Title: LosingGrip

Words: 2058

Characters: KendallXLogan(main),mention of Camille, mention of Jo

Warnings: Language

Ever since Kendall started dating Jo to keep up his image, Logan felt like losing him a bit more every day. Logan and Kendall were in love. Really, honestly and unconditionally in love. At least they were when they were still living in Minnesota. Back in Minnesota, Logan was openly gay, Kendall openly bi-sexual. They knew, even before they accepted to move to LA and sign a record deal, that they had to keep their relationship a secret and that they would have to pretend that they both liked girls. It wasn't that hard for Kendall because to be honest, he was kinda falling in love with Jo, but for Logan it was like the end of the world. Even though Logan was openly gay, only James, Mama Knight, Katie, Carlos, Camille and of course Kendall knew about it. Actually, when you come to think about it, Logan wasn't so openly gay, was he?

Anyways, a few months after coming to LA, Kendall started dating Jo. And since that day, Kendall had changed. Before, nothing could separate Kendall or Londall, as James and Carlos jokingly called them. Of course, Logan knew that he and Kendall couldn't spend all day together in LA or someone would find out that they were in love with each other. So it was like a look here, a simple touch there and no one would suspect anything. But now it wasn't even that anymore. Kendall didn't even do so much as hug Logan anymore. Sometimes, Kendall wouldn't even talk to Logan for a day or two.
2 weeks ago, when Kendall didn't talk to Logan for 3 days straight, Logan got really depressed and that's when it happened. He cut himself for the first time in his life. Kendall, the love of his life, wouldn't even talk to him anymore and Logan really didn't know what he did to make Kendall so upset. It wouldn't occur to Logan that it wasn't his fault at all.
2 weeks ago, Kendall realized that he was falling in love with Jo. That fact scared him a lot. He didn't want to hurt Logan, he didn't want to tell him that he was falling for Jo. After all, Jo was just supposed to be his alibi girlfriend. So Kendall ignored Logan for three days to clear his mind. The only conclusion he made was that he still loved Logan but also liked Jo a lot. Kendall didn't want to lose Logan but he knew that wasn't really doing anything to prevent exactly that from happening. Logan was the love of his life but right now he didn't show him that.
Now, 2 weeks later, Kendall didn't talk to Logan again. Logan was sitting on the orange couch in the living-room and was staring blankly at the TV. He didn't even have any idea what program he was(n't) watching.
"Hey, Logie-bear, what's going on?"
Logan looked up and saw Carlos standing in front of him. "Hm?"
"Is everything alright, Logie?", Carlos asked again.
"What? Oh yeah, yeah. Everything is just fine", Logan answered and stood up to go to his room. He closed the bedroom door behind him and sat down on his bed.
Everything was falling apart and right now this was all Logan could say for sure. Logan was thinking about everything that Kendall did or better said didn't do over the last couple of weeks and that was when he asked himself why he even cared. Remembering some lyrics "Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared. I was so alone. You need to listen, I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone."And Logan decided that this was actually really true. He can't just sit around waiting for Kendall to do something. Logan was going to take matters into his own hands and do the same thing to Kendall. And he already knew exactly who to ask to play his little game.

"Camille", he said when he was standing in front of the brunette girl at the pool. "Hey, listen, can I talk to you in private for a second?"
Though slightly confused, Camille nodded and lead him to her apartment. "What's going on, Logan?", she asked when they sat down on her couch.
"Camille, I need your help. You are one of the few persons that know that Kendall and I are, or at least we were, in love. You also know how he is fake-dating Jo. I...Would you...I mean...Would it be okay for you if...if we fake-dated?"
The brunette girl looked at the brunette boy for a second until finally speaking again. "You know, Loges, maybe it isn't such a bad idea. What's going on between you and Kendork anyways?"
Logan actually had to smile now. Camille usually didn't call Kendall Kendork, just when she was really upset about him which she apparently was.
"I don't know", Logan answered honestly and she told Camille everything and just as he finished, he broke into a fit of tears.
"Shh, Logie. It's gonna be okay." Camille tried to calm Logan down and pulled him into a hug but he just kept on crying even harder now and for the first time in her life, Camille Roberts didn't know what to say. Camille started to rock Logan a little bit while softly running her hands up and down his back. After a while, Logan fell asleep in her arms so she tried to lay him down on the couch as careful as she could and pulled a blanket over him. With a kiss on his forehead and a ''Sleep tight, Logie'' she left the apartment to go looking for Kendall and Jo.
"There you are", she said, pointing angrily at Kendall. "We need to talk! NOW!" She didn't even wait for him to answer, she just dragged him alone with her to a quiet space in the lobby. "What are you thinking? ARE you even thinking? Do you KNOW how to THINK?"

Kendall stared at her in disbelief. "What are you on about?", he asked confused.
"I'm talking about what you are doing to Logan! You remember, your BOYFRIEND!"
"Well, what about him?"
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? He just came up to me and confessed that he is scared that he is losing you after that he cried himself to sleep so he is actually sleeping in my living-room right now and you are asking what I am talking about? Geez, Kendall, seriously! I thought better of you. Some boyfriend you are!"
"I...I...I don't know. I...I never wanted to hurt him. I-I'm falling in love with Jo, I guess, which I never wanted to happen in the first place. And I just...I can't get myself to tell him, Camille. I love him. I love him so much but when I tell him about my feelings for Jo, he will leave me and I won't be able to handle him breaking up with me. Plus, the band would fall apart and that would kill James." It was the first time in months that Kendall actually spoke what was on his mind so it was only worse that Logan was standing only 3 feet away from him and Camille and heard everything Kendall said.
"You're right, you know? I am in fact breaking up with you!"
Kendall flinched when he heard Logan's voice and turned to look at him. "Logan..."
"No. Don't Logan me. It's over Kendall and I never wanna talk to you again. If you can ignore me then so can I. Be happy with Jo. I'm done with you." Logan turned on his heels and left the lobby again unaware of the fact that Kendall started crying looking helplessly at Camille.
"Help me", he choked out before he fell to his knees.
Camille got down to kneel next to him on the floor, Kendall now sobbing uncontrollably. "Look, Kendall, I'm sorry, but you messed up, big time."
"Not...helping...Camille", Kendall managed to choke out between sobs.
"I don't know what to say. I mean, if you really love him...I guess you have to break up with Jo. You have to decide. It's either Jo or Logan. You can't keep dating both. You'll only end up hurting Logan more than you'd ever want to, not to mention how much you're hurting yourself."
Kendall looked at her while wiping away his tears. "I know. I know you're right but I...I..."
"No 'Buts', Kendall. Like I said. If you really loved him you'd break up with Jo."
"Of course, I really love him. I...I gotta go. Thanks Camille." With that Kendall got up and walked into the same direction as Logan did.
It didn't take him long to find Logan. He was sitting under a tree in Palmwood's park and Kendall noticed from about a yard away that Logan was crying. Kendall slowly approached him and sat down next to him. "Logie", he said, looking at him softly.
"You used to love me, you used to hug me. But that wasn't the case, everything wasn't ok."
Kendall recognized those lyrics. Logan just recited ''Losing Grip'' by Avril Lavigne and right now, Kendall was getting really desperate. "Loges, come one, please, talk to me. I can't lose you. I love you so much. I just can't...I couldn't...Please."
Logan looked at him. "Have you been crying? Not that I care though because apparently you don't care about me either."
Kendall tried to put his hand on Logan's cheek but Logan slapped it away. "Logan, please. Just...I need you. I need you so much. Please, don't leave me. Please. I know I made a mistake and I know I hurt you. I thought I wouldn't hurt you, I tried to protect you, because you mean everything to me, but I hurt you in probably the worst way I could. Look, I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to fall in love with Jo. I might be in love with Jo but I love you! I can live without Jo but I can't live without you. I'm gonna break up with Jo today and I will tell everyone that I am gay. I want us to be okay."
All this time while Kendall was talking, Logan didn't so much as look at him. But now he actually did look at him. "I don't know if I can forgive you." Logan tried to stay strong, he didn't want to give in, he wanted Kendall to suffer just as much as he himself suffered but as he saw the tears that were streaming down Kendall's face, Logan couldn't stay strong and he pulled him into a hug. "You're really gonna break up with Jo and tell everyone that you are gay?"
Kendall nodded. "I will if you want me to."
"NO!", Logan said firmly. "You are NOT gonna come out! I could never ask you to do that. Neither can I ask you to break up with Jo."
"I'm not asking you to ask me to break up with Jo. I just will", Kendall replied softly, smiling at Logan.
Logan pulled away from Kendall and took his hand into his own. "Kendall? Are you really gonna break up with her?"
"Look, I'll call her now and tell her that we need to talk, okay?"
Logan nodded and Kendall took out his phone, pressed a few keys and called Jo.
After finishing, Kendall said "She will be here in 15 minutes. Do you wanna stay or..."
"No. No, it's fine. I'm gonna go back to 2J and wait there for you."
"Okay. See you in a few."
Logan nodded, got up and walked away. But still being jealous as he was, he didn't go too far away but hid behind a tree where he still was able to hear what Kendall and Jo talked.
When Jo arrived, Kendall pulled her into a hug and kissed her. Logan was feeling as though someone was ripping his heart out.
"What did you need to talk about?", he heard Jo asking.
"Actually...Nothing. I just wanted to see you. I missed you."
Logan couldn't stand it any longer. He turned on his heels and ran back to 2J. Later that day, Kendall would tell him he broke up with Jo. Logan just couldn't believe it.

Hey Guys, I got the idea to this oneshot when I was listening to Avril Lavigne about 5 nights in a row. It is loosely based on Avril's ''LosingGrip''. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. And before you ask, Yes, there might be a sequel.
Can I ask you guys a HUGE favour? Could you go and check out my oneshot ''Baby, it's a crush'', please, and tell me what you think? That'd be amazing.
*leaves cookies and milk* Byeeeee