Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man.
As the future Bookman, it was essential for Lavi to know everything he possibly could about his fellow exorcists.
"So, Lenalee...what's the kind of guy you're most interested in?"
Lenalee glanced up from her lunch at the same time that Allen had punched the red-headed boy in the back of the head for his insolence.
"Lenalee, there's no need for you to answer such a question...! Please, just ignore this pervert!!" Allen told her as he continued to glare daggers at Lavi, who just chuckled sheepishly. Placing her chopsticks delicately upon her napkin, Lenalee flashed a soft smile. A faint blush crept up on both Allen's and Lavi's cheeks; she was just too cute when she smiled.
"No, no, it's alright, Allen," Lenalee reassured him, "I...I don't have any problem answering Lavi's question. Really...!"
"...Huh? Really?"
"Yes! I'd be more than happy to answer him!"
Sighing heavily, Allen scooted back into his own seat; he wanted to preserve Lenalee's innocence, at least for the sake of Komui's sanity. Lavi, more interested in women than his own job, quickly pulled out a notebook from his back-pocket, and got into position to begin writing down everything Lenalee was about to tell him. Several exorcists sitting nearby were straining their ears to listen in, as well.
"Well," Lenalee began, looking a bit bashful, "Umm...my ideal guy...well, brunette is a favorite hair color of mine, but really any hair color would do...I like a man who has a timid side to him, but it has to be the cute kind of timidness, like how Krory and Miranda are sometimes. I want a man who will care for me, and love me for who I am, and not solely on how I look. A man...who will always be there to protect me. A man who could cook me dinner once or twice every week, and who could take me out to romantic PG-13 movies on the weekends, and always have a warm, fresh smile on his face. He also has to have a habit of wearing clean white clothes, too. That's the kind of man I'm interested in!!"
"...That's it?" Lavi asked, unimpressed.
Lenalee nodded, her face as red as a tomato. "Y-Yes...basically..."
Lavi had never looked so disappointed in his entire life. "Lenalee...Lenalee, baby...I apologize if this offends you, but...that was probably some of the most unoriginal bullshit I've ever heard in my entire life!"
"WHA...WHA...WHAT?!!"
"Look, what you just said, Lenalee, is basically every 'normal' girl's description of their ideal man...it's way too perfect, and way too impossible for anyone in reality to actually be like that! Thinking that way will only get your heart broken in the end! You need to start imagining that your ideal man has some goddamn FLAWS to him, for Innocence's sake!! THIS IS NOT A MANGA, WHERE EVERYONE IS PRIM AND PROPER!!! THIS IS REAL LIFE, SO SUCK IT UP AND LOOK FOR AN UNPERFECT MAN!!!" Lavi bellowed.
Both Lenalee and Allen were quite caught off-guard by Lavi's petulant outburst. '...He must have had the same kind of ideals for the perfect woman, too...'
The three of them never spoke of this again.