DISCLAIMER: All Harry Potter elements belong to JK Rowling. The rest that you can't recognise came from the right half of my brain :)
Rated M just in case.
PolySwapped
Standing in front of the mirror, Hermione touched her face tentatively and, when she found that her skin didn't melt or otherwise react, pulled a silly face and promptly erupted in peals of laughter until tears fell from her now-black eyes.
"Gosh, this is too much, I swear!"
"I beg to differ, monseigneur." Out came Ginny aka temporary Ron from the changing compartment, wearing the most ridiculous outfit to ever grace mankind - an acromantula t-shirt with an oversized and utterly horrendous beige leather jacket coat thrown over it, mismatched loose fabrics of purple and green acting as pants or a dress that left gaping holes to reveal silk stockings on Ron's very unfeminine calves.
Hermione didn't even want to think about the muggle elf shoes in silver glitter and rainbow top hat that Ginny added to the ensemble.
"You," Ginny said, raking her eyes over Hermione. "look absolutely stunning. For a bat, I mean."
Hermione rolled her eyes. She could indeed be called a bat at the moment, for the person reflected right back at herself was the very menacing and cunning Slytherin, bat (ahem, potioneer) of the dungeons, Severus Snape.
Hermione turned and surveyed her outfit. Unlike Snape's usual billowing robes and Victorian suit, she chose a tight fitting white shirt with long and elegant sleeves that were not unlike his robes, she mused, and a casual black suit jacket with the same sleeves as well as a smooth, slimming pair of black jeans.
She couldn't decide whether she liked the new look better than Snape's usual Victorian one.
"To be honest, it's disconcerting to look at you," said Ginny with what looked like an amused frown, if that combination was even possible. "I've never seen Snape in tight clothes and wearing such an openly uncertain expression."
"I know," Hermione grinned. "It's either secretly uncertain, uncertain uncertain, or angry uncertain, right?"
The two witches shared a laugh.
"Ron's going to throw a fit about your outfit, you know."
"So? I heard he's going to turn into me and wear something that will ruin my previously impeccable image at Hogwarts."
"Is that why you picked an acromantula t-shirt? So he can't bear the sight of you long enough to throw a hex?"
Ginny harrumphed.
"As if I need to hide behind an acromantula. I daresay you've heard of my infamous bat-bogey hex?" Ginny fiddled with her wand for show.
Hermione gave a yelp and instantly ducked when Ginny sent out said hex. Not to be beaten, Hermione regained her footing and sent out her own hex. The impromptu hexing game that ensued was finally dissolved when they were simultaneously hit with mild tickling charms, their laughter resonating in the room in much lower octaves than usual.
"Gosh. I just realised, did I just hear Snape's laughter?" asked Ginny, causing them to roll over with laughter again, the sound of which only caused them to keep on laughing.
Unbeknownst to them, the door to the changing suite opened and in came a rather odd, bespectacled Luna sporting a pale blue shirt with a dark neck line and jeans.
"Are you guys done-" One look at the two wizards (witches) laughing on the floor had Luna's eyes widened to an extreme. Her expression, of course, only caused more giggling laughter to ensue.
"This is officially the weirdest things I have ever seen and heard." muttered Luna before glaring at the Hermione and Ginny. "You've already been here for over an hour. Before I regret joining this damned Hogwarts reunion any more than I do now, would you two mind getting your delicate behinds out to the ballroom so that others can change? The rest of the guys have been waiting to see who you've got."
Hermione and Ginny finally got a grip on themselves and stood up, clutching their sides and half wheezing.
"Alright, Harry dear, we're going." said Ginny as Hermione checked herself one last time in the mirror. His nose is quite big, I suppose…thought Hermione. She touched her nose experimentally as Harry spluttered when Ginny, visible via the mirror, did a weird acromantula dance by the doorway that showed off the stockings and shoes.
Hermione was still busy inspecting Snape's features on herself when Ginny called for Hermione to follow.
Letting out a sigh, Hermione headed towards the exit.
A sudden rush of inspiration, however, caused her to stop right beside Harry aka Luna and narrow her eyes.
"Ah, if it isn't our saviour." said Hermione in her most menacing tone.
Harry visibly paled, which turned out to be a sickly look on Luna's already pale complexion.
"Good luck today, Potter. Then again now that you've proven yourself unfazed to being a female, a little dancing should be easy work for you…even if it is on three-inch stilettos." A smirk and signature pause later, Hermione walked out with an imaginative flourish, leaving behind her gaping friend.
Not two seconds from descending the stairs to the ballroom entrance, Hermione already heard Ron's voice echoing: "Gaah! Spider!" followed quickly by "Blimey! What did you do to me, Ginny?!"
The high-ceiling marble space was filled with guests who just arrived to the venue as well as guests who just changed, causing many giggles and eyebrow raising by wizards and witches alike, which was exactly what they were doing while looking at the two youngest Weasley offsprings.
Hermione cringed at Ron's outfit- an ugly pink gown that flaunted no shape nor line whatsoever and which he paired with no makeup and a pair of pink slippers.
"Mr. Weasley."
Ron, much like how Harry did, instantly paled and snapped his mouth shut.
"If you have finished accosting your sister, perhaps you could make yourself useful and…" A raised eyebrow. "go home?"
Thinking she was the real Snape, Ron leaned towards Ginny and whispered: "Oi! What's he doing here? I thought everyone was going to be polyjuiced today with no exceptions?"
Ginny simply laughed out loud while Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Oh, don't be an idiot, Ronald." said Hermione in her typical tone. Filtered through Snape's voice, however, that simply turned Ron into a temporary ice statue.
Giving up on achieving any sense of normalcy, not that she expected much from this ball, mind you, Hermione ignored Ron and walked through the giant arched entrance and into the ballroom.
Classical but pleasant and sweet music weaved into her ears as Hermione slipped past guests - who either did not detect her or gave her wide berth, the same reaction often caused by the original - and ordered a much needed glass of champagne.
She was just enjoying her first sip in the crowded bar when Ginny came to join her.
"Ron's still indecipherable, you know? I think you broke his cognitive system."
Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Cognitive systems? Where did you learn that?"
Ginny shrugged. "Likely from you a long time ago."
Eventually Harry and Ron recovered enough to join them, though apparently not recovered enough to order something less strong than firewhisky.
Ron still eyed Hermione suspiciously as he drank half of his glass at once to 'calm his nerves'.
Harry, on the other hand, got over it completely.
"Is Luna here yet, Harry?" asked Hermione.
"Don't think so, she said she might be a bit late." He took a sip of his firewhisky, grimaced and surreptitiously vanquished the offensive liquid with his wand.
"Still a light weight, Potter?" teased Hermione in her Snape voice. Harry only grinned back.
"You know, sir, I never thought I'd say this but you look much better with a bit feminine flair."
Hermione narrowed her eyes for several long seconds.
"Am I a joke to you?"
They threw their heads back in laughter while Ron and Ginny chuckled along despite not getting the muggle phrase.
Champagne or firewhisky in hand, they giggled to each other over the other polyjuiced guests, most of whom were either dressed hideously or extravagantly to overcompensate.
The Patil twins, for example, were one of those dressed to the nines - white fur, golden glittering gowns with pearls and diamonds…it reminded Hermione of the Great Gatsby.
"Don't tell me…" muttered Hermione as she looked at the two twins flaunted about on the dance floor with no sense of shame whatsoever.
"Yep. My very own twin brothers." confirmed Ginny, looking on with half-closed eyes to lessen the horror.
As a revenge, perhaps, the Patil twins polyjuiced as the Weasley brothers only wore rags and worn-out trainers. One of them even held out a beggar's hat for emphasis.
After the dance ended, the extravagant Weasley twins began heading their way, much to their horror.
"Oy! One firebeer with butter!" cried one.
"And one butterwhisky with fire!" cried the other.
The barkeeper studiously ignored them and continued serving other guests.
"Eh, that's not the right way to treat a customer, ain't it, Gred?"
'Forge' shook his head and wiped away an imaginary tear. "Oh, how that breaks our expensive, metal hearts!"
Ginny rolled her eyes and pulled Harry away to dance, which simply caused the twins to catcall after them.
"Don't get carried away, sis!" shouted one.
"But don't step on his toes, either!" shouted the other.
Ginny turned and flicked them the finger.
The next piece of music started and they watched Ginny begin to lead a very confused Harry in a waltz.
"They could've made a nice couple." said Ron.
Hermione hummed in contemplation. "In looks, maybe. But Harry's been doing great with Luna and Ginny has her own beau now."
Ron nodded somewhat sadly. "I know."
Suddenly, a wicked idea came to Hermione and she grinned so widely it unnerved Ron beside her.
"It's right creepy when you do that as the git, 'Mione. It looks you're scheming something."
"Right on, Mr. Weasley."
Hermione suddenly pulled Ron by the arm, much lighter now as Ginny, and all but flung him towards the dance floor.
"Oy! What was that for?" cried Ron. He tried to step away from the dancers but wasn't quick enough and got swerved into the waltz by Hermione.
"Come now, a dance with your old friend isn't so bad, hmm?" whispered Hermione.
"Not when your old friend became the greasy git."
Hermione swore Ron had turned slightly green.
Ginny and Harry laughed when they caught sight of them.
"What a wonderful couple you make." Joked Harry as they spun past, only to be hit on the chest by Ginny.
"Oy, that's me and Snape dancing, you know!"
As soon as the music ended, Ron detangled himself from Hermione's arms and sprinted away, likely to the restroom.
Chuckling, Hermione went back to the bar while Ginny and Harry continued to dance.
Fred and George was in the midst of convincing a very unconvinced Neville Longbottom aka Millicent Bulstrode in a modest silver gown about the benefits of the product.
"But it is such a great product, we'd be depriving the wizarding world from its newest form of entertainment." said Fred aka Parvati, whose eyes lit up when he saw Hermione approach them. "Hey! Professor! Just in time, think you can convince Neville here how great our potion is?" Fred winked at Hermione, who rolled her eyes.
"Please desist from being a nuisance to anyone from my house, Weasleys."
Neville froze, too shocked to turn and confront his childhood nightmare.
"Neville! It's me! Hermione. I'm just kidding with you." she assured quickly with a smile.
Apparently, seeing Snape smile was many times worse than seeing him sneer, as Neville almost blacked out upon the sight of it.
"Woah, careful there." said George aka Padma, catching Neville and righting him like a toddler.
"Uhm, good to see you, Hermione." Neville flushed in embarrassment and looked steadfastly somewhere behind her to avoid being caught under Snape's gaze. "Oh, has anyone seen Hannah? I'll uh…just go look for her now." With that, Neville quickly slipped away and disappeared into the crowd.
The three remaining ones looked at one another before smiling and shaking their heads at Neville's antics.
"And where were we dear Fred? Oh, yes, our potion. I was here convincing Neville, you see," resumed George. "what better way to spice up these boring reunion balls than with our trio partnership debut? The newly revised polyjuice is absolutely-"
"painless and riskless but absolutely detectable-" joined in Fred.
"like a temporary glamour so that we can all just-"
"relax and have tons of fun-"
"with the new Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!" they finished loudly together.
"Yes, yes, yes, enough with the advertisement," said Hermione. "but what do you mean by trio partnership? I thought you two made it yourselves."
"Ahhh…wouldn't you want to know that, dear Hermione." teased George. "You are now the revered potions master after all, surely you could imagine who helped create our best product to date?"
"Oh." Realisation dawned on Hermione. "But I thought he would definitely refuse."
"He did refuse the first time, that slimy old thing." admitted George.
"And the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth time." counted Fred.
"What made him decide to help the seventh time?"
"Can't tell you that, Hermione dear, trade secret." George made a lip-zipping gesture.
"What we could tell you is that it involved a lot of galleons, revenue agreements, wizard oaths and the like." said Fred.
"Wizard oaths? What on earth did you do to the poor man to make him request that?" asked Hermione incredulously.
Both of the twins instantly put a hand on top of their chests and acted heartbroken.
"To think-"
"Hermione, here-"
"Our close friend since Hogwarts-"
"Thinks that we-"
"Innocent we-"
"Were able to do anything but-"
"Honourable to Mr. Snape is simply-"
"Beyond the notions of madness!"
Hermione sighed, deciding she wouldn't get a proper response from them.
"Boys, excuse me for a minute but I think I'll just head to the loo."
"Already had enough of us?" one of them called after Hermione, to which she just looked back and made a shooing gesture.
The twins laughed hysterically in response, which Hermione thought was an overreaction but shrugged it off as Weasley hysterics.
However, she understood when she passed by a huge vase and saw her reflection; her shooing gesture must have looked ridiculous in Snape form.
Squeezing past an endless stream of chattering folk, Hermione spotted familiar faces and greeted some on the way to the restroom. She also crossed paths with Ginny who was just going to retrieve some new drinks.
Ginny instantly pulled Hermione's arm and pointed her towards one end of the ballroom, where Harry and a few others were chatting.
"Doesn't he look stunning?"
"Uhh, sure. The Luna earrings suit him."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "No, dummy." She pointed again.
Well, Hermione blinked, he did look stunning. With a smart-looking navy and silver suit, he was the living definition of charm and charisma. Having the same handsome face and hair as Draco Malfoy helped a bit, too, she supposed.
"I guess, Gin. You've been pining after Ferret for months. He could be covered in slime and you'd still call him handsome."
"You know me so well." Ginny smirked. "But it'd do you good to know that Draco is now actually Hannah and vice versa."
Hermione did a double-take. "Hannah Abbott?"
Ginny nodded, snickering at Hermione's bewildered expression. "Neville's going to have an aneurysm when Hannah goes up to him."
"But where's the original?"
Ginny swerved Hermione to look at the opposite direction and pointed again. Mingling right in the centre of a group of Hufflepuffs (who happened to be Hufflepuffs originally, too), was Draco aka Hannah, wearing some innocent-looking knitted sweater and jeans, grinning rather smugly as he listened to who-knows-what.
"Poor lambs." said Ginny, pitying the Hufflepuffs who were no doubt in the process of exposing something to the Slytherin wolf. "I think I ought to expose him. Take the real Hannah over, you know? Just to let them know who's become whom."
"Won't earn you any brownie points with Draco, you know."
"Earn me what points again?"
"Never mind, Gin."
They were just going to head their separate ways to the loo and bar when Hermione held Ginny back."Have you seen me yet, so far?"
"Gee, I don't know, I've just been talking to you for the past five minutes…"
Hermione huffed. "You're being obtuse on purpose."
"I am." agreed Ginny readily. "But to answer your question, I haven't."
"Who did I swap with, you think?" asked Hermione as she stretched her neck to see if she'll catch sight of her uncontrollable mane of brown hair.
"Oh, didn't I tell you? My brothers made everyone swap identities and gender tonight. Like how I swapped with Ron and the twins with the twins."
Hermione blushed as she realised that it was true. There were Ginny and Ron, the Weasley twins and the Patil twins, Harry and no doubt, Luna, and Draco and Hannah. She just haven't given it much thought because of how disconcerting it was to see people she knew behave completely differently.
"Wait." Hermione's brain came to a halt. "That means Snape is me?"
Ginny giggled shrilly, from excitement or devilish amusement Hermione couldn't tell. All she knew was that it sounded highly offensive coming from Ron's vocal chords.
Taking pity on Hermione's horror, Ginny nudged her in the ribs teasingly.
"Stop scaring yourself shitless, professor. I don't think he came to the ball, let alone drink a potion that involved Fred and George."
"Language." admonished Hermione automatically, to which Ginny only smirked.
"I'm off to the bar now. Want me to fetch you something?"
"Another champagne, and a glass of milk for your childishness, Miss Weasley."
"It's Mr. Weasley now, sir, didn't you know?"
Hermione glared at Ginny for her insolence, who tittered and quickly disappeared into the crowd.
Huh. Me as Snape, Snape as me. thought Hermione. It would've been funny if Snape attended the event though.
...not to mention odd. And horrendously awkward.
No, Hermione comforted herself. It was best that Snape didn't come.
After casting a heavy round of privacy spells in the restroom, Snape stood in front of the mirror with a comb in hand and looked back at the reflection of the know-it-all, Hermione Granger.
He swore he was going to make the Weasley twins pay for it. Apparently taking wizards oath weren't enough to stop them from pranking him, a huge contributor to the modified and harmless polyjuice glamour potion.
"Everyone is going to swap with each other in the ball." said one.
"But we've taken the wizard oath to not pull a prank on you, ever. So we've made sure to only give you a polyjuice to become someone you're amenable to. We don't want you becoming old Slughorn, now, do we?" assured the other.
Those lying, conniving brats, seethed Snape. He was never going to work with them again, even if this potion did reap in quite a few galleons for his Gringotts vault.
But first of all, he had to sort out this horrid mess of hair…again.
He'd already accepted his fate when he drank the potion in the changing room and found himself shrinking and morphing, to his utter terror, into his former student. A female one, and this particular female, to boot.
He had quickly changed out of his clothes into some random gown that he found, mortified that someone would burst in and find out who he was originally. It was fortunate that he did, because no sooner had he found a pair of shoes without heels (thank Merlin) did the door fly open and in rushed Lavender Brown to change.
Snape had all but flew out of the changing room and sought refuge in the nearest restroom by the ballroom entrance. There, he already wrestled once with the nestle of brittle wires that Granger dared to call hair. Attempted flattening, smoothening and even shrinking spells only made matters worse. Glamours, while in this polyjuice form, was ineffective, so Snape had no other choice but to simply try grooming his way out of it.
Tedious minutes later, he finally made progress and dared step out of the restroom, only to be accosted by Gryffindors who dragged him to the ballroom and was made to dance with a boy who Snape vaguely remembered as Finnigan.
Finnigan, Snape eventually deducted by observing who was swapped with who, actually turned out to be Cormac McLaggen.
With the most disgusted sneer he could manage, Snape promptly left McLaggen stranded mid-dance. He followed his exit with a discreet stinging hex to a (ahem) strategic area.
McLaggen's infatuation with the girl had not ended even after the war, Snape's mind observed. It was a pity that it wasn't really Granger whom McLaggen accosted, since he was sure she would be mortified by such an act and thus further discourage any subsequent advances.
It also goes to show how slow McLaggen was to not realise that everyone was polyjuiced in the ballroom and thus different from who they were projected to be.
One look at his reflection on a nearby vase housing a weird specimen made Snape almost groan aloud. The awkward dancing, although short-lived, was enough to make his (Granger's) hair become tangled up again.
Defeated, Snape marched to the nearest restroom, only to face the horror-stricken youngest Weasley offspring face to face before hurriedly mutter apologies and ducking into the restroom next door.
After casting privacy spells again and making sure no females were in the vicinity, Snape began to comb through the hair once more. Having done it once, he did it much quicker this time. But there was one huge knot that refused to budge however he teased, adjusted or stretched.
He was just cursing and contemplating cutting the chunk of hair when he noticed someone walk in and raised his head- and was greeted by himself, wearing modern, tight fitting clothes and gaping like a fish.
In a very Snape-like manner that (un)fortunately got diluted by Granger's feminine curves, Snape went to stand in front of her and pointed at her with the abused comb.
"You shut your mouth this instance, miss Granger. I will not have myself behaving like an idiot."
Snape was practically seething, and in response to that, Granger's hair on him had begun to resemble medusa-like beings. Upon seeing that, Granger wisely remained silent, but there was a quiver to her lips that, for a moment, Snape thought would be the precedent to tears or an explosion of indignant responses.
He was therefore taken aback when Granger tilted her head back and wholeheartedly laughed…in his voice.
Unsettling indeed.
That snapped the last of Snape's resolve to survive the ball. To be laughed at by his former student, this former student and in his own form? That was enough insults for one evening.
Without warning, he grabbed hold of Granger's arm and held tight.
Granger frowned. "What are you-"
Her sentence remained unfinished however, as they dissapparated with an echoing pop in the extravagant restroom.
The world around them stopped spinning and Hermione tentatively opened one eye. Snape had already released her arm and was now glaring at her resolutely. His signature 'death glare' was much less effective when it was coming from yourself, however.
"Why are we in your quarters?"
Although Hermione had never set foot in Snape's quarters at Hogwarts, the windows and the overall design were familiar enough for her to deduce their location.
"To avoid being the centre of ridicule, obviously." said Snape matter-of-factedly.
Ahuh. More like to avoid your body being the centre of ridicule, thought Hermione. But Snape carried on talking, unaware of her inner thoughts.
"I am speaking for the both of us, of course, considering that we have the misfortune of being given each other's polyjuice…though I daresay I am more inclined to worry of what I may be witnessed doing in that…ridiculous outfit."
Hermione snorted. "Ridiculous? You should've seen the looks directed at it in the ballroom. All very heated and lu-"
"Nonetheless," interjected Snape. "I refuse to have my body seen doing things without my explicit permission."
"Just so you know, I've already been seen dancing with Ginny Weasley, who is actually Ronald-"
"What?!" Snape all but shouted.
Hermione merely grinned at Snape's sudden discomfort, which, of course, only made Snape's anger multiply.
"You insolent little-" Snape started to say, but stopped. No doubt he realised how different his insults sounded in Hermione's angry voice. Instead of a mature, menacing professor, he sounded like a petulant girl.
"You were saying?" Hermione found herself retorting, unable to deny the tempting chance to taunt Snape while she was him.
Snape narrowed his eyes at Hermione.
"Know-it-all." said Snape in the most demeaning tone possible, which wasn't much at the moment.
"Was that all?"
Snape smirked evilly.
"Always the know-it-all. The ones with the brains among the Golden Trio. You know," His smirk became a sneer. "they say that females with the most brains has the least…assets." Snape gestured vaguely to his now-feminine but undeniably rather flat chest.
Hermione flushed a deep red.
"That's just…mean and childish, professor!"
Snape rolled his eyes and went to pour himself a glass of firewhisky. "No longer your professor."
Be that as it may, Hermione wasn't going to let him go so easily.
"Well, in any case, I heard the same applies to men." said Hermione as she sat onto one of his armchairs and crossed her legs primly.
Snape whirled around so quickly that Hermione's hair comically slapped onto his face.
"I'll have you know that my assets are perfectly well proportioned, Granger," Snape irritably flicked away the hair. "Though I can't say the same for yours…after all, I did have some trouble choosing a suitable outfit tonight that could a accommodate a smaller-"
Smack! An innocent cushion previously lying dormant on another armchair flew straight for Snape and hit him right in the face.
"A pillow fight, Granger? And you said I was being childish." Snape appeared calm but his voice sounded deadly. That was the tone Hermione usually used to threaten Harry and Ron when they refused to do their homework.
No sooner had Hermione opened her mouth to retort when she was suddenly covered with pillow feather head to toe.
"You're kidding me." groaned Hermione. The feathers were stuck on her as if on skin brushed with tar. She tried to spell them off her but to no avail. She pointed a finger at Snape.
"Snape, you better get this off of me or-"
Hermione couldn't believe it.
Snape was bent over clutching his stomach, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably, laughing.
Hermione blinked. Oh well. Who knew that an ice statue only thaws at the sight of itself covered in feathers?
Amused but not losing her vindictive side yet, Hermione watched with satisfaction as Snape gave a very unmanly yelp when he found himself equally covered in feathers.
Seeing Snape so helpless in her body and covered with feathers turned out to be such a bizarre image that Hermione doubled over with laughter, too. No wonder Snape laughed.
By the time Hermione recovered enough to look at Snape, she saw that he had settled onto the armchair opposite her, feather intact and all.
She promptly burst into another laughing fit.
"Kindly refrain from laughing yourself into insanity, miss Granger. It is most unbecoming." said Snape.
Eventually, Hermione managed to pull a straight face and settle back onto her seat, though her feathers made it quite ticklish.
"You do know the feathers stays on for a whole hour, right?" she asked.
Snape nodded.
"So why haven't you cast the counter-spell yet?"
Snape thinned his lips. "Although it may surprise you, I do not have enough time on my hands to find the counter for every whimsical spell that exists."
"What!" This time it was Hermione's turn to exclaim. "I thought it was your principle to know the counter before learning the spell!"
"That, miss Granger, was about potions, not childish hexes."
Hermione groaned. "And how long will it take for the polyjuice potion to wear off again?"
If possible, Snape thinned his (Hermione's) lips so much they almost disappeared from view.
"Three more hours."
"Can't I just go home?"
"And let you sneak back into the ballroom? No."
Hermione huffed indignantly. "As if I would do that."
Snape simply gave her a withered look.
Granger peered at his bookshelves openly as they waited. Snape could practically feel her fingertips itching to withdraw one of the titles. She even glanced back at Snape once when she saw a particularly interesting tome, but Snape pretended not to see her and resumed reading.
"Agh!" Granger finally exclaimed. "I can't wait here and do nothing! It's only been fifteen minutes and I'm bored witless."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe it is my responsibility to ensure that you are entertained."
Granger narrowed her eyes. "But it was your demand to have me remain here till the potion wears off."
With a flick of his wand, Snape summoned the book that Granger was nearly drooling over to her armchair.
"Sit and read," he ordered. "in silence."
That lasted for approximately half an hour before the chit began to ramble about the amazing findings featured in the book. While Snape agreed with her points and sympathised with her excitement, he couldn't help but snap at her insistent chatter, after which another period of silence ensued.
The hour gradually grew late, and Snape felt himself dozing off in the comfort of his armchair. A glance at Granger informed him she was feeling equally drowsy, if the expression on his original face was anything to get by.
Oh well, he thought. it's not as if we have anything better to do.
Deep breaths Hermione, no, that's too much, slower…Hermione tried to relax and keep her breathing as even as possible, afraid she'll somehow wake up Snape who dozed peacefully opposite her.
They've obviously slept for more than two hours as the polyjuice had worn off already without them being aware of it. Now, without any inhibitions, Hermione took her time observing Snape's features.
It certainly felt bizarre to actually be him before, but now that Hermione could look at Snape properly, she had to admit that he was…dashing despite what others may say about his appearance.
She felt drawn to him, Hermione realised. But when did this start? Certainly not tonight. Probably during the days when she met the cranky Hogwarts potions master in meetings about creating potential cures that would be funded by St. Mungos.
Hermione found an apprenticeship in St. Mungos straight after graduating from Hogwarts with the rest of the 8th years such as Neville, Luna, and surprisingly, Ron.
Her romance with Ron never took flight after the battle. Hermione wasn't sure why, but she just never felt the spark that she thought they had. They remained close friends though and Hermione was happy that he decided to further his studies and not take advantage of his fame.
Harry understandably took a year off to travel around the world to try and put the past behind him for once and simply live. Near the end of his travels, he bumped into Luna somewhere in Russia where she was hunting a certain rare winter species. Hermione assumed they began their romance then.
Hermione had the choice of apprenticing in a number of specialties in St. Mungos, and she eventually opted for the ward that dealt with the rarest and deadliest of illnesses.
Why did she focus on that? Hermione sometimes wondered about it herself when her research reached yet another dead end. Was it for the challenge? Of course. But...she couldn't deny that she might have been swayed toward it when it was revealed that one patient who lay in the very depths of that ward was Severus Snape, put in a magical stasis to let the anti-venom (that the man had brewed and kept in a hidden pocket at all times) work its magic.
It was a long and perilous process and many were uncertain whether he would make it. But four years later and after many months of recuperation, Severus Snape was back in the wizarding world.
Recently promoted to head mediwitch in the terminal illnesses department, Hermione had thus been working with Snape quite closely once he resumed his role as potions teacher in Hogwarts.
Their partnership had been strictly business-like, however. The only difference compared to when Hermione was still Snape's student was that she was not so afraid of speaking her mind anymore and she no longer evaded his anger. In fact, sometimes it amused her to witness it. That she would never say it to the man's face, though.
And now she looked at Snape as he slept, his features relaxed and free from the wrinkles he'd gotten from frowning, sneering or whatnot.
Hermione sighed wistfully.
Snape could practically feel Granger's eyes roaming over him as he pretended to sleep. Honestly, how dim was she if she didn't even realise that he was awake? Nevertheless, Snape didn't move, willing the girl to leave his quarters since they were back in their usual selves.
Granger heaved a sigh, but for what Snape had no idea.
After a long moment with no further movement, Snape heard Granger's breathing even out again. Darn it, did she fall asleep again? The nerve of her! Snape opened her eyes and, indeed, Granger was out as a light.
This time it was Snape who observed the person opposite him, drinking in the sight of Granger, curled up in the armchair with a blanket (transfigured from a handkerchief). Granger painted a pretty picture with her hair, now on the softer side, framing her delicate face and glowing slightly from the reflected orange glow from the fireplace, her expression relaxed and somewhat…wistful.
Snape admitted to himself silently that she was no longer like the know-it-all student he taught once upon a time. In fact, she had become a well-established witch with brains and looks that had many wizards chasing after her. Snape had noticed many such wizards, but not once did she look at them twice.
And why was that? Were they not handsome? Well, some of them most definitely weren't attractive at all. But some were, and a few even looked like one of those wizards featured on those dreaded witch magazines.
Were they smart enough? Regrettably, no. Most of them lacked the intelligence and passion that Granger possessed. But there were a few here and there, average in looks but acceptable in terms of intelligence and knowledge. Yet…Granger merely conversed with them politely and professionally. Not like the way she did with him when they discussed potion theories.
When he was still in stasis, Granger was somehow always present around him. Checking on his status, adjusting the temperature and the lighting in the room, washing him (thankfully there was a simple spell for that), and administering food to him. At least that was what the other healers told him after he woke up.
But Granger never showed her face after he woke. He had honestly expected the inverse and had prepared a long speech for the insufferable know-it-all to demand that she leave him be.
Maybe it was exactly that - Granger knew she was unwanted and had left him alone. Snape refused to acknowledge the slight twinge of disappointment he had felt at that conclusion. The healers had comforted him (as if they knew what he was thinking), saying Healer Granger was merely shy.
And shy she was indeed. She never approached nor openly flirted with anyone, though she could become a bit raucous around her friends. The one person Snape remembered her ever being interested in was Weasely.
He shuddered minutely when he pictured the ginger-head pawing his hands on Granger.
A very disturbing visual. he admonished his imagination. He quickly replaced the image with something much, much more pleasant, where the person touching Hermione became taller, sleeker, replacing red hair with black hair and eyes…someone who whispered indecent things to Hermione in a deep voice, causing her to blush crimson, and her delicate form turning to mush the moment the man's lips descended onto hers…
As if on cue, Hermione moaned out loud in her sleep and Snape all but jumped out of his armchair in alarm. His cheeks tinged a dusty pink when he realised what he had been imagining, and only then did he become aware of his very noticeable physical reaction in his trousers and scrambled inelegantly for the bathroom.
Unbeknownst to Snape, Hermione was having her own version of an erotic daydream. A tall figure with black hair murmured sweet nothings into her ear in a seductive, low voice that turned her legs to jelly, and she grasped onto his neck for support as he tilted his head and kissed her lips softly.
"What do you want, witch?" she heard him murmur.
"I need you. Please." whimpered Hermione desperately.
"Please who?" prompted the man, caressing her neck with light kisses that made her toes curl.
"Please…Severus!"
Hermione woke up with a start, her breath rapid and shallow as she slowly took in the surroundings around her.
Did I say that out loud? Gods, Hermione hope she didn't. At least Snape wasn't in the room.
"Snape?" called Hermione tentatively. But there was no reply.
Hermione put on her shoes and padded to another room through an archway, arriving to what must be Snape's study, which was equally empty, so she went to another room, which turned out to be Snape's bedroom.
Hermione looked at the king size bed with wide eyes. It looked awfully soft and inviting despite its dark, almost black, green covers. Maybe if she just sneaked into the covers and…
A door suddenly opened and bright light filled the room. Standing by the bathroom door was Snape holding a towel to dry his hair, a bathrobe tied loosely around him.
Both gaped at each other in shock, uncertain of what to do.
Snape recovered first and he instantly pulled his bathrobe tighter around him. "Trust you not to leave a man a moment of peace, Granger."
Hermione huffed. "You were gone, so I came to look for you."
"And what do you wish to do now that you've found me?" asked Snape with a raised sardonic eyebrow.
Uhhh…do you? Hermione's traitorous mind supplied. Unfortunately for her, her eyes had unwittingly locked into Severus's and created a mental passage between them, resulting in Hermione's thoughts flashing as obvious as neonlights to Severus.
Severus's eyes widened as Hermione realised her blunder and blushed deep scarlet.
"What?" asked Snape disbelievingly.
If Hermione wasn't so embarrassed, she would've seen Snape's mind on lock down - his expression so openly surprised that his occlumency shields were nowhere to be seen.
Mortified, Hermione turned to leave the room (and likely leave Hogwarts and never return) but Snape grabbed her arm and whirled her around to stand in front of him.
"What did you mean by that?"
Eyes glued to the floor, Hermione prepared to apologise and ask Snape to be merciful and let her go, but the moment she gathered enough courage to look up at him, she lost all coherent thought.
Looking back at her was not a man enraged, incredulous or mocking, but that of a man filled with desperate hope and longing.
"I…" Hermione struggled to speak. "That I like you and…need you?"
Granted, that wasn't the most eloquent love confession in history but it passed the message to Snape loud and clear because the next moment, Hermione found herself in a passionate lip-lock with the man in her dreams.
Hermione gasped when Snape slipped his tongue inside her mouth and licked and caressed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and surrendered to the drugging sensation until she, like in her dream, turned to mush.
Holding her upright with his hands on her bottom, Snake smirked devilishly and kissed her forehead.
"Is this what you want?" asked Snape in a low voice as if sharing a secret, eyes sincere as they tried to detect any hint of hesitation from the witch in his arms.
"Gods, yes." Hermione closed the distance between them again and took charge of the kiss, sucking and licking passionately as she reached down to take one of Snape's hands and put it flush against her breast.
Snape flexed his hand around it and Hermione moaned into their kiss, thrusting her hips forward in search for some friction, causing Snape to let out a possessive growl.
"Slow down, witch, or I will take you right here and now."
Hermione's eyes twinkled as she whispered to Snape's ear. "And if I say that's exactly what I want?"
Snape's fiery gaze was unwavering as he whispered back. "Then that's what you'll get."
Hermione yelped as Snape lifted her up and, in a few steps, deposited her onto his bed.
During their heated lip-lock, they had somehow unbuttoned Hermione's shirt half way and shimmied her jeans to her thighs, revealing her matching underwear in dark blue and white lace.
Snape couldn't help but pause and admire the beautiful witch spread out in front of him that was all for his taking. He couldn't believe his luck and his expression must have said the same because Hermione smirked.
"My assets aren't so small after all, are they?"
Snape snorted and leaned down to kiss the said assets. "I stand corrected, madam. They are positively and excruciatingly, enchanting..."
"You know," said Hermione as Snape cuddled her from behind, an arm wrapped snugly around her waist. "when I first came into the room, I thought this looked like a very inviting bed."
Snape raised an amused eyebrow. "Did you?"
Hermione nodded.
"It looked very soft and fluffy. And it is. Like you."
Snape huffed and pinched Hermione's waist to let her know exactly what he thought of that, but the damned witch merely giggled.
"And, you know…" said Hermione mischievously. "it's king size."
"The bed, you mean?" Snape seem to catch on to what Hermione wanted to say, which admittedly was for the better because she blushed, unable to voice aloud what she was alluring to.
Snape chuckled, his deep voice resonating in the room, causing Hermione's heart to surge. He released Hermione from his embrace and turned her to face him.
"Of course," said Snape smugly. "It befits even a king."
Hermione shook her head. "No, not a king's." She pulled Snape downwards for a tender kiss and smiled.
"A Prince's."
Snape's returning smile melted her insides. "And you are my queen, my witch…Hermione."
"Severus." Hermione caressed Severus's face with her hands.
Ever so slowly, Severus lowered his lips to Hermione and they kissed even more tenderly and lovingly than they did before, slowly…as if to engrave this moment into their minds forever.
END
Author's note:
Hello! Were you expecting more 'action'? My apologies, I did try to write it, but I kept cringing so hard I just decided to settle for this lighter version.
In case it isn't already obvious, I'm a new fanfic writer and this is my first official work! Yay…or not. Have you ever finish writing something and instantly hated it? Well, that's what I'm feeling right now.
But anyway, I hope some of you enjoyed it and maybe snickered, giggled, or laughed a little bit...No? None at all? Oh, ok… (walks away and dives head first into the Veil )
Just kidding!
Thanks for reading :)
AmiReves