Bucky squeezed his eyelids, still lying on his back supporting his head onto a cold wall.
„My skin, my skin hurts so bad..." He whimpered, trying not to scratch his face. It felt as if he could tear this one stain off to the blood.
„It's alright Bucky... you've been treated with gas. They were chased away. You have to go with me, please. The pain will go away eventually. You regenerate." Said unfamiliar male voice. A man sounded concerned but also careful.
„Who are you?! Why do you call me like that?" Buck shouted hysterically. He hadn't assessed the situation for a while now. He was woken up by horrible smell and acidic burning.
He had no idea who could have approached him. He'd been hiding all week now. Behind trash containers.
Tears started going down his face some of them itching the irritated wound. „I don't want to go!" He yelled. „It burns... I don't want more pain." He groaned while trying to back off unsuccessfully.
„Bucky... you have to come with me. I'm Steve, you know me. We were soldiers fighting together!"
„Nooo!" Tears were going down even faster, he realized that eyes burn a bit too. His face flustered and a red, scorching mark on his cheek lit up. His lips formed a cringe. It tasted bitter. His life tasted so bitter.
There was some kind of attack on him or maybe... he wasn't careful with all the waste around.
„Bucky..." Through a curtain of tears he saw the tall man approaching with careful steps. He didn't look like Steve! He was much too big! Bucky made an effort to push himself back into the wall, but there was nowhere else to go and he felt so weak.
The man slowly crouched a foot away from him, with palms open and visible. His eyes seemed firm but honest and filled with something that desperate soldier couldn't quite recognize. It pinched him.
He aimed a knife immediately. Small blade kept on shaking together with the arm, but bucky made effort to keep his stance, even half-lying. His blue but reddish eyes fixed, full of pain, although ready to fight like an animal chased into a corner.
„Don't, don't come any closer..." He wheezed and caught his breath again.
„Buck..." The man grimaced as if he was about to cry. „My god, when did you eat last time?"
The soldier shoot his eyes to the right, as if calculating a potential threat of answering. HYDRA had its ways to trick him sometimes. It's been a while... he wondered and his lips partially opened. It's been a while when they tested him? But the memory seemed random and lost into a void. A fact of punishment existed but stranded, like a warning without a reason.
Bucky gripped the knife tighter and his hand shivered hard. The strange man looked down onto it and bite his lip. The soldier gasped when his back refused to heave the rest of the body.
"We don't have much time... I am Steve Rogers. You saved me when I fell down to the river. Do you remember?" The sentences were recited coldly, almost as a command.
Buck moved his head uncertain what to do with that. It was a command...
His mouth opened and he tried to say something... coherent. Something that... had a meaning to HYDRA.
His eyes strayed to the ground and back to the face of HYDRA handler, obviously testing him. Finally, he pulled back the knife into his chest pocket, they wouldn't like it.
The man sighed in relief and moved for an inch, before Bucky flinched.
Steve raised his hands calmly and nodded. "At ease, soldier..."
Bucky wrinkled, obviously lost as he put his lips tight for a second. That was very unusual test. His face itched a bit less but it was still a bad pain. Chills wondering around his face. Tears stopped flowing.
As if with an awful effort, he formed a response.
"Mission failed." His voice was gritty and washed out of emotions. It felt good all the sudden, it felt like home. Even if he gets a punishment. "Target survived." He looked up at his new handler who seemed different than all the others that Bucky had a notion to remember.
"...minor damage... dislocated shoulder, contusions, severe skin irritation of chemical origin. Weapons lost except knives." He kept on going, feeling his body going limp, his mind reconciled with punishment for a failure. It would hurt, hurt very much, until he'd forget how to scream.
The man's face froze, Bucky couldn't identify his emotion, it meant they wanted more.
"Severe malnutrition..." He said and winced. He couldn't comprehend how these words came out of his mouth. But this was the last report before he muttered "Hail HYDRA..." And fell into darkness.
The darkness was soft and warm. He tried to arc his back to rub into it. Something pushed him gently so he stopped. His face itched awfully and a cooling sensation ascended onto it. It was so soothing that he moaned with pleasure.
"Shhhh... Bucky... you don't want to scare the doctors." Said familiar voice.
"It doesn't hurt." He muttered while opening his eyes. His vision was foggy but he recognized one person. And then another, standing a few feet away. He couldn't exactly recall any names... "Why it doesn't hurt?" He asked genuinely with blue eyes wide open.
One of the handlers grimaced, surprised by his inquiry.
"Because, Bucky, you're among friends." Said familiar blonde man. "We want you to feel good..."
Bucky was confused. "I'm ready to take the punishment. I failed. Target survived." He repeated just in case, if there was a misunderstanding. Unclear messages were punished too.
He heard a stifled chuckle.
"We know it Buck, this is why I'm still here. I was your mission."
The soldier felt arising tight wave going up his body. Something clenched his chest and his heart started pounding like crazy. His breath sped up but he felt suffocation sucking up his consciousness so he waved his arms in panic.
Someone shouted in pain.
"It's alright! Alright Bucky! I'm alive! You're alive!"
Soldier's shallow breath paced down after he felt a prick in his arm. He had no strength to fight it.
Steve's face appeared so close. "You'll be good. I'm your friend, James..."
"S-steve!" Bucky cried and new tears went down his face. "I almost beat you to death!" His voice broke down. "This is the only thing I want to wipe out! That's the only thing..." He mumbled through whimper and held Steve's hand with his metal one. He tried not to squeeze to hard.
"You're forgiven Bucky... just let us help you to heal yourself..." Said quiet voice, it sounded so much like this boy that Bucky used to protect, yet, he seemed so different.