I am Tetsuo
Chapter 1
There was light. Tetsuo felt extremely and strangely calm as opposed to seconds before when he could only feel pain…and rage. His eyes failed him so he spoke softly. "What happened", he asked, "where am I?" He knew who was there; he could feel their presence, and he could not figure out why he felt no anger.
"We are in another dimension, Tetsuo," a voice resounded through his mind, "a dimension we all helped to create, even Akira could not do it himself."
"What are you talking about, and where's Akira?" Tetsuo thought or said there was no difference among these people.
"Akira has moved on, he had moved fully overcome the Stream and he can finally rest. Yet he lives within our minds," Kiyoko and Masaru said in unison. "How did all of this happen?" Tetsuo continued to inquire.
"Tetsuo, very soon after you attacked me you began releasing energy equal to Akira's first explosion hat leveled Tokyo in 1992. You see that energy was not enough to create a new Stream but Akira, Kiyoko, Masaru, and I helped concentrate it into this new creation," Miyako replied, knowing Tetsuo would not remember.
"But what happened to that other Stream?" Tetsuo was beginning to see what was around him, or, more accurately, what wasn't.
"Oh, it still flows as it did before; in fact this new Stream flows as a detour from it. The new Stream is still attached to the old one," Miyako explained further.
"So, I can return to that old one, right?" Tetsuo began to feel much safer, much more enraged, and much lonelier. He wanted vengeance.
"You could, if you were able to discard that anger and heal your wounds." Miyako felt his rage, and, far more intensely, his pain.
Tetsuo could see himself now. He was terribly wounded; there were deep gashes all over him and his right arm was gone again. He wondered how this could have happened. He immediately began blaming those around him. "What the hell did you do to me?!" Tetsuo's anger rose and his pain rose along with it. Why was he like this now?
"Tetsuo, the more you return to your anger the more difficult it will be to heal, and the longer you will have to stay here. You must let go of you anger if you hope to move on." Miyako said, compassionately, for she felt his anger.
"And how," Tetsuo demanded, "do I do that? I was always attacked first. Anyone who I hurt deserved what they got, especially you three."
"Tetsuo, forgiving someone is not an easy thing to do because nobody has ever deserved forgiveness, but forgiveness is the only way to heal the wounds and end the pain." Miyako was feeling her own anger and frustration toward Tetsuo returning.
"Like you can talk," Tetsuo retorted, sensing her anger as well.
"I did not say that I had let go of my own anger, Tetsuo. I am merely attempting to help you." Miyako began to feel more frustrated at Tetsuo's attitude.
"You're the one who made me lose control by lying to me about what would happen when I stopped taking the pills!" Tetsuo was on the verge of yelling now. Where was all of this pain coming from?
"Tetsuo, you had been taking extremely high doses of that drug before you came to me. You had done more than enough damage by that time. Your many explosive releases of power only made matters worse. These lessons you learned too late. But it really was not your fault. After all, how could someone in your situation hope to succeed...?"
Tetsuo calmed down a little bit. "What do you mean?"
"Tetsuo, do you have any memories of someone encouraging you?" Miyako asked slightly rhetorically.
Tetsuo was disinclined to answer. "You already know…"
"How could an unloved, alienated person ever achieve anything," Miyako began to feel some sorrow for Tetsuo.
"What the hell did you just say?!" Tetsuo seethed.
"I'm sorry. Tetsuo, please try to understand me, I knew what would happen to you and I chose not to tell you in part because I wanted freedom and also because I did not think it would matter...I sincerely apologize," Miyako said.
"Whatever..." Tetsuo calmed slightly.
Miyako continued. "Tetsuo, do you have a memory of anyone ever affirming your faith in yourself?"
"…No…" Tetsuo felt the bluntness of her question, but far more deeply he felt the pain of a life full of dejection and disinterest. He tried not to reveal his sadness, tried to inhibit the flow of his sorrow, in vain. "Damn it, I can't even control myself now…"
"Tetsuo you should not be so hard on yourself. The beginning of the process of your ultimate alienation was beyond your control, and you had little if any influence in most of the factor that contributed to it." Miyako spoke softly, trying to communicate her own empathy.
"I just…all I wanted…was to be the best" Tetsuo's heart overflowed with his grief and frustration.
"And so, Tetsuo, when they kept you from being equal to them, you used your power to crush them, to rule over them as Master Tetsuo, second in command of The Great Tokyo Empire." Miyako continued, smiling at the irony of that situation.
"But Kaneda was just worried that I would kill his girlfriend, heh heh, and that I was well on my way to intentionally destroying the world," Tetsuo began to smile, "and then Kaori… will I see her again?" His smile faded into mournful melancholy.
"Tetsuo, how many people have you killed, how much pain have you caused to innocent people…Are you ready to let her see you while you are still covered in the blood you've bathed in?" Miyako asked him, trying to get him to go further into his own mindset.
"I don't think I caused more pain than I felt…" Tetsuo added almost coldly. By this time he could clearly see his surroundings. There was just light all around him, everywhere.
"Tetsuo, we know your pain, we felt it when we came here, and you should ask yourself why you would want anyone else to feel the same as you did," Masaru and Kiyoko spoke in unison once again, but now their voices seemed to actually become one voice at times.
Their worlds hit Tetsuo hard. Then Tetsuo could see himself, every scar from every wound he had received ever since Takeshi destroyed his bike was visible. "Why am I still hurt, I thought I healed already?"
"Tetsuo, while your body healed, your mind retained everything; you never let anything go because you never knew how to. You kept feeling like you had to prove yourself to Kaneda and your other friends. In reality, you were always trying to prove that you were superior to Kaneda and everyone else because you always felt inferior." Miyako said.
"And I was willing to tear through anyone who challenged me. That was really why I awakened Akira, because I wanted to keep getting stronger, and he was the strongest." Tetsuo said, deeply absorbed in reflection.
"But that was not really a mistake, Tetsuo. Your real mistake, your first mistake was seeking power in order to prove yourself to other rather than to improve yourself for others."
"What the hell do you mean improve myself for them?! No one ever gave a damn about me unless it got them something." Tetsuo's rage returned, rising and rapidly reaching around the realm. He was not quite ready to forgive anyone yet.
"You know that's not true, Tetsuo. Caring about you only got Kaori a painful death. And it got Kaneda's friends killed and everything he knew desolated."
"And I ended up being the one who got chewed up and spit out over and over until death finally consumed me. They had no idea how much pain I was in and only Kaori really cared." Tetsuo was calming slightly
"Tetsuo, can you really blame them? After all they had to try to rise from the same pile of trash that you did. Listen, Tetsuo, you can either harden your heart, staying in the same place, rejecting all growth and improvement, or you can give up your anger, and begin to grasp your full potential, not only as an esper, but as a man." Miyako was more forceful now, growing weary of Tetsuo's complaints.
Tetsuo would normally have exploded at this, but things were different. He knew why he had lost himself in his pursuit of higher power. It was not really because of what others did to him, but what he had done to himself. But to say he had lost himself would mean that he had know who he was, and that was not exactly true. "But I know who I will be…" Tetsuo thought out loud. He had to do something; go back to that ruinous city and change it. He had seen what he had become, and he hated it. "I'll never go back to that; I'll overcome, show the world how strong I really am." Tetsuo felt the pain fading away. 'I destroyed that city after I had been destroyed by it, now I'll go and rebuild it, for the sake of those who never got a second chance', he thought, resting his mind on Kaori. Tetsuo felt the pain further mitigated.
"Have you had an epiphany, Tetsuo?" Miyako asked rhetorically, for she already knew he had.
Tetsuo began to bend space in the shape of a doorway. He smiled as he was finally, totally free from the pain. Smiling he said "Yes, I am Tetsuo and I will build the Great Tokyo Empire", and disappeared through the portal.