Chapter 1: Sometimes

The day that I suppose it all started was the first day Rhiann came to see me. Rhiann Kennedy was 14 and her parents had sent her to see me because she was cutting herself off from everything and becoming depressed.

Just before Rhiann's first appointment I'd given Luke a quick call to catch up. He was always so busy that I hardly ever got a chance to talk to him. I thought it was going to be another day when he wouldn't be there and I'd go straight to answering machine when I heard an out-of-breath " Hey, Luke speaking".

"Oh, Luke, hey", I said a bit surprised that after all he times he hadn't picked up he was actually there. "It's-", I started.

" I know who this is!" Luke interrupted in that deep voice that directors paid 12 million and more for. " How you doing Jenny?"

" I'm really good Luke. How are you? It seems like an age since I've spoken to you."

" It has been", he replied slightly ruefully. " I'm so sorry I've not called you back. I've just had so much on, you know with filming and what not."

"Hey, don't worry about it", I said quickly. " I know how hard you have to work. It's just nice to talk to you." I meant it too. Luke was still a close friend ten years after we'd met.

" What have you been filming?" I asked interestedly.

" We finished filming 'Final Chance' there a few months back and after that I started filming 'Dime, Nickel and Quarter'", he answered. " Actually Geri and I are going to be in Washington in a couple of weeks for the premiere of 'Final Chance'."

" We should all definitely catch up then", I said excited at the prospect of seeing Geri-Lynn and Luke.

" Yeah, I've not seen Scott in ages", replied Luke enthusiastically.

It was then that my receptionist, Olivia, knocked on the door indicating that Rhiann was here. "I got to go Luke, I have a patient", I explained. " Talk to you soon."

" Yeah definitely. Bye Jen."

As soon as Rhiann walked in I felt a wave of fatigue wash over me. I could tell that she didn't want to be there. It was obvious in her body language, the way she spoke but I could also see it in her eyes. They were so guarded, fearful and far too sad to be the eyes of a 14-year-old girl.

She looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. I didn't know how it got there and I had a feeling she wasn't feeling very willing to tell me.

I don't really understand why parents force some kids to go to therapy. I mean for some kids it was perfect. They found it so much easier to talk to someone who didn't have a direct affect on their lives. But for others therapy held no answers. If they didn't want to talk at all, forcing them to isn't going to help. And sometimes it just makes things that bit worse.

I didn't know which category Rhiann fell into yet but I was going to find out one way or the other.

After all the standard questions like " how are you doing at school?" and "how are your friends?" we weren't getting anywhere.

And I'm not known for my textbook therapy methods but my success rates are quite good. So I did what I always do when one of my patients doesn't want to talk to me: I left her alone on the couch and played solitaire on my computer.

I know it's a bit unorthodox but like I said it's worked so far and as they say 'If it ain't broke, why fix it?" This is also where I find out if Rhiann might eventually benefit from therapy or if there was nothing I could do for her.

Ten minutes after I had started my game I was stuck. I very rarely get out of solitaire. FreeCell I'm an old hand at but solitaire always provides a challenge.

As I was contemplating which move to make next I heard "If you move the nine of spades onto the ten of diamonds, it'll finish."

"Oh yeah," I said seeing the move. I did as she'd suggested and it finished. I started a new one.

I heard Rhiann get up and come to stand beside me. Whenever she pointed out a move on the screen, I'd do it and in no time at all I'd finished yet another game.

"How on earth did you become so good at this?" I asked her incredulously. It normally took me forever to finish a game and a fourteen year old had done it in less than two minutes.

"Oh", she answered absently. "My brother. He loved solitaire. Was excellent at it too. I used to watch him and I guess it just stuck."

"And how old is your brother?"

"Twenty-five. Twenty-six next month."

"What does he do?"

"He was studying to be a paediatrician."

" How come he didn't finish his course?"

"Because", she answered hotly. "He died in a motorbike accident almost four years ago." She then threw me a glare. "Would you like all the gory details?"

"Only if you want to tell me", I told her gently.

"Fine whatever", she told me sullenly. "It's not like I'm not used to it. Everyone always wants to know." And then, she got this kind of glazed look on her face before she continued " My parents bought him an Indian for his 21st birthday. They'd offered to get him a Harley Davidson before but he'd always told them that Harleys were over-rated. He always had all these technical reasons why he didn't like them. He loved telling his theory to anyone who would listen." At this point a small smile flitted across her face at the memory but it was gone again in a matter of seconds.

"Yeah, so anyway", she continued. " He wouldn't ride it on his birthday. Said it was family day and that he would wait till the next day. I'd asked him the night before if he'd take me with him and he'd said yes but he went out early in the morning and I wouldn't get up. So he went out on his own."

It looked like it was getting hard for her to continue so I told her that she didn't have to tell me if it was too hard. But she carried on anyway.

" He was on his way back home. He was only a few streets away. There was a car driving out of an alley too fast. It didn't see him. Sent him flying 20 ft. up the road. He broke his collar bone and his spine in two places." Her eyes had started to fill up with tears but she still went on in a level tone like what she was saying had absolutely no connection to her life at all. " When they asked him what his name was all he said was 'Rani'. It was his name for me. It's the Hindi meaning for princess." Now the tears over spilled. " He was dead before the ambulance got there. He was bleeding internally."

" What was his name?" I asked quietly.

"Marcus".

At that moment my phone beeped signalling that my next patient was there. It seemed inconsiderate to just tell Rhiann that she had to leave after all that she'd told me. But I needn't have worried she knew what the beep meant.

"Don't worry I'm going", she told me getting up to leave. "You are my fourth shrink in two years." And with a small smile, like tiny, she was gone.

Looking down at my desk I glanced at Zoe. She had been given to me by one of my first ever patients.

"We've a long week ahead of us Zoe", I told her. And then my next patient was in the room ready to go.

A.N. so please tell me what you think! commentsand advice would be much appreciated

R&R