What I've Done
by JUUL
A/N: Sequel to "Leave Out All the Rest," as requested. I recommend reading "Leave Out All the Rest" before reading this. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I did not write "What I've Done," Linkin Park did.
It's amazing how you never know what you've got until you lose it. Whether that special thing is a material possession, a memory, or even a person. Everyday, millions of people take things for granted, including people, such as their family or friends. They never suspect that one day they might lose that special someone. It never occurs that the closest person to you could be lost to you forever someday.
Fifteen-year-old Danny Fenton knew this, and he had learned it the hard way.
It had been a little over a year since that fateful day when he lost the closest person to him. It had been a little over a year since Sam Manson had committed suicide. Danny had just barely passed tenth grade; it was a miracle he passed his freshman year. That was the year that Sam had died.
Things were so complicated after she was gone. Everyone was saddened, even Paulina, Dash, and Valerie. Danny's parents and Jazz could barely stand going to Sam's funeral. Sam's parents almost divorced about a month after Sam's death, and both of them blamed themselves for what happened. Tucker didn't speak much, anymore; he rarely made any wise comments. Even though Tucker was finally dating Valerie, neither of them spoke much.
In this farewell,
There's no blood, there's no alibi
Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies
So let mercy come, and wash away
What I've done
Danny was heavily placing Sam's death on his account. He had ignored her, and he didn't listen to her. He didn't hear her out when she needed him the most. Danny blew off Sam just so he could try and have a chance at getting with Paulina. Danny felt as if he had indirectly caused Sam's death.
She cried out for help, to him, help that came too late. In Danny's mind, he was one of the main reasons for Sam's suicide. She loved him dearly, and he was too blind to notice it. Instead, he was too caught up in trying to impress Paulina and Valerie. Sure Danny knew that Sam had mentioned her parents in her suicide note, but Danny was overlooking that.
Now it seemed to Danny that he had to somehow fix everything. He did fix one thing already: he turned down Paulina's offer at going out. Even though Sam had told Danny to date Paulina, and be happy with her, Danny decided not to date her. If he did, he would feel guilty because it should be Sam dating him and no one else, and if he dated Paulina, he'd feel like he betrayed Sam.
He was still Sam's, although there wasn't enough time for him to be hers in the first place.
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
Of course, Paulina and Danny ended up being 'only friends.' Paulina ended up going out with Dash, who seemed to have resigned in the practice of 'torturing Fenton.' The football player and his friends didn't even spare Danny or Tucker a rude comment anymore. A year had passed since Sam's death, but people at school and at home, or even out in public, sympathized with Danny and Tucker. Especially Danny.
The main thing that Danny wanted to fix was bringing Sam back. He knew deep down in his heart that he could never bring her back no matter how hard he wished for it.
Danny sat on his bed, a flashlight in hand, and the covers pulled up over his entire body. His photo album sat on his lap as he looked through the many pictures. All of them held precious memories of happier times. The halfa flipped the page and eyed a certain picture for a long time.
It was taken about a year and a half ago. The beginning of Freshman year. Danny and Sam were sitting on Danny's front porch, smiling at Tucker who had taken the picture. Danny had his arm around Sam's shoulders, and Sam was holding up the devil-horns "rock on" sign. Danny wished that day could have lasted forever; he'd be happy even if that day lasted for only another day. Just that moment, being with Sam, made him feel so warm and happy inside.
But Danny could never feel that warmth ever again.
Put to rest
What you thought of me
Well I'll clean this slate,
With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come, and wash away
What I've done
Maybe there is a way, thought Danny, willing himself not to cry, to bring her back. His hopes soared as he jumped out of bed and changed into his ghost form. "I'm going ghost!" Danny whispered in an excited voice.
In a flash of white light, Danny Fenton dissappeared, and Danny Phantom stood in his place, a hopeful smile on his face.
He locked his bedroom door, went intangible, and then flew out the window. Flying at top speed, he franticly searched for any sign of a ghost. He floated in midair for a moment or two, looking around. All he could see were buildings, some with only a few lights on, it being around midnight. Hundreds of stars spread throughout a dark blue blanket that was the sky.
After becoming impatient with himself and any ghost that could help him with his plan, Danny made a beeline towards the Manson home. Surprisingly enough, Sam's parents had stayed in Amity Park. You'd think they'd move after... their daughter's... death, Danny thought, once again trying not to cry. I will not cry, I will not cry... There's gotta be a way to make this work...
Danny flew in through the window where Sam's room used to be. He turned tangible and sat down on Sam's bed. For the first time in months, he smiled. Sam's scent was all over the room, and all of her things were still there, right down to her posters on the walls.
"Come on," said Danny to himself, "come on..."
After minutes of waiting, he finally heard something.
"Sam?" Danny asked, getting up as happiness surged through him like a thousand volts of electricity.
"No," came a voice. It was a man's voice.
"Mr. Manson?" asked Danny, walking towards the bathroom connected to Sam's room, where the voice was coming from.
"No," repeated the voice, as it's owner stepped out of the shadows.
"Clockwork!" said Danny, surprised, but somehow angry at the same time.
"She's not coming back. She can't," said Clockwork.
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
"You!" said Danny, pointing his gloved finger at the floating ghost in front of him. "What are you doing here?
Why are you here?"
"Danny," said Clockwork, "Sam's not coming back. She can never come back."
"But doesn't everybody come back as a ghost?" asked Danny.
Clockwork sighed and shook his head. "Not everyone becomes a ghost upon dying."
"What do you mean?" Danny was getting mad. "I've seen hundreds of ghosts! Obviously they've all lived actual lives before! What the hell makes Sam so much different? Tell me!"
Clockwork really wasn't looking forward to explaining this to him. "Danny," he said, "Suicides don't become ghosts. They either dissappear forever, as in they 'pass on' as some humans call it. Or they turn into poltergeists, which are angry, violent, and are nothing like ghosts."
Danny clenched his fists and eyed Clockwork with malice. "Well, Clockwork? What indicates what will happen to someone if they commit suicide?"
"If they died of sadness and grief, they 'pass on' to the afterlife," Clockwork started his explanation. "If they died of anger and were a violent individual, their spirit will manifest itself in the form of a poltergeist and try to get 'revenge' on those who have wronged that spirit during their past life."
Danny sank to his knees, unsure of what he would rather like Sam's 'fate' to be. Sam wasn't angry or violent. She was sad... and lonely... in the end... because of me... Danny felt the tears coming again. "Clockwork," he said quietly, "can't you take me back in time? Take me back just so that there's just enough time to save her?"
Clockwork slowly shook his head. "I can't do that."
"Why not?" asked Danny, outraged. "You've done it before!"
"Exactly the reason," said the time ghost, "Since you've saved Samantha because I gave you more time before, I can't do it again. Everyone has one chance to fix things and you've already used that chance when you save not only her, but all your friends and family."
"No," said Danny, slowly shaking his head and backing up.
"I'm sorry, Danny," said Clockwork as he vanished. "So sorry..."
I start again
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I'm forgiving what I've done
Danny went intangible and flew out of Sam's room, straight out the window, and flew into the clear, night sky. Danny made his way to the cemetary, a few blocks east of the park. Upon arriving, Danny changed back into his human form and walked around, slowly making his way to Sam's grave.
The halfa no longer cared about stopping his tears. He looked down and read the engravings on the headstone. Danny fell to his knees and cried. He had lost Sam, his best friend... he had lost her forever... all because of his selfish wishes to be with a girl who didn't even love him, while he had someone who loved him.
"Sam," said Danny, "I'm so sorry. You'd still be here if I had just listened to you more often and spent more time with you. I remember when you said you didn't think you were leaving any reasons to be missed... Trust me, Sam, you've left a million reasons! Paulina, Dash, and Valerie are even sad that you're gone. You've always held me so close to you in your heart, and I was too blind to care or even notice."
He bowed his head, his long, black bangs falling over his eyes. "Sam," he said, "I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. "I never knew you meant so much to me, but I guess now I do... I just wish you were here with me."
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
Forgiving what I've done,
I'm forgiving what I've done
Unknown to Danny, an entity stood behind him; a young woman dressed completely in white, with the exception of her long, black hair and her beautiful amethyst eyes. The young woman reached out to Danny, with her flawless, pale hand.
"Danny," she said, "I forgive you. I just wish you could hear me."
Danny stood up, thinking he had heard a voice. No, he thought, I'm just going crazy... He stood up and opened his eyes. He gasped and put his hand over his mouth at what he saw. "Sam?" he asked, finding his voice.
Sam's apparition smiled at him. "Danny, I forgive you."
A/N #2: I guess you can consider that a happy ending. I got the idea of suicides just dissappearing from the movie "Beetlejuice." Suicides just dissappear, they don't go to heaven or hell (or in "Beetlejuice," the AfterLife or the Neitherworld) or become ghosts. I came up with Sam being merely an apparition, an entity, which depending on how you look at it, she's not a ghost, or a poltergeist, she's another type of being.