Earth, somewhere in between the past and the future

Dean Winchester was the kind of man who was seldom alone.

Truth is he was never really good at being alone, even if he didn't feel like talking, he had this need for…contact. A glance, a breath, the occasional heartbeat ringing through the silence. Anything to remind himself that he wasn't alone, that he hadn't been forgotten. Anything to distract him from that crushing weight of loneliness.

So yes, Dean Winchester was a man that wanted and needed. He was the kind of man who couldn't bear the thought of spending too long in his own headspace. Maybe that's why he enjoyed having sex so much; to him it had become so much more than giving in to the throes of lust. It was about being so much more than yourself, it was about becoming one with a person in a simply being in their presence couldn't allow. It was about taking your wants and needs and using them to bring out true nature of the other.

For that brief moment amidst the moans, and thrusts and longing two people came together in ways they will never be able to experience again, not with each other and not with anyone else. So he was a little more romantic than he'd like to think, so these chick flick feelings were becoming more and more frequent. He may be well into his 30s but that didn't mean it was too late to change his spots. If his time in purgatory taught him anything it was that not everything is completely as it seems and nothing is black and white.

And this is why as much as he loved the bunker, he hated it. The bunker meant a home, it meant frequent showers and a home cooked meal, it meant a place to refuel. Much like Bobby's house or Rufus' cabin later, the bunker became a place they could lie their heads down. But it was huge and spacious. As much as Dean loved his own room and an actual kitchen, spacious meant being alone a lot of the time. And alone was something Dean had never been able to do well.

Dean had taken to wandering aimlessly around taking in all it had to offer; there was so much left to see and endless possibilities to discover. But with the library and his own room Sam had taken to being nerdy by himself and what was the point of discovering new things if you couldn't share them with someone.

If he was being totally honest he was beginning to go a little bat shit. He was used to the open road and waking up in a different place every day. This…continuity, this sameness was foreign to him. It wasn't like he didn't like it; he just didn't know what to do with it. He had all the pent up energy and he needed to take it out on something. And since Sam was a moot point there was only one person left that could deal with Dean when he got like this. Which brought him to Dean Winchester's issue of the day: Castiel.

He hadn't seen the angel in quite some time. Not since him and Sam had found him with a very dead Samandriel in his arms and blood tears dripping from his eyes, an image that wasn't likely to leave him anytime soon. They still hadn't gotten an explanation for the nights events, for all they knew Cas could be straddling the line of good and the dark side all over again. But he had to believe differently, if he wanted to keep it all together he had to believe that the angel wasn't betraying him again.

He could almost hear the rustling of wings when he closed his eyes, in the corner of his eye he could swear he saw the glimpse of a tan trench coat rounding the corner. And in his heart he could feel that ache when he realized that his mind had been playing tricks on him again. What it all boiled down to was that he missed the nerdy bastard more than he thought he could miss someone who wasn't Sammy. So he had taken to praying again like he did he purgatory, every day sometimes several times a day and today was no different.

"Cas?" He whispered into the air, knowing full well that he was praying in vain. "Look I don't know what's going on, and I don't know what kind of mess you've gotten yourself into this time…but I'm here. I just want you to know that I'm here and I'm willing to listen…and I need…" His voice faltered a bit. "I just need to know that you are ok. So please, if you're listening just don't forget you have a home here…with m-us. You have a home with us."

He looked around the room half hoping to see that awkward, trench coat wearing angel looking at him through squinted eyes. But all he got was the crush of disappointment that he tried to ignore as he left his room in search of Sammy. As much as he tried to deny it he knew deep down he was really hoping the angel would show up this time.

Somewhere in heaven, neither now or then

Naomi was speaking again, as she does, discussing the perils of fraternizing with the likes of Dean Winchester. And Cas was doing his best to ignore it but after days, months...years (at this point he couldn't even tell) It was getting harder and harder to stop her lies from getting in.

That spark that had long lit Cas' eye was now gone. He was being hard wired back to his factory settings, being trained not to care, not to feel. And yet- "I need to know you are ok" He constantly heard Dean's prayers pounding on his skull like a migraine, demanding his attention whether he liked it or not. "I just want you to know that I'm here" Every time he heard the hunter's pleas to come back, the shell Naomi was steadily building around the angel chipped away, piece by piece, making him believe that he could build up the strength to rid himself of Naomi's control once and for all. But she would just break him all over again, shut down any dream of escape he had. His thoughts of leaving did him no good; they only lead to Castiel's punishment and re-programing. "Just don't forget you have a home here…with m-us. You have a home with us." But not this time, no, this time he would make it back, make it…home. Every prayer, every word gave him strength. One day he'd break free, no matter the cost.

"I know Dean, I know." He whispered.

Naomi paused in her latest ramble. "What was that Castiel?"

The very broken angel gave her a cold smile "Nothing Naomi, nothing at all."

Back on earth, several weeks later and very much here and now

Much to his dismay Dean was still bored and still missing a certain multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. He spent several hours inventing new ways to distract his brother from his reading, each more hilarious and childish then the next. In a huff of rage Sam threw the nearest glass at his big brothers head, narrowly missing him. Dean took that as a sign to give it a rest, so he wandered back into his bedroom. It was funny how much time he was spending there alone, despite the fact that he would much rather be elsewhere. He sat on the corner of his bed, where he usually did in times like this. He had his eyes closed and his fingers intertwined with each other. He pushed every other thought from his mind and focused on one face, one name, as if willing him here was an option. He was willing so hard he could hear that rustle of wings again, bringing a smile to his lips.

"Hello Dean" his gravely voice sliced through Dean like a hot knife. He tried to ignore the shivers going down his spine as he opened his eyes. Unless Dean had totally lost his mind, there he was, looking a little more worse for wear than usual but alive. And at that moment that was all that really mattered.

"Cas…" He ran up to the angel and wrapped him in a tight embrace with no sign of ever letting go. "You're alive." he breathed. After a few (very awkward but strangely nice moments) Cas wrapped his arms around Dean just as fiercely.

"That I am." He whispered. And if that didn't surprise Dean enough the angel let out a tiny sigh and buried his face into Dean's neck. Dean's eyes widened as he started to mentally backpedal. This hug was becoming more intimate than he initially wanted. And it certainly didn't help that Cas' warm breath on his neck was shooting shockwaves straight to his-

A tiny cough from the doorway and Dean's eyes sprang open (Oh God! When did he close his eyes?) as he broke free from Cas' hold. "Sammy! Look who showed up!" His voice strangely high pitched and chipper.

Sam's eyes narrowed as he looked from Dean to Cas and back finally shooting his brother a questioning glance. "Yeah Dean I can see that." he said, still squinting. He turned to Cas with one of his warmest smiles and clap on the back. "Cas, man. Great to see you but what happened back there? And how did you know to come here?"

"Dean." Was all the angel said.

The boys exchanged confused looks. "Care to explain that, Cas?" Up to that point Cas had been regarding the ground with intense interest as if he could find the words to say written at his feet.

"Dean" he replied again. "That's how I found you, through Dean's prayers." He finally looked up long enough to gaze at the oldest Winchester with wonder. "You've been thinking about me a lot lately, and that sa-that's what lead me here." Dean couldn't help the blush that was now creeping on his features.

"I was just worried man." He mumbled being sure to avoid everyone's gaze, especially his brother's.

"I'm am sorry if I worried you, but everything is fine now. Do not concern yourselves with this." Sam and Dean exchanged similar "what the fuck" faces.

"Don't concern ourselves? Dean asks.

"Seriously, the last time we saw you, you were sitting in a corner going all mental patient 101. And not to mention Alfie." At the sound of the fallen angels name Castiel gave a very visible shake.

"Come on Cas." Sam says gently. "Talk to us, whatever you are going through, we can help."

Cas, who had been staring at the ground again as if he hoped it would open up for him finally looked up with so much fear and pain in his eyes that the boys realized that whatever was going on. It went so much deeper than they had ever thought.

"Please" Cas whispers in a broken voice, "please, just let me deal with this…please" Cas' eyes fall onto Dean's and they hold each others gaze for a while speaking both nothing and everything. Dean opens his mouth to argue some more, Sam seeing this cuts him short.

"Okay Cas, we'll let this go for now, but don't think we've forgotten."

"Thank you," the angel whispers, gratitude flowing out like a river. "Thank you."

"Uhhh Cas," Sam continues, "Could we have a moment?" Cas nods once and blinks out of the room, going wherever it is he goes when he's not with the boys.

Dean waits all of two seconds before losing his cool.

"The hell Sam!" Dean explodes " Why did you let this go? Whatever is going on….its heavy and it's destroying him!"

"Yeah well we aren't helping." Sam says calmly. "In case you didn't remember he was insane not to long ago, and that doesn't just go away. We don't want to rock a boat thats already in risk of capsizing. Look, I know you're scared for him, I am too. And I know you want to help but we can't help him if we push him over the edge. Let him come to us and we'll deal with it together."

As much as he didn't want to admit it Dean knew his little brother was right. Cas has had his gourd cracked once…it would do no one any good to have it happen again. "Fine" Dean agrees angrily " but if he goes postal on our asses again I'm pumping him for as many answers as I damn well please."

"I know you will" Sam says in that voice he saves for when he knows something Dean doesn't.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Dean yells and his brothers retreating back. He is answered with nothing but a laugh.

Over the next couple of days Dean spends his time dragging his the angel around home base. From the basic things like the kitchen and bathroom to the more interesting things like the vast library (in Sam's opinion) and the secret passage ways and trap doors. He drags Cas to all his favorite spots and and his least favorite spots and Cas, who never seems to enjoy himself, does. He laughs at all of Deans stupid jokes, appreciates the simple complexities of each room and never seems to tire of the fact that Dean has spent the past couple of days with all the excitement of a 10 year old.

In short Dean and Cas's relationship has turned a new page, now Dean could show Cas all the nuances of humanity and Cas without the threat of imminent death hanging over their heads and Cas could truly learn what it was like to be human without the judgment from his garrison. They were happy, enjoying each others company, the only issue was his stupid little brother, who would smirk knowingly every time he saw them together. But even that was remedied before long, in a little incident that included hair dye, crazy glue and feathers Dean managed to shut Sam up for a while. If the hunter ever cared to admit this to himself, he'd say this was the happiest he's been for as long as he could remember.

But like many things in his life, that happiness came to an end.