Popular Article in the newly formed Hogwart's Prophet:
Hello Faithful Gossip-ers,
It's been exactly one week since my last article and like always, there is gossip afoot at Hogwarts! But who'll be the lucky victim this week? And what's the dish on them (and odds are, there's a dish on who they're with ;). Well, there are of course our usual candidates; HP, DM, RW and BZ (if you don't know who these are then what you're reading is WAY out of your league). However, there are also a few UNusuals; PP (there are TWO PP-s so I'll give you a hint. "What a lovely PANSY garden you have" Mrs. Morton told her neighbor) (Again, if you still don't know, just read a different article), HG, MB, and CC. Let's find out the going-ons, shall we?
First off, it would seem that HP and CC are completely finished. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it was CC's fault for whining too much, but hey! What else's new? Another couple with TIP (trouble in paradise) is DM and PP. We all knew it would have to end eventually. I was actually expecting it would be sooner. I'm pretty sure the only one who wasn't was PP herself! PP, if you're reading this: 1. Get a life! 2. Get a guy actually IN your league! And 3. Get a decent haircut! (Phew! It's a good thing this is anonymous! PP would probably be coming after me if it weren't). Alright, well enough about the old. Let's get on to the new!
My sources have recently informed me that MB and BZ actually went to Hogsmeade together. Wow, MB must be pretty good at hiding things. No one could even SEE the gun she had to his head! Kudos MB (Again, I am SO glad this is anonymous!) Are they together? It's highly doubted by me and probably by you too, my faithful reader! Now, onward we go! HG and RW, it's rumored, have recently started going out. How long will it last? I'll take a guess off the top of my head and say a few months. Why this long? RW will eventually get bored with HG and her hobbies (which include, books, studying and an occasional homework assignment) and start noticing other girls. Of course, he won't cheat on her. He'll break it off first, him being the kind hearted soul that he is. Well, she might actually dump HIM first because she's not an idiot, and will start to notice his eyes wandering.
Now, of course, it wouldn't be my Gossip Column if we didn't add a little topping of SS into the mix. SS is a slimy a git as ever! He continues to lack in the ability to take a shower, wash his hair, or wax his eyebrows for that matter! SS, unless you start being a little less (no, make that a lot less) hard on anyone who IS NOT a Slytherin, I will continue to insult you. And, just because I know you're wondering this, and I know you read this, AD will NOT remove my column because I am insulting you because, I'm sorry to tell you that HE thinks it's funny too. Just like EVERY other person in this school. (Come on, SS, you know it's true!)
Well, that's all for this week! Make sure to impose as much drama as you can (or I won't have anything to write about next week!)
Keep life complicated, Hogwarts!
Your friendly neighborhood Gossip Girl