TFIOS Christmas Surprise
Disclaimer: I don't own any John Green books, I don't own the characters from this fanfiction, I don't own all the quotes/lines in this fanfiction. Not all the facts are right so… please don't judge me
A/N: Sorry if there are any spelling errors or anything. Also, this is a very special Christmas Fanfiction that I am writing for the wonderful Facebook page "That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt. –Augustus Waters". Merry Christmas you guys! Love you lots! 3 ~Jess 4
Third Person POV
Twas the night before Christmas in the Lancaster household. Hazel Grace Lancaster's mother was in utter despair. The Christmas tree still isn't up yet?! Can't trust those two to do ANYTHING! She thought quietly to herself. She ran upstairs to Hazel's room.
"Open the door Hazel! Help me put up the Christmas tree!" cries Mrs. Lancaster. There was no response. What is she doing? Come out here Hazel! When Mrs. Lancaster couldn't take it anymore, she thought about bursting through the door and dragging Hazel down the stairs. But she knew Hazel wouldn't appreciate that and that there must be some rational reason to why Hazel isn't answering. So Mrs. Lancaster went back downstairs to find her husband.
Hazel Grace POV
"Open the door Hazel! Help me put up the Christmas tree!" I heard my mom yell. All I could think was stop. Mom, please leave me alone. But I opted to keep my mouth shut, knowing that my mom would leave me alone. I lay on my bed thinking. Christmas tree- No. I can't think like that. Oh how I wish Gus was here! I remembered. I remembered the horrible phase that I went through when Gus died. "I lit up like a Christmas tree Hazel Grace. The lining of my chest, my left hip, my liver, everywhere." I cried. I was sobbing, sobbing into my pillow, until I ran out of tears. Do you see now? Do you see why I couldn't bear to go help my mom put up the Christmas tree? It hurt. It still does. I can't go through Christmas this year. I can't do it! IT HURTS TO MUCH DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
I opened my bedroom door and snuck a change of clothes into the bathroom. I changed out of my PJs and into some jeans and a t-shirt. I washed up any remnants of tears from my face and strolled out. Walking right past my mother, I opened the door and tried to leave.
"HAZEL GRACE LANCASTER WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING RIGHT NOW?" Shit. Caught by the one and only Mrs. Lancaster.
"I'm going to visit Gus. Leave me alone!" I shot at her. Before she could say anything else, I walked out the door, letting it slam shut behind me. I couldn't help it, I burst into tears. Again. Why am I so emotional? Aw crap. I wiped away my tears and snot and straightened my back, determined to visit Gus and then his parents before heading home before lunch.
I walked to the local cemetery and quickly found Gus' headstone. I placed the flowers along with the book I wanted Gus to read on his headstone. I crouched in front of it and I couldn't help the tears that washed over me as reality hit me full force over and over again.
"GUS! If you can hear me, Merry Christmas. I'm very very fond of you and now, there's no one here to complete my okays." I said, facing upwards. I let the tears fall down my face, hoping beyond hope that Gus didn't die and that all this was a dream.
Gus POV (yes I know he's dead, but let's say he's in heaven okay? Okay.)
I felt a pull to the enchanted mirror. The one that lets the dead to see those that are calling to them. As I walked closer, I heard my name over and over again, spoken by someone very much like Hazel Grace. Oh Hazel Grace. How I wish I was with you this Christmas, how I wish I was sitting next to you, holding you. How I wish I hadn't lost my battle with cancer.
I heard her scream, I watched her cry. My heart was torn in so many pieces. Each time my Hazel Grace was sad, I felt another piece of my heart break off. I couldn't stand the sadness that overcame her. I had to stand there and feel my baby's sadness wash over me. Dear God. Why did you have to wrench me away from her? Why? It's so unfair. It's all bullshit. DAMN IT! It hurts too much.
"HAZEL GRACE! I CAN HEAR YOU! Merry Christmas to you too. I-" I broke off in the middle of my sentence because sobs took over my body. If I could just see her, and is she could just see me. I miss you so much Hazel Grace. I existed because of you and now, you exist without me.
"Augustus Waters. I hear your wish." What? Who just said that?
"Who are you? Where are you? Why can't I see you?" I'm so confused. Who is this man? Why can't I see him?
"Here I am. I am God. I know you cannot see me. However, you just need to believe in me for your wish to come true. Be not afraid, for I speak the truth." I decided to test him. If he really is God, then how the hell am I supposed to know?
"How do I know you aren't scamming me? I mean, I'm dead so there's nothing in it for you." I said.
"Ah. That's where you go wrong. There never was anything in it for me. One could even say, I am the wish-granting factory that earth never was."
Holy crap. How does he even... I suppose then, that He is God. "I believe you. Now, what were you talking about?"
"Ah. You wished to see your girlfriend. Yes?"
"Yes. I want to see her, embrace her, be with her, if for only one day."
"Are you not afraid that she will freak out when you appear for a day and then go back to being dead?"
I hadn't thought of that. Shit. Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt. If I could only somehow explain it to her in a way that she would understand. "It's okay. I know how to explain it to her. Hazel Grace, that girl understands things. She'll know."
"As you wish then. Be sure never to reveal anything about Heaven. Is that understood?"
"Yes Sir. Thank you Sir." I don't know why I called Him Sir, but if I get to see my Hazel Grace, then everything slips out I guess.
Hazel Grace POV
I walked to Gus' parent's house. I see that they have already woken up so I rang the doorbell. Gus' mom opened the door.
"Hazel! I'm so glad to see you!" She comes over and hugs me. "Come in come in! Merry Christmas dear girl!"
"Merry Christmas to you too Mrs. Waters. I'm so glad to see you." I say, tightlipped, trying to keep the tears inside of me. "I just wanted to visit Gus' room. If that's okay with you." I add lightly.
"Of course! Of course! You're always welcome here!" says Mrs. Waters. With that said, I walked to Gus' room. I take in the phase of his room. I remember being here with him after he told me about his cancer and I came to visit. I remember that moment when he had pissed his bed and had been absolutely mortified by it. I remember EVERYTHING. I couldn't just give it up.I miss you Gus. I really do. What I wouldn't give to be able to see you one more time. I sat down on his bed and cried into his pillow. All of a sudden, I heard glimmering noise. I jerked my head up to see a shimmery Gus standing right in front of me.
"Gus? Gus? Is that you?" I reached out my hand to feel him but before I reached him, Gus had rushed over to me and enveloped me in a huge hug. It really is him!
"GUS!" I cried into shoulder. He patted my back and kissed the side of my head.
"Shh. Not so loud. I don't want my parents to hear. I came back for one day because I missed you too much. I can't tell you much, but yes, I am dead and yes, I came back for one day. But I'm only here for this one day. I hope you understand. Hazel Grace, I just had to see you." I looked at him in shock, thinking over what he just said. I guess it made sense. I mean, basically he came back for one day, and then he has to go back to wherever dead people go when I go to sleep tonight.
"Yeah. Gus, I understand. I'm so glad you came back. I've been crying every day." I tell him.
"I know. I can hear you and I can feel you." Oh. Well. That changes things.
"Well, since you're here, let's enjoy this Christmas Day together until you have to go. Okay?" I say.
"Okay Hazel Grace. Okay."
Narrator POV
And so, Hazel Grace Lancaster and dead-but-alive Augustus Waters spent the day together, running around town like robbers, making out like horny teenagers in the alleys. Their final destination was Hazel's bedroom. They climbed through the window, at 11pm that night. Gus picked up Hazel and set her in the bed. He crawled in beside her and hugged her tight.
"Hazel Grace, I love you. I always have, and I always will." Gus said.
"Augustus, I love you too. I always have, and I always will." Hazel said.
"Remember when you said that maybe okay will be our always?"
"Yeah? What about it?"
"It's true. Okay will always be our always." With that, Gus kissed Hazel's head and sang her a lullaby, lulling her to sleep.
Hazel Grace POV
As we lay there together, Gus singing that lullaby, I wished this moment would last forever. However, I know that it can't. And so, I vowed to forever remember this moment. I kissed Gus and said, "Gus, I'll never forget you. I love you." I drifted off into sweet oblivion.
Gus POV
As I felt Hazel, dear sweet Hazel Grace, drifting off to sleep, I whispered in her ear, "I fell in love with the way you sleep. Slowly and then all at once." I kissed her nose and let God take me back to death, where I would forever be alone.
A/N: sorry. I know it's probably pretty bad. But hey, I do what I do! And yeah. It's a really sad ending. Sorry sorry sorry. Thanks a bunch for reading and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ~Jess 4