Title of Story: Midlife Crisis

Rating: M

Pairing: Ana and Christian

Genre: Heartache/Drama

Word Count: 10,287

Story Summary: What kind of pain does a woman goes through when her husband has a mid-life crisis? Should she leave? Why did He stray? Is adultery the end of a marriage?

Standard Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

*O*o*O*

The nights are so long when one sleeps without their beloved spouse. Ana Steele Grey was not alone though. Her two and half year old son, Nicholas Elliot, slept beside her…actually he slept draped over her very pregnant body. In less than two months, another son would be born to Christian and Ana. She had decided that this would be their last child, she already made arrangements to have a tubal since she would have this child by c-section. Ana sighed heavily as Nicholas snuggled even deeper into her side. Ana smiled lovingly at her child who so resembled his father with copper colored curls and those gray eyes. She thought of her other children. Teddy was now nine years old and such a gentleman. He also had copper colored curls, but he had Ana's vivid blue eyes. Phoebe was Ana's mini-me, but her personality was all Christian, as an impatient and demanding seven year old. Sarah Grace who just celebrated her fifth birthday was a sweet blend of her parents. She had brunette hair with copper highlights with blue eyes that had small specs of pewter. She was a well-mannered child, much like Teddy. Nicholas was Christian's son through and through from his temperament to his looks. He demanded much from his mother and let the world know when he was unhappy. Ana worried that he would be the most put out of all the children when the last and final child was born. Nicholas did not like to share his mother with anyone!

Ana noticed that the alarm clock clicked off another minute. It was ten after two in the morning and Christian was not home. She carefully slid from underneath her son and padded quietly to the bathroom. She relieved her bladder and took a moment to study herself in the mirror. She was no longer the sweet faced 21-year-old that Christian fell in love with. Ten years of marriage and four children had matured her. She was still a lovely woman at the age of 31. Her body had changed. She was no longer reed thin. Having babies had rounded her body through the hips and her breasts were two cups larger. She hadn't seen 108 pounds since before she got pregnant with Teddy. She was nearly 150 pounds, but she knew she would lose most of it after the baby was born. She would work out with her trainer and get back to her usual 125 to 128 pounds. She would never be a size 2, but then again, she was a mother of four, soon to be five. Ana splashed a handful of cool water against her heated face. She knew something was wrong. She had been feeling this way for the last few months. Her marriage was not as happy as everyone thought. Christian was standoffish and at times cold towards her. He complained that she never had time for him, her husband, but then complained when she was bold and demanded his time and attention. She just felt she couldn't win in her relationship with her husband. They had lost their way. They had let life, their occupations, the social engagements and responsibilities, and the children interfere with their marriage. She couldn't remember the last time she had been held in his loving arms. Their sex life had screeched to a halt when the morning sickness became severe and lasted all day for weeks. Then the exhaustion and fatigued plagued her. She just didn't have anything left for her husband! Every piece of her was spoken for. The sound of Nicholas waking made Ana retreat from her thoughts. No matter what, she was always still a mother.

Morning came with the usual flurry of activity. Teddy and Phoebe were getting ready for school, Sarah had preschool, and Nicholas was prepared for his weekly stay with Grandma Grace instead of going to daycare at Grey Publishing. Ana and Gail made sure the children were fed and then dressed for their day. Ana found a few moments to have a cup of tea. She looked up to see Jason walking in with the newspapers.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Grey." He said lowly.

"Good Morning, Taylor." She giggled because even after ten years of protecting her, he still could not bring himself to call her Ana. "So, how goes the security forces today?"

"Running like clockwork, Ma'am." He said with a small smile. "I will be your CPO today and Clinton will be on Mr. Grey, Sawyer will be on Teddy, Reynolds, on Phoebe, Raelinda will be watching over Sarah, and Nicholas will have Ryan who is also watching over Dr. Grey today."

"It seems that you have everything under control, Jason. I can always count on you." She gave him a small smile. She took a sip of her tea. "What time did Christian get home last night?"

"It was late, Ma'am."

"Taylor…Jason…don't cover for him. I know something is going on. I can feel it. Something is very wrong in our lives and I think I have the right to know."

Jason Taylor was at a crossroads. He didn't want to hurt this lovely lady by telling her the truth. How could he tell her the life that she was living was about to crash and burn? "Mrs. Grey, I…" He couldn't do it. He couldn't be the one to tell her the truth. He couldn't be the one to break her heart.

Ana could see the discomfort and pain on Taylor's face. This was a man who was conflicted in his loyalties. She slowly slid off the kitchen bar stool. "Who is she, Taylor? I know there is another woman. I know my husband, he won't go too long without sex and God knows he's not fucking me." Her voice was low and hoarse. She finally voiced her worst fear. She prayed this was only a fear, a figment of her pregnant brain. "Taylor, if he is…if there is another…I need to know…don't let him drag you into his betrayal."

Jason Taylor was nut-deep into this betrayal and it was killing him. He covered for his boss. He had lied to Mrs. Grey, to the children, and worse….He had lied to his wife! Gail had come out and questioned him about Mr. Grey's late nights and overnight meetings. Seeing Ana standing before him with her blue eyes full of tears and her belly protruding with her child, he knew where his loyalty needed to be. He owed it to her to be there for her. She had been the one good thing in Mr. Grey's life, bringing him love, gentleness, the feeling of home, and their children. He had a difficult time coming to the realization that Christian had a mistress. When it came to his attention, the affair had been going on for over a month, about the time that Christian reassigned him to take over Ana's detail as had been done during her other pregnancies.

"Mrs. Grey, it would be best if you accompany me to the security offices. What I have to say needs to be said in privacy."

*O*o*O*

"Her name is Natalie Johnson and she works at Neiman Marcus in Bellevue as a personal shopper. She is 24 years old, a college dropout, and lives in a small studio apartment not far from her work. She has an arrest record, a drunk and disorderly when a student at the University of Washington. Her parents are middle class working people, and she has an older brother and a younger sister. She has about two thousand in the bank, five hundred of that in savings."

"You mean that she's not receiving the "submissive special?" Ana asked wide-eyed. "Mr. Grey has changed his methods. No little red sports-car? No upper-end townhouse? No expensive gifts and wardrobes?" Taylor shook his head. "Is she a submissive? Has he returned to BDSM?"

"No, Ana, she is just a skanky whore that he is getting his jollies off on." Taylor's voice sounded out his disgust with this situation. "I am so sorry, Ana for my part in this. I am so ashamed."

"There's not much you could have done, Jason. He's your boss. He pays your wages." Ana picked up the photograph of the woman that was fucking her husband. She had to admit, Natalie Jayne Johnson was a lovely woman with long light brown hair and pretty sky blue eyes. Miss Johnson was taller than Ana and thinner. "She is pretty. She is just his type."

"He meets her at cheap motels off the interstate. They are never seen together or travel together. She usually books the rooms in a fake name, pays with cash, and he joins her after she arrives at the room." Ana only nodded that she heard him. She showed no emotions. Taylor expected her to at least cry, but she sat there as if considering her next move.

Ana nodded once again. "And, that was where he was at last night instead of coming home to his wife and children? He stayed with his whore?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I am so sorry, Ma'am, so very sorry." He hung his head in shame. He never wanted to hurt this sweet and kind woman. "If you want me to resign, I will. I understand completely if you want me gone." Ana began to laugh which startled Taylor. Had the woman lost her mind? Had ten years of marriage to a difficult man such as Christian Grey finally unhinged her? "Mrs. Grey?"

"You are going to stay right where you are at. Believe me, Taylor…I will need you more than ever now." She gently rubbed her protruding belly where Baby Grey slept. "You are going to help me get rid of a marriage busting bitch in heat and put my husband in his place." She sat at the console table staring at the wall of monitors that kept an eye on Grey Family Complex. Every room except the bathrooms had cameras that could be turned on and off at the discretion of Security. "I want proof of his infidelity in photographs, video and audio. When I am done with Christian, he will know who the Dom in this family is!"

Storms that appear out of nowhere are the most dangerous storms. Hurricane Ana rolled into formation the moment she procured Jason and Gail Taylor as her allies! For the time being, anything and everything was being done in strict stealth. Life was so normal at the Grey household that no one could even fathom that hell was about to rain down on Christian Grey and his whore! Once Ana was satisfied with the groundwork that was done, she let loose the hounds of hell and it started with a phone call to a good friend!

Peggy Collins was a college friend of Ana Steele Grey and Kate Kavanagh Grey. They had classes together and enjoyed a few pizzas and beers together. They kept in touch as all their careers were in Seattle and seemed to intermingle. Kate worked at the Seattle Times as Chief Editor, Ana was at Grey Publishing, and Peggy Collins was the West Coast Manager of Neiman Marcus International. Ana made only one phone call on a secure phone and all her plans began to mobilize. As Ana wanted, Natalie Johnson was called into the District offices and given a promotion. She was now being trained to become an international buyer for the company. With the promotion came an eight week in-the-field training program which started in Paris, France and ended up in Hong Kong. Ana made sure that her husband's new toy would be too busy to spread her legs for him. Ana smiled when Peggy called to let her know that Ms. Johnson was on a plane headed to New York City, then on to Paris, France. The very ambitious young woman was so entrenched with her new career that she did not bother to tell her lover that she was leaving the country. Christian had no idea that his little slut was gone and would stay gone! The next day a dozen long-stem scarlet and cream roses were delivered to the office desk of Peggy Collins from a grateful friend. Peggy sat back in her chair and laughed. "Whatever you did Natalie…god help you if Ana Steele Grey is after you!"

The four Grey children were on their best behavior as they sat around the dining room table enjoying an evening meal with both parents. Ana was all smiles as she interacted with the children. She gave no signs of a woman scorned and ready for revenge. She lovingly stared into her husband's eyes when he bothered to pay attention to her.

"How was your day, Christian? I didn't have a chance to ask you at the table with the children chattering about their day." Ana asked softly as she and Christian sat in the living room before a roaring fire. It was a chilly October night. He was having a glass of red wine as she sipped on a cup of hot tea with honey.

"The usual, one deal after another." He said with a small smile. "And, how was your day?"

"I stayed home today and nested as Gail would say. I unpacked and packed the hospital bags and made sure the nursery is completely stocked and ready for Baby Boy Grey." She gently caressed her baby bump. "I did take time to call into Grey Publishing and made sure that Hannah and Abigail are holding down the fort. Everything is well at GP." She took a breath. "I am officially on maternity leave."

Christian had to laugh. "I will bet my weight in gold that you have a few manuscripts hidden about for some light reading."

"You would win that bet, my love." Ana said with her flirty smile. "I do love a good book." She shyly looked down at her teacup, feeling her face flush when she noticed that all familiar sexual gleam in Christian's grey eyes. It had been awhile since she had seen those eyes turn into that sexy stormy steaming pewter color that made her insides clinch with excitement. His eyes were transfixed on her heavy bosom. The royal blue maternity dress that she wore encased her breasts gloriously. She swore she heard him groan which made her nipples harden on their own. She hated herself for still wanting him…for still needing him…for being so damn hot for him! If it wasn't for her fear of STD's, she would have launched herself at him and had her way with him. She longed to taste the saltiness of his skin as she licked and sucked on his cock. She wanted to hear him moan her name with need and want! "Christian," She breathed as he slid closer to her.

"It's been awhile. We've been so damn busy…and I apologize for that. It's my own fault. I've let other things take my attention away from you and the children." He gently took her cup of tea and placed it on the cocktail table along with his empty wine glass. His big hands tenderly caressed her face. "I love you, Ana. I love you so much." His hungry lips devoured hers as he pulled her close. Her essence worked its magic on him. He was lost in desire for his wife. He had forgotten how sweet her kisses were. He had dismissed how perfect they fit together. The power of his need for her filled his senses as he kissed her harder.

Ana almost gave into his seduction, but she remembered the evidence that she had hidden away. She had photographs, video and audio of Christian fucking another woman. She was about to pull away when she felt a warmth spread over her chest. She looked down to see that her breasts were leaking and she couldn't be happier to see it. She pushed Christian away. "Oh, my." She breathed. "I guess I'm getting closer to my time." Even though she had given this man four children and he had seen her in various stages of dress, in very intimate situations, she still blushed. Christian looked down to see that her dress was soaked with milk.

"It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful your body is. You take care of me, of the children. You feed them from your own body, you hold them intimately for nine months. Anastasia, you are extraordinary!"

"I have to get out of this before it stains or the moisture irritates my nipples." She got up slowly, using Christian's offered hand to steady herself. "I'm sorry about this…I mean we…were…so…"

"Baby, it's alright. Our child comes first." Christian gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Ana stood in her closet listening in on Christian's attempted phone call to his mistress. Using a few illegal tricks, Taylor was able to tap into Christian's phone without his knowledge. Every call Christian made was catalogued, recorded, and an alert was sent to Ana. She smiled as Christian tried again and again to get his whore on the phone. "Not tonight, loverboy. Never again."

*O*o*O*

With a smirk, Ana watched as Christian stalked out of their house a few days later with a frown and yelling into his phone as he made his way into the car. Clinton closed the door and made his way to the driver's seat. She knew that her husband was stumped! He couldn't find his little play-toy. Ms. Johnson could not be found or be tracked. Her apartment was still in her name and it looked as if someone was living there. Her old car was seen around the neighborhood and her mail had not be stopped. Christian knew she was still in Seattle, but was avoiding him for some reason. Not knowing was driving him mad and Ana enjoyed watching him. She knew she would be called cruel for taking pleasure in his frustration however, what about the cruelty that he burden her with. What about the feelings of inadequacy that his affair resurfaced in her mind? When she was alone, those long forgotten feelings of not being enough for Christian would arise. She was twenty-one once again and unsure of her feelings, unsure of his feelings, frightened of what could happen if Christian decided he no longer wanted her. Now, she had to reflect on her own feelings. Did she still love him? Could she still love him even though he cheated? Was he worth all the pain? Could she keep her family together and learn to trust him once again? All these thoughts raced through her mind as Ana watched as her husband's car rolled down the driveway. "Let the game begin…."

Christian stood at the window in his office at GEH staring out over the city he called his own. He was at a loss. How could one person be so inaccessible? It had been over two weeks since he talked to Natalie. He knew she was still in Seattle. The rent on her apartment was paid, her mail service was still active and he knew that she picked up her mail almost daily. He had his people watching her apartment and got daily reports of her coming and going. She was always alone. He could not take a chance of visiting her at her apartment or at her work for fear of someone learning about their affair. He couldn't let that bit of information become public. He would be ostracized for cheating on his beautiful, loyal, and pregnant wife. The only good thing of not having Natalie to soothe his male ego, he was at home more often. He had forgotten how sweet, loving, and precious his children were. He had forgotten all that Ana had brought him. She loved him even with his issues. She had seen past his anger and coldness and he repaid her by sleeping with another woman. "What have I done? Oh, god…Ana will kill me if she ever finds out. I have to end this now!" He bellowed for his assistant, Andrea to get his car and driver immediately. It took only a few minutes and Christian was in the back of his Audi telling his driver where to go. Within seconds of the car moving, an alert went to Taylor who in turn notified Mrs. Ana Grey.

Showtime!

Christian stood outside the door of his hidden lover's apartment. He tried to knock a few times, but he couldn't. He was scared of what he might do if Natalie invited him in. Would he fuck her one last time? Was he really that crass and egotistical? Finally, he found his balls and knocked. She was just a little brown-haired woman who let him fuck her senseless. She knew that this relationship was just about sex. There was no love involved, only pure, hot, sweaty sex. Half the time he pretended she was Ana. He even called out his wife's name when he climaxed into the condom he always wore! He was about to knock once again when he heard a voice.

"Come in."

He was cautious when he opened the door and stepped into the modest apartment. He had never been there before and he was uncomfortable being in a place where his security had not vetted. He slowly made his way into the living room/dining room. He noticed that the apartment was very clean and well decorated. His eyes adjusted to the low lit room and he saw her standing by the plate glass window. Her back was to him.

"It's over Natalie. I can't do this anymore. I can't hurt my marriage anymore. I can't lose my wife. I love her so much…she's everything to me. I forgot that. I didn't see it because of my selfish blindness. If I hurt you…I'm so sorry…this is all my fault." He waited for her reply but she stood silent staring out the window. "Whatever you need to make a new life for yourself, I will make available to you…" The laughter that came from the person in front of the window shocked Christian into silence. His eyes grew large and he turned white in fear when the person turned around. "Ana!"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Christian, but your little whore no longer lives here or in Seattle." She announced with a cold disdain in her voice. "I got rid of her."

"You got rid of her?" Christian asked as he ran his hand through his copper mop. His heart was racing and he felt like he could pass out. He looked around, hoping and praying that he was in the middle of a nightmare, but damn it, he couldn't wake up! This was real…fucking real! "Ana, it's not like you think? I can explain…it was just…"

"Sex. It was just sex. Yes, I know." Ana took a step towards him. "I know all about your little fuckfest with Natalie Jayne Johnson. I even know her bra size! I even know where she is at right now." She gave a little smirk that was pure evil and meant to bedevil him. "Wanna know?" She took another step closer to her husband. Her blue eyes were hard and cold. This was not the loving and warm Ana that Christian took for granted. This woman was calmly pissed off and far more dangerous than a fist swinging, sailor cussing scorned woman. Christian took a few steps back from his little wife. Ana halted and pouted. "Oh, Christian, you wound me. Don't you want to be near me? Don't you love me anymore?" She began to laugh. "Or, do I scare the shit out of you? You should be afraid, Mr. Grey…very, very afraid!"

"What are you going to do?" His voice was barely a whisper. He was visibly frightened of his wife.

"Oh, I don't know…I could have Ms. Johnson disappear forever and never be found," She raised her eyebrows to make that point. "I can also make you disappear right along with her. Maybe a murder/suicide scenario, of course, she would be the perpetrator and you the poor victim of a deranged stalker, and of course, I will be the grieving widow with five children to raise on my own." Ana sat on the sofa to take the pressure off her legs. "Can you imagine the headlines? 'The Tycoon gunned down by a love-struck stalker'... such poetic justice, don't you think?"

"Ana…I swear that I have never done this before. I made a mistake. I thought … I thought that you didn't want me anymore."

Ana rolled her eyes. "Are you shittin' me, Christian? We have four children with one on the way. If I loved you anymore, you wouldn't be walking!" Ana could see the fear on his face. She wanted him afraid. She wanted him to worry. She wanted him to feel guilty. "I have never known another man. You have been my one and only lover," She swallowed an angry sob. "And, I am proud of that. I thought you thought the same way I did, that our marriage vows were scared. Our marriage was sacred. Our love would be enough, but I guess I was wrong. I wasn't enough, was I Christian? What did she give you that I didn't?"

"Nothing."

"So you fucked her for nothing." Ana stood up. "Ok, fine…then I will do the same for you. I will leave you with nothing. I take everything, the children, the homes including Escala, all the vehicles, and GEH. You will stay on as CEO but I own everything. You may stay at Escala for the time being, but if you dare to bring a woman or a sub into my apartment, you will be thrown out. You will have access to a driver and a limo…the R8s are gone, the Audi fleet is gone and Clinton is gone! You will only have access to the aviation fleet for business only. I will get back with you about visitation with the children."

"You can't do this, Ana." He protested when he realized what she was saying.

"You are telling me what I can and cannot do while standing in the living room of your whore…now that takes some balls!" She had to laugh. "Your clothing and belongings are being moved to Escala as we speak. Mrs. Taylor will be by once a week to clean and fill your panty and freezer. I suggest you learn how to cook, or at least become well acquainted with the microwave. Jason and Sawyer will be staying on with me to guard the children and the estate, I will assign someone else to be your CPO. Your life is now in my hands, Mr. Grey. I am the Dominant now and you are my bitch!"

*O*o*O*

When one is banished from home and family, one has time to ponder the error of their ways, and Christian was pondering why he was such a fuck-up! How could he ever think that Ana had stopped loving and wanting him? She was correct when she said if she loved him anymore he wouldn't be able to walk.

What a fool I am! I had everything. A beautiful, intelligent, talented, and wildly sexy wife, four wonderful children, a very successful business and more money than any one person could spend in a thousand years. I had everything! What in the world did I think I would accomplish by taking a mistress? Fuck, she wasn't even that good, well…not as good as Ana! It was just new pussy! Something different! Someone to boost my ego and make me feel like the Master of the Universe that I used to be. Fuck, what have I done? What have I done to my family? It's been almost two weeks since Ana sabotaged me at Natalie's apartment. I have seen the children every Wednesday at the Penthouse with Jason and Gail present. My wife does not trust me with our children!

My parents can barely look at me. I have broken my mother's heart. She can't even look at me without crying a river, and Dad, well he just told me that I was the dumbest motherfucker he has ever met and I deserve everything that Ana does to me! I have to agree with the Ole Man, he hit the nail on the head. As Ana promised me in Natalie's apartment, she was taking over. She now owns everything! She owns GEH, the transportation fleet, all the property that we have acquired since we have been married and even before we got married. She let me keep my position as CEO of GEH, but she has me on a budget and a salary. I actually have to watch my spending. The days of picking up a phone and demanding the newest gadget on the market is over. My wife owns my balls and my ass!

And, my ass is something that Elliot and Kate would love to kick all over Seattle. I sat through an ass-chewing from my older brother and his wife. I even took a couple of slaps from my sister-in-law. I don't think she will ever forgive me and I don't blame her. I destroyed my life, my marriage, and I hurt the only woman that I would ever love. I am a piece of shit! And, for what? I just don't know why I did this. I just don't understand why I would risk everything to be with a woman that I don't give a crap about and don't even care where she is.

I walk around the Penthouse reliving happy memories from early in our marriage. Teddy was probably conceived here. Ana and I spent many a date night upstairs in the Red Room experimenting sexually and expanding our experiences together. In this penthouse, I learned how to love and to be loved! How did I fuck this up so badly? Can we recover? Will she ever let me come home? Will my son be born without me? Fuck…why am I my own worst enemy? Why did I ever look a second time at a woman that could never be my Ana?

Christian was used to women staring after him as he walked into a room and usually he dismissed them without a thought, but that one girl. That girl at Neiman Marcus that was always so quick to pay attention to him, listen to him, and cater to his wants and needs. Natalie had been his personal shopper and attendant when he came to shop for his wife, mother, and other family members. She had been vetted by the store's security and his own. He considered her just another employee, but she always made him feel so special when he arrived at the store at the most ungodly hours so not to shop with the public glaring at him. She was always well-dressed, always polite and at times a bit flirty, but not too much. She knew fashion and what would be a perfect gift for his needs. When he was with Natalie he felt young again and carefree. For that little bit of time, he was a young stud, not the thirty-seven year old father of four, soon to be five. It started out innocently enough. He would ask to meet her in the early morning hours and then take her for breakfast as a way to show his appreciation. They talked over French toast and had coffee. They made jokes, they talked about politics, the state of the environment, and the arts. He enjoyed having her full attention. He didn't have to share her with children, a charity, or a community event, a career, or the hundred other things that came in between him and Ana. The sex began rather quickly, with just a brush of their hands against each other. She smiled shyly at him and reached over and began to stroke his already hard cock. Their first sexual encounter was in the back of his car with her giving him a blowjob while Taylor drove back to Neiman Marcus! That was the last time he ever rode in a car with her. He wanted to fuck her, but they would have to be very careful. Together they decided that they would meet at cheap road-side motels, she would check in, pay with cash, and he would join her. They would meet every other day, at different times so there was no pattern that could be noticed. It was only sex for Christian. Hard, pounding fucking that made him feel like "The Man"! He would leave her exhausted in the bed and return to work without anyone knowing about his extra-curricular activities except for Taylor. A week after the affair started, Clinton replaced Taylor who refused to drive his boss to meet the mistress. Taylor said he would stay quiet because it was not his place to tell Mrs. Grey, but he let Christian know that he did not approve! Christian only laughed in his face and told Jason that it wasn't his place to approve or disapprove.

At first Christian was at ease with this situation. He didn't feel he was doing anything wrong. What Ana didn't know, wouldn't hurt her? This was only temporary. Only until Ana was no longer pregnant. He had already decided that they would hire more help to free up time for them. He didn't want to replace Ana…he just wanted to get laid, to be the center of Ana's attention, and he wanted to feel like he did when they first got married. In his mind, he was only hiring Miss Johnson to do a job. There was no romance, he didn't bring her flowers, and they call what they were doing a love affair. They never spent the night together… until…

It changed when Ana and Christian had a horrible fight about her working too much. He accused her of not being home with the children as she should be and she was right back at him that he could stay at home more instead of running off in the very early hours of the morning and not returning until everyone was in bed. Christian stormed out of the house and left without his security. Ana fumed for a while, but then remembered she had children and didn't have time to deal with a grown man acting like an adolescent that didn't get his way! She took care of her children, helping with homework, giving baths, reading bedtime stories, and tucking everyone into bed with a kiss and a hug. Ana went into her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. She had her phone in her hand. She called her husband knowing that he wouldn't answer, but she could leave a voice mail.

-Christian, I am sorry for snapping at you. I do love you darling and I love our children. Of course, I want to be with them always, but I also want to have success in my career…just as you have in your business. Baby, we have a wonderful life, and yes, I know we are going through a hard time right now. I don't understand what is going on and why we are fighting so much. Please come home, baby. Come home and let's talk this through. God, Christian, I love you so much that it hurts. I'm hurting baby…please come home.-

She waited up for Christian until almost three in the morning. She fell asleep still dressed in her work clothes. She awoke to find that Christian had returned and left once again. She only knew this because of the wet towel left on the floor of his closet. Ana cried her eyes out then changed out of her clothes and took a shower. Once again, she had responsibilities that she could not ignore or run away from…as her husband had done.

That night, Christian met Natalie at a roadside motel that would be called a dump in finer circles. The paint was peeling and the half the lights on the florescent lights were shot out and never replaced. As usual, Natalie booked the room, but she waited in her locked car until Christian arrived before she would enter the room. They walked in together and stood and stared at the room. "Good Lord, this is a pig sty!" Christian declared feeling dirty just walking through the door. "Why in the hell did you choose this place?'

"Because it is cheap and out of the way." Natalie said lowly. "God forbid if anyone saw us together… you know you are a married man and well known in the community."

"Sarcasm does not suit you, Miss Johnson." He breathed. He pulled out a wad of bills and handed her some cash. "I saw one of those Walmart stores not far from here. Go buy some sheets, pillows, and blankets." He took a whiff of the stale air that was mixed with cigarette and spilled beer smells. "And get some disinfectant and room spray." As she walked out the door he yelled. "Get a mattress bag for the bed!" He looked around the room. The paint was chipped, the carpet was threadbare, and the dresser mirror was broken. "Fuck, what a dump! I wouldn't be surprised if there was a body under the bed!" For good measure, Christian did check under the bed.

Forty minutes later, Natalie was stripping the bed, spraying it with Lysol and remaking the bed. Christian sprayed down the bathroom after giving it a good cleaning. He nearly lost his meal when he saw the bathroom which was urine stained and smelled like one of Nicholas' diapers. He looked up in the mirror to see a man wearing rubber gloves and cleaning a "no-star" rated dump of a motel room. He couldn't believe that, he, Christian Grey was cleaning up a flea-bitten rat hole of a motel room so he could fuck a woman that was not his wife! He stared at himself. This wasn't the man that Ana loved and married. "Who are you?"

"You are the man who fucks me into oblivion. You are the man who needs me for some reason." She slowly slid into the bathroom and behind him. She peeked at their reflection in the hazy mirror. They did look good together with his copper colored tendrils that needed to be trimmed and her long brown hair that curled about her breasts. "You must get something from me that you don't get at home."

"Yeah…an easy cunt to fuck!" He picked her up after he slid the gloves from his hands. He took her back into the bed area and dropped her on the bed. She squealed in mischief and teasingly fought him as he grabbed a handful of her lace panties and tore them. "Yes, my easy little pussy, to pet and play with."

Natalie laughed. "So I'm just a pussy to fuck…nothing more?"

"Nothing more." He agreed as his fingers found their way into the slick folds of her dripping wet pussy. "What do you think of that, Miss Johnson? You are nothing but my whore. My cunt."

Her eyes gleamed in sexual need. His voice was so deep, so commanding and so damn hot. "That's all I could ever hope for, Mr. Grey. Now fuck your pussy and fuck it again!"

Christian let loose his trousers and freed his hungry and angry cock. Yes, he would fuck her and fuck her again. He would take out all his frustrations on her cunt. He would make her scream for mercy. She would be completely under his control…unlike that other woman…the mother of his children. Ana's face raced through his brain. His conscience begged for him to stop and think about what he was doing, but the primal need of conquering and claiming what he used to be was far stronger than his guilt. He plunged deeply into Natalie, pleased when she cried out that he was too big and hurting her. He had to punish her. He had to punish Ana! He had to take back himself and be the man he truly was … a dominant!

After two rounds of hard pounding sex where Christian took Natalie in every position known to man, they laid together drinking cheap wine from plastic glasses. Natalie had to giggle. She was in a cheap motel room drinking cheap-ass wine with the richest bastard on the West Coast.

"Why are you laughing?" Christian asked downing the last swallow of the vile wine that she purchased at Walmart. He made a mental note to school her in the fine art of wine.

"Here we are, in this nasty room, fucking each other with leisure and drinking wine. I'd say that is a situation that one would fine rather comical. I mean, really, who could imagine this?"

"Yeah, it's like a bad novel." He threw the plastic cup into the waste basket. "You do realize that nothing more can come of this. We are not going to have a future together."

"Fuck, Christian…get a grip! I don't want anything from you except your big cock. I don't want your money, you celebrity or even your name. I know what this is. We are just fucking. I don't love you and you don't love me! I just want to get fucked and fucked well."

"So, if this ends tonight, you won't care?" He asked lifting one copper eyebrow in shocking amazement.

"Actually, nope." She said nonchalantly. "You are only a cock to me, just like I am a cunt to you. This is only sex, Christian, nothing more, nothing less. When we are done, we are done."

"And, you won't want something from me?" He baited. He didn't believe her. Everyone wanted something.

"Just a good clean get away." She finished off her wine and grabbed the bottle. "It's all slap and tickle, baby. Nothing more, nothing less!"

Nothing more, nothing less….Nothing more, nothing less….Her words still haunt me. That's what I was to her and what Natalie was to me. We were nothing. And, she told the truth…she did manage the "good clean get away". Or at least, Ana did. But, then again, I didn't bother to look for Natalie. Where ever she was, that's where she should be. Now, I have to find a way to put my family back together. I did this. I broke us and I will have to fix us! I had the affair, the mid-life crisis of realizing that my youth is waning. I want my family back and I want Ana's love once again.

*O*o*O*

Christian was sitting in the living room of Escala just staring at the photograph of his family that sat above the fireplace when he heard the ding of the elevator. He stood up to be pleasantly shocked to find his wife. Ana was beautiful and round with his child. "Honey, are you alright?" He asked moving slowly toward her.

"I'm fine, Christian. I just dropped by to let you know that I am going to the hospital in the morning. The C-section is scheduled for 8 am." She answered with a tight smile. "I thought you would like to be present to see your son born."

"Of course, I do." He said a bit affronted that she would think otherwise. "How are you feeling? Can I get you a drink? Some milk or water?"

"No, I'm fine, but thank you." She made her way to the sofa and he was beside her in a flash to help her sit. He fussed over her, placing a pillow behind her back. "The children said they enjoyed their visit with you yesterday."

"Teddy and Phoebe asked me when I was coming home. I would like to know that myself. Please, Ana let me come home to you and the children." He went to his knees before her. "I miss you so damn much. I want to come home."

Ana considered him for a few moments. In her heart she knew she still loved him, she just didn't like him at this time. Her heart was broken and bitterness still flowed through her veins. She did want him to hurt. She wanted him to be restless and unbalanced. She wanted her pound of flesh. "I am not ready for you to come home yet."

"But, I will be coming home, yes?" He questioned with hope springing alive in his heart.

"In due time…if I ever feel I can trust you again."

"I swear, Ana, you can trust me. I will never …" His voice faded as she held up her hand to stop him. "What?"

"Christian, don't make promises that you can't keep. You did that once in the form of our marriage vows. Remember those, 'keeping only onto her and forsaking all others'? Does that ring a bell?" She cleared a sob from her voice. Her emotions were on the brink of boiling over. Pregnancy hormones were running rampant alongside her need for justice. "I loved you so much. Why couldn't you love me enough to keep your pecker at home where it belonged?"

"I didn't think…"

She stood up quickly. "Yes, that's correct…you didn't think! You didn't think of what your actions would cost your children, your family, and your wife. You didn't think of anyone except for Christian! I knew you were selfish, but I never dreamed that you would tear our family apart like this." Hot tears ran down her face as all the emotions she kept bottled up flowed out of her like a river. The dam had been opened and there was no turning back. "You hurt me. You destroyed my soul. I am empty. You have killed me, but what's worse, your children know, at least Teddy knows. It broke my heart when he asked me if he was going to have another mommy like a few of his friends have."

"Oh, god." Christian breathed. "How…"

"His friends at school."

They stood staring at each other in silence. Ana was too angry to say more and Christian was too ashamed to offer any apologies. Saying I'm sorry just did not seem adequate. Ana finally broke eye contact and turned to leave. She remained silent, not trusting herself not to say the "D" word. She would have to deal with that after the baby was born. She would decide then if this marriage was truly over.

"Ana, please…" Christian went to his knees before her. "Forgive me."

"I can't." She shook her head. "I just can't." She silently left the apartment without another word. No goodbye, no good riddance, just a terrifying frigid silence that sliced through Christian's soul.

Baby boy Grey was born at 8:30 in the morning with his Father observing with tears in his eyes. By ten thirty, Ana was back in her room recuperating from child birth and a tubal ligation. Within moments of being attended to by her nurses her son was brought to her. He was a big boy, tipping the scales at nine pounds even and twenty-one inches long. Ana was hopelessly in love with her dark haired boy. She checked all his fingers and toes and kissed each and every one of them with joy. "Hello, my big guy. You know you really did kick me around that last month. I bit every rib I have is bruised, but you are so worth it." She studied him and he was doing the same. They bonded. "You need a name, my boy." She whispered to him. "You were to be Lucas Jason, but not now… not with the betrayal I feel at this moment. I know they are not to blame, but they knew…well…it's not important now is it? What shall we call you? You are strong. Phillip James Grey…I like that…a very strong name for a very strong baby boy who will grow up to be a very strong man. If I can teach you anything my son, is that it takes a strong person to keep their vows. Remember that Phillip, always keep your word, because once you misuse it, the consequences are nothing but pain, despair, and tears." Ana wiped away her tears. "I need to stop this…this is a joyous day. My son is born. My Phillip."

After the stream of visitors who came to welcome the newest Grey to the world, Christian arrived with the children. Teddy, Phoebe, and Sarah jumped on the bed and kissed their mother hello. Nicholas was in his father's arms and reaching out for his mother. Christian's "mini-me" frowned when he realized that his mother was holding another baby. "No, Mama…no baby!" He cried. "My Mama!"

"Now, Nicholas, we talked about this. The baby is your little brother." Christian said softly trying to soothe his son's fears.

"He's sooo cute!" Phoebe gushed. "Can I hold him, Mama? Can I?"

"Of course, sweetheart. Cuddle up next to me and you can hold him." Ana scooted over to make room for her daughter then placed a sleeping Phillip into the girl's arms. "Now, watch his little head."

"What's his name?" Teddy asked standing near the edge of the bed so he could look at the baby.

"I am thinking Phillip James." Ana said with a gentle smile. She was in heaven with all her children about. She took great pleasure knowing that these sweet angels once lived inside of her. It was she that nurtured them, protected them for nine months and then delivered them into this world.

"I like that." Teddy replied still staring at his newest sibling. "Will he have a new mommy also?"

"What?" Ana gasped. Her blue eyes went hard and cold when she looked up at Christian thinking he had another woman around her children.

"You and Daddy don't live together anymore…and Tommy Edderson's mom and dad don't live together and he got a new Mommy last month. Tommy doesn't like the new mommy. He says that she is mean to him when his Daddy isn't around."

"There isn't going to be any new Mommies or Daddies." Christian answered quickly. "No one could take your mother's place."

"But Dad, you don't live with us anymore and Mommy sleeps alone unless Nicholas crawls into bed with her." Teddy shook his head. "I don't want a new Mommy or Daddy. Mama, promise me that you will keep me."

"Of course, "Tedster", I would never give you away." Ana fought the tears. Sarah curled up on her other side and Nicholas started to fuss wanting his mother to hold him. Ana held her arms out to her two and half year old and he quieted down when he was sitting on her lap. She grimaced a bit because of the staples, but she wouldn't deny Nicholas what he needed: his mother's love. She looked up to see tears in Christian's eyes as he witnessed the most beautiful sight in the world. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and took a few photos.

"Perfect." He said with his voice full of emotion. "My beautiful wife and children."

"Mommy?" Phoebe's soft little voice got her mother's attention. Usually, Phoebe was loud, similar to her father. "Mommy, he smells funny." She nodded toward the baby in her arms.

"He needs a diaper change." Ana laughed. She started to give Nicholas back to Christian, but Christian shook his head.

"I got this, Ana. Nicholas needs you." He gave Phoebe a kiss on her cheek before he took his new son. "You are going to be a spectacular mother's helper, Miss Phoebe."

"Thank you, Daddy." Phoebe giggled sounding just like her mother. Christian's heart melted and ached at the sound. He was missing so much because of his own selfishness and stupidity. He looked down at his son who was wide awake. His blue eyes were an exact match to Ana's as well as the soft curls upon his head. This child was all Ana. "Hello, son. I'm your daddy. We met for a little bit in the delivery room. I have so much to tell you, but first, let's get your diaper changed, and then we can have that talk." Christian winked at Ana who was smiling at him. For a quick moment he saw love in her eyes, then the curtains came crashing down as if she remembered what a lying cheat he was! He took his son to the basinet that the nurse's brought him in and proceeded to change his diaper. "I have much to do, Phillip, to come home. Can you help me here? Put a good word in for me?" He was whispered to his son who only yawned and found his fist to suck on.

*O*o*O*

Phillip James Grey was baptized in the Grey family church just a few blocks from Grace and Carrick's home. Afterwards, the whole Grey family which included Phillip's Godparents, Mia and Ethan Kavanagh met for a celebration at Grace and Carrick's. Christian kept close to his family, making sure that Ana had everything she needed and the older children were cared for. Grace had to smile. At least he was trying. There were so many times at family functions that Ana was ran haggard taking care of their brood with no help from Christian. He was either messing around with Elliot or drinking with his father and grandfather in Carrick's study. Today, however, the Great Christian Grey was on call for his wife!

Elliot was the first to notice this also, and of course had to mention it to Kate. She only nodded and looked him straight in the eye. "Good, and you should know, if you ever do to me what that asshole did to Ana, you wouldn't have the chance to kiss my ass because you would six feet under."

"Whoa…baby, calm down." Elliot said gathering her close. "Why so agitated? What did I do?"

"It's not you, Elliot. It's him." She answered nodding toward the brother-in-law. "I want to stick a piece of dynamite up his ass. How could he do that to her? And, this should be the happiest time of her life. She had another baby, a healthy baby…and he just…he just threw it all away!"

Elliot understood now where his wife was coming from. They had suffered a miscarriage two years ago and was having no luck getting pregnant again. Kate wanted another child and they even discussed adopting. "Baby, it will be alright. Just keep the faith and I promise I will do my very best to get you knocked up this month!" Kate couldn't help but to start to laugh. Only Elliot could make her laugh when she felt this way…totally useless! "It will happen for us Kate. Just relax and let's enjoy our kids, our nieces and nephews and the rest of the family." He leaned down and gently wiped away a tear. "If you are a very good girl, I will find a piece of dynamite for you." The two hugged as they shared a laugh letting the anger dissipate. This day was for Phillip James Grey and the family!

After Phillip was passed around and cooed over he went for a nap in the nursery that Grace insisted was needed at Grandma and Grandpa's for all the grandchildren. She never thought it would be Christian to have the most children with five. Ethan and Mia had two children, and Elliot and Kate had two. Grace felt she was truly blessed being the grandmother to such beautiful children. Grace noticed that Ana had slipped away onto the veranda for a few moments of silence. Grace quietly joined her. "I brought you a shawl. It's a bit nippy today."

"Thank you, Grace that was nice of you." Ana wrapped it around her shoulders. For April, it was very cool.

"He is very pretty baby." Grace offered softly. "You and Christian make pretty babies."

"Yeah, we are good at that, but not much else." Ana sighed heavily. "Grace, I love your son, I do…but…"

"You wonder if you can ever trust him again." Grace stated as she looked off over the water of Lake Washington. "I know what you are going through, Ana, I really do." Ana's mouth fell open in shock. She couldn't believe that Carrick would ever…no he wouldn't. She didn't know how to respond which made Grace chuckle. "It wasn't Carrick, my dear. It was me. I had the affair with another Doctor. I have no excuse that can justify why, but it damn near killed me. I almost lost my marriage and my boys. I was a fool, Ana. I love Carrick so much but I still hurt him. I thank God every single day that Carrick forgave me and we put our marriage back on track."

"How? I can't stop thinking about him with another woman. I can't…oh god, Grace, the pain is so horrible." She began to cry. "I want to hurt him…I want him to feel my pain."

"He does honey…every day he goes without seeing his children or being with you. I know, I was the one who had to leave. Carrick couldn't even look at me." Grace still felt the pang of regret tugging at her heart. "It took us some very serious and intense counseling, but we did it. We put our marriage back together and I have never strayed again."

"So, you are telling me to take him back, just like that."

"No, honey, I'm just letting you know that adultery does not have to be the end of a marriage. You and Christian can make it better and stronger. It takes both of you to have a marriage."

"I don't know if I could live through this again if he decided he wanted someone younger." Ana wiped the tears away. "I also have to think about the children. I have to be the best for them. How can I be a good mother if I am always worried about Christian fucking everything in sight?"

Grace wrapped her arms about Ana and held her close. "Oh, honey, only you can answer that question."

The answer came eight weeks later when school was let out for the summer. Ana picked up Teddy, Phoebe and Sarah and with Nicholas and Phillip she drove out of Seattle. She left Grey Publishing to her newly made VP Hannah and Abigail, the now executive assistant to Hannah. Ana needed a sabbatical to put her life back together and she knew she needed space and distance away from Seattle and from business. All the papers had been signed and Ana was free from her duties at Grey Publishing. The children were singing along with the car song cd as Ana drove farther and farther away. She was completely free…no security, no trackers on her new vehicle or on her new cellphone. There were no 'Men In Black' dressed PO's in the vehicle with her or following her. She was completely off the "Grey Grid".

"Mommy," Phoebe's voice said above the music. "Where are we going?"

"We are going on an adventure, Princess." A deep voice replied. Ana looked over to the passenger seat and smiled at her husband. Christian took her free hand and kissed her soft knuckles. "We are going to Everlasting and Forever."

Phoebe started to laugh. "Oh Daddy…there's no such place…" She shook her head then a thought raced through her head. "Are we going to Disneyland?"

Both Ana and Christian began to laugh. "If you want to, we can." Ana said. "The road is endless and we can go anywhere we want."

"Anywhere we want…just as long as I am with you, Ana." Christian whispered. He looked back to his family that were in their various sizes of car and booster seats. He knew he was one lucky bastard. He had his family back, his wife welcomed him home after the baptism, but not to their marriage bed. They embarked on a six week long counseling sessions with a Christian marriage therapist that was recommended by their Minister. The first few sessions were heartbreaking and soul wrenching. There were times that Christian thought that Ana was going to give up on them. He realized that the damage he had done to her self-esteem was one of the reasons why she was hesitant to give him another chance. She went to therapy on her own to build back her self-worth and esteem. They were yet to make love, but they did share a bed together. They were learning how to live with each other again. "I love you, Anastasia Rose Grey."

"I love you, also." She gave him a sideways look and smile. They held hands as Ana drove them on down the road with the kids singing at the top of their lungs. It was a good and fine day. This was a new start for their marriage and with confidence surging in her heart, Ana knew this time around they would get it right.

*O*o*O*

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