A/n thank you to Red Bess Rackham for editing this fic, you are awesome and I never could have done it without you

DISCLAIMER: This was written strictly for humorous purposes; I am not implying by writing this that Trump and Clinton are having an affair, it is not even a conspiracy. I do not know that Clinton uses botox, it was just a humorous thing I added. I am not aware of any private email scandals concerning the two of them contacting each other. I am not aware of Trump saying random things about the wall if he has missed a question. I do not think Trump got the wall idea from The Walking Dead, that was once again in there because of humorous reasons. I don't think he has a "swaggy limp" (cringe) either, once again, it was only for the funnies. In this story, Trump and Clinton are not married because reasons. And lastly, everything I have said in this was basically played off of the stereotypes, which may or may not be real.

Donald Trump/Hillary Clinton

Clinton tried to frown when she saw Trump's face pop up on TV. She had always blamed her stiff and unmoving face on botox, but she just couldn't ignore the flutter in her chest as she glanced at the glistening orange skin and pouty face of her number one competitor. She knew she couldn't fight her feelings, but she could certainly hide them either. Though she would definitely hide the private emails that her and Trump had been sending to each other for months.

Ever since Donald had supported her in the 2008 elections, she had always felt something for him. She had a feeling that this 'something' was love; a forbidden love, but love nonetheless.

A dangerous forbidden love.

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Trump was off his game. He knew Hillary was out there somewhere, watching this very debate and he couldn't function. He was so distracted, he actually missed a question, and could only recover by saying that he would build the wall 5 feet higher. You know what they say, repetition and lies are the way to America's heart. (To be honest, he hadn't even had the idea of "building a wall" until he saw Alexandria, a city protected by walls, from The Walking Dead.)

But he was almost done. The debate was almost over, and it couldn't come sooner. He had spent the whole night evading questions about Hillary - unfortunately this meant that he'd had to call her a "loser" several times. But according to recent polls, America loved name calling and didn't even realize it was a form of evasion. America was under his spell, and he was under Hillary's.

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Hillary swooned when she saw Donald's face contort into an orange blob that resembled spicy tuna fish paste as he screamed about Mexicans and Muslims. She grinned. Hillary just loved how passionate he got when his racism shone so bright. His magnificently thin hair flopped around like a cheap toupee and she wondered what people didn't see in him.

Later, Hillary sat down in the corner booth of a sketchy bar and ordered two beers. She made sure the floppy hat she was wearing covered her face. She was supposed to meet Don here, but no one could know it was them. He finally waltzed in, his hips swaying with that swaggy limp that made her go red in the cheeks. Unfortunately, he too had to wear his old 'Make America Great again' cap to cover his glorious trademark macaroni-colored skin and fuzzy caterpillar hair.

"Spray Tan. You're late," Hillary complained, making sure to use the codenames they used for when they went out in public.

Trump looked at his shoes and fidgeted a bit. "I'm sorry, Sketchy Secretary, but I was very busy buying you this." He opened his hand to reveal a diamond ring.

"Oh, Donald! Is that an engagement ring?" she asked, shunning the code name as tears almost came to her eyes. (They would have too, if not for the surgery that had removed her tear ducts. It was expensive, but whatever it takes to stay young.)

He nodded. Not many people could tell when he was smiling because his face never changed from his infamous duckface expression. But Hillary could - she could always tell what was on his mind, especially when he saw Mexicans.

"Of course I will marry you, Donald!"

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Trump wanted a huge wedding, but they ended up holding a secret ceremony - secret like everything Hillary did.

Try as they might, one tabloid somehow managed to ruin everything. Their big secret was ruined, revealed, and reviled. They both were forced to drop out of the race. America, in all its years, never celebrated more than it did that historic day.

(However, the whole tabloid incident could have easily been avoided if they had taken Trump's idea on "building a wall" around the church.)

A/n: Yeah yeah, I am gonna be punished for this.