Batman, Superman, and all other members of the Justice League are property of DC Comics, not me. But I do like to torture them! ;)

****

"The reason I'm doing it is because I have superspeed and can type it in at the rate of around 100,000 words per minute," Superman said patiently.

"It is my job to input data during this shift," Batman's grip tightened on his stack of papers.

"I realize that, but don't you agree that it would be more productive for me to do it?"

Suddenly the papers were swept from Batman's hand. There was a quick flurry of clacking keys.

"There," Superman said. "All done."

It took all of Batman's self-control not to try and punch a hole through the other man's skull. He'd only break his hand. "Well, since you're so good at that, I trust you can take care of the rest of the monitor duties, too."

He stormed out of the room, cape billowing behind him.

"What's gotten into him?" Superman muttered as he watched his friend leave.

*****

Batman went to the training room to hit some robots. Real people would have been better, but it was still daytime in Gotham City. He was just about to configure the holograms to look like Clark when Diana walked up.

"Hey," she said. Her cheerful voice grated on his nerves. "Can I join you?"

Does it LOOK like I am in the mood for your company? "Actually, n-,"

"Great!" Diana said, and pulled him into the room.

The holodeck took the form of the inside of a very large warehouse. Members of different versions of the Secret Society--Cobra, Shade, Cheetah, Metallo, among others--appeared.

Batman went for the Shade and began beating the hell out of the hologram. Shade crumpled and vanished after the fourth blow. Cheetah leapt up the walls and perched on a rafter above. Batman quickly scanned the building, analyzing the best route for getting up to her. He jumped onto the first flight of stairs.

Diana flew past him a knocked Cheetah out. "I got her!"

"Yes, you certainly do," Batman said under his breath, and slipped from the training room, cursing superpowers.

***

He went to a soda vending machine and put in a few quarters, looking for something nice and caffienated. He usually didn't drink the crap--coffee had more nutritional value, but it had just been one of those days. He decided he deserved sugar.

He pulled out the cold can and pulled tab. He was going to take a sip, when…

Zoom! Flash and Supergirl barreled into him simultaneously. The drink went flying, dousing him with sticky liquid.

"Oops," Flash said. "Sorry, Bats. We were having a race."

"Well," Batman said through gritted teeth. Soda dripped down his neck . "If you're fast enough to do laps around the Watchtower, dontcha think that maybe you're fast enough to have caught that before it Spilled. All. Over. Me?!"

"Sorry," Flash said again, and he and Supergirl raced off before Batman could exact his revenge.

He took a moment to calm down before going to his quarters to change costumes and take a shower.

***

He hadn't even turned on the water when the announcement blared over his comlink.

"Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Martian Manhunter, and Green Lantern, please report to the teleporter pad for transport to Metropolis. Level 6 mission."

Batman swore. Couldn't he just take a shower without some meta-wacko interfering?

He jumped into a clean costume and stormed down to the teleporter pad.

"You look like a ray of sunshine," GL remarked mildly when he saw him coming.

Batman glared. Usually he could tolerate Green Lantern more than the others. GL kept is distance. Most of the time.

Superman leaned in a little and said as quietly as possible to the others, "He's a bit cranky today."

Batman still heard.

Before he could growl his comeback, blue light flared around them. They materialized not in Times Square, but instead in…jail cells?

"Gotcha," Lex Luthor said dryly.

Batman groaned.