A/N: Howdy all! :) Hope you like this I thought up the idea during creative writing. The ending paragraph is my favorite part. Review please, please, please!!
Barney was sitting in the booth watching a girl at the bar and swirling his scotch around in his glass.
"What's up Barney?" Robin slid in across from him.
"See that girl?" He gestured vaguely at the girl at the bar.
"What about her?" Robin yawned as Wendy the Waitress sat down her drink.
"She's been there for half an hour. Just standing. And not a single guy has tried to pick her up!" He watched her indignantly.
"So?" Robin sipped her scotch. "Why don't you?"
"Robin. Please." Barney took a drink of his scotch. "I never try to pick up a girl first. I observe, take note of what did and didn't work, then I jump her."
"Yeah ya did!" Robin grinned offering her hand which Barney slapped. "But still."
"Scherbatzky, I'm a professional. If after half an hour NO guy has tried to pick her up, something's wrong."
Robin rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous Barney. What could be wrong with her?"
Barney shrugged. "But you're gonna find out!"
Robin arched an eyebrow. "I am?"
Barney smirked and nodded. "Yeah you are."
"And how exactly am I suppose to do that?" Robin sighed. "You want me to walk up to her and go 'so what the hell's wrong with you'? Cause that's just ridiculous."
"Scherbatzky, focus." He moved his fingers from his eyes to hers and back. Robin sighed. "Now here's what your gonna do…" He leaned across the table and whispered in her ear.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Robin walked up to the bar next to the girl. "Carl could I get four shots please?" He nodded and started to pour. She turned around and leaned against the bar. "God I get so sick of guys hitting me, ya know?" She addressed the question to the girl next to her.
She smiled slightly. "I know what you mean." She sipped her scotch. "My name's Amy, what's yours?"
"Robin," Robin shook Amy's hand. Barney has to be wrong this girl seemed totally normal. "So I noticed no guys have come up to you yet," Robin grinned. "How'd you manage that?"
"Trade secret." Amy laughed. "Course you're aversion thing is better then mine." She grinned at Robin.
"Huh?" Robin blinked sitting the shot she was about to offer back on the bar.
"Oh you know, being here with your boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" Robin blinked and Amy gestured to Barney with her glass. "What you mean Barney? Me and Barney? No. No, no, no, no, no. No. No… No." Robin shook her head and threw back one of the shots. "No."
"Wow," Amy laughed. "That's a pretty severe reaction."
Robin giggled helplessly. "Yeah well you know… Ha ha… Barney and me… Ha… Hm…" She threw back the next shot.
Amy chuckled. "Oh so you've thought about it…"
Robin stared at the next shot. "We might have… You know… Once… Maybe…"
Amy suppressed a grin. "You might have maybe and sex with him once?"
"Wow is it getting hot in here or is it just me?" Robin giggled some more.
Amy laughed as Robin threw back the third shot. "So I take it you have in fact thought about it?"
Robin was silent for a long time staring at the polished wood of the bar while Amy sipped her drink. After a minute of her brain not functioning at all she looked over at the booth where Barney sat with Marshall (when did he walk in?). They were laughing about something and it was one of Barney's genuine laughs too; one of the ones he only did when he was honestly happy about something, not the one he did when he made a dirty joke or a lewd comment- a real Barney laugh. It made his eyes crinkle in an unbelievably cute way and-
Wait, wait what? Did you just you cute as a adjective to describe Barney Stinson?
"I… Might have thought about it…" Robin admitted glancing at Amy. "Once or twice."
Amy nodded. "And?"
Robin shrugged picking up the last shot. "And……" She threw back the shot. "This conversation didn't go as planned."
Amy laughed.
Robin smiled. "Alright, alright… He's not a relationship guy. He's a sex guy and if I were ever to get in any sort of… Arrangement… With him there's no way to know for sure he wouldn't cheat on me. So it's safer to stick with my 16 nos…"
"Ten."
"What?"
"You only said no ten times." Amy grinned.
Robin blinked. "Oh…"
Amy chuckled lightly sipped her scotch. "So…"
"So…"
"What cha gonna do now?"
Robin chewed on her lip. She had two options- 1) Tell Barney there was in fact nothing wrong with this girl, or 2) Lie and say there was something horribly wrong that would keep her from trying to pick her up.
"Now…" Robin began. "I go over and tell him…" She glanced at Barney who was grinning at Ted (seriously how were they getting in without her noticing?). He caught her eye and still grinning arched and eyebrow. "That you're mentally deranged and think that you're a reincarnated cat."
Amy laughed and gave her a thumbs up. "Sounds like a plan."
Robin grinned at her and headed back over the booth sliding in next to Barney… And if she accidentally slid to close to him and if she was somehow pressed right against his side well that's not her fault is it?
"So what's wrong with her Scherbatzky?" Barney grinned lazily tossing her arm over the back of the booth around her shoulders.
"She thinks she's a cat." Robin said completely dead pan stealing Ted's beer.
Barney sighed. "I'd pet that pussy… Cat… Oh yeah." He held his hand up and Marshall high fived him laughing.
Robin snorted. How very typical Barney… She looked up at him. And if she got a little light headed when his eyes met hers, and if she felt herself blush, and if she leaned against him… Well then that was because of the four shots she had just did... Right?
