This is my real attempt at writing. I do not own Twilight, but I sure wish that I did.
This story takes place after Edward leaves, but he does not return. Well, at least not yet.
Three days left…I sighed softly to myself. Although the semester would be ending soon, I knew that I would remain on campus rather than returning to Charlie's empty home in Forks. Just this morning, he phoned me once again trying to make sure that I would be okay spending the semester break in this cold empty town. I sighed. I knew I could not keep Charlie from his dream ice fishing trip, but, really, just how I would spend my time was a mystery to me.
It was not that I regretted my decision to leave Forks. I knew that I surprised most of my classmates, myself included, by not returning to live with Renee in the warm sun. Well, I said that, but I knew I did not surprise myself. I knew exactly why I came up to Alaska. Him.
Wincing as the name threatened to flash through my mind, I suddenly remembered that this wound that he caused had not healed. It was not close to healing and probably never would. Jacob had tried to patch me up, and he had managed with some success. I even thought that for a brief moment that there might have been a future for Jacob and me. Jacob, my own personal sunshine. Boy, I could use some of that right now.
Damn. Go ahead, Bella, and add insult to injury. Why shouldn't I dwell on the dark, miserable, gloomy side of what is my pathetic life. Plopping down on the bench, I slipped on my waterproof suede boots. As I was putting on my jacket, I peeked out the window and saw sleet. Well, it was what I was expecting, but still, I could feel the disappointment welling up in my chest. I should have joined Renee. I could have had my toes buried in the sand. Sighing, I walked outside and briskly walked to my truck.
The door creaked open, and I slid in as quickly as I could manage. Taking off my gloves, I put the key in the ignition. I held my breath as I waited and waited. As the engine roared to life, I let out a big sigh of relief. The last thing I needed was for this old Chevy to die on me. I turned on the radio. For a while after he left, I could not listen to music, any music. After that, my taste went to, let's just say, an extreme. Finally, the songs that we heard, the soundtrack to my once bright and shiny life, fell out of rotation, and now, I could listen once more. Naturally, my luck did not hold out. Really, did they need to make a song called, "Bleeding Love"? Turning the radio off and banging my head softly on the steering wheel, I let out a big breath and tried to rein in the tears.
I came to Alaska knowing that he and his family often visited Alaska, and Anchorage is not that far from Denali. It's not that I expected to see him just walking down the street, but it could happen. Every day, I found myself looking for a flash of his hair or for a glimpse of her pixyish frame. Once I reminded myself that it was not going to happen, I just kept my eyes down trying to avoid slipping on the ice that was there way too often.
Turning the music on once more, I was relieved that a commercial was on and began singing along with it. I wiped my eyes and slowly began my short commute home. I passed slowly out of the city limits to my apartment. I stumbled to the door of my house getting colder and wetter but, the good thing was, I was managing pretty well. I groaned as I remembered the once too many times that I crashed down onto the ice. It was a great relief when I entered my warm, but pretty much bare, apartment. I tossed my jacket on the kitchen table along with my purse. Relieved, I went about getting myself settled in for a long night.
Settling in on the couch, I coved myself in my fleece blanket. My Double Stuffed Oreos and warm hot chocolate sat on the end table near the lamp. I flipped open the computer and it roared to life. My computer, I just loved it. It was a gift from both Charlie and Renee. When I first approached them about it, I was afraid they would say that it was too expensive. I was very surprised, pleasantly, that they both agreed to pay half. Of course, my main argument was that we could use instant messenger and a web cam…Renee would hear from me often. Once she agreed, Charlie just followed along.
Sure enough, Renee was online as soon as I logged in. I smiled ruefully as I noticed she was in a short sleeved shirt and looked suspiciously tanned. She peppered me with questions about my finals, and I reassured her that everything was fine. Of course it was fine. All I did was go to class, work at my cheesy campus job, and study. Unfortunately, in three days all that would be done for about a month. The question remained, just exactly how was I going to fill my days. We talked for a while, and then she told me about Phil. He wanted to go camping. I laughed knowing that Renee would pretty much do anything that he asked her to do, and I wondered just how much she would like sleeping on the damp ground surrounded by wildlife. We talked easily until the silences began. Knowing that the apartment would be silent when this conversation ended, I struggled to keep up the flow of conversation. Without thinking, I mentioned that there was a national park not too far away and that I may try going skiing. I waited, a long, long time, for Renee to stop laughing. She even pulled Phil into the conversation. I could feel that old stubbornness returning, pushing me forward. "Yes, Mom, I am going skiing. You can look it up. It is right near Mt. McKinley in Denali State Park." Did I really just commit to that? Yep, I surely just did. Yikes.
Way too soon, the conversation ended. The apartment fell silent, and I was left to think about what I had just committed to. I groaned just thinking about it. With all of my school work done and my studying pretty much done, I had time to look up the Denali website. The more I looked, the more strangely excited I became. The name Denali rang in my head, and I knew exactly why it had popped up. My breath caught as I whispered the name in my head again, not daring to say it aloud. I knew exactly what was in Denali and who might be there. Never mind that I was a danger magnet. Never mind that Laurent had been killed because of me. None of that mattered to me at the moment. I sighed and let my mind run free knowing that I would seriously pay for it later. Softly, I began to hum my lullaby as visions of Edward flowed through my mind. I fell asleep happily dwelling in the past digging up all of those feelings that I had tried to bury.
Night passed quickly, and I awoke with the full knowledge that I had dreamed of him. In the dark Alaskan morning, I could not even manage to think his name as the dull ache returned to my chest. I wrapped my arms around myself just as much to keep warm as to close those feelings back inside. I dragged myself off the couch, picked up my cookies and milk, and went about my normal morning. Today, I would be writing an essay for English in class. I could get through that pretty easily, and I was not at all concerned. I knew Elizabeth Bennett so well that she could have been my best friend or sister. I would have no trouble scribing an essay on her.
The following days passed pretty much the same. I just had to freshen up a little on my school work, so that took a minimal amount of time. I spent my days arranging my trip to Denali. It was a shoestring budget to be sure, and I was already investing more than I should in this trip. I knew, though, that I could not just stay in this apartment and dwell in the past. Even though I was running to a place that had a connection to the past, I could not just stay here in the dark replaying my every misstep from the past. In the end, I knew getting out would be a good thing for me, shiny vampires or not.
Much to my relief, the days passed quickly. Sooner than I expected, I was unpacking my bags at the Denali Princess Wilderness Lodge. Yes, I did say Denali Princess…can you believe that. The cozy wooden entrance did little to convey the breathtaking beauty of the view from the back deck. I quickly left the isolation of my room to explore my new surroundings. I was quite happy to be away from my stark apartment for Christmas. I stumbled into a hot tub. A hot tub….outside…in Alaska... I was just stunned. Well, there was one place I knew for sure that I would not be frequenting. Hot tubs are meant for, well, I am not sure where they are meant for. Surely, it is not for HERE though. I shook my head in amusement, a smile creeping up on my face for the first time in a long time. I was sure now that coming here was right for me. It was exactly what I needed