I stared at the red numbers on the wall as the seconds counted down to seven o'clock, the end of my shift. It had been a really long day, and all I wanted to do is go home, eat something that isn't slathered in grease and cheese, and soak in a bubble bath until Tuesday. Unfortunately, Issac or Ice, as he likes to be called, was late again, which meant I'll be picking up at least part of his shift, for the third time in two weeks.

I was really starting to get tired of this job. I only took it to ease some of the financial pressure from college, but lately it had been more stress than all my history classes combined. I glanced at the want ads in the day-old paper I brought in to read between calls. Sperm donor? Wrong gender. Housekeeper? You only need to glance at my apartment to see that's not a good fit. Exotic dancer? Maybe, if I lost about forty pounds and my remaining self-respect. I sat the paper down and groaned. I apparently was holding down the only job in the Bay Area that I was qualified for, and it completely sucked.

"Maria!" I looked up as I hear my boss, Bob, grunt at me. "I gotta delivery for you- Chinatown."

I glanced at the clock again: six forty five. I decided to press my luck. "Can't Ice do it at the start of his shift?"

I always thought Bob had issues- he struck me as a genuinely nice guy when I interviewed, but after working for him for a few months I found out that he's not a good boss. He's too nice to fire Ice, despite the fact that he's habitually late. He's too nice to raise prices, which means he's always short of money to hire new employees. And because I'm also too nice and cursed with dependability, that meant most of the driving got shunted my way, and he didn't need to fire Ice or hire anyone else. Infinite loop powers, activate!

"Oh, sure! If he's here for the start of his shift! But you're here now, and you can do it for his tips!" He had a point, and I needed the money. Still do, come to think of it. I stood up and shot him a smile as he handed me the box.

On my way out, I glanced around the parking lot, woefully innocent of Ice's Mercury that he refers to as his "chick magnet." However, any sane "chick" such as myself would refer to it as a "death trap." I guess that's what you get when you're a teenager with a bad attitude and a big ego. I rolled my eyes at the thought of it, and headed for Lisa, my little '95 Cavalier. It's seen better days, and I've just had to drop a metric ton of money into it for a head gasket, but it's easy on gas, gets me where I need to go, and is in good enough shape that I can't justify spending that much on another car.

The address was in Chinatown, but not a shady part. I had been through there several times already, the first when I just moved to the city, and found a neat little antiques shop that I promised myself I'd visit when I have enough money to buy something. I navigated to the street easily, swung Lisa into the first parking spot that I could find, and glanced at the address on the box as I got out of the car. As it turned out, the parking gods were with me that day, because I had hit the brake right in front of it.

It was a storefront in a rather old building, though that wasn't necessarily special in this part of town, but it was very familiar and inviting. I glanced at the sign- Uncle's Rare Finds! That was the shop I wanted to visit! Pleased that I wouldn't have to wait until I'm not flat broke to see the inside, I bounded up the steps.

Urgh. Bad luck. The sign was turned to closed, but someone ordered a pizza; I knocked on the door and shouted, "N1NJ4 Pizza! Delivery!"

I didn't name the shop. Bob did. Don't ask me why he called it that.

I heard some noise coming from the other side of the door and put on my best Pizza Ninja smile. The door swung open, and on the other side stood this cute old Chinese guy that I assumed was "Uncle." He was dressed in a white shirt and this sort of yellow-colored vest that was probably older than I was from the looks of it, and blue jeans. His hair put Einstein's to shame. He glared at me over his pince-nez glasses. "Shop is closed," he said matter of factly as he began to close the door.

"Er- someone ordered a pizza," I said, holding up the receipt. "Large, half pepperoni, mushrooms and pineapple, half," I glanced back at it to check, "garlic?"

From the way he acted, you would have thought I had just offered him a live marmot with fleas. "No! Uncle did not order pizza! Uncle does not want pizza, and Uncle does not want ninjas!"

"But I'm not a-"

"Shop is closed!" he shouted as he slammed the door. The bell made a pleasant ding as I stepped back to avoid having my nose smashed in.

"Oookayyy..." I said to no one in particular. As I stood there getting my bearings after being told off by a very cheesed off Chinese man, I heard another commotion from behind the door. This time when it opened, the person behind it was much shorter.

"Heh, sorry about that," the Chinese girl apologized as she grinned widely up at me. "Uncle gets cranky when he hasn't eaten. Come on in."

I set one foot inside the door when I heard from my right an anguished, "Ai-yaaaa!" I fumbled with the pizza as I turned to face the nearest threat- Uncle, again. For some reason, he was pointing a dried blowfish at me and rapidly chanting, "Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fie Di Jow" over and over again. His hand was shaking violently.

I glanced at the girl in front of me, who had an equally anguished expression on her face, and then back at the old man. I finally cleared my throat and attempted to say something intelligent, but I only got as far as, "Um, Sir?"

He stopped and straightened his glasses, much in the same way as a cat smoothes out its fur after missing a jump onto the kitchen counter and landing smack on the floor in a last-ditch effort to remain dignified. "You are not a demon," he said, seemingly satisfied.

I would have thought this was pretty obvious, seeing as I exist, and demons, well, don't. But apparently it wasn't. "But you could have been! Jade, why did you let her into my shop?"

"Because she was carrying pizza?" she said, as if this too were pretty obvious. The kid reached into the pocket of her orange hoodie and pulled out a $20, which she handed to me in exchange for the pizza. I reached into my pocket to get change, but she waved me off.

"Thanks!" I said. Four dollars on sixteen wasn't all that much to write home about, but coming from a kid that age showed real class.

"Uncle does not need pizza!" the old man continued to protest.

"Tch. Jackie and Tohru are both out on a mi- on a business trip, and I can barely boil water. What are we going to eat, mung bean sandwiches?"

"Mung beans are good for you!" He shot me a look that indicated that any disagreement on my part would meet with swift and severe punishment.

"Oh yes," I said, thinking of the canned bean sprouts I usually dumped into my stir fry at home. "Very good for you." The poor girl, who apparently didn't like mung beans, looked like she was going to gag, so I turned away fairly quickly. Before I could leave, though, something on the shelf next to the door caught my eye. "Hey, what's this?" I asked of no one in particular as I went to examine it.

The old man, sensing blood in the water from a wounded sale, circled in for the kill. He pointed at the stone tablet on the shelf. "That is-"

"-a prime example of Linear B, hailing from ancient Crete!" I said as I leaned in closer. "I can't decipher it all, but I know that this is some sort of number, and that's ram... and I'm pretty sure that must be ewe... this was some sort of ancient tax form, I bet!" I turned at him with a grin a mile wide on my face. "Where did you get this?"

It's probably no secret to you by now that I'm not like other people. Other people wouldn't have noticed the brown tablet on the brown shelf. If they did, they would have ignored it and run like hell away from the crazy that appeared to permeate the shop. However, I thrive on a certain kind of crazy- I am a very big geek, especially about archeology.

Uncle must have sensed this; he peered at me over his glasses. "You know your ancient language," he said, almost accusingly.

I shrugged. "I'm an archeology major at UC." I pointed over my shoulder in the general direction of Berkley. "You hiring?" I asked, only half joking.

"Uncle cannot afford another assistant!" I flinched and tried not to jump backward at the outburst. The old man then gave me a thin expression that might have been a smile. "My nephew is an archeologist with the museum. You would get along, and I believe that they are hiring."

I jumped at the chance to get away from the food service industry. "Can I give you my phone number to pass along?"

"See?" the girl said, almost jumping up and down as she was pointing at me. "She can't be a demon! Look at her! She's adorable!"

I had just been called adorable by a nine year old. My night was complete.

A minute later after I had written down my phone number and given it to the shopkeeper, I was back to Lisa. I had just begun taking the lighted N1NJ4 Pizza sign off the roof, when the cell phone in my jacket pocket started to ring. I winced. I knew who it was before I answered. "Hello?"

"Maria! How ya' doin?"

"Good, Bob." I knew where this was going and put the sign back up. "What's up?"

"Listen, Ice isn't in yet, and I've got another order to fill. Can you come back in? I promise you're still on the clock."

I rub my eyes. "Yeah, sure. I'll be right there."

"Thanks a lot, Maria! It's a big one, so there will be a nice big tip!"

"Yeahsure. See you in a minute." I hung up the phone and wearily plopped in Lisa's driver's seat, fastening my seatbelt. The green LED on the radio read 7:01- my shift was over, and I didn't really have to go back, but what was one more delivery? Besides, Bob sounded like he was really stuck. I turned the key in the ignition and shifted out of park, heading back to the shop.

Still, on the way I found myself moaning, "I don't get paid enough for this."