Hello, all. This Gilan-ness was inspired by my current iPod wallpaper: a picture of two penguins, one of whom has a helmet on his head. His lightbulb-inducing thought bubble:

"We're all gonna die. But I got a helmet."

...*crickets chirp*

Ahem. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice.

Warning: Gilan is OOC (for me at least), because I tried to make it funnier that way.

A Hard-Headed Thought

It can be said that for someone so clever and adept at smart ass comments, Gilan could be quite gullible.

There was the time his father told him babies were delivered by birds and Gilan unquestionably believed it for the better part of his fourteen years. Or when Halt insisted a poisonous spider was following and had it out for Gil, and the apprentice promptly started to sprint around the cabin in an attempt to shake off his stalker, screaming the whole while. Several other occurrences could be recounted in everyone's memory, but this is the time Gilan believed the end of the world.

Gilan rode through the streets with his cowl up, his ever-present smile hidden but there. The sounds and sights consisted of stall owners shouting outrageous prices and their customers haggling, small children dodging between long legs to play games set up for them, and those quiet, mysteriously shrouded groups of travelers promising a fortune-reading or advertising new ideas. All in all, market day was always a reason for the excitement-hungry apprentice to go into town.

The smell of hot pies, no doubt from Master Chubb's kitchen, wafted towards Gilan and he immediately turned in their direction. It wasn't every day he could get one without stealing it from the kitchens themselves.

After obtaining his pie (and making sure his face was hidden lest Master Chubb recognize the troublesome thief), Gilan dismounted Blaze and led her through the crowd while munching on it. He found a shady spot under a tree, and it wasn't long before the treat was gone and Gil was debating whether to buy another pie, and maybe a few for Halt.

Just as he settled on three more, a middle-aged man plopped down next to the apprentice. And, judging from the slightly crazed look in his eyes, it was the kind of person every child's parents told them to stay away from.

Gilan, though a naturally outgoing person, felt his year of Ranger training kick in and he forced his always wide grin down to a polite smile, nodded, and stood.

The man quickly grabbed Gilan's sleeve. "Wait!" he cried. "I h've somethin' 'portant to tell yah!"

Even his voice sounds insane, Gilan though, slightly panicked. He hurriedly shook the man off. "Listen, mister..." Looking closely, Gil was surprised to see a name tag on the loon's breast pocket. "Mister...Steve. I don't know you."

"A mir'cle!" The man, now Steve, sounded awed. "Yah know me name! Yah must be the one!" When Gilan moved to leave again, the man begged, "Just 'ear me out, lad, please."

Gilan hesitated, then cautiously sat down again. "What?"

"H've yah e'er 'eard of giants?" the man slurred, and Gilan struggled slightly to make the words out.

When he did, his smile grew a little. "Of course! Their method of transportation is the beanstalk."

Steve nodded vigorously. "They'e comin', lad," he said seriously. "They'e 'uge and they'e comin'!

With that, Steve sprang up and fled, presumably to alert other members of the society about the impending disaster. And not a second after, Gilan himself mounted Blaze and proceeded to lose his gullible mind.

"Come on, Blaze," Gil said, turning his horse in the direction of the crowded area in front of several stores. "We're going to save the world."

After alerting much of the younger population to the giant revolution and causing them to run panicked to the safety of their parents, Gilan went to do some shopping of his own. He needed to be prepared.

First stop was a store specializing in all gardening needs. Gil was well-known to the owner, Lucy, because his frequent visits when looking for new flowers. The apprentice had a pretty flower fetish, even making a bouquet for his mentor to put on the mantlepiece. Though, Halt hadn't gotten rid of it yet, so Gilan took it as a good sign.

Anyway, next Gilan went to a pet store. It was important he had a sidekick when fighting off the giants.

And now, he was ready.

Taking one look at Gilan, Halt made a mental note to check how many gray hairs he had acquired after dealing with whatever was going on.

The boy had in his hands a pair of garden clippers, holding them ready in the position one might associate with a weapon. As though Gilan was, single-handed, going to take on all the overgrown plants of the world. There was still the object on his head, however, which was giving Halt a hard time trying to make sense of this month's crazy attack.

"Stay inside, Halt," Gilan told his mentor seriously.

Halt wondered if he should play along. He smirked a little. "Your garden getting a bit unruly?"

"Something like that." The serious tone was slightly worrisome.

The older Ranger rolled his eyes. "Gilan, just tell me what the hell you're doing."

"Well, Halt, we're all gonna die." Before the older Ranger had a chance to even raise his eyebrows, Gilan tapped the thing on his head and said wisely, "But I've got a helmet."

Halt stayed speechless for a moment, staring hard from the boy to the helmet as if hoping one of them would rid of him of his suspicions regarding his apprentice's insanity.

Finally, he responded slowly, "Gilan, that's a turtle."

Without missing a beat: "I know."

Well, that wasn't quite what Halt was expecting. Shaking his head and praying that he wouldn't have to ask Crowley for any hair dye, the Ranger asked the very rational question, "Why?"

Gilan blinked. "Turtles are known enemies of the beanstalk, Halt. The giants won't have any way to climb down once Peter eats their ladder."

Halt's palm and face became very well acquainted at that moment.

Hehe, I love Gilan humor, even when he goes crazy :).

Review?

-Dodo