Disclaimer: Don't own GA.
My Guardian Angel
By: S.L.
"To die will be an awfully big adventure."
-J.-
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One
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I slowly took off my yellow sweater and adjusted my tie. I brushed a few strands of hair off of my face and tucked it behind one ear.
For a bright spring day, I felt somewhat cold. No, I felt freezing.
I wouldn't call it superstitious but it was definitely ironic.
I smoothen out my checkered plaid skirt, slung my bag over my shoulder and closed my locker. It made a loud clang disturbing the couple who were secretly (not really) making out behind it. They shot me a glare, but continued on relentlessly testing each other's vigor.
I rummaged through my bag and got out a pale purple mirror.
Hair? Auburn and pulled into a sleek Emily Dickinson style bun with long fringes.
Face? Clear and fair.
Lips? Glossed with Strawberry flavored lip balm.
Uniform? Tidy and creaseless.
Expression? As stoic as ever.
I walked through the busy hallways packed with people who had their personal lives to spare. Oddly, I find watching them amusing. Seeing their masks of innocence and need to fit in slowly crumbling, I couldn't help but stifle a snicker. Every single person, here, in this very hallway, had lived fragmented lives which their facades are portraying. Loneliness, depression, hatred, broken hearted, dejected…I looked over to my side and eyed a boy who was fondling his girl's ass…or sexually retarded.
Their perplexed smiles, their quivering lips, I could see how much their trying so hard to cover up their true selves. Their demonic sides they wouldn't want others to discover. Honestly, I find it intriguing, at the same time, annoying.
I reached out and pulled on the door. My classmates were rather taken aback by my sudden appearance and stood there frozen, their hands carrying boxes of thumbtacks meant to be spread out on my chair.
"Excuse me." I walked pass them, a soft breeze wavering my hair.
I placed my bag on the floor and sat down on my chair. They gave me a hostile look before returning to their own business, which was plotting to make my life even more miserable.
I felt something prick my finger.
I sighed. Really, these women are starting to degrade themselves to idiots for using lame, petty tricks.
I tore off the taped razors in my binder and threw them in the trash bin.
"You know," I said to the snickering bunch who probably saw the whole thing as an innocent little prank, "I could lend you a nice book."
They folded their arms and raised their brows. "Huh? What are you talking about bitch?"
"I could lend you a book. Bullying for Dummies. It might be of use to you."
They were about to slap me when the teacher came.
One girl, the leader of the troop, walked forward.
"Don't think you could talk back at us with impunity Sakura-san. You're just a pretty little whore." The whole class erupted with chuckles on her remark. Were they laughing because they find our fight entertaining, or was it because in their opinion as well, it was true?
The teacher could care less and dismissed the matter as though it was normal for high school students to call each other whores and bitches.
I sat back down on my chair and stared at the wonderful display of falling peach blossom petals. My eyes couldn't help but try to follow each one of them as they cascade through the air. The sight was typical, but enigmatic and it had a hypnotizing effect.
Why is life so cruel?
If God truly did create us for a reason, if God truly was merciful and always forgave us, if there truly is a God, shouldn't he be making his grand entrance into my life by now?
I diverted my attention to my teacher. Who I knew, was having a fun time peeking at the girls' blouses. Other students probably didn't notice it, but, with close observation, you would notice that he would always lecture at one part of the stage. I stood up on that area once, and pink lacy bras greeted my vision. I tried warning the girls, but I guess modesty wasn't written in their vocabulary. They would care less even if they go topless to school, at least they earned attention.
"Sakura!" Prof. Jinno called slamming his stick on the table.
"Yes, teacher?"
"It seems that you're not focusing well enough. You may be the daughter of a well off family, but that does not give you any rights to continue that lax behavior in my class."
Actually, that does give me the rights.
I got up from my seat and bowed.
"Forgive me, sir. My concentration is somewhat blurry due to insomnia."
"And what, pray tell, could be the reason why you're suffering from insomnia?" I could feel the tenacity on his voice. He was doubting me, thinking I was merely making up reasons.
"Sir, my debut in the economical society is coming near. Father wants me to socialize as much as possible. Therefore he takes me to the executive council meetings that occur twice a week. And I just arrived from a formal campaign in Maldives this 4 am. Leaving me no time to rest. If you do not believe me, my father would warmly accept a parent-teacher conference with you."
He gritted his teeth.
"If that would be all, sensei. I have the principal's permission to leave for a business appointment at 9." I smiled inwardly. The look on his face was a mixture of humiliation and fury.
I reached for my bag and made my way out of the classroom.
"You insolent dolt." I heard Prof. Jinno mutter under his breath.
I halted and took a good glimpse at the name written across the black board.
"Victor Hugo, born on February 26, 1802 in Besancon, France. Son of Joseph-Léopold-Sigisbert and Sophie Trébuchet. His famous novels were the Hunchback of Notre-dame and Les Miserables. He died in Paris on May 23, 1885 at the age of 83…that's just a summary, want to hear more?" I said in a seemingly self confident tone.
He looked lost for a minute there but returned to his usual ill tempered self. "What are you yapping about, Sakura?"
I bent my head slightly to the right in a supposedly cute angle that would release female pheromones, but I guess the 'lovely transformation' only works on cute girls or else it'll give the exact opposite of the desired effect. Rather than looking apologetic it seemed as though I was provoking him on purpose.
His brows furrowed and the number of wrinkles on his forehead increased by a dozen.
"Well, you did call me a dolt, sensei. And dolts refer to stupid people, if I stand corrected. I am just trying to prove to you otherwise. Because if I am stupid, what would that make you?" I flicked my hair to the side with a swish and made my grand exit leaving behind a fuming and nearly bald teacher.
-
Out of all the places in the world, I couldn't help but wonder why I felt most at peace in the tiny park near the market place. I liked the feel of the hot sun blazing down on my skin and the sound of dry leaves getting crushed with every step. Or perhaps, it was because I enjoy the air of isolation, since no one comes here anymore because of the amusement park built right next to it.
I climbed up and sat on top of my favorite yellow slide.
From there, I could see a spectacular view of the red sunset. It was a blinding yet a memorable sight to behold. It made it seem as though it was autumn, my favorite season.
A small figure caught my eye.
It was a young boy curled up on the ground crying his heart out. He was small and stubby and had grey hair contrasting his pale complexion.
"Hey, boy," I said tapping his shoulder.
He continued to cry and wail out his mom's name as if I wasn't a few inches away from him and getting tone deaf by the loudness of his voice.
"Hey." I poked him but he ignored me and shriveled on the ground.
I opened my bag, got out my Chemistry book and slammed it on his head. A huge lump formed, making his head looked like a flipped light bulb.
"What the---!" He whined massaging the lump.
I returned the book in my bag and faced him. "I've been trying to communicate effectively with you these past few minutes yet you were ignoring my presence. I had no choice but to catch your attention."
"But you could at least do a gentle way of doing it…"
"Why did you look as though you were suffering from neurosis anyway?"
"What's neurosis?" He asked, his pudgy hands rubbing his sparkling eyes. He was so cute. But unfortunately his childish charms do not work on me.
"A general term used for mental or emotional disorders."
His mouth formed an 'O' shape.
"You haven't answered my question, little boy."
"Well you see. I got separated from my mother. I've been looking for her but I can't find her." He explained with a runny nose.
"Do you know her social security number? Mobile? Name and address?" I asked, wiping a crocodile tear from the corner of his eye.
"All I know is mommy's name is Kaoru and she's really pretty…she's got long red hair that's very soft and huge eyes…." I couldn't quite get a vivid image with his descriptions but deiced to give it a try nonetheless.
I flipped my phone open and dialed my residential number.
"Hello. Yes, Yokohoma, this is Mikan. I want you to search for a woman named Kaoru. Probably middle aged, red hair. With a son named…" My voice trailed away as I waited for him to understand my signal and answer.
"Oh!," He reacted a bit late "Youichi!"
"With a son named Youichi. Manipulate security positions 7 and 8. She's most likely within the city perimeter. Search internal database for possible matching bio datas." I glanced at the young boy who was fondling with his red polo shirt.
"Bring her to the park near the amusement center." I shut my phone.
I glanced at him once again. He was kneeling on the ground observing a leaf with shimmering eyes as though it was special.
"Oba-chan, look a cocoon!" He beamed at me pointing at the hanging chrysalis.
I winced at the term 'grandma'.
"You know oba-chan. My brother used to look at cocoons with me," I could hint the melancholy in his voice. "My brother's super handsome and has lots of fan girls. And he had weird bulgy things in his stomach. He said they were symbols of his manliness."
I rolled my eyes. Abdominal muscles AKA Symbols for Manliness, really, his brother is certainly narcissistic.
He began weeping again.
"What the hell are you crying for, boy?" I flicked his forehead using my fingers.
I don't know why I suddenly feel infuriated. Or maybe what I was feeling was the intense irritation that I can't do anything to calm him down and it makes me feel guilty.
"Brother used to be very kind. He used to yank my cheeks until it was red or steal my underwear and hang it outside like a flag."
I really can't understand a child's definition of 'kindness'.
"He was sometimes cold but he would come to my room and read me stories every night whenever I get nightmares."
I had the bizarre prediction on where this was going. I noticed the way he always used the past tense regarding his brother.
"Then, one morning I wanted to play at the park. Mom was busy so I forced him to come. I didn't know there were mean people there. I accidentally spilled juice on one guy and he became very mad. He got out his fire blaster and pointed it at me. I only heard a scary noise and then brother was already on the floor. There was red water everywhere." He wiped the snot from his nose using his shirt and continued. "We went to the doctor. But he said something to mama that made her cry. I asked her when I could play with brother again, but she said he was already with Big Papa in the sky. And since then, I always looked at cocoons alone…"
I gaped at his brother's tragic end. However, it was not the story that made my heart feel heavy, but it was because I couldn't associate myself with his feelings. The times my parents and I spent with each other were very minimal and mainly include the hours we spend inside an air-conditioned conference room. When my mom died, I didn't cry at all. I couldn't quite understand the feeling of such magnitude of sadness that makes you want to die. I was an only child so I wasn't able to experience the love shared between siblings. All I was trained to do is to grow up to be a well mannered individual who is successful in the field of business. I strive for no other reason. I live for no other purpose.
"Stop crying, it's annoying." I regretted these words as soon as it left my mouth. What else was I suppose to say? I couldn't relate to him.
I sighed in relief when I heard him muffle his last few cries and became silent.
"Mistress!" It was Yokohama. He was sweating and panting hard as though he just passed through several storms and managed to stay alive.
I stood up and brushed the dust off my uniform.
"Do not face me with such despicable composure, Yokohama. Tidy yourself up." I ordered. He fixed his tie and jacket and combed his hair neatly to one side.
I nodded in satisfaction.
"Next time be sure to present yourself with proper countenance." I reminded him, "Now about the woman."
He waved his hand to the black suited guards who were behind him.
A beautiful lady came into view. Her hair was messy and her face had lines of panic and despair.
"Youichi!" She screamed running towards us. Youichi got up and ran towards his mother in a warm embrace.
The scene before me looked like the ones in the movies.
The reunited mother and son thanked me before I ordered Yokohama to drive them home safely.
I was left there in the park. Alone. The way it has always been. The only difference is, I felt emptier than usual.
I went back up the yellow slide and closed my eyes. My body became numb at that moment, and the only thing I could feel was the gentle blow of the wind.
"Hey you."
I exhaled in exasperation. First the boy now this, can I ever get any peace and quiet around here anymore?
I opened my eyes revealing a handsome young lad, around the same age as me. He had tousled raven hair and piercing ruby eyes. He was wearing a white polo that revealed his milky chest, a violation against my dress code. He was showing too much skin.
"What?" I said annoyed.
"Get off my slide." He commanded.
I clenched my fists. What an arrogant bastard.
"Do you actually own this park? If not, I might sue you for illegal recognition of ownership."
"As if you could sue me." He chuckled. That conceited brat.
"What makes you think I can't?"
"Let's just say, I'm not exactly someone whom you could file a case with."
"Are you underestimating the superiority of the Sakura clan, humble sir." I don't usually scare others by taking advantage of my family name, but the situation calls for it. However, his reaction to my threat was unexpected.
His lips curled up into a mocking grin. "The contingency of me getting distressed over your lousy threats is minimal. If it works on others, I'm sorry but I'm immune to those kinds of things."
I was suppressing my anger now.
"And just a tip, if you're planning on scaring some person away. Do it with a little more self-reliance. You're just making yourself look more of a coward by hiding behind your father's name. It's disappointing."
An arrow shot through me. I felt my cheeks flush and my composure falter. I suddenly felt as though I was one of the people who was wearing a mask. Was that the reason why I despise those types of people? Because they were reflections of myself?
"You…YOU BASTARD!"
I jumped from the slide and propelled myself towards him, my hands prepared to strangle that thin neck of his.
My eyes grew wide when my fingers passed through him. And soon, my whole body entered him like he was hologram or something.
I landed face flat on the floor.
I immediately sat up and backed away from him.
"Don't tell me I didn't warn you." He teased while ruffling his dark raven hair.
I just sat there frozen, can't think of anything to say. I couldn't even scream like what most females do when they encounter these sorts of things on films.
"What the hell are you……" I mumbled. I was sweating now. The best scientific explanation I could muster was that he was merely a hologram or perhaps an experimental design by some underground laboratory facility.
But somewhere in my mind, I knew it was different. And I was trying my best to contradict the built up hypothesis that was making me crazy.
But alas, the words I hoped and prayed would never come, escaped from his lips.
"A ghost."
With those two simple words that held much meaning, I felt my nervous system gave way. At least, I managed to lose consciousness, like what the heroines in movies do whenever they learn that the creature before them was a wandering spirit designed to haunt you for all eternity.
-
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Never be afraid of death, for what lies after it is true life. We are already dying right now; our time has just not yet come.