Author's note: The first time I posted this first chapter (about fifteen seconds ago), it was considerably shorter - some extra sections are added onto the end.

I'm currently taking a break from my multi-chapter fic What if? but it is by no means abandoned. My warmest thanks to those people who read it and are waiting for the next chapter! xx

This is completely AU, completely silly and just for fun, because wedding receptions are supposed to be fun :) I'm not bothering with details like they all know Thor will outlive Jane by a large margin, people who are dead in canon are alive here, the proper order of events within a real wedding ceremony and wedding reception (not that this is a classic Midgardian wedding anyway), etc.

Enjoy and review :)

(Reviewing optional. Enjoyment also optional but more important)

Thor was a warrior. Thus, he was much accustomed to feigning full vigilance with four hours of fitful sleep the previous night before having risen with the sun.

Last night, he had stared blankly at the high ceiling above him in his darkened bedchambers, watching the occasional shadow of a cloud eclipse one of the moons and listening to the nightly sounds of patrolling watchmen and warbling birds.

Thor had been like so for four hours. Of all nights, it had to be last night he realised how the air felt too still and the mattress beneath him so uncomfortably soft that he sank until it hugged his limbs and felt like bindings.

But that was last night. He was wholly alert today.

"Thor, the Treasurer's daughters are the flower girls. You just told that courier to deliver the bowls of petals to the Master of the Guard's son, who is your ring-bearer."

Thor paused. "But Dvalin and Borghild will correct that, won't they?"

Loki quirked his lips to one side. "Everyone in this realm is under the impression your brain is adequately installed into your skull," he explained. "So the eldest prince's word will override those of your wedding planners."

Thor ignored the jibe. At least it had been only the first instruction Thor had given today. He would have Loki, Sif or Frigga glued to his side for the rest of the day until the ceremony. "In that case… can you please fix this right now, Brother?"

One corner of Loki's mouth twitched upward. "What would you do without me?" He vanished around the corner.

Thor drank in the early sunlight from the stone steps of the front hall. The sky was its typical fair blue, dome-like self over the glinting city, but to him it also seemed brighter, clearer. And higher, like he would have to fly further with Mjolnir just to brush it with his fingertips. Higher, to accommodate the feeling that brilliant golden light was radiating from Thor as the fact stood that he would wed Jane that evening. He smiled at the sun.

"I trust you've restrained yourself from giving any more directions to your workers while I was gone?"

Loki stood behind him in the shade on a higher step, his nose and the toes of his boots tipped with sunshine. Nearly everyone Thor had encountered so far that afternoon – their mother, the servants, even the Warriors Three – was already outfitted for the ceremony beginning in a few hours. Only Loki, his father and himself still wore their timeworn leather.

"No orders have been given. Nothing should go amiss on my part from now on." Thor replied. Loki raised an eyebrow, his lips parting to supply a satirical remark. Probably something similar to Thor, 'from now on' implies a very long time –

"Shut up, Loki." Thor intercepted. Loki chuckled.

"But I do owe you some credit, Brother." Thor stated. "How in Hel's name did you get our friends to ready their garb so promptly? Volstagg knows he is not allowed to eat anything once his clothes are donned." The sight of Volstagg in his formal cloak with a combed beard was still mentally lingering.

Loki shrugged. "First, I asked them politely. They said they still had three hours to bathe and dress, and then continued their usual doings. Then I told them it was part of their roles as your groomsmen and closest companions to have themselves prepared early – "

Thor smiled.

" – to which they responded by still ignoring me." Loki continued. "So then I told Jane." He shrugged again, like the last sentence was explanation enough.

Thor winced on Jane's behalf. Even with all of Asgard's royal helpers, Thor had never seen Jane hampered with so many prints that were not about the Earth's constellations. At first, she had tried insisting on a modest, small-scale ceremony and reception. But there was the fact that the nuptials involving Asgard's eldest prince would entail thousands of mandatory guests, from Asgard and other realms. He longed for the time she could pore over papers with her thirsty curiosity instead of lethargy.

"Our friends submitted for her?" Thor hoped Darcy Lewis was also fulfilling her responsibilities as Jane's Maid of Honour well enough. He hoped she had not brought her Taser from Midgard.

"After glimpsing her expression when she spotted Fandral slinking over to one of her bridesmaids."

Thor suppressed a laugh, starting to ascend the stairs. "I should go to her and see if I can help – "

Loki clamped a slender hand on Thor's shoulder and tutted. "The future princess is dressing. You may no longer see the bride before the ceremony."

"That is a Midgardian superstition to ward off ill fortune – "

"And Jane is a Midgardian who attracts ill fortune like bloody meat attracts bilgesnipes, so leave her with Darcy."

"You just compare my betrothed to – "

"So let's go get your marriage attire sorted instead!" Loki beamed, grasping Thor's arm and piloting him inside.

They passed Sif as they went. The skirt of her dress floated around her feet dreamily in a very non-Sif-like manner, glowing with the hues of the ocean.

"Do you not think Thor can walk himself through his own home, Loki?" She tossed the rhetorical question over her shoulder as they crossed.

"And run the risk of him trampling off to see his bride-to-be?"

Sif spun on her heel to face them, giving Thor a firm stare. Thor doubted she genuinely cared about the trivial human superstition. More likely Frigga had personally asked her to help ensure everything went according to the wedding plans; Sif would never let their queen down. "So the blame is on you if he does." She said to Loki, turning again and continuing on her way.

"The time Sif backs up my actions is the date you are to be married." Loki mused as he towed Thor. "Two impossibilities in one day."

Thor reached over to clip the back of Loki's head with his free arm.

"You really should change back into your formal ones."

Thor huffed forcefully, trying to exhale his annoyance. Loki continued to pace the length of the bedchamber floor in his polished black shoes, slowly weaving around ornate furniture and the clusters of Thor's possessions. In the bronze-framed mirror that nearly touched the vaulted ceiling, Thor saw Loki looking up at him every few steps to smirk at Thor's trepidation.

"Really, it's only for a quick round of wedding vows and then a really lengthy banquet." Loki added behind him. "Which is now fast approaching, so you'd better hurry up and put on those clothes before Mother knocks and tells me to get you to hurry up."

Reflected in the mirror, the sky outside the high windows was curtained with pale indigo. Soon, the first stars would accompany the pallid moons. Thor's reflection faced the lavish garments that were in a rejected pile at the edge of his bed.

"Then make haste and use your magic tricks to make the ridiculous garb more comfortable, Brother."

"I already told you, I am not catering my magic 'tricks' to your intolerance of ceremonial attire. You should have acknowledged earlier what your wedding day would necessitate."

"The only reason why I'm allowing you in my chambers now is because you could possibly make them feel less like I am being embraced by an elderly bilgesnipe." Thor ran a hand over the sleeve of his normal tunic that he now wore. The fabric was smooth like a prince's garments should be, and not clinging nor hanging in annoying folds.

"I'm offended. I thought you invited me here for my fashion know-how."

"You wear nothing but black and green," Thor growled. "I can conquer a Jotun army, but not bear these things for one entire evening. How have you endured wearing yours for this long? Yours are of the same abysmal material as mine."

Loki raised his eyes to the ceiling and tilted his head, as though reflecting deeply. "I'm tougher than you," he concluded.

Thor grunted. "When it comes to wearing ludicrous clothing, then. I'd enjoy watching you take on a Frost Giant army, with your little knives and magic tricks."

"Which is not as vital as wearing ludicrous clothing this evening. We'll be expected in the courtyard in an hour, and you should still practice your vows and your speech once more."

From his chamber windows, an enthusiastic hum of the seating guests drifted through, making the air tingle. Thor huffed again. "But they are so uncomfortable. I would rather wear Sif's breastplate."

"Now you're just being dramatic. You'll be more than merely uncomfortable if Mother sees you wearing your normal tunic to this occasion. Or if Sif saw you wearing her breastplate." Loki tilted his head at him. "A few people might be uncomfortable if they saw you wearing Sif's breastplate."

Thor turned to take a swing at him, but Loki took a generous step backwards and said, "Perhaps I'll just check on the bride instead."

Jane had been quartered in the lush guest chambers at the end of the hallway some staircases away from Thor's.

Loki wove around the currents of servants flowing to and from the multiple doors lining the corridor. Besides the customary bow of their heads in his rough direction, they disregarded him as he passed, not breaking stride in whatever task they had been assigned to help Jane's bridal party. Having no other human women she wanted to have as her bridesmaids besides Darcy Lewis, Jane had been given a list of Asgardian noblewomen to select from. Thor told Loki she had ended up taking Loki's suggestion of closing her eyes and pointing at the list at random.

He reached the gleaming double doors at the end of the hall, tapping his knuckles on their glossy surface and hearing it echo inside. He heard Darcy and Jane's voices interweaving, before Jane's voice rose. "Who is it?"

"Jane? It's Erik." Loki only bothered with a half-hearted impersonation of Selvig, but was still answered with a hurried, "Come in!"

She would be glad enough to see the man who was supposed to walk her down the aisle. Or she would have been. Loki was greeted with the sight of Jane sheathed in lustrous white while Darcy was rushing around behind her to find the bouquet.

Jane's shoulders sagged once she saw who it was.

"I wanted to ask if you needed any help."

"Get out!" She snapped.

"Okay." He shut the door again.

Thor let out a deep breath, already feeling like his ceremonial uniform had been abrading the same places on his skin for hours. He restlessly readjusted his collar for the seventh time. When he stepped out of his bedchamber doors, Loki was leaning against the opposite wall, waiting. He was similarly arrayed in blood red and a black so vibrant that the red almost shone.

"How was Jane?" Thor asked.

"Cooler than the autumnal breeze." Loki chirped. He fell into step beside Thor as Thor began making his way through the lamp-lit palace to the largest courtyard. Thor had not yet seen the final decorations, which Frigga, Dvalin and Borghild had been orchestrating. He had attended numerous extravagant events before, but he doubted few would be so lavishly adorned as the one that evening. Even the guards they passed, stationed along the halls and stair landings, were sporting a more intricate uniform, albeit the same flat expressions.

"You're last hour of freedom is nearly up, my friend!"

Fandral strolled up from behind them, patting Thor's back and feigning hanging his head in despair.

"How are you faring, Thor? Are your battle-hardened nerves giving way?"

Thor chuckled. "I could not be more pleased. As for my nerves, they will likely fare better than you when the Chiefs of Celebrations find you're not waiting at the court's main entrance with your bridesmaid partner right now."

"Er, yes," Fandral nodded sheepishly. "I was waiting with her there, but then she remembered me from the Old War revels last year."

"Fandral."

"Actually, to be more descriptive, she remembered the other maiden I was with that evening."

"Just go." Thor jostled his friend ahead of them down the corridor.

"They're expecting you there soon too, Thor." Fandral grinned. He turned to raise his eyebrows at Loki. "Good heavens, Loki, he was placed in your supposedly capable hands, so make haste."

"My brother will get there in time," Loki said. "But he just wants to practice his speech with me in private."

Thor had mentioned no such thing, but Loki looked so convinced that Fandral just replied, "I hope you can hold your own against two aggravated wedding planners" before continuing to the courtyard.

They had stopped walking. Thor turned to Loki and chided, "You really should stop coming up with excuses to get rid of our friends, Brother. You know I need no practice to speak publicly with confidence."

Loki's eyes widened innocently. "Wedding jitters can touch even the mighty Thor, you know. And it's not your confidence I would fret about."

"My feelings for Jane are such that I will speak with even greater conviction, not fumble like an old fool."

"Well, if you won't rehearse it now, at least tell me you will have it with you in the form of palm cards during your reception."

"It is true my speech is not rooted in memory, Brother, but I have no need of notes. I can articulate from the heart when I must."

Loki's eyebrows were raised for what Thor thought must be the dozenth time that day. "Articulate it on the spot. You. I know I'm at your side a vast majority of the time, but I'd swear people are referring to me when they say 'Silvertongue'."

Thor merely chuckled. "If it appeases you, I will take my palm cards, but I assure you, they will be of no great need."

Loki pursed his lips slightly, but otherwise did not press the matter. "Very well. Then let's get you to the ceremony."

"Lead the way."