Hello, this is my first fan-fiction. You should give feedback or else I may lose the desire to continue it. So if you like it, give feedback. (ok?)

I updated a little after re-reading it. I'll update more if I get any reviews.

It is rated for Yaoi themes (I don't think I have courage for any lemons) and some language. (How can you have a story like this without swearing?)

Very basic summary: Romance triangle between Matt, Mello, and Near. Corny I know- but it's fan fiction. Isn't that what it is suppose to be? Fluffy-Angst stuff, I'll try to add some action- but chances are it will be quite lame. I do have a twist at the end that I'm quite happy with.

And do I really need to do a disclaimer?

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"...There..." I breathed as I hit the enter key.

I always speak to myself when I am in an empty room, especially when I am hacking. I guess it makes my head a little less chaotic. I'm third in a school of geniuses; it tends to cause one to think too much. It causes other malfunctions too. Like the inability to like the one you love or love the one who loves you.

An hour ago they (Mello and Near) were called into Roger's Office, no reasons specified. For once Mello hadn't been causing any chaos, and, of course, Near never made any trouble. Or at least, he never broke any of Wammy's rules.

Mello isn't speaking to me, and Near would tell me I wasn't qualified to know. My hand taps impatiently, waiting for my program to slip past the security. I am quite familiar with Wammy's security, even though they upgrade it every time I break into it. I suppose they think they are challenging me. They know us too well here. I wouldn't bother, most of the time, if it weren't for the challenge. People think I mindlessly play the same game over and over again, but I'm not one of those gamers. Actually, each time I get a game- I only play the original once (if that). Why replay when you get it perfectly the first time? I'm always re-programming the games, making it near impossible to beat. It makes it more interesting that way.

I re-adjusted the goggles on my head. "I don't have the patience to wait until after their little meeting, anyways. I'd much rather see it with my own eyes." The thought vaguely reminded me of an odd story about grapes. Too bad it wasn't video games. I probably would have paid attention to the story if it was about a game.

The loading bar on the screen was quickly replaced by streaming videos from all the security cameras in Wammy's. No additional hacking required my program just mimicked my actions from last time. "They never upgraded the security." Odd, almost like they wanted me to break through.

All the videos slipped instantly into the task bar with a single function- except one room. In the center of the room was a large table, surrounded by too many books. The door on the side swung open. The camera was placed perfectly, it had been re-adjusted. It wasn't aimed to catch the sneaky, but perfectly placed so I could see Mello and Near. Wammy was probably behind it. He enjoyed being cruel.

"Good, I didn't miss anything" If the security had been higher I would have missed the very beginning.

Roger barely had crawled into the room. He looked broken, like someone had pulled the rug out from underneath him and left him there bruised and alone. Hunched over, his eyes didn't focus on anything. He seemed a decade older than he had been earlier this week. When he finally spoke it barely came out as a whisper.

On his way to his desk he walked around a human, perhaps a creature. His hair was pure white- and his clothes were of the highest quality. The perfect clothes didn't look high quality, however. They were too big, too wrinkled, and too white. He was pure white. Like an angel. He never did anything wrong. He was never bad. He was perfect. I hated him for it sometimes. Only Near could hold the all three titles of angel, creature, and human. He hunched hiding his size, his brilliance, and his strength. He was 13, but you wouldn't even guess he was that old until you looked into his eyes. Then you'd have trouble guess his age as anything less than 30.

A blond, a striking blond stood like a king in front of the desk. Probably the smallest one three- but his stature made him appear larger than all. He is the only person I know who can pull off black leotards and a black t-shirt and look superior to those in suits and ties. It hurt to look at him. Mello is just Mello. I don't have titles for him. Even King is wrong- except that I knocked him off his thrown.

"What was that Roger?!" Mello cried disbelieving, like this information was the last straw. No, straw is too insignificant. More like someone took a bulldozer to an already crumbling statue. "Say it again!"

"L is dead." His voice was firmer this time.

Mello started to break "Dead?! How? You're saying he was killed by Kira? Is that it?"

He was holding back tears. He was the only one of the students to have ever met L. I don't know what happened, but it made Mello strive to impress L. It sometimes made him go against his very nature. He didn't imitate like Near did.

"Most likely" Roger stated, trying not to provoke the crumbling statue.

"He was going to sentence Kira to death and he was killed in the process." He clutched Roger, like as if to shake a different truth out of him. "Is that what you're saying?!"

I had never seen Mello act so stupid. He had the answer right in front of him but he still couldn't come to the conclusion. His eyes glance at the camera.

"He knows I'm watching."

Roger grasps for breath "Mello..."

Near dumps his puzzle. The sound breaks Mello's trance, and he releases Roger.

"If you can't win the game..." Near taunts "If you can't solve the puzzle..." In the moment I hate Near "You're just another loser." Why did Near have to rub it in? Does he not realize I'm watching? Does he not realize he's won?

He did win, and he broke Mello. He broke everything about Mello. Well, almost. There is one thing Near hadn't won at.

"So between Near and I, who did L pick?"

I silently pray, "Please, let it be Mello, please. He needs this."

"Since he was killed by Kira..."

I threw my keyboard across the room. "DAMN IT!" Ah, Stupid. No!

"…he couldn't choose. Mello, Near, how about it? Working together?" Stupid Roger. Stupid, stupid Roger.

Success makes Near stupid. He was never competitive- but when he wins he acts like he cannot loose. I suppose that is what happens when you never have to try. I'm convinced that is the only reason he dared speak so. "Yes, that sounds agreeable."

Mello sat there flinching. I feel so responsible. Even though, this time, it isn't my fault. His eyes look like the whole world turned against him, my optimist, looking like he has given up on the world. Perhaps it is my fault. And he isn't "my" optimist.

"One" I breathe in, "Two, Three" Mello must have been listening on some level- because he calmed down. He became the King he always is.

"That's impossible, Roger. You know I don't get along with Near." ...anymore

"You're always singling me out." He says it to the camera, to me. Not to Roger. "Always..."

After a moment he starts talking to Roger again, instead of me. "It's alright Roger. The one who will succeed L is Near. He's different than I am, he can think logically, like he's solving a puzzle. I'm leaving, from this institution as well."

"Mello!" Roger and I cry out at identical times. I didn't want Mello to leave. I wanted him to stay around to forgive me.

"I'm almost fifteen years old. I'm going to live my life the way I want to."

----

He walked up to the men's dormitories, grabs his things and scribbles two notes: one to me, and one to "that twit" Near.

----

Near stayed in the office, long after Mello and Roger left. Eventually he tilted his head at the camera, "Please, forgive me. It was for the best you know."

Damn perfect Near. Even at his worst his is still perfect. A perfectly horrid angel. "Yes, I forgive you. I'll always forgive you."

As if he could hear me he got up and went to find me.