Behind a Mask
Sakura POV
Did you know me that well...?
No one knows me that well...
No one bothered to see beyond my fake smiles, my fake laughter.
I want to live life with no worries, with nothing to care and love, with no one to bother me or hurt my feelings. I just wanted to be alone, but at the same time I'm afraid of being alone. I don't know why I'm like this or why I'm so pessimistic and full of negative things. I often ask myself why I keep on hiding behind a false mask.
Well, I think the reason is I'm afraid of what people would think of me if I loose it. If I do show my true self will they shun me, will they judge me like the last time I had the courage to loose it. Will they understand me and will still be there for me. I hope that someday someone will be able to break my mask and see me for who I am. I wish that it will be soon because I don't know if I can hold on to life for much longer because slowly I'm fading away. I'm breaking inside though no one notices it because they are convinced that I am okay because of my mask.
No one bothered...
No one cares...
No one wishes to see...
My true self...
I cry myself to sleep at night...
I tried to kill myself but I always fail...
If this keep up no one will be able to know who I really am...
The first time he left I couldn't bear the pain and the second time he left I felt empty and hollow inside. This resulted in me hiding myself behind a mask. It's his entire fault why can't he see that I loved him so much that I will do anything for him. Why did he have to die? He promised me that he will be there always.
He's stupid, idiot, and dim, thick, dense, brainless, and dim-witted and unintelligent. He left me just like that. All his proclamation of love is just all lies just to see me hurt.
Okay, fine I know it's not his fault but I don't know who to blame anymore.
My friends at first are worried about me but when they saw that I wasn't crying they all assumed that I was alright. They never saw through me, they even thought that my smiles are all real even my laughter.
My parents are long gone; they're both in heaven now. They were killed when I was fifteen years old; I was not there to protect them. I blamed myself for there death and I was feeling so alone at that time. In that exact time he came back Sasuke came back. I remember him comforting me and saying soothing things in my ears at first I couldn't believe that he was real. He was there holding me like a fragile doll he even confessed his true feelings for me around that time. I felt happy and that's all because of him.
The day he died is the day I started to put on a mask.
How did he die?
He came back to Konoha all battered and bruised. He just killed Orochimaru and he decided to go back to us. Sasuke hasn't been able to go after Itachi just yet because his main objective is to return to us, to me. He wanted to claim me first before he will hunt down that bastard brother of his. That's just what he did, after a month of us being together he left to kill his brother once and for all. He promised me that he will come back alive but he wasn't able to. Itachi and Sasuke both died at the same time, along with there death a part of me died. They were the last Uchiha's; the sharingan is forever gone as well.
That was the end of my happiness. He's gone, gone forever.
No one knows how I feel….
No one will ever see beyond my mask….
I hate myself….
I just want to vanish…..
All this time I've longed for eternal rest….
A/N: this is somewhat based on what happened to me… I can't believe that all his declaration of love is all a lie….I want to kill him but I love him too much to ever attempt on doing that task…. I hope that someday I will be able to forget this pain….Sometimes I just want to die…but I won't kill myself because of him… He picked his ex girlfriend over me… damn it…. Both of them can go to hell for all I care…