This one-shot is based on a prompt I saw on tumblr, the contest is over, but I decided to use the prompt 'An enchanted quill produces some unwanted results,' from the Draco/Hermione section
This is the link page/5
Disclaimer: I own nothing; that fabulous honour resides with JKR.
"We've put in so much hard work,"
"Sweat,"
"Blood,"
"Sleepless nights…"
The Weasley twins stared at the seemingly harmless quill in front of them with identical expressions of mock seriousness.
"Well," began George. "Do you want to do the honours or shall I?"
"I'll do it." With a flourish, Fred (the 'better looking half' as he called himself) pulled out his wand and performed a silent charm on the eagle-feathered quill- the very last charm required to make the aforementioned quill change words into the exact opposite of what the writer wished to write.
"When did you say the charm sets in?" questioned Fred as the twins witnessed the quill glow brightly and then subside in brightness.
"A couple of hours after the words have been written. Let's go swap the quills."
With two smirks cut from the same cloth, they exited the deserted classroom.
Ron rummaged around in his bag, looking for his quill. After extracting it from between a textbook and a wad of parchment right at the bottom ('how did it even get there?') he turned towards the fresh sheet of parchment and ink bottle ready and waiting on the table in front of him. It was about time he wrote back to Bill, who was currently residing in the Burrow for his Easter break. Dipping the quill into the ink, he began to write.
Hey Bill!
It's been a while since I got your letter, I haven't responded and I'm sorry, there's just been a lot going on. Hope the goblins are treating you alright.
Bloody hell, things here have been crazy, and I'm not just talking about classwork. Hermione and I got into a huge fight some time earlier- her bloody cat has always had it in for Scabbers, jumping around the place and on top of people, scratching me like there's no tomorrow… Well, eventually that furball did succeed in eating Scabbers... Now we're cool, guess we both realised that we were just being stupid…
Hagrid's hippogriff, Buckbeak, has gotten a death sentence. We're doing everything we can to stop it, lot of research and stuff, but it's not easy, especially with added schoolwork and stuff, but hopefully we'll be able to sort this out.
Malfoy has really done his best to let this happen, though. The complaints, laying his injury on thickly in the beginning of the school year… Hermione really put him in his place, though. With a slap. Yes, you read that right. She slapped him, right across the face, and was about to hex him. Did it this evening, actually. Ahh, that sound of Malfoy gits getting what they deserve… You should've seen his face, Bill.
Did I tell you? Harry got a FIREBOLT. A freaking FIREBOLT. If that's not going to win us that match, I don't know what will. Fastest broom there is, Bill! I've been on it, it is AMAZING.
Anyway, I have to go. Snape's set us this truly awful essay, which I have to get started on. Damn essay…
Bye!
-Ron
Ron Weasley rolled up the parchment and set off towards the Owlery, to deliver the letter using one of the school's owls. Errol had flown back to the Burrow, since he had not written an immediate reply to his older brother. He climbed up the long flight of steps, chose an owl which looked like it was strong enough to withstand the long journey, tied it to its unresisting leg (those school owls really were well-behaved) and watched it fly off into the night sky, oblivious to the fact that halfway through its journey, the contents of his letter would be rearranging themselves into a potentially Howler-worthy reply.
Bill Weasley sat at the breakfast table, yawning, and greeted his parents. Just as he was about to get started on his eggs, a handsome tawny owl soared in, which was recognised by the ponytailed wizard as a Hogwarts owl, dropped a letter next to his plate and flew away. He unrolled the parchment and began reading. His calm expression grew steadily more bewildered as he got to the end, at which point he wordlessly passed it to his parents, who, puzzled, read it.
Hey Bill!
It's been a while since I responded, and I'm sorry, there's just been a lot going on. Hope the goblins are treating you alright.
Bloody hell, things here have been crazy, and I'm not just talking about classwork. My relationship with Hermione has never been better! Not only Hermione, but her cat as well- Crookshanks. Surprisingly, he, unlike most cats, doesn't go after rats- Scabbers hasn't been more alive!
Hagrid's hippogriff, Buckbeak, has gotten a death sentence. We're doing all we can to pass the motion- research and stuff. It's really easy- who wants a bloody hippogriff to live, anyway? Sorting this out will be a piece of cake.
Malfoy has been a big help, letting this happen. Who would've thought that a little bit of acting can be so much help? Hermione really gave him more than what he was asking for- she kissed him! A full proper kiss, right across the lips. Was bloody horrible. That sound as their lips parted… His face, though, his expression…
Did I tell you? Harry got a FIREBOLT. A freaking FIREBOLT. If that's not going to make us lose this upcoming match, I don't know what will. Fastest broom, my foot! I've been on it, and it SUCKS.
Anyway, I have to go. Snape's set us this truly amazing essay, which I have to finish. Love that essay!
Bye!
-Ron
Ron unlocked the boys' bathroom door and stepped out, his ears still ringing from that howler his parents had sent him. What was that all about? He was completely and utterly confused. Getting a hippogriff murdered? Maybe that letter was for Malfoy, not him. He was more than glad that he had managed to lock himself into the bathroom and prevent the entire Hall from hearing the contents of the screaming letter- he had learned a lesson the first time around. His mind buzzing with the confusing contents of the screeching parchment, he didn't look where he was going and nearly crashed headlong into Fred and George.
"What happened, Ronniekins?"
"Just got a Howler from Mum and Dad… Something about murdering a Hippogriff, when I said that I'll be helping it not get killed…"
The troubled redhead missed the look of alarm shared by the twins, who mumbled something about an explanatory letter and ran off. Still in a daze, mulling over that crazy letter, he walked back to the Great Hall, where he saw a livid Hermione perched on a bench, glaring at him.
"Just why," she hissed, "have you told your family that I'm dating Malfoy?"
Well, that it. I hope it was funny enough, I don't think it was… Please review!