Disclaimer : I own nothing, all rights belong to makers, actors etc

Warnings : Slash, Kirk/McCoy

AN1 : First attempt at a Kirk/McCoy story, inspired by the song Jordin Sparks - Battlefield, which i highly suggest listening to as it greatly influences this story and the mood created in the song will help with envisioning the story.

AN2 : Un'Beta'd, if anyone wants to Beta this story for me then drop me a line :)

AN3 : Cross-posted on LJ at the Kirk_McCoy community if it looks familiar to you.


One minute, it's love
And, suddenly, it's like a battlefield
One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down

Back when Jim was just a Cadet at the Academy (was it really only six months ago?) nearly every venture out ended in some variation of a fist fight. Returning from some seedy bar with a few fresh bruises and a split lip was just par for the course. People tended to expect it, Bones came to accept it. In the early days of their friendship Bones had tried to reign the young man in, he had learned pretty fast that it was better to just go along with things. It certainly made life a heck of a lot more simple.

Becoming the Captain of a Starship was anything but simple. It was no longer just his own well being that he had to be concerned with, but the well being of an entire crew. For the most part the fights stopped, he really didn't think that away missions counted, even if fifty percent of the time the fights were his fault. If that meant hat Jim went to Bones for medical assistance any less then that was just wishful thinking. Still, Bones would rather mend a phaser burn knowing it came from a mission gone south, then a glass filled head wound because of a bar fight any day.

Jim would like to think that it was his promotion that had levelled his head, that his position as Captain had matured him, but he knew that it was something else. Well, someone else. Considering they had been pretty much a constant factor during his Academy years, Jim shouldn't of been as surprised as he was to find that he was changing his behaviour because of Bones.

Sure, Bones had never really liked his 'hit first, ask later' attitude ever since they started keeping company, he had never made any secret of that fact either, but it had never been enough to prompt him to change. Until they had started serving on the Enterprise together. It had been small at first, Jim curbing his tongue when Bones gave him that 'don't be an arrogant ass' look, but soon it didn't even matter if Bones was even there. Just the knowledge that the man might find out caused him to rethink his words before he said them, unclench his fist before he threw the first punch.

It took Jim many weeks and countless encounters before he could work out why in the hell he suddenly gave a heck how he had always behaved. It hit him like a brick to the stomach, a large brick, considering he was realising that he had the smallest of crushes on his CMO. Who was he kidding, he had a huge crush on Bones! He guessed this must be what prompted the other sudden change in his behaviour and really, he couldn't believe he had never noticed how odd it was before now. His interest in girls had severely dropped, to the point that he didn't think he'd tried to pick someone up in weeks. Sure, he could still appreciate when a fine woman walked past him, but he no longer felt the urge to pursue them. It was scary to say the very least.

Thing only started getting worse from there, his crush turning into a full out longing whenever he was in distance of the man. His skin would heat up at every small brush of contact, his mood brighten whenever they were together. It was disconcerting, the feelings strange to Jim. He had been with plenty of people, but he had never felt such strong feelings to someone before, let alone someone he considered his best friend.

Three months. That number was important for two very different reasons. It was three months before Jim caved and cornered Bones in the medical bay, his mouth rushing ahead of his brain and surging forwards to kiss the man, since Bones had responded to that kiss with equal fever, mouth claiming and mapping. It took three months for the moment to come, the moment when neither could hide and had to face what was going on. Jim found out that day that he wasn't alone in what he had been feeling, that every desire and fear was reflected back at him from Bones.

Three months was how long they had worked at their relationship, learning, growing, falling into a strange but exciting new routine.

Three months was how long it was before Jim made the biggest mistake of his life.

Three months until Jim ruined the best thing in his life (second to the Enterprise) with one, stupid, drunken accident.

So i know this is short, but i felt i needed to write this little bit before i could actually get into the story, the next chapters will be longer, have actual speech etc, just needed this background first :) hehe and i have a small smut scene written into the next chap already which is a feat for me, i avoid smut, but somehow it started writing itself (though don't expect anything long or amazing from me lol)

Oh yeah, review please??