Summary: Every time she opened the drawer, memories flowed back. She wanted to forget, but she couldn't. Oneshot.
A/N: Hi everyone. I'm not in the best of moods lately even though I'm usually hyper and random. I would rather not go into details, but let's just say...being heartbroken is not a good thing.
Behind A Closed Drawer
A Oneshot by FutureStArLeT101
Everyone knew she wasn't herself anymore. They saw it in her eyes. That usual uplifting spark of enthusiasm in her brown eyes had quickly disappeared. They seemed dull and no longer had life in them. Her confident strut had now transformed into a woeful drag of her feet. It was like walking was pointless when she felt as if she couldn't go on any longer without him. She never smiled. Not even a little. Everyday seemed to drag on and on in one big blur, like nothing really mattered to her anymore.
In other words, she was dead inside without him.
FLASHBACK
"So, what did you wanna tell me?" she asked her best friend. He seemed hesitant. She wondered why. "Okay, how many times do I have to say this? You can tell me anything."
She gave him a reassuring smile and his hand a small squeeze.
"I just dunno if you really wanna hear it, you know?" he questioned.
"I do," she reminded him. "Now, tell me before I get out Quinn's Mind-Reader 2000!" He gave a small laugh.
"Are you sure you want to know?" he asked one more time. She nodded, excitement in her eyes with a tinge of curiosity. "Okay…I love you." She gave a relieved smile.
She knew it. She had known all along.
END FLASHBACK
Her friends would give her comforting words everyday.
"He will always be in your heart, even though he's not physically next to you."
"If it helps, I'm working on a cloning machine and I may be able to clone him in ten or so years."
"We all miss him. You're not alone, even though you might really feel like ya do. We're here for you."
"Look, you need to stay strong…like me. He would want you to. Sorry if that sounded mean. I'm bad in the comfort department."
She didn't believe any of them, even for a second. It was hard enough to believe in herself.
She missed him so much it hurt. For all fifteen years of her life, she had never felt so hurt in her entire life. She could barely remember the last time she was happy, which in reality was only three or so months ago.
FLASHBACK
They walked hand in hand to her dorm hall.
"…but if one pudding in pudding, then isn't two of them puddings?"
"No," she corrected with a laugh. "It's still pudding…I think."
"Aha! So you don't know either!" he celebrated triumphantly. They were now at her dorm room.
"I had sooo much fun today!" she smiled like life was perfect. In her mind, it was now, at this very moment. "Even if you did spill your diet Coke all over the waiter!"
"Hey, I gave Kazu a generous tip!" he defended. There was a long but not at all awkward silence between the two. "Well…goodnight…"
Slowly but surely, he lifted up her chin and their lips softly met. It was their very first kiss. It felt so right. It only lasted a few seconds but to both of them, it felt like it lasted en eternity. Finally, they pulled apart, and she opened the door to her room.
"Good night," she said, and whispered the words that changed her life. "I love you." She gave him a hug and he happily returned.
"How was it?" he roommates had eagerly asked her when she strutted through the door feeling like nothing could ever go wrong again.
Perfect was the only word to describe it.
END FLASHBACK
Memories shattered her heart instead of warmed it because she knew that no matter what, she would never be able to see his smile again. She would never be able to feel his lips, his tough, his love, ever again. She wanted so badly to know what she had done wrong to deserve this pain. She wished so hard that he had told her his feelings sooner so they would've had three years of happiness together, going through the good and the bad of PCA as a couple.
But no.
She had lost her true love.
She had lost her best friend.
Therefore…
She had lost herself along the way.
She couldn't understand how everyone else could go by each day like he never existed. Didn't they miss him, their friend, as much as she did. I guess not…because…
She was in love with him.
But there was one mystery that was still unsolved. In one way she desperately wanted to uncover it…but the fear of gaining even more of the devastation which she had been suffering so painfully from held her back.
FLASHBACK
"I want you to have something." He told her on their one month anniversary. She smiled. This was it. All week he had hinted about an amazing gift, and though she didn't want to give him too much satisfaction, she was so, so excited to know what it was.
She gently handed her a silver, little box. Excitement filled her eyes as she lifted off the top…
And gasped.
Within the box was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. It was so simple, yet beautiful all the same. It was a silver heart shaped locket on a thin chain. The heart was surrounded by sapphires, her birth stone.
"Oh my gosh!" she squealed. "This is beautiful, amazing! I love it!"
"Well, I had to get you something that equally matched how amazing you are," he told her, blushing. She kissed his cheek. He was her everything, right there and then. She couldn't imagine living without him.
"Thank you so very much! I love you!" she cried. He smiled at his happy dream girl. She had gotten him a gold watch, but planned on giving it to him at dinner later.
She was so busy admiring the beautiful piece of jewelry, she didn't realize that she had accidentally wandered off into the street.
He gasped as he saw a truck speeding by…
Bright lights shined brightly in her eyes. She was frozen in fear…
He ran into the streets and jumped for her for his life and pushed her out of the way.
She tumbled onto the spiky grass across the street…
There was a honking sound…and a scream…and…
A sickening, heartbreaking crunch.
All she remembered after that were the doctor's words…
"I'm sorry, Zoey. We…could not help Chase." Zoey lost him that day. She lost herself. She lost everything and found there was nothing left to go looking for…
He was gone.
END FLASHBACK
The silver locket stayed locked up tight behind the closed drawer of her bedside table. She never looked at it again. The pain just hurt her too much to add more. Not only did that locket contain the happy memories that would only make here cry more…
But it was the reason he was out of her life.
Zoey Brooks now lay helplessly on her dorm room bed staring at the ceiling. She wanted to know what happened to herself. Had she died, too? Would life ever be the same again? No matter how hard she tried, his face stayed in her mind. She loved him so much. Ever since that time when he cheated on that personality test for the school dance her first year there. The rest of the world seemed so far away. Or maybe she was far away from the rest of the world. She didn't know.
Lola Martinez and Quinn Pensky walked through the door of room 101 laughing. They stopped abruptly when they saw Zoey.
They didn't bother inquiring Zoey on anything. They simply gave a small smile to her and retreated to their own beds and began typing on their colored laptops.
How she wished she could be like them. She only have memories of feeling the way they do. It bothered her all the time.
But she just missed him so much. They used to be a group of six: Quinn, Lola, Loga, Michael…Chase…and her. Now there was five. And it happened so fast. She missed that bushy hair so badly. He was irreplaceable. He was the one for her. She needed him so badly now. Why was she such a wreck?
She used to be so confident and the problem-solver. She couldn't remember the last time she had been of use to anyone…except Chase.
Chase…
Tears welled up in her eyes as she remembered. She didn't know what had come over her, but she hesitantly opened her drawer which had been closed for a long amount of time…
There it was. The silver locket, just as shining and beautiful and untouched as it had been three months ago.
She fingered the sapphires on the heart. They were as beautiful as happiness. Memories flew back in her face like a gust of wind. She couldn't handle the stress. She squeezed the necklace tightly.
All of a sudden, the locket popped open and a small, little paper fell out.
Zoey gasped in surprise, her heart beating faster and faster. She slowly opened the little piece of paper and then quickly shut it.
It was in the handwriting on Chase Matthews.
Shivering, she slowly opened the note and read its contents.
To Zoey,
We've been together for exactly an month. You've been counting the days until this day…our month anniversary. I realized that I've told you I love you, but…I've never really explained myself. I've loved you ever since I saw you that day when you came to PCA. I had lived through my life feeling that there was something very important piece missing in my heart. Guess what?
It was you.
You are so special that even a million small, little notes wouldn't be able to cover everything. I just want you to know that I want you to always be happy. That's my one request from you…but…if I think of more, I'll tell you later.
Zoey Brooks, you are an amazing girlfriend and the world's greatest best friend whom I couldn't replace with anyone. Whatever happens, keep smiling your beautiful smile and keep shining the true star that you have always been in mine and everyone's eyes.
I love you. I always have. I always will.
Love Chase
By now Zoey was in tears. It was a beautiful note.
Chase wanted her to be happy, to smile, to shine. It was his last request.
And for the first time in months…
Zoey Brooks smiled.
Lola and Quinn noticed this immediately and sighed in happiness, racing over to her after.
"You okay, Zoey?" Lola asked with hope. They both waited anxiously for an answer. Zoey sighed and nodded.
"Yeah," she answered with a small smile. "I'm okay." They gave her one huge hug each.
"I'm so glad!" Lola cried happily. "Do you want to come down and get some pizza with Quinn and me?" Zoey nodded.
"Okay," she agreed, and got up from her bed. Her friends began to head out the door but stopped when they noticed that Zoey wasn't following them.
"You coming?" Quinn inquired. Zoey nodded and smiled for the third time that day.
"Yeah, I'll be right out." They waited down the hall.
Zoey sat back down on her bed and sighed. Things were looking up. Maybe she would find herself again soon enough.
She tucked the note back into her gorgeous locket and put the chain around her neck and clasped it. It fell right next to her key necklace. Then, she headed out the door to meet up with her friends.
The drawer by her bedside table was wide open.
Maybe…just maybe…it would stay that way…
Chase would want it to.
A/N: Did you guys like it? I hope so. This story was kind of for me. This didn't happen to me, but I needed to write a sad story. Well…review please!
FutureStArLeT101