Polar Bears Up North
Summary: Canada has been noticing a strange polar bear wherever he went. Could it be following him? Maybe it's one of Kumajiro's friend? He didn't think much of it until he was half naked and bent over his bed by said polar bear.
AN: My first fanfic and I don't think it turned out so well. But I'll let the readers be the judge.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the game I made a small reference to in the story.
Warning: I had The Delicious Tomato Song stuck in my head while editing, so there may be various 'tomato's and 'buono's in the story. A lot of dry humour as well.
Chapter 1: Polar Bear Stalker
Canada sighed and started to jot down some notes. But there really wasn't much to take note of seeing as another argument broke out between England and France. They were in the middle of another World Meeting, which was hosted in Canada this time. But like almost all meetings, nothing was really accomplished.
Canada had attempted to take charge, seeing as he was hosting the whole thing but no one even noticed he was there. And even if they did, he spoke so quietly, barely above a whisper, that he could not have been heard over the other noisy nations.
Kumajiro was at Canada's foot, pawing at his pants. "Hungry," he said.
Canada looked down at his polar bear with an apologetic look. "Sorry, Kumasaburo, but you'll have to wait until after the meeting," he told him.
"Who?"
A light frown crossed his features before he automatically responded with an exasperated "Canada".
"Oh," was his response. He went back to pawing Canada's pant leg. "Hungry," he repeated.
Canada petted Kumajiro and looked back up. He caught Russia looking at him with his usual creepy smile, which was both surprising and scary. There was something about the way he was looking at him that was really unsettling but Canada was too scared to look too much into it. He hoped that Russia was only looking in his direction and not actually at him.
Germany slammed his fist loudly on the table, immediately getting everyone's attention. "Will you all shut up already!" he shouted. "How do you expect us to get anything done around here when everyone is bickering!"
Ignoring the angry German, America piped in, "Well, let's just go with my idea and everything will be fine! I'm the hero, so let's ma-"
"Quiet, America!" interrupted Germany. He was fed up with America throwing in his crazy and outrageous ideas. It would either be too outlandish to work or actually make things worse. He sighed. "It looks like the meeting is almost over anyways so let's call for an early dismissal."
Everyone nodded their agreement. America was the first one out, saying something about burgers and dashing out of the room, leaving behind a cloud of dust. The other nations slowly filed out of the conference room.
England grimaced. "That git should really watch what he eats. It's not good for him. If he had stuck to my food, this wouldn't be an issue," he huffed.
Beside him stood France, who couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, Angleterre, I thought you were worried about him, not trying to kill him."
"You bloody frog, that's not what I meant! Why would I be worried about that idiot!" He hit France hard on the head. "And stop insulting my food!" He continued to hit France.
Taking none of that, France retaliated. "Your food is terrible and I'm sure the rest of the world will agree with me," he said mockingly.
Another quarrel between the two nations ensued but no one payed any mind; it was normal. Eventually, they managed to drag the fight outside of the room. Now there was only a few nations in the room, Canada being one of them.
As he got up to leave, he heard a faint sound. He looked around, slightly nervous because he had an idea on where it was coming from. He glanced to Russia, who was emitting an eerie aura and was 'kol'ing quietly. He was still looking at Canada. Trying his best not to run out of the room without looking back, Canada calmly picked up Kumajiro and walked out if the room. It was only when he was out of the building did he start running like hell.
After feeding Kumajiro and finishing up some of his house chores, Canada decided to walk around the city. There was a new ice cream parlour that opened in downtown and he wanted to check it out. Kumajiro would usually stay at home, napping or raiding his fridge, but he decided to come along because he wanted some ice cream. Although Canada was hesitant to give his bear some ice cream, which didn't sound like a good idea, he promised to get him plenty of fish to make up for the ice cream. Kumajiro agreed since food was food. He was dozing off in his master's arms as Canada was walking down the streets.
The streets were bustling, seeing as it was still early in the evening. No one took notice of the polar bear he was carrying, probably assuming it was a stuffed bear. He smiled when he spotted the ice cream parlour and made his way inside. There were already several people seated at the tables and booths, enjoying their frozen desserts and few standing in line. Quickly getting to the back of the line, he started to rock back and forth on his heels and toes, trying to hide his smile. He loved ice cream and after finding out that the new ice cream parlour served maple flavoured ice cream, he was absolutely ecstatic. It was a combination of two of his most favourite food!
It was finally his turn to order and he enthusiastically got a large serving of maple ice cream. He took a seat in a booth beside the windows and gently sat his sleeping polar bear beside him before taking a seat himself. He took a spoonful of it into his mouth and sighed blissfully. It was heavenly. He pondered the idea of having maple ice cream with pancakes and maple syrup, of course.
He was enjoying his ice cream when he started to feel a slight chill. It wasn't the pleasant chill of enjoying a cold treat or the annoying, painful buzz of a brain freeze. It was a chill that almost made your blood freeze and want to run for your life. He looked up from his ice cream and looked around the shop. Everyone was talking to their friends and eating their ice cream, minding their own business. Sighing in relief, he went back to eating, randomly glancing outside the windows.
His eyes widened in surprise but it was quickly replaced with a look of confusion as he raised a brow. Hiding behind a tree was what appeared to a rather large polar bear. There was something white hanging loosely around its neck. A scarf? Obviously it was not doing a good job of hiding, seeing as Canada was easily able to spot it. He made contact with it's beady black eyes and the polar bear ducked behind the trees, completely out of sight.
That was truly strange. For some reason, he suddenly remembered seeing something like that yesterday when he was having lunch with his family. He had assumed it was just someone with a large white furry coat walking by. Maybe it was a polar bear? But why would a polar bear, besides Kumajiro, be doing in an urban city?
Canada didn't realize he was staring at the spot where the large polar bear was, thinking. He didn't even notice when Kumajiro had woken up and edged towards his bowl of ice cream. Deciding it was just his overactive imagination, he turned back to his ice cream to finish eating it. He was surprised to find it empty and thought he must have already finished it without noticing. He didn't notice Kumajiro licking some ice cream off of his fur.
As promised, Canada headed to the store to buy some fish for Kumajiro. By now, the streets were much more quiet, most people already heading home for dinner. It made it much easier to spot an individual. Particularly, a large polar bear attempting to hide behind a bush. Canada was sure it was the same polar bear before. Was it following him? Maybe it was someone Kumajiro knew? He decided to ask his bear.
"Kumachiko?"
"Who?" said Kumajiro, looking up at his master.
"I'm Canada," he replied. "Hey, do you know who that polar bear is over there," he asked, nodding in the right direction.
"Oh." he glanced over to where Canada was gesturing at a tall polar bear behind a bush. "Don't know," was his curt reply. "Not a bear." He paused before adding, "creeper".
Canada furrowed his brows in confusion. "So you don't know." He looked over again. "I'm sure it's a bear. What else could it be?"
Kumajiro didn't reply, having fallen asleep again. Canada sighed and patted his head gently. "I was also going to ask what kind of fish you wanted as well..."
The sun was setting, alighting the sky in a soft orange and pink glow. Canada had found himself wandering in the park, enjoying the peace of the late evening. Kumajiro began to stir in his arms, giving a big yawn.
"Hungry."
"Yes, yes. You can eat when we get home," he responded, tiredly. "I'd like to rest for a bit, first," he said, taking a seat on a park bench. Kumajiro crawled out of his lap and onto the bench. Leaning back, Canada took a deep breath. He heard rustling and turned to Kumajiro, who was sniffing a bouquet of flowers and pawing at it.
"What do you have there?" he asked. Kumajiro made a move to eat the flowers but Canada quickly went to stop him. "No, don't eat those," he scolded. He picked up the bouquet and examined the flowers. They were a bouquet of sunflowers, pastel pink wrapping tied together with a red ribbon and a little card, likely a gift for a loved one. But judging from the abandoned bouquet and crushed chocolate heart box nearby, things didn't go well.
"It would be such a waste to let these poor things die," he mused, looking at the sunflowers flowers that were starting to look a little droopy. "I can't do anything about the chocolates but I could probably bring these home and put them in a vase."
Being the good Canadian citizen he was, Canada went over to throw out the crushed chocolates, gasping when he saw Kumajiro eating them.
"Kumashiki! Stop!" he exclaimed, pulling the bear away from the chocolates and swiftly tossing them into the trash before he could get to them again.
Kumajiro mumbled something before promptly falling asleep again. He shook his head in disbelief and amusement, used to Kumajiro's behaviour. With his bear in one arm, and the other holding a bag of fish and the bouquet, he got up. He almost fell over, not noticing the bush beside him. Was it there the whole time? It didn't matter. He had to get home before dark. But more importantly, he had to feed Kumajiro before he decided to eat something else again.
The World Meeting started off well. As always, Germany had taken charge, trying to ensure an organized and efficient meeting. It was expected that England and France would start a fight, causing everyone else to start arguing and chaos ensuing. But that didn't happen.
England was sitting rather quietly, a smirk on his lips. Today, he was wearing his old pirate outfit; a tricorn atop his head, a long brown coat, long buckled boots and even a long sword to finish off the look. There was a mischievous but dangerous gleam in his eyes that sent Spain cowering behind Romano. But that wasn't what was surprising.
The disturbing part was France, who was sitting beside England, looked dead tired and slightly terrified. Everyone likely drew the same conclusion, looking at the smug pirate and exhausted Frenchman. No one was going to say anything about it but America being, well, America, had to say something.
"What happened to you, two?" he said loudly. "Oh, and Iggy, I didn't know you still had that," he commented, pointing to the Englishman's attire.
The smirk on England's face turned into a scowl. He jumped on the table and pulled out his sword, raising it in front of America's face. "That be Captain Kirkland to ye, scally-wag!"
Ignoring the danger he was in, he held back the tip of the blade with his index finger. "You mad, Iggy? And I have no idea what you just said."
With an angry growl, he swiped his sword across and held it against America's Nantucket. America withdrew his finger with a yelp. There was a small cut on his finger from the sword. "Dude! What the hell? That really hurt," he whined, sucking on his finger and pouting. "Anyone got a bandage?" He asked, treating the injury like a paper cut.
England tried to take another swipe but America was smart enough to dodge it this time. "Ye be taking this to lightly. It shall be the death of ye," he said threateningly, baring his teeth. He raised his sword again and began to attack America.
America jumped out of his chair and took a running head start. Getting really angry, Germany shouted for them to stop but of course, they didn't listen. England was chasing America around the room, slashing away with no concern to what, or who, he was hitting. Chaos engulfed the conference room once again. Canada thought about trying to calm everyone but he knew he would have been ignore and right now, he really didn't want to be mistaken for America.
Quietly, he scooted over beside France. "Francis?" he asked in his usual quiet voice. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, Matthieu!" he said, brightening up a bit. "I did not know you were here. How are you?"
'I was here the whole time, dammit!' he wanted to say but being the polite nation he was, he refrained from doing so. "I'm fine, Francis. Are you feeling okay? You don't look too well. Does this have anything to do with Arthur?"
France's eyes widened in fear. "Mon Dieu! Do not talk about him," he whispered to Canada, covering his mouth with a hand. "You do not know what he is capable in this state!"
Canada pushed France's hand away. "What do you mean?" He frowned, thinking. "You have something to do with this, don't you? What did you do?"
Sighing warily, France put his head in his hands. "Crisse, I didn't think he would react that way. We were arguing and I said..."
"What did you say?"
"Well, I insulted his cooking,of course," he said, shrugging. "And his imaginary friends."
Canada frowned. "Francis, you know how sensitive he is about his cooking and his mystical friends."
"I know. But that's not what made him so angry," France stated. "I..." he stopped, thinking over what he should say. "I said he wasn't much of a pirate back then."
Canada gasped. "You made fun of- Why would you say that," he whispered back harshly.
"We were arguing and he was insulting my Gorges du Tarn!" he complained, rubbing his chin. "I didn't think he would react in such a way."
Canada sighed. "Well, since it is sort of your fault, you should try to fix it. Try talking to him-"
"Non!" France immediately protested, hitting his hands on the table. "He is like a man possessed. There is no reasoning with him. The things he did to me..." France trailed off, holding himself and shaking like a leaf.
Feeling it was rather a delicate subject, Canada blushed but knew he should press on. "Francis, I know it's really tough but you have to realize that Arthur isn't exactly himself." He paused, finding it really awkward. The last thing he wanted was to further upset the man by his insensitive words. "I-I know you've gone through far worse things. You can definitely get through this. And you know better than anyone how Arthur is. You know he didn't mean to hurt you like that, to take advantage of you..." he trailed off, noticing the confusion on France's face.
"Quoi?" Then realization dawned on his face and he laughed. "Oh, non! The sex was great! You do not have to worry about that. It was what he made me do after that was horrible," he said, shivering at the thought.
"What? Then what did he do to you?"
France opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the loud breaking of a chair. Arthur's sword was stuck in the table, abandoned and he was now throwing several projectiles at America.
"When I get ye, you'll be walking the plank," England angrily spat out, pointing to the side. Yes, there was definitely a plank. There was a huge gaping hole where a window was supposed to be, a large long wooden board attached to the bottom edge. The room was on the twelfth floor so obviously, the plank was a bad idea. How no one noticed it when they walked in was a mystery.
"What the-? Why did you do this, Arthur?" Canada was freaking out, since England had destroyed Canadian property. His boss was not going to be happy.
Ignoring the spazzing nation, England kept on attacking America. He finally was able to corner the American onto the plank. That's only happened because America got distracted and was not paying attention to where he was going.
"What the hamburgers?" exclaimed America, looking down at the busy street below. He turned back his attention to England, who had grabbed his sword and was directing it at him. Slowly, he began to step back. "Yo, Iggy. Chill. Let's just calm dine and talk things over..." he said slowly. It was rather ironic, coming from him.
Grinning evilly, England pushed forward, forcing America back. He stopped short when America was at the edge. "Looks like you'll finally get what is coming to ye." He raised his sword, ready to strike.
At first, a look of fear crossed America's features but a cocky grin replaced it. He laughed obnoxiously, causing England to frown in bemusement and confusion. "You can't beat me! The hero always wins." With that bold proclamation, he jumped off the plank, plummeting into the streets below.
Everyone was shocked. Sure, they knew America was crazy and stupid, but they didn't think he was that nuts. Of course, they knew he wouldn't die from the fall but he'd be seriously injured.
A ping sound resonated in the air. No one thought much of it until they heard something like a blow torch. America came barrelling through the sky, a jet pack on his back. After struggling with the controls, he hovered near the building and laughed again. "You can't beat me, Iggy! I know every spawn cheat there is!" He pointed a finger at England, challenging him. "Don't make me drop a tank on yo ass!"
Not saying a word, England pulled out a gun and aimed at America. Unfortunately for him, he missed. Taking that as a warning shot, America stuck out his tongue at the pirate and flew off into the sky, laughing all the way.
It was quiet for a moment after America left. Slowly, England lowered his gun, putting it away and walking back into the room. Some of the nations had left, fearing for their lives. Surprisingly, this was actually pretty normal for the meetings. Crazier things have happened.
Canada looked around the room. Some of the chairs were scattered haphazardly around the room, half broken. A few of the nations had minor injuries from England's barrage of attacks. And of course there was the torn window and a hole in the wall.
He looked pleadingly to France. "Please do something, Francis. Before he does anything else!"
Francis shook his head. "Je suis désolé. But what can I d-"
England brought down his sword on the table in front of France. "What did I say about speaking in that cursed tongue of yours?" he asked coldly.
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, Angleterre-" he stopped, his eyes wide as he realized his mistake.
"It looks like you haven't learned your lesson yet," he whispered darkly into the Frenchman's ear. He roughly grabbed him by the collar, and lifted him out of his seat. "I'm sure you'll enjoy the new toys I got." England gently prodded his chest with the tip of his sword. "I also have a new scone recipe that you'll be dying to try out."
Francis was too afraid to say anything, probably imaging the torture England had in store for him. England laughed evilly, pulling Francis out of the room. Canada would have tried to help but it was either him or France. So he kept quiet for his own safety.
By now, the group of nations had quieted down. No one said a word a the meeting came to an end. They slowly trickled out. Canada stayed, surveying the damage to the room.
He had assumed that everyone else had already left. He jumped when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder. Slowly, he turned his head to see the eerie smile of Russia.
"Hello," greeted Russia. "How are you, comrade?" he asked, applying a light squeeze to Canada's shoulder.
Canada inwardly shuddered. "H-hello, Russia. I'm fine. And how are you?"
"That is good to hear. I'm actually doing fine myself." He glanced at the damage and then looked Canada directly in the eyes. It was unnerving. "It seems the meeting has done some damage to your building. I will stay behind and help fix it up, Да."
"Oh no, you don't have to help," quickly declined Canada. "You didn't do any of the damage so..." he stopped, noticing that Russia seemed to be looming over him.
"Ah, you are mistaken. I wasn't asking, I was telling you," he said cheerfully.
"A-alright then." It was usually a bad idea to go against Russia.
"That is good. So I will see you tomorrow then, Да?" He didn't wait for Canada to answer before turning towards the door.
Suddenly he swerved around to face the other. "Who are you again?" he asked.
Canada let a out a quiet sigh. Unbelievable. "I'm Canada."
"Ah, I see." he gave him a smile. It wasn't one of his secretly malicious smiles but Canada couldn't quite place. He turned back and gave a wave before exiting the room.
It was perplexing how Russia was willing to help him, yet forgot who he was. No one could quite understand how Russia worked. Obviously, he was up to something. Russia was never really the caring, charitable type. But what he wanted from Canada, he didn't know. Still, it wouldn't hurt to give the nation a chance. What harm could it do?
I'm not completely sure why I posted this now... Anyways, if anyone got the jetpack reference, good for you. Hopefully you're not an impressionable kid playing those games. As for pirate!England, I just couldn't resist. It was either that or a rather boring chapter. But that probably would have saved you from my lame humour, ne? There will be a second chapter and that's when the polar bear(?) finally makes a move. Heheh. I haven't included who the polar bear is so it can be a surprise. Although if you haven't gotten the hints I've dropped, then I have failed as a writer.