Lepers, Clues and Nottingham
Bob is a guard at Nottingham castle and has something to say about his boss. Spoilers- I'm afraid. Set somewhere between S3 E6 and S3 E8.
Disclaimer- I don't own the Sheriff, Isabella, Gisbourne, Robin or anyone else for that matter. All I own is the voices in my head and a tendency to be a bit over obsessed… (See fic 'You Know You're Obsessed With Robin Hood' for further details). I also don't own 'candle in the wind' or the lines from Hamlet or anything else I have mentioned in this…
A/N- this is written in response to the lack of people writing about the death of the one and only Vasey. I think we're all of the opinion that he will come back (and I'm going to look really stupid when he does- I'm pretty darn sure he will) However; recent revelations and rumours that Mr Allan will not be coming back (amongst other characters- please don't check this, just take my word. YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHO IS LEAVING) have sparked me off writing this. Besides, I couldn't sleep..!
By the way, I forgot to mention; when Gisbourne said 'the Sheriff is dead' he actually meant it. No it wasn't one of his half true statements (lord knows we've heard a few) he is actually dead. Knife in the side and everything! It would appear that Guy actually waited for him to stop breathing, unlike leaving Hood and that Isabella girl to drown and inevitably escape. Goodness me that knight has no idea how to kill properly. But I suppose he got it right this time…
That's it. Vasey's dead. With no hope of rising form the grave, no Lady Marian style revivals. I saw the body myself!
Yes all right, I saw his hand twitch but- have you ever seen a chicken have it's head cut off. I swear to god the body still moves for ages after. It works the same with a human. When we beheaded the Earl of Cantrememberwhereitwas his lips still moved afterwards. The superstitious peasants and most of the guards where terrified that he was putting a curse on us. Vasey just laughed.
The point is; yes his hand twitched but so what? I checked and double-checked and believe me, the Sheriff was well and truly dead. Yet, no one seems to miss him as much as I though they would. The funeral was a quiet (hardly existent) affair. Even Robin Hood, his arch-nemesis, couldn't find time to fit in an appearance.
Though you'd think he'd want to double check that Vasey made it into the ground. But no, Vasey- the man we all loved to hate, the devil incarnate and King Richard's would-be-murder had left us without so much as a measly goodbye. Come on! We all expected it to be more dramatic than that! He certainly wasn't quiet in life so why should he be in death?
And there's no point in looking at me like that, I know I'm not the only one who misses him. Sure he had his moments, but don't we all? Yes, he hardly ever paid us on time (actually, I don't think he paid us at all), he yelled at us, never encouraged us. He treated us like dirt, made us risk our lives every day and was continually telling us we where incompetent when really we were all trying our best! He called us all Bob for the sake of it (*sniff*- I never got the chance to tell him that my really is Bob) but we're worse off without him...
When Gisbourne can only manage to hold onto the post for half a day you really understand how hard the job actually is. With Vasey gone the whole world had fallen apart. Gisbourne is an outlaw (so effectively on the same side as Hood- never thought I would say that!), and his sister is sheriff. Now, Isabella's pretty and all that but my goodness- she has a heart as black as coal and a soul to match. Yup, I heard that 'I-had-a-dream-about-us-we-had-children' yarn she was pulling poor Robin on. And it's a cheap shot I can tell you.
The problem is that, yes Vasey may have been continually waltzing over the line but at least he knew it was there! This Isabella lass has absolutely no morals and we are going to suffer for it!
So, goodbye Vasey, I knew thee well (better then I wanted to actually). I will miss your comic quips and your less than orthodox dress sense. I shall miss your good advice and I shall miss your better schemes. I'll miss hating your guts and I'll miss getting up at three in the morning to clip your toenails. You where a candle in the wind, as a wise man with a piano once said- you never knew who to cling to, because you alienated (or killed) anyone close to you.
Goodnight sweet sheriff and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest (in hell). You quietly slipped away from us, and for one so loud in life that's quite an achievement…
Farewell Vasey, I'll see you in hell. Send my regards to the devil; lord knows you'll be meeting him soon...
A/N now, naturally what's going to happen is next episode, Vasey will come back to life, kill Isabella (I wish) and everything will be back to normal. But like I said- this is just in case.
So was this mad, bad or ugly. One way to let me know…