless Bride in the River episode (#16 in the second season). Brennan has just seen Sully off on his boat. That ending just seemed ripe for a little more conversation.
Something Wrong
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth draped an arm casually over the shoulders of his partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan, as they walked up the dock where she had just watched Sully sail away. "Bones", as Booth had long ago dubbed her, was uncharacteristically quiet. Booth wasn't comfortable with the silence, so he filled it with meaningless chatter, hardly aware of what he was saying. Finally, once they'd made the turn onto the pier, Bones spoke.
"Is there something wrong with me?" she asked.
"What?" said Booth, automatically wary. No woman he'd ever known had asked a question like that without it being loaded. Granted, Bones wasn't quite like any other woman he'd met, but he was still going to tread this area very carefully. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, a great guy just asked me to go sailing around the world with him, and I couldn't do it. Any other woman would have jumped at the chance. Wouldn't she?" She stopped walking and turned to look at Booth earnestly. She seemed so vulnerable, a side she rarely showed, and he didn't know what to say.
"You're not exactly any other woman," he hedged.
"Booth," she said warningly, and he raised his hands in a placating gesture.
"Okay, okay," he gave in, thinking furiously. "I can't speak for every woman in the world, but yeah, most would probably have said yes."
"So what's wrong with me?" she persisted. "Why couldn't I do it?"
There it was again, the pleading look, at once begging him to tell her the truth but also to reassure her that she was not a freak.
Complicating matters was the fact that Booth was really very happy that Bones had not left him. That is, D.C. Her job. Their partnership. He was ridiculously happy, in fact, and this conversation was bringing him dangerously close to analyzing the reasons he hadn't wanted her to go. He'd actually encouraged her to leave, but deep down, he'd hoped she wouldn't. There was also the question of why he'd kept interrupting Bones when he knew she and Sully were together. It was not a good idea to delve into those uncharted regions.
"Look, I'm not a psychologist, but Sully is a guy who could never really focus on any one thing," Booth mused. "I mean, you heard him – he's got all kinds of certifications, he's worked in a bunch of jobs."
"I know that. What does that have to do with me?"
"Well, you're not like that. You've found something you love and you're good at, and you throw yourself into it. You couldn't just leave that behind to drift on the ocean."
"I need a purpose," Bones slowly remarked.
"Yes, exactly," Booth nodded, relieved. "You and I, we catch murderers. That's – I don't know, our calling or something."
"Calling?" she was arching one eyebrow in the way that told him they were going to get into another religious argument if they continued on this path. Booth wasn't in the mood.
"Duty, responsibility, talent, whatever you want to call it," he shrugged.
"So what you're saying is, Sully wanted me to be somebody that I'm not."
"Yeah, I guess."
"You'd never try to change me, would you, Booth?" she asked after a pause, as though she needed to know there was one person in her life who'd accept her as she was. A lot of things passed through Booth's mind at this point.
I wish you believed in God, he thought. Or love, or marriage. Anything bigger than yourself, anything you can't examine under a microscope. I'd even take psychology.
Then again, Booth had met her father and brother and knew that they believed in many of these things. That meant it was all within Bones somewhere, didn't it? She just needed the right circumstances to bring it out.
"Well?" Bones prodded impatiently, letting Booth know he'd hesitated too long.
"Give me a minute, Bones; not everybody thinks things through in a nanosecond like you do," he held her off to finish his thought. Her cold, analytical way of looking at things was a sort of wall she'd put up to keep herself from feeling real pain. Like the pain of losing her parents. Booth smiled at her, now certain of his answer. "No, Bones. I wouldn't change a thing."
"Thank you, Booth," she said, and he could tell she really meant it. They resumed walking, ready to take on their next assignment. Together.
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Author's Note: I know, the psychologist came up with pretty much the same assessment in the next episode, but it wouldn't be the only time Brennan wouldn't take Booth's word on something.
