5 years had passed since the last time I saw him. In those five years, he wasn't the only one who was busy training to become a stronger ninja. I had training too, with the greatest female medic-ninja, and was the current Hokage, Tsunade. But during those five years I didn't only train my skills and intellect but I did a really lot of thinking about my life too. I could only wish that I could go back to the past and wouldn't become a burden to the people around me, especially those precious friends of mine and even teacher.

I had a picture; all three of us posing in front of the camera with our teacher. During that time, we were the special Team 7. Every time I look at the picture, my eyes would look towards my crush, Sasuke. But that crush, faded away as time passes by. On the other hand, when my eyes faced with my other team mate, I felt something in my heart. It began to feel pain, misery yet happy and always hoping he would come by and see me again.

That boy was Naruto, the boy who was shunned by everyone in the village, the boy I had punched, kicked, mocked, and the boy who is determined to become the greatest ninja ever, to become the next Hokage. I admit he always did crazy things, but you should never judge the book by its cover. When you meet him, you would feel the aura of annoyance, childish and even sometimes just plain silly and stupid. Silly Naruto.

It had been five years. I've gotten stronger; a powerful medic-nin who wish to help those in need of help and hurt. But, I'm hurt myself. No one could help me in my sickness. Could I even become the lovely smart girl which I once was? The person who would protect others? Protect the ones I love? I want to protect, Naruto. I want him to come back. I want to see him again. Naruto, please come back. Please hurry.

A figure stood from a far. He had an orange jumpsuit with a smile on his face. He was a 12 year old boy. Naruto? Is that you? He only gave a smile and walked closer to me. "Hi Sakura, how are you?" Naruto spoke. I stood silently in front of him. We were almost close to each other. Suddenly I felt a tear coming down my eye. His face became worried and he asked, "Sakura, are you okay?" My vision became blurry, and all I could hear was his voice, calling my name, "Sakura, Sakura, Sakura!!"

"Sakura, wake up. Are you alright? Sakura!" a felt someone shook my body.

I opened my eyes slowly. At first the vision was blurry but later on I could see Tsunade standing by my side. I was lying down and when I looked around, I was in my room on my bed. What had happened? Why am I lying down? Did something bad happen?

"Ah, Sakura, you're awake." Tsunade spoke and sat beside me on the bed.

I sat up but she quickly stopped me by saying, "You better lie down. You fainted and you shouldn't be moving around to much, after what happened."

So, I rested my head on the comfortable pillow and asked, "What did happen?"

Tsunade gave a confused look, "Well that's what I want to know. What did actually happen to you? We found you lying on the ground somewhere in the village last night. A chunin found you lying on a rooftop unconscious."

I tried to remember what happened before that but I couldn't remember anything. Everything was blank to me. Not even a clue what happened.

"I…..I don't know….I can't remember." I told her. I rubbed my head and closed my eyes for a moment.

Tsunade looked out at the window and faced me, "Well Sakura, you better get some rest for now. I'll see you tomorrow. If you remember anything, just tell me tomorrow. I'll see if I can do anything to help this problem." Tsunade stood up and walked away towards the door. Just as she was about to close the door, she looked back at me and gave a smile, "Don't worry Sakura, I'm sure you'll see him again someday."

I didn't hear what she said; it was like a whisper to me. She then went out and closed the door.

I looked at above and gazed upon the white ceiling. I was all alone now. No one to comfort me when I was down, no one to cheer me up when I was sad, and not even anyone to make my life meaningful. Sasuke had left us and took his own road to find power, Naruto had left us all to train himself with Jiraiya as his teacher and that only leaves me of Team 7.

I couldn't protect Sasuke now. He had left me. I couldn't even do anything for him. I was useless.

Now I know how Naruto felt like. Every time people look down on him, shunned him, hated him, thinking he was a monster and a burden to the whole village. But since we were training, I didn't see him as a monster, but a very close friend and a very nice person to be with. Oh Naruto.

Sakura, you look beautiful.

He stood in front of me. Gazing into my eyes, he came closer towards me with a smile on his face. No. I'm not ready yet. I hesitated and pushed him away.

Sa…Sakura?

I'm sorry Naruto, but I don't think we can be together like this.

We were standing at a sunset, it was a romantic situation.

Sakura……..

Forgive me Naruto, but no.

ROAARR

What the?

The Nine tailed demon fox appeared in front of us.

Naruto stood up against it. "Don't worry Sakura, I'll protect you." He took his stance and was ready to take action against the beast. I'm sure he could do it. He wants to become the best of the best. I always have hope in him but why can't I still accept him as he is? Is it because of his monster? Do I think about him like everyone else; as a demonic monster?

I looked at him, he started his move, "Shadow clone jutsu" multiple copies of him appeared surrounding the Nine Tailed Demon Fox. I'm sure he could defeat it. The monster is dead now. CHA

As I watched Naruto using the shadow clone jutsu, the demon grinned.

Naruto. I am you, you can't kill yourself. You are just a monster like me because you are me. Naruto Uzumaki, the Nine Tailed Demon Fox. HAHAHAHA

No, he is not a monster. Is he? Why am I thinking about this?

Even Sakura over there thinks you're a monster.

What? NO! I don't think you're a monster. It's just that you are….

See, even she thinks she isn't quite sure. She thinks you're a demon, a monster that can kill. She doesn't love you in fact, she hates you, she's afraid of you Naruto. You don't need to love her. Leave her. She is only a burden.

NO!! That's not true; I don't think you are a monster.

Then what do you think I am……Sakura? I know I'm a monster to you. You are just the same as everyone else. You all hate me don't you? I saw tears began to fall from his eyes. Wait…no…tears aren't red. Then, those are…..blood.

All the shadow clones faded; leaving Naruto himself standing in front of me along with the demon.

You think, I'm a monster…………a monster……………a monster.

NO!! Naruto please, listen to me. You are not a monster. You're……

I see him transforming into something, a creature; a combination of a fox and a human. He had nine tails behind him and ears on his head. He spoke, I will never forgive you.

Tears began to fall from my cheeks.

I opened my eyes. It was all a dream. It was like last time. I cried every time I had that dream. I feel sad. Naruto, why? Why Naruto? Why do you really hate me that much? I don't think you as a monster. Forgive me Naruto. Forgive me................

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The sun shined into my room while I was standing in front of the mirror getting ready for the day. A picture of us, team seven, I looked at which was placed on the mirror. Everyday, when I wake up, and seeing the picture, I would always look at him. Naruto. Ever since he left, we didn't contact with each other and we didn't even know how we each other was doing. I can't stop thinking of him; thinking that he will never forgive me for the things that I had done to him or even thoughts on him.

Naruto, if you come back, I want to see you so that I can ask for your forgiveness.

I touched the picture and went out from my apartment for another day. Be strong. I got to be strong.

So, it was a normal day again for me. Everyday I would walk to Konoha's gate in the morning to get any news regarding Naruto's return from the guards. It's been five years and still nothing of Naruto. Have I been forgotten? All the work I have done wasted? I don't believe Naruto would forget about Konoha and everything inside it. I wonder what kind of training he had been through with Jiraiya. Jiraiya is one of the three Sannin while the other two are Tsunade and Orichimaru.

As I approached near the gate, I could see the small guard house. Two ninjas were on duty. I waved and said hai. "Anything?" I asked.

Both of them only shook their heads, a sign there was no news about Naruto.

"Oh, okay then. Thanks" and I walked away from there.

"Poor girl. Every day she's been coming here for the past 5 years waiting for him"

So, there was still nothing on Naruto. Well time to go to do work. Since I'm a medic nin, I might as well go help out some injured people.

Walking down the dusty road , I saw someone wearing a black and orange jumpsuit walking away from me. From behind him, I could see his blond hair and I'm pretty sure I know who that is. I ran as fast as I could and tried to catch up with him. I had my hopes up with a smile on my face. He's back. All I could think was, he's back.

Just as he went into a corner, I almost caught up with him. When I turned at the corner, there was no one there. He wasn't there. But I saw him. Where'd he go? Naruto? I swear I wasn't imagining things. I saw him walking in front from me. Maybe it was just my imagination. Maybe I ate something yesterday.

Ugh, my head, it hurts.

What? Where am I?

I'm on a roof? What? It's night time?

Huh? Who's there?

Hey come back. Don't go away. Wait, I'm holding something in my hands. A….headband? The symbol of the Hidden Leaf Village was on it.

I rubbed my head of the pain.

"Are you alright?" A person walked by and asked me.

"Yeah, I think." I walked away from there towards my destination. While walking, I remembered something and reached for my pouch behind me. Inside I felt something and took it out. I was surprised that I found the headband I saw in my memory. Now, the problem is whose headband is it?

I wondered to myself. I tried hard to remember anything but nothing came back to me and all I have is someone's headband. I held tight to the headband. I continued walking towards my destination towards the nearest clinic to help out if there is something needed to be done.

While entering the clinic, the nurse at the desk walked over to me and asked, "Sakura? Are you okay?"

I looked at her, confused with her question, "I'm fine, why?"

The nurse looked at me in the eyes and spoke, "You're crying"

Huh? Crying? Why would I be crying? I wiped the tears from my cheek and smiled at her showing I'm good. Then she saw I was holding tight on a headband. "Sakura, whose headband is that, someone special to you eh?" She gave me a wink.

Someone special to me?

Again, another memory entered my mind,

I was standing on the roof; someone was standing in front of me. It was a boy, a bit taller than me. His facial features, I couldn't see them, it wasn't clear. He had a headband on his head and he took it off, giving it to me. But I looked at him and asked why.

The boy replied to me, "You hold on to that. I'll come back to fetch it. It's our promise." He gave me an assuring smile.

I looked at him and started to cry. My tears began to fall from my cheeks. He move in closer towards me, gave me a hug and spoke, "Don't worry, you won't have to go through the pain, so I'm going to make you forget our meeting. I'm sorry, Sakura"

"Sakura? You okay there? You spaced out." The nurse asked.

I looked at her and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Better go do my duty" and I walked away from her to go help some patients and ease the doctors burden.

Well it was after I helped people at the clinic, I went to get some fresh air at a nearby park to clear my mind. It was a nice breezy evening. The sun wasn't too bright or too hot, it was just nice. Evenings like this are worth to spend time in the park. I looked out to find a wooden bench and walked over towards it. I sat down and held the headband in my hand.

I looked at it. There was nothing different on it. It was the same thing as mine so what? What's so special about it? Yeah, someone gave it to me; someone special to me but who? Damn you memory, why can't I remember anything. And why did he erase my memory? I took my eyes away from the headband and faced forward.

There I saw someone sitting nearby the pond, crouching and looking down to the surface of the pond. He looked at me and smile.

I stood up and walked over to him but he soon faded away.

Naruto. It was Naruto. Why do I keep seeing his face? Why do I keep imagining him? What is wrong with me? I sat down. My knees became week. I hold tighter on the headband in my hand. Why do I keep remembering him at the time like this? Every time I think about him, I start to cry. Maybe I feel sad but why? It's not like I love him. Do I? Am I in love with him?

No one else was in the park, except for me. I was all alone sitting by myself. My heart aches for something, someone. Since that incident, I began to cry more, I began to think more, and I would always think about him more. I just don't know why. I'm going to find out what happened to me. I will find out what happened to me that night, the night that I forgot about.

Because, I can't take it much longer; it's hurting me from the inside and tearing me apart.

Why did you promised me you'd come back to me? Who are you to me?

Who are you?

I was on patrol along with Kakashi-sensei at night. I don't know but I think I'm glad that I'm going on a mission right now. Maybe I need to calm myself down and relax my mind for a while. All that thinking is getting on to me. Everything is going so fast that I don't get what is going on right now.

While walking in the forest, Kakashi-sensei asked,

"Say Sakura, I heard something happened to you? What is it?"

I heard him speak but I replied, "I don't want to talk about it, unless you could make time go backwards"

Kakashi-sensei was looking at me, but ignored him. "I'll scout ahead" I spoke and went off leaving Kakashi-sensei behind.

Kakashi walked slowly around the dark forest night. Only the light from the moon lit up the way in the forest. He thought, Sakura is sure a lot of pain right now. Even I could feel her sadness. Moreover, she had never been so harsh to me like that before: Such cold words.

I was far ahead from Kakashi-sensei. Someone was after me.

"Alright you, come out" A shouted. I was prepared with my kunai in my hands. I looked around myself. There's only one person. I could sense it.

"Sa….Sakura…..help me"

A voice spoke and I looked at the origin of the sound. A young boy stood behind me, bathed in a pool of blood. His clothes were all ripped and torn apart, his back was stabbed with kunai, and his eyes were full of sadness. But what is the most interesting part of all is that, the boy was…….., "Naruto??"

I quickly moved over to the young boy.

But as I moved towards it, a thought came to my head, "He's a young boy, Naruto can't be this young."

Then, another figure appeared, it was………a younger version of me.

"Naruto? Stay still. I'm gonna heal you" my younger version spoke and helped Naruto heal his wounds. "Naruto, I'm sorry. I couldn't helped you out when you needed help"

Naruto looked at Sakura, "It's okay. Besides, you're helping me right now."

Just as little Sakura was about to use some medicine, Naruto began to morph into a creature, the nine tailed demon fox is sealed inside him. It was trying to get out from him. "AHHH" Naruto screamed in pain while little Sakura backed away from him. "A…A monster" Little Sakura spoke.

I looked at the two of them.

I couldn't believe at what I was seeing. I don't know whether it was a trick on my mind or is it a past memory. I couldn't remember such incident occurring to me in the past. What is going to happen next?

Naruto stood on all fours. Two tails came out form his back and fox ears came out from his head. He had fangs in his mouth and his facial features changed a bit, looking a bit like a fox himself.

"Na…Naruto, stay away…..stay away from me….monster…..HELP!!!" little Sakura spoke.

The morphed Naruto looked at her with his red fox-like eyes. He ran away from her. Little Sakura was scared with her eyes shocked wide open that she was stunned to the ground and couldn't move a bit. She was trembling with fear seeing a monster in front of her eyes.

I was looking at the same thing too. My eyes were widened seeing this occurring in front of me.

The fox Naruto ran away from Little Sakura and faded away in the distance.

I walked over to little Sakura and looked at her. She sat there, looking at where Naruto ran off to. To me it was shocking to see myself hating Naruto but it was also heart crushing to see Naruto ran away just because the person he likes hates him with all of her heart.

"Hey…..Sakura!!"

I stood under the light of the moon. I watch as Kakashi-sensei walked towards me. "Sakura, are you okay? You look terrible."

Kakashi-sensei heard I said something. I was mumbling words out of my words. But soon he heard what I was saying.

"I…..I saw Naruto….I hated him…..I called him a monster….I hated him"

Kakashi-sensei walked over closer to me. I quickly hugged him in sadness. I wanted to find comfort and cried over his shoulder. Kakashi thought to himself, "Hated huh?" so, she hated him before because he was a monster, what about now? What about her feelings about him now if she hated him before. And I thought she was still in love with Sasuke."

"Kakashi-sensei, I'm never going to able to face him again"

Kakashi sensei saw something above them. He threw a shurikin towards the tree. All of a sudden, a person came down the tree wearing a black cloak.

"Who are you?" Kakashi asked.

The identity of the person was hidden well under the hood of the cloak.

"Well?" Kakashi asked again, while I was still standing near him.

The person spoke, "I will never stop and I will never give up."

The person disappeared in a cloud of smoke and had gone in a blink of an eye.

I couldn't stand properly. My head feels heavy and dizzy. It hurts and I collapsed in front of Kakashi-sensei.

"Oi, Sakura, get a hold of your self. Sakura!!"

I was walking by myself. It was in the middle of the day. I looked further at the front and saw a young boy, sitting all by himself and was avoided by everyone else. He was hated. I saw a younger version of myself. "Poor Naruto" little Sakura spoke. She walked over towards Naruto and was about to greet him when someone called me from behind.

"Sakura, come on, were going to be late if you keep wandering around you know!!"

I looked at where the voice came from, it was a young blond haired girl with a ponytail hair.

"Oh, okay Ino." Little Sakura walked away leaving Naruto all by himself again.

Little Sakura looked behind her and Naruto was looking at her. He gave her a smile, and she gave back a smile to him. Little Sakura walked away towards her friend and further away from little Naruto.

Another scene came up.

Little Sakura heard someone shouting and frustrating. She walked over towards the origin of the sound, and found someone kicking and punching a tree. It was Naruto. He was training very hard to become a great ninja. Naruto was gasping, tired, and full of sweat but he didn't stop and still kept going; he still kicked the tree and punched it as hard as he can.

As he stopped again to take a breath, I could hear he speak,

"I will never stop and I will never give up"

A man with white hair and a headband covering half of his face, Kakashi, knocked on the Hokage's door. A voice spoke, and he entered the room. He stood in front of the desk of the Hokage while Tsunade was busy with her usual reports, papers and more that were on her table. Kakashi thought, lucky me I'm just a teacher.

"Kakashi, what can I do for you?" Tsunade spoke while she was checking a paper in her hand.

Kakashi took a deep breath and spoke, "Well it's about Sakura".

Tsunade immediately put down the paper in her hand and paid attention to Kakashi. "What about her?"

Kakashi replied, "She's being acting very unhealthy. This is very bad for her you know. I've seen myself without sleep, but Sakura is becoming worse. She won't become in tip top shape anymore if this keeps happening. She might die."

Tsunade just nodded.

"Well, what are you going to do about it Kakashi?"

He looked at Tsunade spoke, "She's showing some symptoms of……."

Knock…knock….knock

"Who is it?" Tsunade asked.

"ANBU captain of Squad Fox" the person replied.

"Come in. Kakashi, please wait for a moment", Tsunade spoke.

A person in a white cloak walked in to the room with a fox porcelain mask on his face hiding his identity.

"Hokage, our mission was a complete success. We have information regarding the Akatsuki" the man spoke.

Tsunade replied, "Alright, tell me the details later. I have something important to discuss for a moment."

While the two were speaking, Kakashi had been observing the ANBU captain. Kakashi himself was once an ANBU captain who led his own team of high class ninjas in many missions until he stopped and became a normal ninja. But judging the ANBU captain of Squad Fox, he looks very familiar too him.

"Alright, I'll leave a report later on" The man spoke and walked out from the room.

When he had walked out from the room, Kakashi and Tsunade were left alone again so they could discuss on the major subject. Sakura.

"You had said something about symptoms. Is she sick?" Tsunade.

Kakashi paid attention to Tsunade and nodded, "Yes, do you know how to lock a certain memory inside a person?"

Tsunade raised her brow, "Yeah, but why?"

Kakashi, "This is what I think, there was a memory inside Sakura's mind, particularly about the incident, which was contained in a part of her mind. Each part of the mind is linked with a chakra flow. Maybe, the chakra flow that leads to the memory had been blocked causing her to forget and not remember what had happened to her that night. This is just like Genjutsu."

Hokage sat on her seat behind the desk. She looked at Kakashi and spoke, "And you are going to try and fix the chakra flow again?"

Kakashi nodded.

This might actually work.

Rewinding back time, during Kakashi was speaking about Sakura, a man in white cloak with a fox mask was standing in front of the hokage's room. He was hearing to what Kakashi sensei speaking. When he heard,

"She might die.."

Now, back to the present,

ANBU captain of Squad Fox was running on rooftops under the dark moonlit sky. He was moving towards a certain destination. His white cloak was blown by the wind as he moved fast.

A pink haired girl was sleeping in her bed in her own apartment.

Fox Captain moved towards the window and used a special jutsu enabling him to enter the room.

Silently, he walked slowly towards the sleeping girl and placed his own hand on her head. He channelled his chakra and focused on his arm. After a few moments, he took his hand of and looked at her face. He caressed her face gently and walked away.

"Wait……….don't go" Sakura spoke.

The captain looked back and saw that she was still actually sleeping.

Sakura's dream:

Two figures were standing on top of a roof. They were both under the black sky filled with bright stars and a shining moon.

I stood in front of him. I was glad he was back. He had been away for so long. I was quite surprised seeing him a bit older the last time I saw him. He was shorter than me before but now he's taller than me. Other than that, he was wearing a black and orange jumpsuit instead of his usual orange jumpsuit.

"Hai Sakura. Long time no see." He spoke to me while giving me a warm smile.

I looked at his happy face and gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, long time no see Naruto". He hadn't known what I had been all this time. He was busy training while I was still always thinking about him and Sasuke. I was really happy when I got to see you again.

"Uhm Sakura. I have to tell you something."

He's gonna tell he loves me?

"Sakura I……….."

"Yes Naruto?"

The suspense was tense.

"I'm going to be an ANBU"

Everything stopped for a moment. Time halted and I looked at him with a serious but sad face. "What? An ANBU?"

If he becomes an ANBU, we wouldn't be a team again. We won't be able to go on missions with each other like we used to. We had been through so many things and now you're leaving to become an ANBU?

I didn't speak anything, I had my head down.

"Sakura………I'm sorry"

"You hate me………that's why you're leaving again, but this time forever, aren't you?" I looked at him with tears falling from my eyes.

Naruto stopped speaking for a moment.

"I'm sorry Naruto. Forgive me. I don't think you're a monster. I want to be together like we used to, in a team. Team mates. I'm sorry Naruto, I don't want you to leave"

He walked closer to me.

"Sakura" he came closer.

He gives me a hug,

"I love you Naruto"

"I love you too Sakura, I don't care about the past anymore, only what is now, and now I love you".

Then, I asked, "So, you're not going to become ANBU"

When I spoke the word, he pushed me. He backed away. Leaving me standing alone again. "I'm sorry Sakura, but I can't do that"

I wiped the tears of my face and took out a kunai.

"Then, I'll force you. If I can defeat you, you don't become ANBU. On the other hand, if you win, you can leave"

Naruto stood there with his guard down and a sad face, "But I don't want to fight you Sakura"

Just as I was about to throw a kunai, Naruto disappeared and reappeared behind me. "Memory lock jutsu"

Naruto used his finger and hit a point behind my head. I felt my body become weak. Later on, my vision became blurry. Just before I passed out, I heard he said, "You hold on to that. I'll come back to fetch it. It's our promise" he hand me over his headband that he took off from his head.

Then, I collapse to the roof. He went away……..again from me.

A cold wind blew in the air.

A man was standing inside a room where he was wearing a white cloak and hid face behind a fox porcelain mask. Behind him, a pink haired girl was holding his hand, preventing him to walk away from her. The slowly woke up and opening her eyes looking at the man she held. The man didn't face her, instead he spoke,

"Please let go of me. I must be going"

Sakura still held his hand in her own hand not wanting to let go of him. She stood up slowly from her bed and walked over to him, facing him. The man faced downwards towards the floor, avoiding eye to eye contact with Sakura. She stood in front of him and faced him. She was still holding his hand tightly.

"Please Miss, I have to go now."

Sakura slowly moved her other hand towards the porcelain mask that hides the identity of the man. She caressed the hard cold mask and she moved in closer to the man. She was standing in her pink pyjamas and rested her head on his chest. The man still looked away from her and just as he was about to speak again,

"It's you. Isn't it?"

He heard she spoke to him. This time, he faced her slowly and locked gazes into each others eyes. He looked into her eyes and saw inside of her, she was in a lot of sadness and pain. He couldn't face her again and was about to break free from her grip. Sakura still won't let go of him. She moved her hand to the cold hard mask and took it off from his face.

Sakura POV

I slowly took of the mask on his face and accidentally dropped it towards the floor. I bent down slowly to pick the mask when his hand stopped me form doing so. He picked me up slowly and he faced me. I looked into his blue dazzling eyes and was caught by his gaze. He didn't give me a smile or a sad face but instead he gave me a serious facial expression.

I moved my face closer to him.

He let go of my hand immediately and took my hand off from his own. He bent down picking up his porcelain mask and placed the mask back on his face. He walked away from me slowly.

"You're just going to hide yourself from the world now? You're not going to face the truth?"

He stopped walking and was near inches to the door. He touched the doorknob but he didn't turn it when he heard me spoke. My cheeks were wet again from the tears from my eyes. I didn't face him; I had my back facing him. He didn't do anything; only turning the knob to open the door. When he took a step outside the door, I quickly turned around and dashed at him.

I hugged him.

I had wrapped my arms on his neck and now he was stunned to do anything. I cried and I cried.

"I thought you promised we could be together again"

Both of us were like this for a moment.

He made a move and closed back the door.

He took of the mask and took down his hood letting his hair out.

I let go of him and he faced me.

He moved closer to me and hugged me tightly. His head was on my shoulder while mine was lying on his chest. I was shocked and stopped crying for a moment. At frist I thought I heard a voice, but later on, I heard him say these words,

"I'm sorry I left you, I'm sorry I made you sad, and I love you"

I stood there in his arms, and I replied to him,

"I love you too, Naruto"

And time stopped for a moment, leaving us two alone from the world.

Thus, everything is the way it was supposed to be, us together now and forever.