Jesus. Every FUCKING MORNING. Another parasite living off my mom's cliché idea of communal living. There's some random man lurking in my knickers draw for spare pants when I wake up, and on the first day of college as well! Its like living in a fucking hostel for Christ's sake. This is it though. I haven't seen or heard off anyone since that party. Not that I fucking care. Not that I need anyone. It's because of that Emily Fitch and her totally psychotic bitch of a sister. Emily came onto me at a party I didn't even really want to go to, but I did, and when her sister walked in, I got slapped, told I was a sick muff munching bitch, and to stay away from her sister by the charming Katie, and still, Emily said nothing.

Mom tries to give me a kiss before I leave, I duck under her so she cant, giving her daggers, even though she's not aware I'm pissed about the random man in my room. So what. She knows I completely disagree with it.

Round View College. The shit hole of Bristol. All pill popping piss heads with no ambition. But I've got no choice really. Its two years. I get my grades. Keep myself to myself simple.

When I get there we're directed into the sports hall. I can see Katie snogging the face off her football boyfriend like the whore she is in his car, with the top down so everyone can see, while Emily struggles to get out frantically at the back. She looks different. Quite pretty really. But she won't get any attention with Katie around.

I take my seat in the hall, there's some obnoxious wanker talking about how much cock hair he has, like anyone cares. I can't help myself…typical Naomi Campbell…

"Nice."

"Like a porcupine" he replies with a grin.

"Right, your all prick"

"Toosh" He says smile faltering slightly.

What an idiot!

"You mean too shay?" I say hardly believe him to be so idiotic.

"Probably" he says smile returning.

Jesus. This was the next two years.

I sit down, and say

"Wanker"

He laughs, and turns back round.

What the hell is this? Queer music starts playing, everyone's laughing, and it's like the college's theme tune or something. I let out a sigh as four teachers enter.

The college's director starts a monologue about the rules at Round View and the behaviour that won't be tolerated. After Doug (the head of year) lets out a few farts and confesses the fact he's had too much rhubarb on his ready brek, another teacher who looks like a nervous wreck reads out the forms. Surprise, surprise, Katie Fitch is called first, she makes an act of thrusting her hand into the air waving it about, so everyone can see who she is. Then Emily Gets called, she doesn't make as much effort of attracting attention to herself, and gingerly raises her hand and then puts it straight back down again. Then some geeky looking boy called Jonah Jeremiah Jones is called, he's sitting next to that wanker from before. Then the wanker himself is called, James Cook, Then the guy sitting on the other side of the geeky boy, Fredrick Mclair. They all give each other a hi five. Best friends. I May vomit if I end up in this form. Then some mysterious looking girl called Elizabeth Stonem, and the girl sitting next to her Pandora Moon, she looks likes she's on drugs. Then my name gets called, of course, should have been preparing for this, Naomi Campbell, how hilarious, everyone starts the laugh, then Doug takes his speaker phone and makes even more of a show by calling my name through it. I've got no choice now; I thrust my hand up muttering "for fucks sake" and then take it back down with a sickly smile.

The cook kid asks

"Hey Naomi, are you gonna hit me with ya shoe now or?"

I stick my finger up at him. Tosser.

I look round, Emily's looking at me; She gives me a sad smile, and looks at her feet. She's really pretty. Katie sees me looking and starts whispering something into Emily's ear laughing, I try to lip read, what is she saying about me to Emily? But there's this annoying sound in my ear.

"Babe, babe, babe…"

I loose my patience.

"Sorry, I'm NOT a babe"

"I'll be the judge of that"

Cook replies smirking.

He asks if I know what he's got tattooed on this cock. That's it. Thrusting my hand into the air I say

"Excuse me, the boy next to me says he wants to show me his tattoo, and not in a nice way"

This leads to the teacher demanding cook to show off his tattoo, so we can all marvel at its stupidity to quote her, Cook being a bell end, obliges showing the whole year his manhood on the first day.

Ridiculous.

We're all excused. I sneak a look at Emily as she leaves. Looking beautifully sad. Why am I looking at her? Jesus.

I walk alone to my new form, everyone chatters away in the corridors. As I get closer, I can see Katie talking to That Elizabeth girl, and Emily is lagging behind her, she shuts up when I get closer. I walk past her. As I walk into the classroom, I over hear her "eurgh, don't talk to her, she tried to snog my sister in middle school"

Again, Typical Naomi Campbell I can't resist.

I double back.

"Watch out Katie, I might get confused and accidentally fuck you with my great big strap on by mistake"

I give her a filthy look; observe The Other girl, and walk in.

Our form tutor hates being a teacher. Great. Although he doesn't seem half bad.

After form I go for a fag. I breathe it in, with my eyes closed, what a shit morning.

When I open them, Emily's stood there, looking extremely awkward.

I stare at her. She stares back.

I stand up and start to move.

"Naomi!" she calls

"What?" I say turning round.

"I'm sorry."

I spare her one last look, and walk off.

She's sorry? Of course, let someone else take the blame for your whatever it was. Even so I can't help but not be mad at her.

I can still see her crestfallen face in my head.

I shake the thought and carry on walking.