A/N: Partially inspired by two lines from Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card: "I wish I had died before seeing him, he will surely undo me before he is through." and "He is dangerous, he is beautiful, I could drown in his understanding."
Much thanks to my beta WinterBaby19- she saved this story.
Disclaimer: If I owned Chuck, I'd be married to him by now. :)
Such Cruelty
Done. Completely done. Done with her.
She'd done it again. Broken him. Except this time it could not be mended. This time, he could not forgive her.
He almost couldn't comprehend what had just happened. But again, he should have expected this. He never got the girl. Chuck Bartowski never got the girl.
In the instant he saw Bryce, the grin on his face slid off. The day had been going so well up to that point.
They had almost died, but still.
He really felt something between them. And that kiss…But the moment he saw Bryce he knew it was over. He nodded at Bryce and Sarah. Then he turned around and walked away. He felt himself shutting down. He was done trying.
He heard a voice behind him as he walked away. The voice was distorted and he couldn't understand what was being said but he didn't care.
Chuck didn't think he deserved such cruelty. What exactly had he done to her to deserve this? He thought she was a good person. But pretending to like someone to get them to do things was pure evil as far as he was concerned.
So he was done. He was exhausted. This secret life ate at him like acid. The missions, the lies…
But mostly her.
She could do whatever she wanted with Bryce now. They both marked a horrible time in his life. They deserved each other.
The sooner he got the Intersect out of his head the better. Before his motive had been different. Before he wanted to be rid of it so that he and Sarah could be together. Or at least to see what existed between them. Now he wanted the Intersect out so that she would just leave.
Sarah had never been this tired in her life. And yet though darkness filled the room, she couldn't sleep. The moonlight allowed her to make out Bryce's chest slowly falling and rising next to her. She wished she couldn't see him so she shifted onto her side so that her back was to Bryce.
The look on Chuck's face was stamped in her mind. The look on his face when he'd seen Bryce with her. One of such utter bewilderment and betrayal. Or maybe it was the look in his eyes. Those deep expressive eyes. She knew in that moment that he'd never forgive her. And that killed her.
She wasn't quite sure what was happening. She didn't want to hurt him. And yet she seemed to hurt him constantly in one way or another. Why?
Even in that first moment in the Buy More when she'd met him, she'd known he was something special. She'd never known someone like Chuck. His goofy half smile and outward kindness caught her off guard and she knew immediately it was going to be difficult to keep her feelings out of this one.
Chuck was different. He wasn't the suave James Bond type; not like Bryce. Bryce, whom she'd liked for his confidence and ability. But Bryce never made her weak at the knees or lose control. Chuck could give her one small smile and she was falling. He was disarming. He was dangerous, he was beautiful, and she could drown in his understanding. Every wall she'd built up around her was crumbling as a result. She loved him. She knew it. She had never used that word with anyone before. Not even with Bryce. But with Chuck, she knew she loved him just as she knew that breathing was vital to living. And yet Bryce lay next to her.
Her duty to her job had always meant so much to her. But with Chuck, she found herself asking so many more questions. Did she want to work all her life? What did she want in life? Did she want that picket fence?
The whisper in the back of her mind said yes. Yes, she wanted that white picket fence and the kids and the dog. She wanted them with Chuck. But how?
Could she ever fix this?
When Chuck got home he dropped the single red rose into the garbage.
He wouldn't take this anymore.
He couldn't.