"Thank you," Neela came up behind Ray, as he busied himself writing up various paperwork. She wasn't sure how to approach this. She knew he was hurt; otherwise he wouldn't have lashed out like that. And she…she didn't know how she felt about anything…
"For what?" Ray's voice sounded neutral, or so he tried to be. After the outburst last week, he wasn't sure how to act around Neela. Everything he said had been true, but he had also succumbed to the guilt. He pushed too hard. Maybe he shouldn't have been as forthright. Neela was grieving still. He knew that, but at that time, the resentment just bubbled within him. He almost missed what Neela was saying next.
"You didn't have to do that," she said quietly.
"What?"
"Take Tony over there to see my patient. I know what you did. And I know everything's not so great between you and me right now, but…I just wanted to say thanks. It meant a lot to me,"
But Ray couldn't control his anger any longer. The frustration spilled out again. "At least something I've done means a lot to you," he shot back. As Ray turned his back and made an effort to walk away, Neela caught his sleeve.
"Ray, wait," Neela forced him to look at her. "Ray," she began again but seemed to be at a loss for words. "I…I…"
"You what, Neela?" Ray prompted her. He didn't mean to sound so harsh. The better part of him was tugging at him, telling him to understand her. But Ray still needed to know why Neela had left and why she had turned from him. So he stood there and waited.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry…and," she took a deep shallow breath. "I wish you knew…just how much you mean to me and always have. I never meant to hurt you. But I…don't know…I'm just messed up and I need to be put back together. And you've always put me back together. You've always been there in the background for me. And I need to do this by myself. I can't burden myself on you---"
"Neela, you've never been a burden to me," Ray protested.
"But we just need time, Ray," Neela said softly. "I need time to sort it out. You know I---I---can't lose your friendship."
"Why can't you let me be there for you?" He asked quietly.
"Because you, you deserve to know what you can have out there with Katey or whoever…and I can't be selfish. But I need time and you can't always protect me or find the need to…"
"Neela, don't you know that me being there for you---"
"Ray, I know," Neela interrupted him. "Then take this as something that needs to happen. I know we don't want it to…but I just need some space. But I still need you, and I guess this is selfish, but I just can't lose you…"
And then he stopped her. "You'd never lose me," he said tenderly and took her into his arms, as Neela melted into the comfort.
Neela didn't know where they would be. It was just so complicated for her right now, but she knew that Ray understood. At least for now. And she could go on rebuilding her life again, knowing that he'd be there. She couldn't psychoanalyze her feelings right now. But finally, in a long, long, long while, she finally felt right…where she belonged.