Me: Guess what, Batman?

Batman: What?

Me: I'm officially in the Batman universe! Whoop-whoop!

Batman: Fantastic. Gotham can always use extra crime fighters.

Me: ...Sure...that's what I'm doing here...crime fighting.

Batman: Otherwise I'd have to wrap you up and throw you into jail or Arkham.

Me: Listen, Batsy. I don't own you, nor did I create you. Someone beat me to those rights.

Batman: ...Great.

Me: Now, onto the story. Hope you guys like it! Please, please, PLEASE review!

Two Weeks Ago-Outside the Bank of Gotham

It was a dark night, but reporter April Gonzalez had a news report to do, and she wasn't about to let the public down, especially when the story was so big.

The camera man gave her three fingers, then two, then one.

"Thank you, Jack Ryder," April said, hearing her cue on her earpiece. "Well, Gotham has not slept well tonight, or any night this week, as store after store, house after house has been robbed and torn to pieces. There have been several injuries, but no deaths so far. All the stories are the same. The family leaves the home, sometimes just to take out the garbage, a black-clad figure swoops in, knocks them all out, then robs the house, leaving nothing but furniture. The disturbing is, the majority of the victims claim that it was the Dark Knight, Batman, who struck them."

April pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "The new D.A., Benjamin "Bean" Wrucey, has assured us that Batman is once again in Gotham's most-wanted, but for this helpless woman, there can be no consolation." April turned to the woman she had had off camera for interviewing. "What happened that night, when you were robbed along with everyone else in your apartment floor?"

The woman was ghastly pale, covering the majority of her face with a classy red hat. She had on an overcoat the was bulging on all sides. "Well," she said in an extremely fragile, high-pitched voice, "I was on the floor beneath me. The plumbing had gone out in my floor, so I had to go all the way downstairs, and, well, being old, and not having-"

"Yes," April interrupted before that line of thinking could go any farther.

"I went back upstair about fifteen minutes later. To my surprise, I saw Batman passing me by. He had the mask, the cape, the muscles, everything!"

"Are you sure it was Batman?"

"Oh, and the worst part is that I saw the bags he was carrying. It was only when I had gotten upstairs that I realized that my entire floor had been stolen from. See, everyone had waited as long as they could, but everyone has to go at some point, and we all happened to go at the same time!"

"Lovely. But are you it was Batman?" April asked once again.

"Of course she isn't!" A voice from above Bank of Gotham answered, then burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Joker!" April exclaimed, motioning for the camera man to get a shot of the Gotham criminal.

"Hello, ladies and gents! Joker here!" Joker smiled at the camera. His hair was green and slicked back. As always, he was wearing his very best (only) purple suit with a pink flower attached at the pocket. Joker jumped down, landing nimbly on the ground even though he had been two stories up. April gasped.

"Now, folks, I know Batsy better than anybody in the world!" Joker gushed, putting his arm around April as he walked up to her. Grabbing the mike out of her hand, he continued, "Batman wouldn't just go and ruin my fun by being the bad guy. Not when I'm the most fiendish fiend in all of Gotham!"

"So, are you taking the blame for these robberies?" April asked, being a reporter to the very end.

"No," Joker said simply.

"Then how can you know for sure that-" April was interrupted by the Bank of Gotham's blaring alarm. "An alarm at the bank! He was distracting us!" April couldn't help a small smile. She'd be anchor for sure with all this breaking news in one report.

Joker, meanwhile, looked puzzled. "But..." he said, completely bewildered, "that wasn't me!"

The doors of the bank flew open. Everyone waited in silence for a whole minute. Finally, a thin rope emerged, burying itself into a roof above the bank and across the street. In a flash, a caped figure flew out, pulled by the string. The camera caught every movement. It would later be the most popular video on YouTube for the day.

Batman had robbed a bank.

...

Bruce Wayne watched the entire live news piece. He was in the middle of putting on the Batsuit and heading out to put Joker in Arkham Asylum...again...when he saw Batman come out of the bank. He would have gladly gone down there and arrested Batman, too, but the only problem was, he was Batman!

"Alfred!" Bruce yelled, picking up the pace. Sometimes it was hard to wear a Batsuit over a tuxedo.

"Yes, Master Bruce?" Alfred asked, entering the Batcave. Then his eyes caught the huge television monitor. "My word! Then it is true!" Alfred looked back and forth between Bruce and the TV. "But you're here!"

"Then I guess someone's impersonating Batman again," Bruce groaned, finally putting on his mask and getting into the Batmobile. "Don't wait up, Alfred."

"As always, Master Bruce," Alfred said, heading back upstairs. There was going to be a party in the mansion the next night, and he had that to plan for. Batman would be able to handle himself just fine.

...

Joker managed to get away. He had things to think over now. "So, Bats, you decided to join the bad side?" he thought out loud. He was in his lair, pacing back and forth. "But if you're the villain, and I'm your arch-nemesis, does that make me," Joker gulped, "the hero? Ech!" He couldn't stand the thought.

"But it's no fun if we're on the same side!" he lamented.

Harley Quinn entered the lair then. "What's the matter, Mr. J?" she asked, recognizing his worried expression.

"Oh, Harley," Joker said, slumping onto the floor, "Batsy's gone and ruined the game again!"

"Aww. Did her stop one of your heists again?" Harley asked. Had the boss even had a robbery or something planned for today?

"No, no! He did the heist!" Joker shook his head. Then, an idea struck him. He could've barfed. Standing up straight, he exclaimed, "I'm just gonna have to help Bats!"

Harley gasped. Then the roof of the lair burst open in an explosion. Batman flew in, knocking Harley down during his landing. That hadn't been planned, but Batman didn't show any hesitation. Harley was knocked out, and his target was Joker.

"What are you planning?" Batman asked, gripping Joker by the collar.

"Hello to you, too, Batsy!" Joker said, a smile spread across his face. "If I had known I was getting company, I would've cleaned up the place!" Joker indicated a completely bare room with the exception of the three people in it.

Batman glared. "Who's taking up the Batman mantle now? Penguin? Catwoman? Or are you just using Harley as a stand-in to rob the bank?" Joker just laughed, head tilted back. Batman shook him. "This isn't funny, Joker. I know you know what's going on?"

Joker managed to wipe a tear from his eye. "Oh, so you're not the bad guy here, Bats! I knew you wouldn't betray me like that!"

Batman paused for a moment. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing. I don't know what's going on, Batsy, Joker's honor!" Joker raised his left hand.

"If you had any honor, you would raise the right hand," Batman said.

Joker looked at his hand. "Right hand!" Joker shouted. "Good one, Bats!" He went into another laughing fit.

Batman was getting really tired of this. "You're going back to Arkham, Joker. If I need anything, I'll know where to find you." Batman looked back at Harley. "And she's going too. But this time you guys will be in opposite wings." Really. Arkham had put their cells next to each other. How did they not expect them to escape?

"Do what you want, Bats!" Joker managed to say through fits of laughter. "You'll come back to me, and I'll help you then." All of a sudden, he stopped laughing, deadly serious. "We'll be partners in this one."

Joker managed to keep that straight face for exactly three seconds before he burst out laughing again.

Me: Done with the prologue!

Joker: Prologue? You're evil!

Me: What?

Joker: You're stalling the entire story like that? No one's gonna review.

Me: Bet you a whoopie cusion they will!

Joker: ...You're on! *Insert laughter here*