Okay, so here's the current setup for updates:

Othertale-Updates every other week (Sorry for no update this week, I've been pretty busy with things. Will resume normal updates next week.)

FFIII Novelization-I really suck at keeping dates, but it's taking me a lot longer than expected to revise some of the other chapters; effectively, I'm rewriting this story. So, it'll just be a little longer, I swear! Probably going to update on Fridays.

Rogue's Gallery-Well, now, welcome to my newest story. Will update irregularly at first while I try to find a way to fit everything in. WARNING: Is probably going to start off pretty slow/confusing. Part 3 is where things start making at least some semblance of sense.

Takes place a few months after the events of the last game. I do not own Sly Cooper or any of the terms affiliated with it.

-1st Heist (Pt. 1)-

"You're lost again, aren't you?" the gruff voice groaned halfheartedly in the thief's earpiece, getting a weak chuckle in reply.

"I'm not lost…I'm just…misplaced…" Kuiper muttered, crouching lower into the shadows. RetroCytus's HQ creeped him out even in the light of day, what with all of the security guards and the top-of-the-line security. In the dead of night, with infrared alarms and heat sensors lighting up the corridors, Kuiper was even more disquieted. But, a job was a job, and this just so happened to be a very, very well-paying job. Even though Simon had tried talking him out of it, Kuiper needed the cash badly, and something as simple as a data breach couldn't possibly be that difficult, right?

Wrong.

Having come across the exact same guard three times now, Kuiper was forced to admit to himself that he had no idea where he was. He would not, however, admit it to his right hand man. Not that he needed to, of course. If the tracker in his earpiece was accurate, Simon knew even more about where Kuiper was than the adolescent himself did. The young adult typed rapidly into his keyboard back at 'Home Base,' searching for any place for Kuiper to break through the seemingly impermeable fortress.

Meanwhile, Kuiper himself was forced to run in circles, trying to avoid guards, traps, and anything else that seemed intent on killing him. Which, at the moment, seemed to be everything.

"Misplaced is the same thing as lost, you little twerp," Simon grunted, still searching the blueprints he had been given by the client. That's just the way things worked at their 'agency.' Simon did the hacking, Kuiper did the dirty work, and Renée was stuck with the cleanup. Though it seemed like a rather unbalanced system, it had saved the three humans on several occasions. Simon had the wit, Renée had the charm, and Kuiper?

Kuiper had the skills.

But now, however, all of his skills seemed to have left him as he walked past the unconscious guard for the fourth time.

"For a self-proclaimed 'God-Level Hacker,'" the teen teased, "You're not helping me all that much at the moment. I'm only lost because your directions suck. After all, it's rather difficult to follow instructions such as," Kuiper squinted at the notecard in his gloved hand, "'Turn right at the green blinky thing,' or how about 'When you see a laser, you've gone too far.' I hate to tell you, Simon, but there's lasers all over the place."

"I thought the green blinky thing would tell you exactly where you were," Simon chuckled.

"Colorblind, remember?"

"Stop talking, you twerp, do you want to get yourself caught?" Simon grunted. "Here, how's this for you? You're directly twenty floors below the mainframe. Luckily, the main computer's in a room with a window. Why they did that, I'll never know…"

"I'm doubting very highly they were expecting someone to break through the forty-seventh floor window," Kuiper smiled, hand instinctively clutching the small metallic cylinder at his waist. "What they don't expect, though, is going to be their downfall."

"Don't get too confident," Simon said, searching his screen. "Or else, this could be your downfall. I would suggest scaling to the forty-fifth floor, and continuing from there on foot. The security is going to get tougher the higher up you go, so you've got to watch your back before you do anything hasty."

"Don't worry about me," Kuiper said, pulling the cylinder off its hook and tossing it absently between his hands. "After all, this does run in my blood."

"So does the tradition of dying during major heists," Simon said, and Kuiper winced. "Sorry, that was uncalled for. Service will get pretty choppy once you go outside, so you'll be on your own for the scaling. I'll see you on the other side." With that, the voice faded to static. Kuiper allowed himself only a second of hesitation before charging the nearest window and forcefully threw himself against it, feeling the familiar sensation of his heart dropping to his feet at the glass shattered and Kuiper found himself in a freefall. His breath left him as his body hit the cold air, and for a moment, Kuiper felt the rush as he felt weightless. This was by far his favorite part of a heist; the moment where everything was at risk.

But there was a mission to complete, and even a fall from only this high up could cause some serious health issues, so Kuiper reluctantly pressed a faintly glowing green button on the cylinder and gave the inner mechanisms a moment to warm up before pointing it to the nearest section of the spiral that the RetroCytus headquarters was known for. Around the entire skyscraper, a chrome double spiral wound around the building. Many modern artists and architects called it a 'daring, futuristic move.' Kuiper, however, was reminded instead of two snakes encircling their prey. Either way, though, it provided a perfect entry point for a burglar such as him.

The front of the cylinder gave a soft snap as the cover was blown off and a three-pronged hook burst to life, followed close in tow by an industrial-strength wire. Kuiper felt a familiar moment of dread as the hook didn't immediately connect to the metal surface several stories above, before the powerful magnets kicked in and anchored him to one of the spirals. The line tightened and he swung effortlessly onto the metal surface closest to himself, waiting for exactly the right moment. He always told himself the same thing: 'If you let go when you want to let go, they'll be scraping you off the cement. Always wait an extra second."

So he waited until he thought the moment was right, but forced himself to maintain his grasp on his hookshot. Kuiper took a deep breath, then let go, landing seamlessly onto the smooth metal surface. The magnets in his boots kicked in, anchoring the boy to his newfound floor, and he allowed himself one more calming breath before he began his ascent up the building. The slope was enough that he needed to only take a few steps to be up a floor from where he had landed. Judging by the fact that all the lights had been knocked out, it was one Kuiper had already been to. He reminded himself that everything, despite Simon's protests, was going to plan. But, just in case, he ran over that same plan in his head.

"You want us to what?" Simon asked the visitor sitting opposite himself, a worn coffee table the only thing standing between the hacker and his guest. "I'm afraid I must have misheard you."

"You've heard correctly," the man's voice, smooth despite his worried expression, reassured Simon. "I wish for you to remove a few files from the RetroCytus headquarters in Minneapolis. The headquarters in New York and Denver are, I'm afraid, lacking in the information I require."

"And what is this information?" Simon asked. "Our policy is clear: we will not steal government secrets or any weapon codes for first-time clients."

"I can assure you, it's nothing…terrible," the man gave a small wince before continuing. "It's just that this particular file has some rather delicate personal information that would be dangerous should it be leaked."

"You asked for the wrong job, then," Kuiper said from the rafters, making everyone present jump. "You don't want a recovery, you want a transfer. That will cost you extra, I'm afraid," he said, but the client was more worried about something else:

"Why is there a boy on the ceiling?" he asked, but Simon merely waved off the question.

"He's right, you know. Transfers require a mimic file to throw off the target's scent long enough for the initial file to be destroyed or moved to a safer location. While these mimic files aren't necessarily difficult to create, we do require both knowledge of the initial file, and time to prepare the mimic." Simon's eyes gleamed. "Don't worry, you don't have to tell me everything on the main file. Just enough that I can create something that people will believe is the real deal. This can either be done here and now, or you can schedule a private session with me for extra cost in case you aren't comfortable telling my associate here whatever you want to say."

"I'm afraid I'm at a lost," the client said, shrugging helplessly. "You're the first organization I've gone to that asked for information on what you're recovering."

"That's probably true," Kuiper said, making the client jump once more, "but out methods have proven to be effective. Also, I've seen Simon's search history. He doesn't have any right to judge." Kuiper gave a small shudder, but thankfully chose not to elaborate any further.

The client thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, I'll tell you what you're retrieving." Simon gave a grunt of approval, but was quickly shushed by Kuiper. "Can you by any chance replicate photos?" the client asked, and Simon's smile vanished.

"It's possible, but it's rather difficult. If it's a picture you're after, a direct copy is the method you're going to want. It's a lot cheaper for you, and we can set to work a lot quicker as well."

"No, nobody can know this picture exists, and the longer it's on the computer there, the more likely it is that someone will find it. When they fired me, they didn't even give me a chance to clear my files from my work computer, so my replacement may have already found it!"

"How long ago were you fired?" Kuiper said, concern laced in his voice.

"Two hours ago," the man said miserably, followed by an awkward silence.

"I'm highly doubting," Simon said, "that they've found a replacement for you in two hours. However, this gives us, at most, a week to reclaim this file."

"Don't even worry about replacing it with one of your 'mimics,' or, on second thought, even trying to recover it for me," the client said. "I just need this off of the computer and out of my life!"

"Then that makes our job a lot easier," Simon grinned wickedly. "If it's just file removal, that's no problem."

"There may be one…small problem, though," the client admitted. "The way RetroCytus's mainframe works, anything saved onto one computer is accessible through any computer on the network."

"So…I have to…" Kuiper turned pale.

"You need to completely remove this picture from the mainframe," the client said, giving an apologetic shrug.

Nobody spoke for a long time as everyone processed this. Kuiper, though, broke the silence with his usual brand of calm, cool reasoning:

"Simon, I want at least sixty percent."

Kuiper stood directly outside the forty-fifth floor window, scarf pulled up over the bottom half of his face to mask his now-visible breaths. Though he would never complain during a job, there was simply no denying that it was cold, and Kuiper himself was getting tired. Everything was still going smooth, though. He reassured himself as he pulled a second grappling hook from his belt and aimed it at the fifty-ninth floor window, hoping that would be high enough to divert attention. This grappling hook, after all, was a lot different than the first…

A small chuckle escaped his lips as he pulled the trigger and the hook shot out, giving only a soft hum as it shot through the air. There was a loud clickas it connected to the window, and Kuiper seamlessly swung through the window into the forty-fifth floor. Simon hadn't been wrong when he said it would be much more heavily guard, if the three guards that were running his was were any indicators. However, the thief didn't so much as bat an eyelid as he pressed a second button on the cylinder and rapidly pulled on a pair of noise cancelling headphones, praising the designers of the building for their borderline excessive use of glass.

The hook's speakers sprang to life, releasing a high pitched whine that was quickly transmitted through the glass windows throughout the entire building. Within mere seconds, every guard in the complex was screaming in agony in an attempt to cover their ears from the awful noise. Even though it lasted only a minute, it was more than enough to successfully distract the guards while Kuiper simply had to walk by their spasming bodies.

"Say what you will about its effectiveness," Simon's voice returned, much to Kuiper's annoyance. He always preferred to work in silence. "I still say that sound grenade is one of my more cruel inventions."

"Hey, it doesn't kill anyone, does it?" Kuiper asked, not even bothering to be quiet. After a noise like that, the guards would be lucky to hear anything for the next several days. "And the hearing loss isn't even permanent. What're you complaining about?"

Simon made a noise that was somewhere between amusement and concern, but didn't press the problem further, so Kuiper just shrugged and continued his ascent.

Kuiper gazed down at the blueprints from the rafters while Simon and the client, who had introduced himself as Andrew, talked in hushed voices. Already, the thief could see several weak points, but all of them seemed to have extra security in all of the surrounding areas. Even if they managed to turn off primary power, trying to get in would present an entirely new set of problems. The large metal doors in front could only be opened with their own key card, according to the client, and ran on their own personal generators. Even if both primary and reserve power to the building was cut, they still wouldn't budge.

"Do you still have your key card?" Kuiper asked, making the poor client jump again.

"Seriously, why are you on the ceiling?" he asked, but a glare from Kuiper made him answer. "No, they confiscated it when I was removed from the building. If it were that easy, I would have done it myself."

"Could you scale the spirals?" Simon asked, deeply studying the blueprints for any possible point of entry. "It appears their slant isn't so steep as to present you any major problems."

"The base is electrified," Andrew said. "Anything from the fifth floor up shouldn't present any major voltage, and from floors one to two it won't be enough to kill, but three through five have enough juice in them to kill a large elephant."

"Are you calling me fat?" Kuiper asked, looking mildly offended, but Simon quickly defused the situation.

"Let me guess, they're on their own grid as well?" Andrew nodded glumly. "If that's the case, we may have a bit more trouble than we initially thought."

"There is one way," Andrew said, perking Kuiper up. "There's going to be a tour through the main lobby for a high school class this Thursday. They'll only go into the main lobby, and possibly up to the second floor, but that could provide a point of entry."

"Makes sense, but Kuiper doesn't go to school, Simon said. "And I'm highly doubting they'll allow a wanted criminal into their class only for a criminal plot."

"Who said anything about asking nicely?" Kuiper said, pulling a dagger from the folds of his jacket. "By the time I'm done with them, they'll be begging me to stay in their class."

"What're you going to do?" Andrew asked as Simon gave a small snicker.

"I've entered the forty-seventh floor," Kuiper spoke into the receiver as he peered cautiously around the corner. Even after the sound grenade, it was possible that there were still a few guards left standing. Or, even worse, a neighboring building may have heard the noise and had alerted the authorities. If so, that gave Kuiper at most an hour to finish the job and exit the building. And that's if everything went perfectly.

Which it never did.

"Kuiper, we've got a problem," Simon said. "Someone's alerted the authorities, and they're already on their way."

"Already?" Kuiper asked, shocked. "What, is this the only thing going on right now? Aren't there doughnuts to eat, or something?"

"Well, RetroCytus is a pretty big company. It makes sense that they would take precedence in a situation like this. But, you're already this close, I'm leaving it up to you if you want to escape or take the risk."

"Well, that's a really hard question," Kuiper said. "Have all this danger have been for nothing, or run the risk of getting even further onto the po-po's radars. I'm going to take 'run the risk' for five hundred."

"You've got it," Simon said with an audible eye roll. "I'll be here to back you up no matter what. The main computer is the fourth door on your right. The door is locked, but it's pretty low-grade. Strange…" Simon trailed off.

"Don't leave me in suspense, what's up?" Kuiper said, strutting confidently down the hall.

"It's the most important room in the building. You'd think they would keep it well-guarded, right?"

"Well, check the security camera. Is there anything going on?" Kuiper asked, reaching his destination.

"No, there's just this stupid fly that's been buzzing around for the last hour, and-KUIPER GET OUT OF THERE."

Before the thief could respond, however, the wall in front of him exploded.