Diary of a zealot
Week 1: My first diary! Wow! Or is it dairy? I can't tell which one. Anyway my mother gave it to me on my 155th birthday. Kinda bit downer actually. I asked for a flame thrower. Maybe it's too much. But then, I did crashed my dad's car right into a vespene gas station a few weeks ago. The flame! I guess it did had an effect on what you gonna get on your birthday. Oh! My name is Tassadarius Zeratulius, after the two famous Protoss warriors. Cool, isn't it? But my friends called me Sheldon.
Week 2: It's graduation day! After years of toiling, not to mention hundreds of detention classes, I finally graduated. I'm the third in my family who manage to graduate. Both my parents were glowing with pride. Well, only my mother. My father glowed due to different reason. His car lost to that gas station weeks ago. Can't he just let it go? Anyway, I once had two elder brothers. Why once you might asked? It's because both of them had died, heroically inline with Protoss traditions. The first died when he accidentally activated his psi blade with that thing pointed to his face. The second one was supposed to teleport into one of the Protoss outpost but instead he ended up in a neighbor's house. The wife was stark naked at that time and the husband had just arrived home from work at that time. Talk about navigational error! Long story cut short, we don't have the terrans technology to sew up body parts so we had to use duct tapes before his funeral.
Week 3: Still trying to find a job that befits my qualification. One day my friend Bob showed me a terran cook book. I wondered from where he gets them. Well the image of food inside it looks tantalizing. Since the moment of our existence, we rely on moon light and starlight, absorbed through our skin for nourishment. We never taste food. So we both went into the woods to catch a rodent. Got one. Well the ingredient are plenty and easy to find in the woods. All we need is to follow the instruction. After two hours, the cuisine is ready. Somehow we ended up trying to figure out how to put the damn thing inside our body for the rest of the day. We just realized we had no mouth!
Week 4: Got the news that our mortal enemy is on their way here. I was sent into the front line. I wondered how the Zerg could fly all the way from Char to Aiur by itself. My commander told me they use gas excreted from their back as the propulsion.
Wow! The Zerg farted their way here?
Urm..shall I continue?