Standard disclaimer: The characters and world are not mine. I'm playing in Janet Evanovich's world, with her characters and not making any money.

Warning: This little short is low on plot and has mild smut in this part with increasing smut in future parts. This is part one of three. It's just fun. The idea came while listening to "The Loophole" by Garfurkel and Oates. You can go listen to it on youtube if you want. I'll wait. Done? Okay. So you've had your warning.

Three months ago, I was sitting in my parent's dining room on a Saturday afternoon. I had stopped in at Joe's to see if Bob needed out. Joe and I were on again but Joe said he was working, which is why he wasn't spending the day with me. Well, he may have been busy with something. Two women probably needed a lot of attention. But he wasn't working at the TPD and I couldn't get the images out of my head. I had gone over to my parents' house in a daze at first but quickly turned angry.

"That's it. I'm done. I'm swearing off of men for good," I told my grandma Mazur.

She patted my shoulder awkwardly. We weren't an overly demonstrative family. "That Joe Morelli is a horse's ass. And that bounty hunter with the nice package is confused. You'll find someone baby granddaughter. Give it time."

"You should come to church with us tomorrow," my mom added as she sat a piece of pie and a short wide glass of dark liquid in front of me. The apple pie was still warm from the oven and topped with ice cream and a drizzle of caramel. I moaned as I took my first bite. Then tears threatened as I recognized my own moan as very similar to the one Terry had been making when I caught her with Morelli and that woman I didn't recognize in his kitchen. I took a gulp of the dark liquid and the icy alcohol burned down my throat. "You could confess to the priest and make a pledge. They have these purity rings for women who have gone astray and wish to wait for marriage to have sex again."

"I'm not getting married again, mom."

"Widow Duncan got herself a purity ring and got her hymen repaired. Didn't last more than a few months before she got married to Mr. Kowalski because he was so excited to be with a virgin," Grandma said. "You should do that."

"I'm not having surgery on my hooha grandma."

"Well, you said you wanted to swear off men," mom pointed out.

"It's just a mindset," I protested. "I'm not going to worry about a boyfriend or men at all right now. I'm going to work on me and get more friendly with my gun and better at my job."

"Then it can't hurt to confess and get the purity ring, can it?" mom asked. "You can look at it and pray. Lean on God a little when things get hard."

Somehow, they convinced me to do it and that Sunday, I made my pledge and got my silver purity ring band. It had a little cross engraved on the outside and the inside said, "love waits." Monday, I had picked up my files at Vinnie's. Then with renewed enthusiasm, I called Rangeman Trenton and asked if someone would have any time to help me in the shooting range. They were pretty enthusiastic about the idea. Tank had been left in charge of Trenton when Ranger took off for Miami and I didn't want to take advantage of the merry men so we worked out an agreement. I spent part of each day doing searches, part training, and the rest of the time working on my skips. Frequently, I had a volunteer partner to chase after my skips with me.

Three months of overdosing on the eye candy at Rangeman with no relief in sight had been slow torture. The buildup had my hormones working on overtime. It was only a question of time before they overrode my good sense.

Lester and Erik had been talking shit to each other. I couldn't understand the spanish words but their tone and body language was clear. Erik had gotten into Lester's personal space a little. I think for intimidation factor but I moaned picturing them a little closer together than that. Traitorous hormones. Lester's sharp eyes found mine, studied my face and the way I was sitting with my legs crossed primly but squeezing slightly so I could rock against the seam of my jeans. He said something fast to Erik that made the other man chuckle slightly.

A few days later, Lester and I were alone in a bronco on a stakeout and for once, he was the chatty one and I wanted to just be quiet. "So beautiful, tell me about the purity ring?"

"It's supposed to be like a commitment to wait until marriage. No sex. It's like the mindset of a virgin again but harder because virgins don't know what they're missing."

"Why do that?"

"I really need to concentrate on me right now, Lester. I don't need to be looking for a boyfriend."

"That's fair but why do you need to be unhappy to concentrate on you?"

"It's just no sex. It's not the end of the world."

"You've been masturbating a lot then?"

"Lester! I'm not talking about this." I felt my face heat up but he didn't look at me. He kept his eyes on the skip's apartment building. That made it a little easier. "I've been trying not to. Well, mostly. I mean, like, I'm supposed to be like a virgin. Virgins worry about staying, intact, you know? No penetration. So herbert horsecock has to stay in his drawer."

"A little vibe maybe?" he suggested. "Or your showerhead?"

"Uh…"

"Come on, Beautiful, tell me all about it. You liked seeing Erik and I really close the other day. Do you fantasize about two men together or with you?"

"I can't talk about that," I insisted. I couldn't even figure out how to describe my reaction to the discussion he seemed determined to have with me. And hearing him try to get me to talk about it kinda made me hot. I blamed it on the lure of the forbidden. I crossed my legs, shifted in the seat a little so the seam of my pants rubbed my clit. I couldn't resist but as a response, settled on, "Masturbation alone isn't much fun." I could tell he wasn't satisfied with that response. "You wouldn't tell me about your sexual fantasies," I said, while hoping that I was wrong.

"I went to catholic school," he told me. The girls there were all about keeping an intact hymen for their marriage bed. The purity ring is so sexy and a challenge. There's a lot you can do without having anything in your pussy."

I squirmed in my seat. I wasn't sure if I was uncomfortable with this or turned on. It was too dark for me to tell what his physical reaction to the conversation was but his tone was low and pure sex.

"Do you want suggestions, Beautiful?"

"Lester. Please." If asked, I would have sworn that I was begging him to stop but I didn't really want him to stop. He kept talking and kept watching the skip's house. He took my hand and ran his fingers over my skin lightly, giving me contact. As he told me about the things he wanted to do to me, he pulled my hand gradually until I could feel the hardness of him outlined in his cargo pants.

"Feel what you do to me beautiful? And you feel good too. I can tell by the way you squeeze your sexy little legs together, pinching your clit. And this isn't sex. Your imaginary hymen stays intact." I looked up into his eyes and his expression was openly lustful and pure bad boy. I had to look away from the intensity of it.

"There's the skip," I said.

Lester cursed but we were both quick to get out of the bronco and we hauled the skip in without much trouble. It was one of mine, not a Rangeman skip. Piece of cake but the mood was broken.

The next day I had finished working in the gun range with Ram and on a few escape moves with Brett and was going up to four. Tank had moved up to seven since he was in charge of Trenton Rangeman now. It was another sign that Ranger wouldn't be back. Usually I used an open apartment on four to shower but a new recruit was moving into the last vacant one that day. Lester was coming out of his apartment as I tried to figure out what to do. "Use my shower, Beautiful," he told me. Then when I was really close to him, he added extra softly, "I want to be able to think about you in there." In a louder voice, he continued, "Let me just grab you a clean towel."

I thanked him and followed him into the bathroom and somehow ended up between him and the sink. He lifted me up a little to sit on it, leaning in to kiss me breathless. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt when he tried to pull back. "More," I pleaded. A hard thigh found its way between my legs and he thrust gently, alternating the amount of pressure until I came. "That was a freebie," he told me. "Got to go before I'm late. Enjoy my shower massager." He was gone before I calmed completely down from the orgasm. I showered and went upstairs to work on my searches. He wasn't on site but as I was leaving, he was returning. He greeted me the same as the other men did, not one hint of what was happening with us. I comforted myself with a pint of Ben & Jerrys and the thought that my imaginary hymen was still intact. What we had done had been a hell of a lot of fun for me but it wasn't sex.