Hi everyone! I'm back with a little one-shot. Noticing how this hadn't been done before, I figured it was time someone did. Just a note, Belarus shows up, but there is none of the incestuous…stuff. (If you read my profile, I am a Christian, along with a Belarus/Lithuania fan) But she's still nuts. Please enjoy!
When Lithuania woke up, he just had this feeling. It wasn't like he never had the feeling. He always had this feeling-Poland said that it was just one of his traits (and if you add a few 'like's into the previous phrase, you'd probably get what he said)-but never this strong. A quick glance at his alarm clock told him why-8:00.
"Great…" Lithuania spoke with a mix of a tired groan and a frightened squeal. What was wrong with this, you may ask? For one, he generally woke up at 6:00 to get ready for the day. Not to mention help Russia as well. Put on the coffee, make up…well, whatever he wanted, and then-if it was a good day-he'd leave to go do something. On this timetable, he would have made breakfast. And what was the day today? Lithuania bolted to the calendar, and stared. Today was a G8 Meeting.
Lithuania cussed with a word that would have made America stare in shock. Why did it have to be today? It had to be a meeting day when he had woken up two hours late! Well, better late than never, right? At least he wasn't being dragged out for his duties, like Latvia usually was. That boy…
He walked out of his room. There was no sign of anyone being awake. Ugh…when he did find Russia-whom he imagined staring into his soul, flaming, and looking rather, ah, angry-it wouldn't end well.
But when he did make it to the kitchen, he wasn't there. Not even on the ceiling, where he had been known to ambush, usually in that odd sense of humour of his. He even checked around the bathrooms-there was no way he was going in, but he did want to know where his attack was coming from-and there wasn't a single door closed. A small spark of hope filled inside him. Maybe Russia was still asleep. Lithuania checked the bedroom, looking for any sign of him. The smashed alarm clock, along with the tell-tale Russia sized bump under the covers told him the story. Lithuania breathed a sigh of relief. Then, a groan as a realization hit him hard-it was a meeting day! He had an idea. A good idea, but a risky one at best. When he looked at the host list, he gulped. It was Germany.
"Could this day get any better?" He chuckled nervously to himself.
How could he pull the hoax off? A smile broke on his face as he knew what to do. If he played his cards right, this could work perfectly.
After placing on a few cosmetics-Belarus' face cream and powder along with lipstick. Making sure to use the computer that America had given out to everyone (another
show-off on America's part of his future tech), he turned on Skype. Estonia's lessons on technology were lost on most of the Soviets, but not Lithuania-or Latvia for that matter, with all of the Hot Wheels ads on the computer. Good grief.
After clearing up all that garbage, he sent the thing for Germany. Naturally, he was always awake.
"Who is this?" Why was that guy so scary?
Lithuania made extra caution to sound weak. "I-it's me…"
"What do you want?"
"I-I'm afraid Russia won't-t be a-a-attending."
"Why?" Lithuania backed up in his chair, afraid that Germany would come out and choke him, just from his look.
"We've had the chicken pox going around, and when Russia was up this morning, he had some pox spots, and I had Ukraine and Belarus send him off to bed. I'm the only one available to speak right now."
"Get Russia out here, and I'll speak to him."
Obviously he wasn't buying it.
"He's unavailable."
"Is he faking again?" Germany looked incredulous.
"He only did that once, and it was for a good reason."
"You don't think I remember? He confessed to me about Ukraine's condition when I didn't believe him. So why are you faking for him? Stop gawking at me…"
Lithuania closed his mouth.
"…Italy does that all the time. He has face powder and lipstick for the occasion. It's too obvious. So is yours. Why are you faking? Can I actually speak to him?"
"He actually can't. He's asleep. I can't wake him up."
"Can't, or won't?" Germany glared at him.
"Would you?"
"I can understand your reasoning. However, we need him here. Germany signing off."
"NO! Don't! Please!"
Connection Lost.
Lithuania's head fell to the desk in despair. After a couple of seconds, he checked to see if Russia was awake. No such luck. He put on coffee and two pieces of toast, and then went to wake the rest of them. Only Estonia and Latvia were able-but not willing-to do the task ahead.
"So much for seeing my next birthday…" Latvia moaned.
"I guess we have to get a new alarm clock, huh? You know what would help? Some tea!" But before Estonia could flee, Lithuania grabbed him by the arm, and dragged him inside.
"He looks so peaceful. For once." Latvia noted quietly.
"We have ten minutes to wake him up."
Nervously, they pulled the sheets off. "Make that twenty. He seems to be ready for the day."
Lithuania leaned towards the sleeping man "Russia…time to wake up…"
The other two Baltics snickered. "What? Works for me…"
Estonia looked down at Russia. "I don't think it works for him."
Latvia looked at Russia. "Think we should check his pulse?"
Estonia leaned down. "Yep. His heart didn't fall out."
After looking for awhile, Estonia smiled. "Call his sister. The scary one."
Latvia looked in horror, while Lithuania looked offended. She wasn't scary! Just misjudged!
"Get over yourself, Toris, she broke all your fingers on your first date!" Estonia barked at him.
"You wanted me?" Belarus snuck behind Estonia.
"EEK! Uh…h-hello."
"Hello."
"W-where'd you come from?"
"This is my house. Why shouldn't I be here?" She stared at Latvia.
"Eh-heh-heh…well, we need your help." Lithuania chuckled nervously.
"With. What?" Her voice held a low growl.
"Waking him up."
She looked at him with an evil smile. "You three may want to leave the room. Don't want to get blamed for this."
When they left, she poised herself, knee on chest, and knife near his neck
"Brother dear, if you don't wake up, your throat will be slit…" She spoke in her sing-song, yet scary as anything voice.
Nothing happened. He didn't move.
"You check his pulse?"
"Yes, Miss. Belarus, I did." Estonia nodded.
"Well that takes out the option that he's dead." She noted.
"What next?" Latvia groaned.
"I don't know. It usually works when I do that." Belarus pondered.
"Try China. He might know."
After calling him up…
"Try a sunflower-aru. That might awake him from the deep sleep!"
Upon hearing that, Estonia grabbed a sunflower, and started waving it around the sleeping Russian. No such luck."
"No good."
"No good-aru? I'm all out of ideas. Try Japan. He might know-aru."
Now on to Japan…
"Did you try a sunflower?"
"Yes." All of them spoke, sounding bored.
"Ah. I know I like to wake up to a nice, cold bath. It always seems to leave me refreshed and ready for the day."
"So we should dump water on his head…?"
"If I don't have to do that and get to stay anonymous, sure!
Estonia went to grab a bucket fill with water, while he was thinking about all the possible ways to die, and once he made it to the room, dumped the icy water on his head, making sure to avoid his clothes.
"…Is he awake now?" Latvia whispered.
A snore told them otherwise.
"I can honestly say I have never seen him sleep this long. Ever." Belarus marvelled to herself.
"Ah. It didn't work. Italy is near by, I shall grab him. He knows a lot about sleeping in."
"That would be great. Thanks." Lithuania smiled with a bit of false hope.
Guess what? It is Italy's turn!
"Hi Lithuania! I hear you guys have some trouble with Russia sleeping in too long. Germany is always complaining about me doing that."
Belarus snatched the phone from Lithuania. When he made a noise of protest, she flicked the knife in his direction, which in turn kept him silent.
"Italy, if you don't have any ideas…"
"Oh! Okay! Do you guys have any food?"
As if on cue, the toaster made a popping noise.
"You do? Good! Use the smell of it to wake him up. He'll probably wake up hungry, so…it's a good idea."
Latvia was sent to go grab the toast, and brought it up along with the coffee.
"Now place it right by his face…"
Following Italy's instructions, they placed it near the face. No such luck. Didn't even budge.
"Didn't work." Belarus groaned.
"P-please don't hurt me…Germany! Germany! Germany!" You could hear the phone drop when Italy ran in terror. As per usual.
Belarus was about to hang up when the door burst open!
"Whoo! I finally got out of that unawesome basement he threw me in to last night!"
They all stifled a groan. Prussia, or East Germany. For the record, Prussia got tossed down there after one (or two, or three, or four) too may Yo Mama jokes-which Russia seemed to take very personally. But he got tossed down there so often that, well, he might as well stay down there.
Belarus hung up the phone. After all, the people didn't need to hear the sounds he would make when she killed him…
"Is he still asleep! That's longer than Italy would ever. That's so awesomely hilarious!"
"Any ideas on how to wake him up?" Lithuania asked sheepishly, before Belarus lost it.
"Jump on the bed. Launch him out!"
They flashed him an 'Are you insane' look.
"Maybe a little. But I'm still awesome! And I'm totally serious about it. I used to be able to launch my dad so high on Christmas Day, when I was 5. This won't be a problem now!" He soared into the air and crashed on to his bed, sending Russia flying, and hitting the roof with a good crack, only to land back on the bed. No damage was done, other than the Russia shaped mark in the roof. And he was still asleep.
"That's unnatural…" Prussia looked oddly at it.
"I think we need to call America." Lithuania looked at them all.
America's turn (Don't worry, this story's almost at an end)
"Firecrackers."
"What? Are you trying to kill us!"
"No! But I just used my special Fed-Ex to send over a totally kick…"
"Please don't finish that sentence, Latvia is around."
"Sorry. But they are at your door."
Prussia ran off to the door to look and sure enough…"
"Hey! Found the Firecrackers!"
"Bring them up! We only have a few minutes!"
While they were setting up the firecrackers under the bed, Latvia decided to speak up.
"Hey guys, I think I have an idea."
They looked at him, as he reached over and gave a small tug on his scarf, hoping he wouldn't lose the hand.
An eye peeked up at him.
"What are you doing?" The voice was tired, but threatening enough…
"Sir, you have to…what's that smell?" Estonia started
They had no time to react as the firecrackers went off. It would have been enough with the marvellous display of red, white and blue. But as it turned out, like other Soviet projects, the house may have not been built up to code, or at least, couldn't handle firecrackers. It was as if it was slow motion, when they went off, the floor started to crack, and the bed swiftly fell through the floor, with Russia still on it. The bed cascaded through the floor all the way to the basement. When the bed stopped moving, all of them were staring in shock and horror. Well except for Prussia who was rolling on the floor, commenting on how 'awesome' the incident had been.
"Brother dear, are you alright?" Belarus asked nervously.
A purple light illuminated through the house.
Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol...
The message came across loud and clear, as the five sprinted out of the house as quick as they could.
The End…