This is my first English story Yay! Well it was difficult because my English level is a little bit low… but I finally managed to do it as a little project, my next story will be also in English
You graduated, and went to the first Idol company you could find the same day, although rejected, quickly composed yourself and keep searching, they were harsh, wanting all µ's, you said that they would join once they ended their studies, but they weren't fools, they knew about the decision of the others to not continue as Idols, you were depressed, until a little company hired you.
Then the second year trio graduated, although you tried to convince them to join you, they rejected the offer as Nozomi and Eri did, arguing about their promise. You decided to not keep pressure on the subject and continued in that little company, but even with your greatest efforts, you didn't advanced at all.
Then she graduated, that day you were really nervous as you waited her, you wanted to say how much you loved her, how much you longed to be by her side, when you found her, walking quietly in the Otonokizaka school terrains, without Rin or Hanayo, you called her name happily, and although a little bit surprised, she didn't said anything and instead looked at you coldly, you didn't notice and tried to talk, but your throat was dry and you couldn't make any sound. With the words stuck, you tried to close the distance, she was surprised but when you touched her hand, she quickly rejected it, you were surprised and tried to make a joke at her rudeness after so long but you couldn't talk, she got angry at you, saying that you didn't even tried to call her all the time and that showing up on her graduation day was the most stupid idea you could have ever done, she slapped you, hard, you couldn't think well now, she screamed how much she hated you and you felt your heart being thrown all over the world against an enormous wall, she walked away, and you couldn't move, you wanted to cry but you couldn't, you wanted to throw off a bridge, but you couldn't, you barely noticed Rin and Hanayo, who were watching the whole scene trying to comfort you, they said that they left her alone for a bit to go and buy some drinks, you didn't listened to any of their words, and when Hanayo hugged you, you regained control of your senses and cried your heart off, she was patting your head while Rin watched uncomfortably, they explained that after you called them the day before to plan your confession and agreed, they thought about stopping you, knowing that she was mad at you but they didn't said anything because you were really looking forward to it.
You couldn't be mad to them, it was your fault entirely, and you should have called her every day, after you calmed down, they took you to your apartment, a little bit surprised at how little it was, you didn't said anything and they left, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You cried silently all night in your bed.
The next day, your boss, whom you were working your ass off, decided that you "Were no longer enough", you would have beat the crap out of him, but you couldn't, knowing that he would probably use that as blackmail. You decided to not saying anything and leaved silently.
The next day she called everyone (except you) because she was going to a Medical University abroad. The next week everyone were there in the airport to congratulate her for her accomplishment you were barely holding back the tears, she didn't said anything to you not even where she was going or that she was going, as Nozomi had called you, when her eyes caught yours, you noticed her cold and indifferent glare for a moment before she looked away to talk to Hanayo. Your heart broke even more, you longed to stop her.
She said goodbye to everyone except you and you really started considering throwing yourself off a bridge.
You noticed Nozomi worried gaze, you decided to ignore her, she knew how much you wanted to cry but didn't said anything, the moment she leaved, you knew that the others were glaring at you, but before anyone could make a sound you run as fast as you could, knowing that no one would chase you.
You stayed in your apartment that day, ignoring the frequent calls from Nozomi and Eri, you couldn't stop crying, the next week when Honoka came to your house, you tried to hide your emotions, but ended up crying helplessly in her arms, she was shocked when you confessed the reason of your sadness, she didn't knew much but tried to make a joke about you not being honest before and even then showing so much affection for her, you cried harder and she apologized quickly, excusing herself uncomfortably about helping her mother at their store, leaving you crying and depressed once more.
Nobody came again, not even Nozomi or Eri.
Everyone started taking different paths, you didn't care what they did, because you just wanted to know what she was doing.
It didn't take long for you to realize that you would never be a real Idol, more because you was alone, you remembered your first and second year at school, knowing that it had happened again, you left it… like that old guy said, "You were not enough", You thought about calling Nozomi, as she had gave you her new cell number months ago, but you discarded the idea quickly, knowing that she was probably busy.
You begin searching for another thing to do, finding that your "Idol's Wrath" has taken 2 years of your possible study time, you found a job at a maid café, they didn't pay you too much but at least is was better than anything, you start the Laws career, hoping that it was something you could do without having to rely on anyone else.
Nozomi and Eri tried to keep contact with you, calling from time to time and coming to your apartment once a month, you appreciate their help, as you didn't tried to make any friend at college.
After 3 years of the same routine, you see on an interview that she is doing well, all of her hard work had made her accomplish to finish her career in 2 years more, you're not, Laws were much more difficult than you thought in the first place, but you would make it, while you were thinking, something in the news draws your attention, as the interviewer asks her about her love life, your breath it's hitched and as you're about to turn off the television, she says coldly that she is not interested in anyone, although this is not the first time you watch her in an interview, as she usually returns to Japan from time to time, it surprises you, nobody asked her that before, the interviewer is a little taken aback, and you can't help laughing, after all this time, she is still a tsundere.
Nozomi calls you to make a party for her 2 years later, you're reluctant to go, but she manages to make you promise that you will go, saying that if you refuse, she's going to go to your apartment and punish you, it's not the threat itself what makes you accept, but the longing of seeing her again. You thought you would get over with it, but you couldn't, although heartbroken the feeling remained the same.
The day before the welcome party, you're nervous again, not sure of what to do, you can't sleep, as the feeling of her words that day linger in your mind, you start thinking of possible scenarios, some including her hitting you repeatedly and saying how much she hated you, you try not to think too much about it and keep trying to sleep.
You can't and you are extremely tired by the time Nozomi and Eri shows up, her hand tightly holding Eri's, you go to change your clothes and when you return, you roll your eyes as they are snogging in front of you, you clear your throat loudly and tell them you're ready, both of them are red with embarrassment and you just laugh a bit, it's so nice to be able to mock Nozomi for a change.
But then you can't say much more as you're extremely nervous, according to Nozomi, it's a surprise party held at her house, their parents were out of the country for the moment, and they granted permission to make the party, since she doesn't have a house yet.
When you arrive, the house is basically a mess, Honoka and Rin being totally excited about their reunion after so many years that are turning the house upside down, they are more excited as they see you, asking why did you never tried to call anyone, you're amused, and calm them down arguing that you've been studying really hard, which is not a lie but it's not the truth.
Nozomi quickly interrupts by saying that she is coming with Hanayo from the airport, and that they are close, you help the two hyperactive ones cleaning and when Nozomi gives the alarm, you tense but quickly hide behind an armchair.
The voice you have longed to hear since 5 years rings through your ears, talking amusedly to Hanayo, as they are in the lobby and you are all waiting in the living room, Nozomi pats your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile, you try to smile back and the door opens, all of you jumps and screams the classical "Surprise!"
She is surprised at first, but it quickly fades as her smile grows, and everyone rush to her side (except you) to hug her, she finds you, and her smile fades as quickly as it has showed, she send a questioning glare to Nozomi, who looks like a little child that has made a little prank, you are worried things are going to be awkward again, more when she suddenly exits the room.
You are sad again, Eri puts her hand in your shoulder and you don't try to listen to her words, Nozomi exits the room too, you are willing to get out of there as fast as you can but Eri stops you, saying something about leaving it to Nozomi.
Everyone is quiet now, they look at you pitifully, you don't like it, several minutes goes on before Nozomi appears again with her, you don't dare looking at her direction and instead look at the ground, you notice movement and when you look up, she's taking you by the hand.
She takes you to a room with a piano, you are surprised that she has taken your hand, so you look at her, she doesn't look at you, and instead is looking at your hand, you see sorrow in her eyes and you are worried again, you try to say something but she cuts your words, hugging you tightly.
Your body seems to react by itself as your arms encircle her neck, you start crying, you had missed her warmth so much, she doesn't notice at first but as she does she looks at you, she is also crying, she hugs you tighter and you feel happy, which hasn't happened since a long time, after both of you have calmed down, she starts telling you what Nozomi tell her, apparently, she had told her about the days after she left, she asks you if it's true that you haven't eaten for a week and that you were depressed and didn't go out your house in weeks.
You are still hugging her, your face hidden in her chest, she has grown so much…, you didn't, you are almost the same height as when you had 16, you tell her the truth, excluding of course how much you died then and now to hold her and do so much things to her body, she listens to you carefully, her hands on your waist feel way to much warm to you, you want to kiss her, you want to hold her tighter than you are currently doing and you want to feel that beautiful body of hers with your hands and mouth, you look at her and the closeness takes your breath, she looks at you puzzled and you wonder if you are drooling, you instantly look at other place, stammering.
She laughs a bit and you love her voice when she does, you love her, so much that it hurts a lot right now, you hesitate a bit but as she calms a little, you look at her, and close the distance, her lips are way more better than what you had expected, it doesn't last to much because you want to see her reaction, she had stopped laughing and is now looking at you surprised, her lips slightly parted, you are mortified, you want to get out of there before she has a chance to reject you, but as you try to free yourself from the hug, she brings you closer and press her lips to yours passionately, you don't have words to describe it, it's feels so good, you pull her even closer, returning the kiss and she slowly licks your lips, a moan is muffled in her mouth and you let her in, her tongue sweet and warm, you notice she has started to move her hands through your body and you moan more, feeling her hands on your breasts, she starts kissing and licking your neck, you are amazed, you never thought that this would happen, she starts to take off your clothes and you remember that there's other people in the house.
She is licking and nibbling your ear, you notice she's about to take off your shirt and you reluctantly tell her to stop, she looks at you, you see desire and confusion on her eyes, you grab her by the chin and quickly press a kiss to her mouth, you tell her to wait a bit, as the others are still there and probably on the door eavesdropping.
She says that she's not going to wait, but as she hears sound behind the door she stops reluctantly, you are happy, finally, all the things you've dreamed of are now a reality, well, except one, you kiss her again, and try to put all the love you felt for her in it, she returns it and although you should be convinced, you need her to say it, you timidly ask her if she likes you, she is a little bit taken aback with the question but she shrugs it off quickly, she kisses you passionately and she says how much she loves you and how much she has waited for this moment to happen, then she asks you the same, you are totally honest, you had loved her since the very first moment you've seen her, she smiles at you warmly and you can't fight the stupid smile in your face.
You say that it's better to go to the party, and then both of you could have fun later, you wink at her and she blushes, she starts to stammer and you grab her hand, she blushes even harder and you just giggle a bit, you open the door and 5 girls falls in the room, Nozomi laughing as Eri almost ended in the floor as well, you can't hold back your laugh and you see her also laughing, you give her hand a squeeze and smile at her, Nozomi starts mocking you and both of you blushes as she notices the way your clothes are and you just shrug it off, you are embarrassed but you don't say anything.
The party goes well, you talk normally to everyone, they don't care that you didn't do it since 5 years, they are happy to see you as much as you do, she didn't release your hand at any time, and you are more happy for it, at sometimes you sneak with her to kiss, but you don't do anything else as it would be easily discovered, both of you waiting for the party to end.
As it ends and Honoka convince everyone to sleep in the house, you just say that you want to sleep with her and although she blushes and scolds you, you can see her smiling a bit, Nozomi looks at you with mischief but you just smile at her, she is confused but she is also looking at you approvingly, you thank her for everything she did and she just shrug it off, saying that she is happy to help a friend, you hug her, earning a jealous look from her, you just let out a small chuckle and take her hand again.
As you go into the room with her, you can't hold back, you lock the door and tackle her gently into the bed with a hug and start kissing her, she doesn't stay behind and quickly change sides, kissing and nibbling at your neck, that night is the best for you, she is all the things you had expected, even more, and you show everything to her, not holding back even a bit, that night you know you're totally in love with her.
You don't have any regrets, and you know she doesn't either.
A.N.: I tried using a different way of telling the story, I hope you all like it. As always, thank you for reading, I hope it was good enough to read it till the end… please leave me a review if you notice a mistake (Which are probably many), R&R as they say and special thanks to BRH, Why? I don't really know :p.