Come What Mai

(Or, a bunch of Mai crack!ships)

"You know, Mai," said June, chugging down her drink and slamming her cup down on the table, "you're kind of like me, out-badassing every guy in here. I say we did a good job of showing those guys what happens when they go a little too far."

"It was something to do," shrugged Mai, who swirled her drink around in the cup.

"Wanna be my partner? Y'know, hunt down some criminals, cash in on their bounties - how 'bout that?"

"Ugh, and spend all day on that slimy mole thing? I'd rather die alone in a pit. Wait, I take that back; a pit would be disgusting."

"No boyfriend? Aw. You're a pretty girl, you know." June sat back in her chair. Her hair fell back from over her eye a little.

Mai rolled her eyes. "That's nice to know."

June fiddled with the finger of her skintight black leather glove. "Y'know, I'm thinking you'd look better with a couple tattoos. How do skulls sound?"

"Whatever," was the flat reply.

"So what do ya say, kick some guy ass or what? You've got the insane skills for it. Hell, you just pinned half the guys in here to the walls while I threw 'em around a little." She grinned widely.

"Sure, why not. So long as it's something to do."

Mai surveyed the men she had saved from a boiling death just moments before. Heartless jerk, Mr. Ponytail, prisoner with girly beads, uncle, extremely buff guy holding my uncle. Whatever. I should probably do something about that.

Wait. Extremely buff guy.

I wonder if he's good with knives.

Toph barged into Mai's house one particularly sunny autumn day. "Hey, Miss Gloomy I-Like-Knives-and-Stabbing-Things," she greeted, "I kinda got in a fight with my dad, so do you mind if I crash here for a while?"

Mai's first reaction was to roll her eyes and sigh. "You're covered in dirt and Agni-knows-what."

Toph only scoffed at this. "You dissing my healthy coating of earth?" Then she plopped down on the couch and propped her feet up on the nearest table.

Mai buried her face in her hand.

"Yeah! Blind Bandit is in the house!"

"Thank you for that very literal piece of information. Now get off the couch and quit eating my fruit tarts."

King Bumi and Mai lounged in the throne room in Omashu.

"So, Sokka tells me you went against the princess at just the right time and that's what drove her insane," the king said.

"Look who's talking," Mai countered.

"Are you implying I'm mad? I'm offended."

"Whatever." She sighed. "This place is too green. Words can't begin to describe my aversion to this particular hue. It looks like the lawn grew weary of its mundane appearance and puked its color all over the walls."

"You like it?"

"No."

"That's too bad; I was going to let you stay here in the palace where it's nice and comfy."

"You'd let an enemy stay in your own home? Wow, such a great idea."

"You're too kind. You're quite a master of neutral Jing yourself."

Mai rolled her eyes. "Just give me my brother so I can leave."

"Okay, snot bag…kid… thing, don't you dare pee on me." Mai carried her brother by the back of his shirt at arm's length and covered her nose with her other hand. She carefully turned the infant to face her and narrowed her eyes. "Got that?"

The two-year-old put on a loopy grin, let his mouth fall open, and then rolled his head up and down as if to say "yes."

"…Close enough. You know, you're really lucky I'm not stabbing you right now."

Tom-Tom squirmed in his sister's grasp. He made a few gurgling noises, and then he reached towards his stuffed platypus bear, which was lying face-down on the floor. Mai noticed this and flatly said, "Alright, you can have your stupid toy." She elbowed him him off, letting his head bump against the floor. The baby, unscathed from the impact, squealed and stuck the platypus-bear's head in his mouth. Pulling it out, he stared at the sample of drool that had accumulated on the toy. Mai sat down and crossed her legs."You know, past the cute and bubbly, I guess you're not completely horrible," she admitted.

Tom-Tom threw his toy at her, hitting Mai squarely in the face. He giggled and showed his tiny teeth as Mai blinked slowly and turned towards him.

"Ew, baby drool. I take that back."