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A/N- This started as a narrative of Shalimar's life before Adam found her, but turned into 8 little poems and a prose piece. Keep in mind that I stop using punctuation and capital letters for a reason. Comments are welcome.
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Life never used to be this way.
Something's changing.
Am I crazy?
Am I going insane?
What's wrong with me?
Is this normal?
No.
How can this be normal…
~*~*~
How is this happening to me
It's like a recurring dream
A bad dream
One minute I'm fine
Then suddenly
My brain goes crazy
Wild
I'm crouching
Growling
Hunting
Stalking
They want to send me away
I don't want to go…
~*~*~
i'm not in control
i hurt someone
i can't remember
dear god
i'm scared
confused
help me
hear me
rescue me from myself
~*~*~
all I do is cry
cry and wait
i'm cold
and alone now
i want to go home
i can't
it's dark
it's damp
i'm scared
it's coming
i can feel it
the demon in my head
i can't stop it
i can't control it
I CAN'T CONTROL IT
STOP
PLEASE
please
~*~*~
feel sick
can't stand up anymore
food
need food
it needs food
don't have food
can't go out there
can't go anywhere
they're afraid of me
i'm afraid of me
~*~*~
tired
pain
tears
noise
loud
scared
light
~*~*~
his name is Adam
he gave me his hand
he's not scared of me
he smiled at me
nice smile
he's worried though
about me
how did he find me
he says he can help me
he wants to help me
it's pretty here
big
it's not dark
no noise
i feel safe
~*~*~
It's disappearing
I can't believe it
I haven't felt it in a week
Except when I'm training
Adam says I'll be able to control it soon
Then I can help people
He says I can help people
Just like me
I'm happy
For the first time in a while
I'm happy
Thanks to Adam
~*~*~
"What are you doing?"
Shalimar looked up from the scraps of paper. "Reading," She answered placing the motel stationary back in the wooden box.
"Anything interesting?" Adam asked sitting down on the floor beside her.
"I guess." She smiled closing the collection and placing it beside her. "What are you up to?"
"Oh, nothing. Just taking a break from the lab." The middle-aged man replied leaning back on his elbows. There was a comfortable silence between the two friends for a second. In the stillness, Shalimar suddenly turned to him.
"Adam, can I ask you a question?"
"Shoot"
"Do you ever regret the way your life turned out? Do you ever wish you didn't have to do what we do?"
He was quiet for a moment. Shalimar watched his thoughtful face as his brilliant mind pondered her query. "I ask myself that sometimes."
"And what do you answer?"
He looked to her and shook his head. "Never." Shalimar smiled as he sat up and put an arm around her. "What about you?"
"Never."