The Adventures of Boxer and Sock
Haters Gonna Hate

"You wanna know what I think the problem with most people today is," asked the blonde haired angel. "They're way to fuggin' sensitive and shallow," he answered. He wishes that this were the setup to some sort of joke, but it's all too real.

"Tell me about it," his bluish haired emo little brother replied back to him. Sock could perfectly understand what his older brother Boxer was implying. As nonconformists, the two chaotic renegade angels were no strangers to interference of their personal affairs.

"Oh, I will, buddy," assured Boxer. "Ya see, a lot of people feel that their entitled to shove their feelings out in front," he suggested. "They go on and on about their opinions are so fuggin' precious, and the moment you even attempt to prove them wrong, they get bent the funk out of shape," he elaborated.

"I know what you mean," Sock understood, "Real hypocrites." As a matter of fact, Sock was almost guilty of being one of said hypocrites himself. There was time where he struggled to keep his emotions in check and maintain his trademark steel exterior that he and his brother both shared proudly.

"And I know you know what it feels like 'cause you were almost one of those losers," reminded Boxer. His little brother was quick to request that he didn't, but for the sake of making sure that his brother matured into a fine anarchist, Boxer had to.

"Oh, I have to, pal, 'cause I don't ever want you to go through that kind of shit again," Boxer spoke aloud. He then turned his attention toward the fourth wall where a viewer would normally sit and said, "Ya see, viewers, the story goes like this…" And this is where we begin our chaotic tale of when one of the brothers was threatened to conform to custom.

A short time ago, in a Daten City not too far away, we are here at Daten City High School and the bell has just rung beckoning for the students to enter and report to class. Our two angelic heroes, Boxer and Sock Anarchy both arrived late because, as sometimes stated, the heroes always arrive late. With a glorious smash, they both kicked down the doors making their grand entrance to fame and popularity.

"S'up, bitches," they both sounded off to their mates. They were immediately recognized by their peers, who swooned over the pair like a crowd of women being serenaded. The cheers could be heard from outside the school, one could swear.

"Dude! It's, like, Boxer and Sock," the first student piped up.

"Those guys rule," a second next followed.

"I wanna be your fuckboy, Boxer," a then third student cried out.

A fourth finally spoke out, "Sock can rock my cock any day!"

These people were all wonderfully infected by the twins' charisma and they would be doubly sure to return the favor. "What's shakin', bacon," blonde Boxer greeted cockily. His bluish and emo younger brother Sock followed with a lude, "Anybody interested in some sausage?" Oh, yes, he knew what brought all the boys to the yard.

As their fans gushed and gushed like the climax of a horse gone haywire, one particular student looked on at the sight. This red headed girl, arms crossed and brows pointing downward, was frankly disgusted, and she was about to make that known. The bell rang again heralding the beginning of class, in which the subject was semantics and debate.

"Look, all I'm sayin' is that the key to happiness is simply not giving a shit and doing what you want," Boxer said plainly. The question of the day was how one could live their life to the best of their ability. If there was one thing that Boxer had the answer to, it was just that, and he was more prepared to expand on that.

"When you give a lesser shit, there is more to life that you can take. Studies show that when you do whatever you want and give a lesser shit, the better you feel about yourself." Boxer was well aware of how he would be able to play people into his hands, positively speaking of course.

"Hells yeah," his brother Sock supported him.

Even the teacher was intrigued by the blonde's thesis who said, "Interesting. Tell us more."

"Gladly," Boxer responded. "The key to the key of happiness is not so much validation as it is indifference. Tis often that the lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of the sheep, after all, and so what I encourage is that everyone let their own lion, even if it's a cub, out of their cages and into the wild!"

He sustained, "The steps to take are relatively simple, my friends. First, get serious about your life and go against the flow. Next, see average people and their opinions as just that, average, and give a lesser shit about them. Lastly, assert your individuality by embracing your inner douchebag and letting your actions speak for themselves!"

Sock instigated by gleefully shouting, "Power to the fuggin' people!"

The students clap their hands in approval, but the red-haired girl from earlier had something to say, something that would send one of the brothers into a downward spiral of seeking confirmation. She was present during what she mentally considered to be pure hokum. Six hours had passed from then and bell had chimed for the final time alerting all students of Daten City High that it was time to go home. Boxer's speech in semantics class inspired them to pursue their dreams of doing what they wanted to do and not giving a fuck about another person's unwarranted input.

"Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Boxer and Sock," a random student said, who aspired now to be something more than random.

He friend shared his sentiments by exclaiming, "I'm gonna go stick it to my mom after I'm done stickin' it to her!"

The chaotic angels were making their way to the gates unaware of the obstacle that was about to stand in their path. Boxer had no worries, however, as he dealt with it has soon as it came. Sock, on the other hand, could only feel as safe next to his big brother.

"Well, Sock, it seems we enlightened a generation today. We should be proud of this moment," Boxer prided.

Sock curiously asked, "Why? You said not to give a fuck about what other people do or think."

"You're right, I did," answered Boxer. "But the important thing is that we let each go his own way as long as it doesn't conflict with another's. I mean, if we kept forcing our will on everybody like a bunch of Nazis, what kind of people would we be?"

Boxer was rather intelligent given his appearance of a slacker. His hobby of being a daredevil would suggest otherwise, but that is a big "would." Suddenly, the two would be interrupted by one voice of dissent that was uncalled for.

"You'd be much more credible," spoke said dissident voice. Without warning, from out of nowhere, the two angelic brothers stand blocked by the red haired girl who had been waiting her chance to pounce like a pussy. She stands in front of the gates arms crossed and eyes glaring like a hawk.

Boxer could only raise an eyebrow in confusion for he had hardly ever encountered anybody who questioned the brothers' choice of lifestyle. "Excuse' moi," he asked. The girl stood staunchly in their way, as if to act as a gatekeeper of some sort.

"You'd be a much more credible people if you and your brother both had a point to any of your endeavors," the unknown girl spoke again.

For several seconds, the brothers stood there confused casting their eyes aside. The silence was broken when Boxer voiced. "Mm-hmm. You're right, rarely does anything we do have a point, but that's what makes all the more beautiful."

"I mean, life is so short and pointless that the best thing one can do is simply embrace their insignificance. Paradoxically, by embracing your insignificance do you truly understand your power as a living being." Boxer always seemed to have a comeback for everything and that is why his little brother Sock admired him so much. He always gets off whenever his big brother takes criticism and turns it around against the critic. However, this time would prove to be a trying time for the emo angel.

The red haired female was going irritated quickly and asked, "Do you listen to yourself when you talk?"

"Like I said, rarely," Boxer sarcastically responded.

The unknown girl intruded, "You're making yourself look very foolish."

"Pardon," Boxer asked, who now getting annoyed himself.

"You need to learn how to handle criticism and different opinions."

Who is this bitch?

The girl finally got to the point and introduced herself, "My friends call me Haruhi."

Boxer's skepticism had peaked but he continued to put up a strong defense in return. "Haruhi. That name does not bode well for some reason. Anyway, I refer you to my most recent statement that rarely does anything we do have a point and the best thing we can do is embrace our own insignificance so that we can break off the illusory shackles of control."

Sock, who felt as if he was being entirely ignored finally interjected to his brother, "Boxer, let's go home. I'm starving for some candy and yaoi!" Sock for one was a young man of tastes that many would considered the oddest, but he could care less much like his older brother before him.

Boxer was ready to bring this little already ill rapport to a close. "You and the fuggin' yaoi… You're right, buddy. There are more important things to be done than talking to someone who clearly doesn't understand the futility of her jurisdiction. But hey, thanks, darling, for giving me the chance to prove my point again."

"You're welcome," Haruhi replied, "I'm always interested in hearing another point of view."

It was at that moment that Boxer could catch a glimpse of what hid in this girl's soul and he had one thing to say about it. This bitch was made of spite. He paid it no mind, however, for as stated before, the lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of the sheep. The two made their way past…Haruhi…and out of the gates of Daten City High towards See-Through. As Haruhi watched them go scowling, a glimmer of said spite shone in her eye.

We are now at Daten City Church and the brothers have gone to pursue their respective interests. Sock, the hormonal younger brother of Boxer, was laying on his bed reading yaoi on his laptop and eating candy. Despite proudly wearing the name of Anarchy on his sleeve, he was still a rather sensitive young man. Boxer was always there to tell him to get a grip without holding his hand too much. Today, however, would test his ability to persevere in the face of pressure even further.

"Omigod, that is so hot," Sock exclaimed. "Ooh this comic is so bae. Takeshi, you know how to get a guy hard," he enthused. Even while being male himself, witnessing two people of the same said gender get it on turned Sock red with pleasure. "Oh, hang on a sec," he paused as he was alerted to new email that had just arrived.

With a few clickety-clacks he opened it up.

The contents of the email were that a new blog had just opened and it left Sock wondering. "A new blog has opened up? I wonder what that's about. Wait, how does whoever sent this to me know my email address," he questioned. "Whatever," he immediately dismissed.

Sock followed the link in the email's description to the blogs location. It led him to the home page of, believe it or not, Haruhi, the girl whom Boxer and traded words with at school. Sock incredulously asked out loud, "This bitch again?" He would dismiss again, "Whatever, I don't need to listen to her."

As Sock prepared to click out of the website, however, he was foully interrupted by a video that was playing automatically. The audio from the video was from none other than Haruhi herself. "Today, I met two of the rudest people on the face of the planet, Boxer and Sock Anarchy!"

Sock attention was caught, unfortunately, and he couldn't help but hear Haruhi whine.

"They disrespected me for having a different opinion from them and bullied me for using my right to free speech," she complained.

Sock didn't know what to say.

"These two think that they are a godsend, but they're not! They need to grow up and realize that not everyone thinks the same way that they do," she continued to moan.

With his emotions getting the better of him, Sock tried to butt in. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"We need to stand up against censorship and show these two that just because they can do what they do, doesn't mean they should! They're not funny!"

How could that be true?!

"I must be the only person who feels this way…," Haruhi went on.

Sock couldn't believe what he was hearing. The girl basically was lying to everyone on the internet about their encounter at school. He couldn't take it anymore and called out to his older brother in desperate need of help from beyond his room. "BOXER, I NEED YOU!"

Boxer heard him and was rudely awakened from…certain activities...and came into his room with a handheld video game console in hand. "What," he shouted back in retort. "You know, it's really hard to jack off to Russian porn with you yelling like that!"

Russian porn…on an old-school video game machine…? Before Sock could address his complaint he reminded Boxer, "Umm, stacking blocks is not porn." Boxer may have been misconstruing the line between sexual pleasure and entertainment yet again.

"It's not…? Whatever, the hell do you want?"

Sock pointed to his computer trying to show him the rant made by Haruhi, but Boxer simply shrugged. Sock got and grabbed him and asked, "Remember that red-haired girl who bitched at us on our way home from school?" Now Boxer's attention was caught successfully.

"Yeah, Haruhi was it?"

"Right, well, she opened up a blog and…well, look."

Boxer rolled his eyes and slightly pushed his little brother aside as he sat down on his bed. He showed him the video of the girl's tirade which lasted for more than several minutes. Who would waste their time in such a manner?

Haruhi was still complaining, ""What kind of an absolutist society are these two trying promote?! Anyone who is attacking me on their behalf needs to shut up!"

The words stung Sock, who whimpered, but Boxer remained surprisingly unimpressed as he immediately clicked out of the video out of boredom. "Okay, I'm bored."

Sock interposed, "Wait, look. She also has a page on abnormalART."

"That fetish site?"

"Just look."

Boxer clicked on the link that led to the…fetish site…and was sent to Haruhi's page. What Boxer discovered immediately made him take back. What blasted his eyes were icons after icons declaring hatred towards just about everything. "Wow, there are a lot of hate stamps here."

Boxer clicked on Haruhi's gallery and found even more hate stamps, as well as a few poems, but more on that later. "Jesus Christ, does this ho have anything better to do?" He continued to scroll through her gallery. "Bitch, I don't like that show any more than you do, but I am not about to waste my time being a dick about it online.

"Stop, look," Sock pointed to what appeared to be a poem written by the red-haired hate obsessed wench. Boxer clicked on it to open it up to read it in full view. What he read astounded him, for it was mere drivel about how basically Haruhi was as free as a bird and said that she could be your best friend or your worst enemy. After reading it, Boxer clicked the button with a large exit to get out and he laid silent for about a full minute.

Sock tried to ask if his older brother was okay, but the threat of being piss-smacked across the face pulled him back. The pair laid silent for several more seconds until Sock was in the surprise of his life. There was more that he would not believe he was about to hear.

"HOLY FUCKING GOD," Boxer yelled out! He suddenly began to roll on the floor laughing his ass off out loud over how stupid that poem was! "Ho-ho-holy fuck, that's hilarious!" Boxer continued to guffaw and guffaw while Sock looked on unassured. After what seemed like an hour, Boxer finally took some deep breaths and looked at his little brother.

The blonde daredevil of an angel questioned, "Sock! You're seriously hurt by that shit?!"

Sock shyly replied, "Y-yes."

Surprisingly, a piss-smack was not actually in store for the emo bluish haired angel, but an affirming hand on his shoulder.

"Oh my god, dude, you need to get a fuggin' grip," Boxer spoke compassionately. He looked into his brother's eyes and said, "Look, buddy, she has absolutely no effect on us. We're better than her."

Sock was muddled, "Whadya mean?"

Boxer sighed and spoke, "I'm saying that she's a random nobody who is pointlessly barking trying to get attention. All this shit says more about her than it does about us. She's the complete opposite of us who is boasting about her superiority instead of just shutting up and going her own way. Remember what I talked to everyone about at school?"

Sock recalled Boxer's motto of lions not losing sleep over the opinions of the sheep, and those would just be the words would calm him down. He nodded his head to his big brother. "Yeah."

"Good. What else did I say?"

"Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of the sheep."

Boxer was delighted to have his brother back in the ballpark. ""That's fuggin' right! This skank has to be one of the most insecure people I've ever laid eyes on. She has nobody to blame but herself for getting offended by what we do."

"Really," Sock asked inquisitively.

Boxer reassured, "Yep. She's scared out of her wit's end by the possibility that her world isn't as shiny as all the others.

Suddenly, the two were interrupted by, believe it or not, the exact same video that they were discussing! Somehow, they were once again heard Haruhi's whiny voice as she continued to lambast the brothers. Again, who would waste such precious amounts of time and energy on this kind of shit?

"In fact, I have a challenge for these two! I dare these two to try and prove me wrong! I'll see them at school tomorrow and I ask for anyone who cares about good taste and decency to join me!"

Oh, it was fucking on now.

Next day had arrived, and we return to Daten City High School. Haruhi could be seen going about her day, or so it would seem, until she was called out by two certain brothers in the courtyard after lunch. Other than that, the day went by fairly uneventfully.

"Yo, Haruhi," Boxer spoke up. "We, uh, saw your rant online. Care to have a lil' powwow with us?"

Haruhi was wearing as usual her hawkish scowl, looking to point out the faults in anyone and everything. Today, however, the brothers of Anarchy were not having any of it as they accepted her "challenge." She marched over to the pair.

Boxer interrogated, "Okay, what's exactly is your beef with us? Have we personally and directly harmed you in some way?"

"Yes, you have, as a matter of fact," Haruhi prepared for her verbal assault.

"How?"

Thus she launched, "You two are sorely overrated. I don't see how you two ever got popular. You're both selfish, unlikable, rude, nasty, tasteless, and a laundry list of other things. What are you two trying to prove about yourselves, that you can do whatever you want without consequences? Why can't you two follow tradition just like everybody else? You're both a waste!"

The pair just stood there and only one of them was listening. Sock, the poor boy, could feel every word cut into him like a knife and he was fighting to hold back tears, but his big brother Boxer was wondering whether or not he remembered to turn the stove off before he left. It was finally after several minutes of red haired Haruhi's banter that the blonde jutted his hand out asking for silence. Haruhi couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Haruhi shouted in near rage, "NO! I will not be disrespected again! I have the right to…"

"SHUT. UP," Boxer asserted.

Haruhi bit her lip in discontent. If there was one thing that the bitch could not stand it was being put back in her place and being told be silent so that others may have a turn to defend themselves. Boxer then took his hand and placed it on his dark blue haired little brother's back, turning his attention to him now.

"Do you remember everything I told you?"

Sock nodded his head.

"Alright, go get 'em."

It appeared that Boxer was taking a back seat so that Sock could learn a lesson in assertiveness. Sock took a few deep breaths and waited a few moments to collect all his thoughts together. It was then that he returned the long favor and gave a glare that seemed to pierce Haruhi's heart just as much as she pierced his.

Sock then spoke up, "Haruhi, I have something to tell you."

"What is it," she roughly asked.

"You're dead wrong."

Haruhi's eyes widened in anger. How dare he? How dare this person disagree with me?!

Sock continued, "First, ask yourself this question; have I earned the right to speak about this person's life?"

"Yes," Haruhi returned.

"How so?"

"Free speech."

Sock was armed and ready, "Wrong. Free speech means that the government can't intervene in what you say. We can. If you were a real proponent of that, you would be dishing out all of your criticism at them."

Sock had nearly full knowledge of how the law worked and like a true anarchist, he learned them so he could ignore them. Haruhi did not like what she was hearing and looked to tighten her defense. Her glare appeared sharper.

"The second question I want you to ask yourself is have these people really offended me, or did I simply choose to get offended," Sock challenged back at her.

Haruhi shot, "Yes, you are offensive and vulgar! What you do affects me because…"

Sock didn't give a shit, ""If you're offended by any word in any language, by mere information, it's probably because your parents did a shit job raising you. You can write all the poems you want on how you're as free as a bird but the sad truth is that you are a caged tiger. You're bitter, angry, and hungry, and I think we can change that if you are open to it."

Haruhi's panties were really getting in a wad now, "How dare…"

Sock proposed another challenge, "The third question is do I personally go out of my way to piss people off."

"Yes," shouted Haruhi.

"How?!"

Haruhi's shell was beginning to crack, literally for some odd reason. "I have almost no friends because of you! I'm probably the only person in this whole damn city who doesn't like you two!" Holy shit, she did just crack! Other student began to crowd around to where the argument was taking place.

"And I don't care," Sock stated as a matter of fact. "I'm not looking for anyone's approval. Our popularity just clicked naturally. We did our own thing and everyone else came to us. We weren't looking for friends."

Haruhi cried out, "What about the rest of these people?! How do they know what's best for them?!"

Sock shook his head, "Again, I don't give two shits. It's their own lives and they get to decide what is best for them so long as it doesn't conflict with anybody else's. You have the choice to do the same but you instead want to control what me and my brother do, like a Nazi. Who is the really victim here, the one being controlled or the one fighting back against it?"

Haruhi's mouth laid open and her eyes were turning every which-way looking for anyone in her favor, but nobody even dared to speak for her. Sock briefly turned to his brother who rolled his hand telling Sock to keep going. Sock began to take a few steps closer to Haruhi who was backed into a corner. Sock was ready to deliver the final blow and end this pointless charade once and for all.

"The truth, Haruhi, is that you are the absolutist. You believe that everything should follow out your desires instead of going down your own path. The only thing that you are entitled to is to live your life the way you see fit, but it seems you're the one making a waste of it. Other than that, all bets are off, and let me tell you something."

"The moment you decide that my brother and I should fall in line with your beliefs is the moment I proudly declare with a booming voice 'FUCK YOU!' Fuck you, fuck your opinions, fuck your 'right' to those opinions, fuck the parents that birthed you, and FUCK THE GOD YOU WORSHIP!

Everyone's mouths in the courtyard were completely agape save Boxer's who was wearing a satisfied pearly white smile. After what felt like several minutes, the courtyard exploded in cheers by the other students praising Sock for his brave defense of individuality. People began to jump on him in happiness.

"Yeah! That's how you shut down a ho!"

"Man, I'm too cool to be anyone's fool!"

Sock stood triumphantly over Haruhi…who was about to make a shocking revelation. That shell cracking was not a sign of nothing. Haruhi stood up and in a deadpan voice that covered untold fury, "Fuck it, I'm a ghost."

Both Sock and Boxer could only go, "Say wha?"

Then shit happened. Haruhi revealed her true form, some giant weird ass multi-armed black, red, and orange monstrosity that started grabbing other students and eating them! In addition, she transformed the courtyard into what seemed like a volcanic arena with magma pits, columns, stalagmites, and floating platforms.

Ghost Haruhi roared, "YOU LITTLE SHITNUGGETS! YOU WILL RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!"

Sock was ready to cut loose, "Not until you respect deez nuts!"

"FUCK YOU," she cursed.

"Fuck you," he cursed back.

"FUCK YYYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH," the ghost screamed as it purged up the students it devoured. Sock dodged immediately out of the way and jumped to hang onto one of the columns. Boxer just sat on one tiny platform having a smoke because this was his brother's fight. He couldn't help but shed a small tear of pride seeing his little brother come out of his sensitive shell. Meanwhile, Sock took another jump onto the monster's back took one fierce stab into it.

The ghost tried to make its point again, "YOU FUCKING CUMGUZZLER! I'LL MAKE YOU SEE THAT MY WAY IS THE RIGHT WAY!"

Sock was not impressed, "I once again refer you to deez nuts!"

Sock took a small leap, thrusting his sword deep into the ghost's back. The beast tried to shake him off but he kept holding on to both his sword and his individuality. Sock began to climb his way up onto the hideous creature of conformity's head where he took his sword and laid in another spiteful stab. It was the same kind of spite that Haruhi gave to the brothers as she demonized them for daring to break from the norm.

The monster roared again, "AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH! I'M GOING TO TEAR YOUR MOUTH OFF AND TAKE A SHIT INSIDE YOUR THROAT!

Sock responded by jumping real high into the air, doing a few twists and falling back down…into Haruhi's mouth. Sock just let himself get eaten by a ghost. Yep, just like that.

"THAT'S IT? YES! TODAY IS A WONDERFUL DAY FOR GOOD TA…BLAAARRGGGGGGHHHHH!"

"Sorry, did you say something?"

Wait, scratch that! Sock let himself get eaten just so he do more damage to the thing from the inside out, as well as free the students who were being digested. Good thinking, Sock! Haruhi fell to the ground half vomiting and half trying to catch her breath.

Well, it's been fun, but as they say, all good things must come to an end. Sock climbed out of the monster's mouth and made his way to its face. Haruhi could do nothing except lay there in excruciating pain until her eyes met Sock's. She took a loud gulp in fear of what was coming next.

Sock spoke in seemingly genuine regret, "Ya know, Haruhi, we could've been great friends. It's my brother's motto that the lion or wolves or insert carnivorous animal here don't lose sleep over the opinions of the sheep. But sadly, it's time to take this one to the slaughter. Repent, motherfucker."

With the sound of his sword cutting into her three times, it was time to ring the ghost's death knell. The monster gave out one last curse-filled death cry at Sock for failing to see him conformed to its way. It would then explode and splatter itself everywhere.

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SPEEEEEEEEEEEECH!"

With the slaying of the ghost complete, the bell of Daten City Church announced that an unfortunate soul had been exorcised, or at least that what everyone assumed. Sock dusted himself off of the fucker's innards as Boxer came over flipping the coin. "So, Sock, what'd we learn today," he asked.

"I learned that feelings are overrated," he spoke out after this experience. "You're a lost cause if you think your opinions are everything. They're for nothing but mental masturbation. What's the point of people having one if we're just gonna do what we do like always?"

"Excellent," Boxer said as he came over and patted his little brother on the back.

"So I guess today's early release," the emo angel asked looking over the destruction.

END

"Hey, did you hear that one kid is literally a motherfucker?"