Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. If I did, I probably would be dead because the characters would have killed me out of sheer annoyance at my messing with their lives. As it is, with just fan fiction, they've already tried.

Shippou the Two-Timer

It's a sunny day and Shippou and Kikyou are in love. Yes, I know. Scary thought. They are having a picnic under a willow tree, because Shippou decided it was romantic.

"Say, Kikyou," said Shippou. "Do you have any sweets?"

"I'm afraid not, dearest Shippou," said Kikyou sadly.

"Forget this!" cried Shippou, leaping up. "I'm leaving you for Kagome!"

"But Shippou—!" Kikyou called after him as he bounded away.

At this point I could turn this into an angsty story from Kikyou's point of view about how all the men she loves (yes, I know that's only Inuyasha and Shippou so far, but oh well) seem to leave her for Kagome. But that would be completely off the point. Erm, did I just say 'point'? What point?

"Oh, Kagome!" cried Shippou, launching himself onto Kagome. Some men, er, boys, are really just not shy. "I love you!" See what I mean?

"Oh, Shippou, I'm so happy!" said Kagome. "I love you too!"

"Shippou, what the hell are you doing?!" screamed Inuyasha, bringing his arm up to clout him on the head.

"No, you mustn't hurt my Shippou!" said Kagome, squeezing Shippou tight to her chest.

"Hey, you're squeezing me too hard!" said Shippou, leaping out of Kagome's arms. "I'm leaving you for Sango!"

"No, Shippou!" screamed Kagome mournfully. "You said you loved me!"

"Um?" said Inuyasha. "Am I missing something?"

In fact, Inuyasha was missing something. That is the fact that he was in a story that is run by me, and that I am a nasty little person who likes to mess with people's lives. Mwahaha!

"Oh, Sango!" said Shippou, walking up seductively.

"Yes, Shippou?" said Sango, fluttering her eyelashes.

"I love you!" said Shippou.

"Oh, frabjous day/ Callooh! Callay!" said Sango, quoting Jabberwocky for absolutely no good reason. This could, however, be roughly translated as 'Yay!'

"Why is it that this little boy can win over all these women, and I can barely get any?" said Miroku sadly.

"Because he is wonderful and you are not," said Sango snootily, putting her nose in the air.

At that point, Shippou tried to pull a Miroku on her. Sango, reacting to her natural instincts, knocked him into a tree.

"Eew!" said Shippou. "You violent maniac, you! You're no good for the world's greatest lover!" (Well, actually he's only second. But he tries harder.)

"See, Sango? I'm better for you," said Miroku. Then he tried to grope her. Not such a smart move, considering that Sango kicked him halfway across Japan before going back to mourning for Shippou.

Shippou, hopping along the beach looking for more girls, happy as a very happy clam saw the one of the scariest things in the universe. It was Naraku in a bikini, lying in what he obviously thought was a sexy position.

"Oh, Shippou," he said in a high falsetto. "Don't you want to date me?"

There was a stunned silence. I mean, we always knew he wore eyeliner, but…

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Shippou screamed as he ran away.

Happy Valentine's Day!