Ron's Monologue:
Scene: Kim is supposed to be getting an award for saving the world in front of an audience and he is trying to stall for time until she can show up because of another mission.
(Walks in and acts nervous on stage)
Hello… *ahem* I am Ron… and I'll be your entertainment until the guest of honor, my best friend shows up. Yeah, I know you're all disappointed but hey, don't worry! She has a perfectly good reason.
How do I know? Oh, that's easy! Me and her have been like the best of friends since Pre-K. We met after naptime and after we kinda helped each other with some schoolyard bullies, we became inseparable friends. It was also really good to find out that we lived on the same block so it was easy to keep in touch after that you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know. I can see in your eyes. Oh, and I'd get that eye thing looked at mister.
Anyhow, as you can guess over the years and years and years and years of our growing up, doing all kinds of stuff together. I guess it would be only natural that we'd take many of the same classes, have similar interests, help each other out whenever the other needs it on a date. Oh, like there was this one time my friend got hit by a potion by this mad scientist that would make go POOF! (hand poof action) if she blushed enough times.
But then this guy she was crushing on calls her up and she can't refuse a date with him, oh nooooo… heaven forbid that you would not go out with the one person who would most likely make you blush over the simplest dating mistake. (Rolls eyes)
Anyway, her best friend… namely me found the antidote in time and got to her before that final blush would do her in. Yeah, I know… unbelievable huh? Well to be truthful, that wasn't the strangest thing that has ever happened to us. Oh, that reminds me of the time we were both hit by this truth ray and… *sighs and kicks the ground longingly* boy was that the best of time for me and the worst of time for her.
I hope all of you can appreciate the irony in that. She is normally so honest and straightforward but she couldn't even do little white, feeling-easing type lies and I was not exactly mr. honest and straight up forward kinda guy. *Holds up hands and waves them back and forth* Yes, I know… I know… Hard to imagine huh? Well, it probably would have been alright if her father's bosses weren't coming over and they were the kind of stuck-up, annoying, bosses that you had to lie if you wanted to keep your job. *shakes head sadly* Boy, am I glad I don't work for a boss like that where I need to lie to keep the job.
*Smiles happily* Buy hey, it wasn't so bad for me, the Ron-man because I was finally able to tell my teach exactly what I thought of the book he had assigned us and boy was it a boring one! I almost dislocated my jaw from yawning after only reading the first three pages! After that, it was just one thing after another and it made me only more and more popular! But atlas, like all quick things in my life, it came, it saw, it recoiled and it left. Without the help of the truth ray, I found I didn't have the courage to say the truth anymore and life went back to normal.
Oh hey, and if you're wondering about what happened to my friend, she almost got her father fired but in the end she was able to turn it all around and actually got her father a raise… *taps chin in thought* I think.
Anyhey, that still wasn't the strangest thing that ever happened to us and let me tell you this. As a guy I am perfectly happy to be in my own body! Hey what's with the strange looks everybody?
Oh, I know what you're all thinking! What is this guy talking about? *waves his hands wildly in dismissal while rolling his eyes* Why wouldn't he be in his body? Who is this nut before us?
Well it is true I tell you! We had our minds swapped… on accident of course! Hey, don't give me that look, it wasn't my fault! She ended up under the brain-switching thing first by accident!
Now I know to the outsider that brain switching can be a very funny thing, but hey! I'll tell you one thing, it is a completely different experience when it happens between you and your best friend that you've known practically your whole life! Just think about it for a second about what it would be like if you were to swap not just bodies but gender with your best friend and stay like that for more than a day.
While I will be the first to admit that I found the whole thing rather cool at first with the whole long, hair flippy thing kinda neat and the whole cheerleader outfit kinda fun to wear but as I quickly found out, trying to run in a cheerleader skirt while being chased by henchmen was not a fun experience.
*Frowns while Staring out at the audience as they snicker* Hey, I can hear you snickering out there! You try it sometime, it ain't fun! At least after all that, I guess you could say we had walked literally a mile or so in each other's shoes but it was so nice to be back in my own body and back where I belonged.
Hey! I do not appreciate the tone of your question dude! I was a gentleman the whole time I was in her body. I did not peek any more than I needed to change. The really hardest thing about being in her body was all the peer pressure that came with it! All the decisions, decisions, decisions! It was almost enough to drive me batty! *waves his hands like bats in the air*
At least she learned some about how brutal my life can be, bullies in D Hall and all that. But she fixed their wagon and made my life better by teaching them a lesson. After that, the bullies were nicer to me. *Listens to some soft chuckling and does a goofy smile*
*Tilts head to one side* Yeah, I know… with all these kind of adventures, and stuff I bet you're all wondering. What keeps us as friends?
Sure, we've had our troubles along the way. What friendship hasn't? But hey! We're all the stronger for it.
*Hears Kim arrive and looks to the side* Hey everybody! The star of the show and who you all have been waiting for has just arrived! *waves Kim over and acts like she is walking over* Let's hear it my best friend and saver or the world! C'mon you can applaud louder! *walks out of sight to curtain and applauds himself*
The End
