AN: Hi, people! I haven't posted in so long, but here's my latest offering.
This is in the same series as Fire and Gold, but this is much longer and
more comlicated than Fire and Gold, so hopefully all of you will enjoy
this. FEEDBACK is the most wonderful thing in the entire world! My e-mail
is graceofmercury@yahoo.com and feedback is extremely appreciated and
gratifying and I will respond to all e-mails! Thank you!
This story starts when the Senshi first started to fight against the generals.
"Minako, quieter! You might wake up your parents! And then how would we explain this to them?" Artemis hissed at Minako as he made a general gesture at him, a talking white cat, and Minako, currently decked out in her scout uniform.
"Haven't you forgotten? Dad's out at the bars and Mom- Mom is *entertaining* herself with her new *male friend*. And besides, even if they did notice that I came in late, they wouldn't care!" Minako said bitterly. Minako looked down, the glint of tears in her eyes, and then she sighed and quietly detransformed into her normal blouse and skirt.
Artemis looked away- he always got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about Minako's excuses for parents; both of them couldn't care less if their daughter dropped off of the face of the earth, but when Artemis saw Minako demean herself because of their negligence- well, both of Minako's parents were very lucky
that Artemis didn't have any other weapons than a set of mean claws.
But none of that would help Minako- so Artemis tried to change the subject.
"Minako, you really need to focus more. Your fighting was reasonably good at first, but it deteriorated towards the end." Artemis rebuked a frayed and exhausted Mina.
"Gee, Artemis, maybe it could have something to do with the fact that it's 3:00 o'clock in the morning, and we fought with those generals for an hour. Naw, I think that just didn't fight well because I didn't feel like it." Exhaustion gave a bitter and sarcastic edge to Mina's voice which was normally never there as she flopped down onto her bed. Artemis looked up, a bit stung and surprised and the normally cheerful Mina's cynical and sarcastic side. He opened his mouth, but even before he got a word out, Mina rolled over and said quietly, contritely, "I'm sorry, Artemis, I'll try harder next time." Artemis
nodded, and a comfortable silence hung while Minako lay on her bed, not yet attempting to change into her pyjamas while Artemis looked on.
"You know, I don't know why, but the generals seem really familiar to me. Like I knew them before, or something. Especially the silver haired one, um, Kunzite? I don't know why." Minako mused out loud. Artemis's eyes widened, and it seemed for a moment that he was
about to speak, but he remained silent.
"Um, Artemis?" Minako's voice was strangely hesitant. "Do you think that we'll be able to defeat the generals and Beryl?"
"I have every confidence in you and the other scouts, Mina." Artemis said sincerely.
"Oh, yeah, I know, but it's just that, that-" Mina gestured helplessly. "Yes?" Artemis prompted.
"I don't know whether I could actually kill a person." Mina's confession was spilled out in a rush of breath, and after taking a short breath, another flood of words came out, almost tripping over each other in haste.
"It's just that, that I, myself, a fourteen year old girl, will have to kill someone. Actually, physically try to take someone's life. And this someone is a person, a real, living, human being. Someone with a name. With dreams. With goals. A person with a future, and I have to destroy that. Can I do that? Am I really capable of actually killing someone? Taking away someone's life with my own hands? Do I really have to right to judge whether someone deserves to live or die? I don't think I can handle that much power. To know that someone is dead, and that I caused it. People think that killing is a video game, that it'll be a fun adventure, that there's glory in it. What glory is there in looking at a dead corpse and knowing that you, you were the cause of it?"
Minako's voice had started out as rather loud and wild and edged with hysteria, but had gotten lower and lower until her voice died out in a shattered, hoarse whisper. Minako hunched over, her golden, glowing hair spilling over her, almost hiding her from view. Artemis could tell that she was on the knife edge of tears.
Artemis looked at Minako's huddled, almost trembling form, for a long, long time, and then sighed sadly, sorrowfully. He got up and padded until he was in front of Minako, and waited patiently until she raised her head a few degrees until all that showed were her sorrowful blue eyes.
"Minako," Artemis's voice was gentle, but for the underlying intense sorrow and pain. "In order to help you with everything that's been going on, I'm going to give you back your memories of the Silver Millenium. Alright?" For a few moments, Minako didn't respond,
then, Artemis saw her give the faintest of nods. Artemis reached forward, and gently touched his paw to her forehead. The sign of Venus flared up with a brilliant golden light at contact, and suddenly, abruptly, violently, Minako was flooded with memories.
//Being pushed on a swing, bathed in golden sunlight, throwing her head back so her hair became a golden glowing halo all around her. Someone was pushing Minako on the swing, and Mina felt utter, idyllic contentment. Throwing her head back to laugh at the person pushing her, she saw- she saw Kunzite laughing and pushing the giggling Venus on her swing...//
Minako almost jerked out of her memories, she was so shocked that Kunzite had been a trusted and dear friend. However, the pull of the memories was too strong, and she slipped back in.
//Sheer and utter anger; how could the people of the moon be so blind? So narrow minded? Minako stormed silently. However, to the world outside, Minako seemed to be absolutely normal; the same bubbly, cheerful girl without a care in the world. Only the inner senshi, Serenity and Artemis could ever discern when Minako was truly angry,
because all the senshi had been taught that visible anger could be used as a weakness and turned against the senshi during tense diplomatic (and otherwise) situations. However, of all the senshi, Minako was truly the only one that followed that teaching,
since Rei and Lita and even Ami all showed extreme anger in some discernable way.
Therefore, Minako was surprised when she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder. She turned, startled to see Kunzite there. Kunzite had a gentle, understanding expression on his face, but this only served to infuriate Minako further. However, true to her resolve never to let visible anger show, she simply smiled at Kunzite in greeting.
"Hello. How are you today?" To Minako's own ears, she sounded saccharinely sweet and insincere, but again, nobody other than the senshi, Serenity and Artemis ever seemed to be able to tell the difference. Consequently, Minako was truly startled when Kunzite gave a knowing smile and said,
"Very well, my lady Anger. Might I ask what is infuriating her worshipfulness this fine morning?" Minako stared at Kunzite in shock. Although over the past few months of diplomatic relationships between the Earth and the Moon, Minako had managed to get to know Kunzite better, his offbeat, dry sense of humor always caught her off-guard. The majority of people who knew Kunzite didn't even know he had a sense of humor, because Kunzite always pulled his jokes with a perfectly set face, delivered formally and precisely down to the last point of protocol.
Even now, Kunzite delivered his offbeat joke with a formal bow, precisely executed, with a perfectly neutral and impassive expression on his face; a perfect, unreadable politician and general. As he straightened up, however, a decided twinkle was evident in his eyes,
and suddenly, Minako dissolved into fits of laughter at the elaborate facade, feeling her anger lessen, slightly.
Kunzite looked at her keenly, his sharp gaze seeming to penetrate her.
"Minako, really, what's wrong? Why were you so angry before?" Minako sighed, and then said, trying to digress from the subject,
"Was it so obvious to you?"
"Your anger? No, not really, it's just that your smile was a bit too clenched, your posture was a bit too defiant, and your eyes didn't quite disguise everything you were feeling. Wouldn't be obvious to most people, but," here Kunzite shrugged, "I'm just good at reading you. Good enough to know that you're trying to distract me from the original question, which I put before you again. Why were you so angry?"
Minako sighed once more, putting her hand up the massage the nape of her neck, a habit whenever she was frustrated or exasperated.
"Ah. It concerns me, doesn't it? More specifically, the entourage from earth. Right?"
Minako stared at him, slightly awed and faintly amused. "Am I really that obvious to you? I think that you read me like a book."
Kunzite nonchalantly shrugged it off again. "Just a particular skill of mine." he teased. However, Kunzite now fixed her with a purposeful stare, and finally Minako explained what it was all about.
"I'm just so angry at the Lunar council members! They're so narrow-minded! Both you and I know that a treaty between Earth and the Moon could benefit both sides immensely, but NNOOO, they just have to argue and dissimulate about the trustworthiness- or rather lack thereof-
of Earth's intentions and diplomats." Minako ranted.
Kunzite's eyes were warm and sympathetic, but he seemed to hesitate before he spoke. "Mina, the Lunar council is trying to be sure of Earth's intentions before they commit. They are responsible for the safety and wellbeing of all those who live on the moon, and that is
not a responsibility to be taken lightly. There might be some who truly are prejudiced against the Earth for the sake of prejudice, but you shouldn't let yourself be bogged down by their narrow minds." Kunzite eyed her critically. "To tell the truth, I think that you just need to relax."
Minako's jaw dropped. "YOU'RE telling ME to relax? Who are you? What have you done with the real Kunzite?!?" cried Minako, genuinely concerned about Kunzite's sudden change in personality.
If Minako hadn't known Kunzite better, she would have sworn that a corner of Kunzite's mouth quirked upward in the hint of a smile. "Come on. I know where we can both go to escape for a while."
With that, Kunzite gently pulled Minako's arm towards the teleport station, and in a flash they teleported down to earth.
**********************************************************************
Minako stepped lightly, eyes wide at the beauty spread before her. A wide, open meadow full of golden flowers stretched for as far as she could see. Fields upon fields of gently waving golden flowers were contrasted by the brilliantly blue sky. Everything was fresh and wild and clean and new.
Minako was rendered speechless by the sheer beauty before her. She sat down, cross legged, closed her eyes and took a deep breath, relishing the free, fresh scent of flowers all around her.
"Like it?" Kunzite sat down beside her, looking out over the meadow. Although he did not smile, (privately Minako wondered if Kunzite ever had smiled in his entire life) the stern lines around his face had smoothed away, and his face seemed to have softened somewhat. "I find that whenever I'm tired, or worried, I always find peace when I come
here."
Minako found her voice. "Kunzite, I have seen the greatest architectural wonders of the moon, the great golden arches inscribed with silver filigree, set with gemstones of the finest water. I have lived in the palace of Venus, where there are strange and wonderful rooms, filled with elaborate and elegant treasures unparalleled anywhere in the universe."
Minako looked out over the never-ending fields. "But nowhere have I ever seen anything that could compare with the beauty I see now."
Kunzite looked at her with an unreadable expression, his eyes strangely intense. "I could say exactly the same thing."
Minako felt herself blushing and glanced away; she deflected the tension by pointing and laughing, "Oh, look! A butterfly!" Indeed, a silver butterfly fluttered down towards the two of them, only to land on Kunzite's nose.
Kunzite gravely crossed his eyes to look at the insect resting on his nose. Minako dissolved into a fit of giggles at the mock-somber expression on his face. Minako looked at his handsome profile, and the silver butterfly that rested gently on his nose. As her giggles ran out though, the corner of Kunzite's mouth quirked up, and he gently
transferred the butterfly to his hand. The butterfly flapped its wings gently, and Minako's fit of giggles faded into quiet as she looked at Kunzite, who looked at the delicate silver butterfly. Just for one moment, everything was perfect. Minako knew that no matter what the future would bring, that one moment would remain forever treasured within her memory.
*If only things could always be like this.* She thought dreamily. The butterfly flapped once more, then fluttered off of Kunzite's hand, flying high into the sky.
Kunzite sighed, then leaned back on the palms of his hand.
*SPLAT!* Unexpectedly, the palm of his right hand pressed down on a mudhole, and the entire side of his body was spattered with mud.
With that, Minako dissolved into another hopeless fit of giggles, which was only made worse when Kunzite turned, quite calmly to her, politely saying, "Am I so honored to provide my lady amusement?" Minako laughed loudly, managing to stutter, "Y-y-yes!"
Kunzite bowed, which was an interesting feat considering he was sitting down with half of his previously immaculate uniform covered in mud. He began to methodically wipe mud off of his uniform when Minako, seized by inspiration, stealthily scooped up some mud and lobbed it straight at Kunzite's face. The mudball exploded, coating Kunzite entirely in mud.
Kunzite turned slowly to the now helpless with laughter Minako, and so she missed his next few words. "Beware my vengeance, lady."
Minako was still on the ground, helpless with laughter, when with a shriek she darted up and ran away from Kunzite, who had lobbed a mudball at her, missing by mere millimeters.
Kunzite chased her around the field, loaded with mud in both hands, despite the fact that both their shoes now had an inch of mud on the bottom. Finally, when Minako risked a quick look back, Kunzite tackled her with his mud-drenched hands and Minako found herself facing
the sky, her entire back and hair coated with mud.
"Ah Ha! Now I've caught you, my villainess!" Kunzite's smiling face was above her, since he had her pinned down by her shoulders in the mud. Minako's laughter faded, and she gazed up at Kunzite's face, as the same intense look she had seen earlier resurfaced in Kunzite's
silver eyes. And as she looked up into his face, she felt as if the two of them were caught in Paradise, in Eden, and that time itself had slowed down and turned to syrup to flow slowly around them.
"Minako- I think I'm falling in love with you." Kunzite's voice, usually so cultured and smooth, was now rough and hoarse with a million different emotions.
"Kunzite- I think I love you already." Minako whispered, still gazing up into his eyes.
And as Minako looked up into Kunzite's mud-covered face with his bedraggled and drenched silver mane, a brilliant, true smile broke out on his face. And Minako thought she had never seen anything more beautiful than that smile, than that face, than that man, as he drew her in for a kiss.//
Minako came out of her trance with a gasp. Her smile lit up the entire bedroom. She looked like a girl that had had all her dreams come true. "I was loved!" Minako whispered jubilantly. "There was someone who loved me! I had a soulmate! I was well and truly loved!" Minako laughed out loud, and the sound was like golden bells ringing out. Minako jumped up and spun around, hugging herself, her golden hair flying out all around her.
Artemis looked at this golden child, this golden child of happiness and love, that for so long had been denied the love that she craved. Her parents couldn't care less about this precious child, and Artemis still didn't understand why. Minako was neglected, emotionally abused, and for so long Minako had covered up all her hurt, all her needs with the perpetually sunny attitude and never-failing smile. Only Artemis saw the fits of self- pity and self doubt. Not even the other
senshi, not even Serena ever saw what Artemis did. But this, this was Minako at her truest form; Minako was the senshi of love, and now that Minako knew that she had been truly loved in the Silver Millenium, she positively glowed.
And now, now that Minako had finally found her happiness, Artemis had to shatter it.
When Minako finally calmed down, Artemis once again padded over and touched his paw to the sigil on her forehead; once again, the sigil flared with golden light, and Minako was transported back.
//If Kunzite was normally considered impassive, then right now he looked like he had been carved from granite. Minako didn't quite understand how he could manage this, considering that she felt like
her entire world was disintegrating into dust, and her heart gave a sickening thud as she thought about what had happened recently. Beryl had led a revolt and incited fury against the Lunarians, and Endymion and his generals were desparately needed back on earth. The possibility of war between the Moon and Earth was looming large on the horizon, and it seemed very likely that there would be war despite the best efforts of Serenity, the Senshi, Endymion, and the generals.
But looking at Kunzite's profile, Minako couldn't tell if the general was even breathing, much less concerned for his homeworld or- or even her, the girl he professed to love. Could it be that he *didn't* really care that much about her? She thought dismally. All the other generals and senshi had had emotional, moving farewells, and here she was, with a man who looked as if he was wearing a mask of stone.
And then Kunzite turned his incredible, rain-grey eyes to Minako, and she nearly gasped from the sheer intensity of the emotion from his eyes. There was love there, certainly, but there was also an emotion that she thought that Kunzite never would feel, not in a million years.
Fear- raw and bitter, Minako realized with a jolt that Kunzite *was* afraid. But he was afraid for her.
Kunzite crossed the distance between them in two long, quick steps, never breaking eye contact.
He gripped Minako's arm so hard that he cut off all feeling, but Minako was too mesmerized with the swirling emotions in his eyes that she didn't even notice.
"Promise me-" Kunzite demanded, without preamble. "Promise me that in the war that will come, you won't let yourself get killed. Promise me you won't die!" Minako's throat closed over with emotion, and finally she managed to squeeze out, "Not unless you do first." It came out in
a raw whisper.
"Minako-" Kunzite traced her cheekbone with his hand. "I love you- do you understand that? Never forget that I love you."
Minako framed Kunzite's face with both her hands. "And you never forget that I love you too. Despite all that has passed, despite all that will ever come, I will always love you." Minako whispered- but strangely enough, Minako felt slightly melancholy. She smiled bitterly- wasn't that the trademark of hopeless love, though? Neverending sorrow.
And then Kunzite bent down to kiss her, and all other thoughts faded from her mind.//
The memories shifted- now the present Minako saw a battlefield, littered with bodies already, and she saw her Silver Millenium self fighting desparately through a force of enemies, finally overcoming them. She saw herself race to the Moon palace's entrance grounds, the
devastated Moon Palace looming in the background.
//Minako panted as she ran to the entrance grounds as fast as she could; she already was drained and exhausted, but the knowledge that her princess, her liege *needed* her propelled Minako on through all enemies, over the corpses that littered her path.
And then Minako stopped dead, all of the blood draining from her face. She would have staggered back, the scene in front of her hit her like a punch to the stomach, but her training kicked in and Minako remained motionless, instead of collapsing on the ground.
Kunzite and his four generals were heading toward the Moon Palace, with an army of youma at their back. And the expressions of the four generals promised slaughter for the Lunarians. And the senshi.
Minako couldn't believe her eyes. Desperate, she sought out her soul-bond, her link with Kunzite. Although it was newly formed, she could still sense his emotions and such-
And what she found there was anger. Kunzite was angry and he was out for blood.
Minako stood rooted to the ground in disbelief. The pain started in her heart, and then spread like wildfire, until when it hit her brain she could only come up with one word.
Betrayal.
Minako bit back a cry of incredible anguish. Heartbreak? Ha! What a joke. Right now it felt like her heart had been smashed into a million tiny pieces. Minako would have given anything to end this agony,
this pain; numbness, coldness, anything other than this gut-wrenching feeling which took her breath away, drained her blood, left her feeling like her reality was dissolving beneath her feet, and everything she held dear was just so much water that trickled through her fingers.
Minako closed her eyes and allowed herself one brief respite; and then she gathered up her anguish, her agony, her excruciating pain, and pushed it to the back of her mind.
But when she opened her eyes again, there was nothing there. The brilliant blue eyes were empty, dull. Her soul had been broken, shattered, scattered to the wind. There was nothing left for Minako to give. Minako was a broken woman. Only her duty and loyalty to her liege even kept Minako on her feet.
Minako looked over at the army and forced herself to look at the generals leading the army, coolly assesing the force of the army and the defense that she and the other senshi would be able to put up. Four senshi. Against an army of perhaps, five thousand. Not to mention four generals-no, ex- generals.
The odds didn't look to good.
Distantly, Minako noted the way that Zoicite clung to Kunzite, and a ghost of a bitter smile touched her lips for a second. So, it seemed that Kunzite had changed his taste from women to men. And- no. Minako forced those thoughts away; they threatened to pull her down into sharp despair, and she couldn't afford it right now.
As it was, Minako grimly joined the other senshi who had also entered the palace grounds. All of the other senshi had a curiously soul-less look about them too- haunted, by the pain of the betrayal of their loves. Only Rei- Rei had a curious look about her, as if she didn't quite believe what she saw with her own eyes, and currently Rei was talking heatedly with Lita, although Minako couldn't quite make out what was being said-
And then the four generals charged the gate- and Minako knew then it was the end that they were all going to die- when a shield of blue magic sprung up around the four generals and the four senshi. It effectively cut off the eight fighters from the rest of the army of youma, since the generals had charged so far ahead that there was quite a gap between the generals and the army. Minako risked a glance over at Ami, recognizing the shield as Ami's distinct blue magic, and
realized that Ami was draining her life force to set up the shield, and Minako felt a pang for the blue-haired senshi, even though she was resigned that they were all going to die anyway-
And then there was no more time for thought, no more time for heartbreak, no more time for anything but the whirling swords that glittered in the fading blood-light. Each general paired off with his ex-love, and Minako found herself facing Kunzite's feral grin.
"Die, senshi!" Kunzite snarled, his face livid with hatred, blood-lust, and *enjoyment* of the slaughter- Minako shuddered inwardly, and then suddenly, from nowhere, anger erupted inside of her, filling her, usurping the place where her soul had formerly been. Red-hot, roiling inside of her, a red haze began to fog up Minako's vision.
"Not- Unless- You- Do- First!" Minako snarled. In some remote part of her mind, she noted the delicious irony of the earlier promise she had made Kunzite; she wouldn't die unless he died first, and now she was able to make good on that promise.
Minako began to fight with a ferocious brutality that was far removed from her normally elegant, efficient style of fighting. All that Minako cared about now was killing this bastard, this blatant mockery of her love-
And then, with final lunge, Minako thrust through Kunzite's heart. Minako stood over Kunzite, triumphant. Sneering to the very last, Kunzite, with a flick of a wrist, outward and then up, threw a small winking dagger straight toward Minako's heart.
Minako stared uncomprehendingly at the patch of red that slowly spread across her chest- this time, she couldn't stop her legs from giving out as weakness overcame her. She fell slowly to the ground, her eyes wide, but oddly empty. There was nothing left. Everything that
had been dear, that had been true, that had been real to Minako, had been taken away in that instant that she had seen Kunzite in front of that youma army.
"I hate you, Kunzite..." Minako whispered with her dying breath. But even those words were curiously hollow; there was no ring of truth to them, for Minako had nothing left to give, nothing real or true to left of herself. And with that name on her lips, Minako, Senshi of Venus, Guard of Princess Serenity, died on a field littered with corpses, beneath the shadow of the devastated Moon Palace.
And so there was nobody to notice the small stone that was attached to a chain from Kunzite's corpse. The stone began to glow, and when Minako took her last breath and closed her eyes, the stone flared up with a brilliant light that was painful to see.//
The Minako of the present began to lose her grip on the memories, but before she slipped entirely out, she saw one last thing-
//The stone flared up with a brilliant light that was painful to see. When the initial burst of light faded, something like a ghost of a man stood looking down at Venus' body, and his face was contorted with sorrow-//
And with that, the memories ended abruptly, as if sheared off with scissors.
Minako was so still that one could have mistaken her for a statue but for the storm of emotions in her blue eyes-a turmoil of confusion, desparation, love, anger, hurt, hate, but above all-
sorrow- raged on through the petite girl. Her skin was dead white, and clammy; if one had touched her, it would have been surprising how cold the girl had become. It was as if her skin had turned to ice.
And then, suddenly, so suddenly that Artemis was taken aback- Minako bolted up and out- she literally tore out of her room, nearly bowling over the dazed white cat, who having recovered his senses, shouted out after Minako- "Wait! Wait!"
But Minako ran on, heedless, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was intent on one purpose only- to get away, to leave all of her emotions behind, to run until she had escaped the millenia-old heartbreak, to get away from all the sorrow of the past which pursued her with cold fingers into the present.
And so she ran, and kept on running, a streak of golden despair that ripped past everything and anything in her path.
Minako didn't even realize that she had run out onto the streets of Tokyo, through all of the lonely, deserted streets, past the empty, dark houses, her footfalls echoing down the shadowy alleyways.
Finally- panting for breath, gasping painfully- Minako came upon the park that lay in the middle of Tokyo. She collapsed onto a bench, and huddled there as small as possible. And the tears continued to leak out-
To know that she had believed that she had been loved- she had though that she had been truly, really, loved, and that she had loved that person in return-
To know that she herself had loved that person so deeply that she had felt as if there was room for nothing else-
And then to know that all of it was *lie*-
Minako's shoulders shook with sobs.
For a long, long time, the desolate girl huddled there, alone in the world with only her heartbreak and her sorrow.
And when there was finally nothing left-
when the well had finally run dry-
Minako began to feel an emotion that perhaps, no person that so truly personified love should ever feel-
She had been duped. She had been a fool. True love was nothing but a farce, a sham, a trick for the gullible. And she had been gullible. Had she ever been gullible! That she should willingly give her heart to a man and then have it broken in front of her eyes-
The kindest word that Minako could think of for herself was fool. An utter, complete fool.
Well, never again. Never in eternity- Minako vowed to herself. I will *never* be broken that way again! She fiercely promised herself.
In that lonely, deserted park, lit by the harsh glare of lamps while the gloom gathered all around, the girl known as Venus denounced love.
And at that moment, something, some spark, deep within Minako, went out. Some vital energy that was the essence of Minako withered up and blew away as ashes.
She closed her eyes once; and when she opened them-
when she opened them, she had built walls around herself from the shards of her battered, broken heart-
and where once her world had been grounded in the foundation of pure and innocent faith in the power of love-
where once the base of her world had been all that was light and good and pure and free-
Now Minako built her fragile world on one premise:
Love was a lie.
TBC...
This story starts when the Senshi first started to fight against the generals.
"Minako, quieter! You might wake up your parents! And then how would we explain this to them?" Artemis hissed at Minako as he made a general gesture at him, a talking white cat, and Minako, currently decked out in her scout uniform.
"Haven't you forgotten? Dad's out at the bars and Mom- Mom is *entertaining* herself with her new *male friend*. And besides, even if they did notice that I came in late, they wouldn't care!" Minako said bitterly. Minako looked down, the glint of tears in her eyes, and then she sighed and quietly detransformed into her normal blouse and skirt.
Artemis looked away- he always got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about Minako's excuses for parents; both of them couldn't care less if their daughter dropped off of the face of the earth, but when Artemis saw Minako demean herself because of their negligence- well, both of Minako's parents were very lucky
that Artemis didn't have any other weapons than a set of mean claws.
But none of that would help Minako- so Artemis tried to change the subject.
"Minako, you really need to focus more. Your fighting was reasonably good at first, but it deteriorated towards the end." Artemis rebuked a frayed and exhausted Mina.
"Gee, Artemis, maybe it could have something to do with the fact that it's 3:00 o'clock in the morning, and we fought with those generals for an hour. Naw, I think that just didn't fight well because I didn't feel like it." Exhaustion gave a bitter and sarcastic edge to Mina's voice which was normally never there as she flopped down onto her bed. Artemis looked up, a bit stung and surprised and the normally cheerful Mina's cynical and sarcastic side. He opened his mouth, but even before he got a word out, Mina rolled over and said quietly, contritely, "I'm sorry, Artemis, I'll try harder next time." Artemis
nodded, and a comfortable silence hung while Minako lay on her bed, not yet attempting to change into her pyjamas while Artemis looked on.
"You know, I don't know why, but the generals seem really familiar to me. Like I knew them before, or something. Especially the silver haired one, um, Kunzite? I don't know why." Minako mused out loud. Artemis's eyes widened, and it seemed for a moment that he was
about to speak, but he remained silent.
"Um, Artemis?" Minako's voice was strangely hesitant. "Do you think that we'll be able to defeat the generals and Beryl?"
"I have every confidence in you and the other scouts, Mina." Artemis said sincerely.
"Oh, yeah, I know, but it's just that, that-" Mina gestured helplessly. "Yes?" Artemis prompted.
"I don't know whether I could actually kill a person." Mina's confession was spilled out in a rush of breath, and after taking a short breath, another flood of words came out, almost tripping over each other in haste.
"It's just that, that I, myself, a fourteen year old girl, will have to kill someone. Actually, physically try to take someone's life. And this someone is a person, a real, living, human being. Someone with a name. With dreams. With goals. A person with a future, and I have to destroy that. Can I do that? Am I really capable of actually killing someone? Taking away someone's life with my own hands? Do I really have to right to judge whether someone deserves to live or die? I don't think I can handle that much power. To know that someone is dead, and that I caused it. People think that killing is a video game, that it'll be a fun adventure, that there's glory in it. What glory is there in looking at a dead corpse and knowing that you, you were the cause of it?"
Minako's voice had started out as rather loud and wild and edged with hysteria, but had gotten lower and lower until her voice died out in a shattered, hoarse whisper. Minako hunched over, her golden, glowing hair spilling over her, almost hiding her from view. Artemis could tell that she was on the knife edge of tears.
Artemis looked at Minako's huddled, almost trembling form, for a long, long time, and then sighed sadly, sorrowfully. He got up and padded until he was in front of Minako, and waited patiently until she raised her head a few degrees until all that showed were her sorrowful blue eyes.
"Minako," Artemis's voice was gentle, but for the underlying intense sorrow and pain. "In order to help you with everything that's been going on, I'm going to give you back your memories of the Silver Millenium. Alright?" For a few moments, Minako didn't respond,
then, Artemis saw her give the faintest of nods. Artemis reached forward, and gently touched his paw to her forehead. The sign of Venus flared up with a brilliant golden light at contact, and suddenly, abruptly, violently, Minako was flooded with memories.
//Being pushed on a swing, bathed in golden sunlight, throwing her head back so her hair became a golden glowing halo all around her. Someone was pushing Minako on the swing, and Mina felt utter, idyllic contentment. Throwing her head back to laugh at the person pushing her, she saw- she saw Kunzite laughing and pushing the giggling Venus on her swing...//
Minako almost jerked out of her memories, she was so shocked that Kunzite had been a trusted and dear friend. However, the pull of the memories was too strong, and she slipped back in.
//Sheer and utter anger; how could the people of the moon be so blind? So narrow minded? Minako stormed silently. However, to the world outside, Minako seemed to be absolutely normal; the same bubbly, cheerful girl without a care in the world. Only the inner senshi, Serenity and Artemis could ever discern when Minako was truly angry,
because all the senshi had been taught that visible anger could be used as a weakness and turned against the senshi during tense diplomatic (and otherwise) situations. However, of all the senshi, Minako was truly the only one that followed that teaching,
since Rei and Lita and even Ami all showed extreme anger in some discernable way.
Therefore, Minako was surprised when she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder. She turned, startled to see Kunzite there. Kunzite had a gentle, understanding expression on his face, but this only served to infuriate Minako further. However, true to her resolve never to let visible anger show, she simply smiled at Kunzite in greeting.
"Hello. How are you today?" To Minako's own ears, she sounded saccharinely sweet and insincere, but again, nobody other than the senshi, Serenity and Artemis ever seemed to be able to tell the difference. Consequently, Minako was truly startled when Kunzite gave a knowing smile and said,
"Very well, my lady Anger. Might I ask what is infuriating her worshipfulness this fine morning?" Minako stared at Kunzite in shock. Although over the past few months of diplomatic relationships between the Earth and the Moon, Minako had managed to get to know Kunzite better, his offbeat, dry sense of humor always caught her off-guard. The majority of people who knew Kunzite didn't even know he had a sense of humor, because Kunzite always pulled his jokes with a perfectly set face, delivered formally and precisely down to the last point of protocol.
Even now, Kunzite delivered his offbeat joke with a formal bow, precisely executed, with a perfectly neutral and impassive expression on his face; a perfect, unreadable politician and general. As he straightened up, however, a decided twinkle was evident in his eyes,
and suddenly, Minako dissolved into fits of laughter at the elaborate facade, feeling her anger lessen, slightly.
Kunzite looked at her keenly, his sharp gaze seeming to penetrate her.
"Minako, really, what's wrong? Why were you so angry before?" Minako sighed, and then said, trying to digress from the subject,
"Was it so obvious to you?"
"Your anger? No, not really, it's just that your smile was a bit too clenched, your posture was a bit too defiant, and your eyes didn't quite disguise everything you were feeling. Wouldn't be obvious to most people, but," here Kunzite shrugged, "I'm just good at reading you. Good enough to know that you're trying to distract me from the original question, which I put before you again. Why were you so angry?"
Minako sighed once more, putting her hand up the massage the nape of her neck, a habit whenever she was frustrated or exasperated.
"Ah. It concerns me, doesn't it? More specifically, the entourage from earth. Right?"
Minako stared at him, slightly awed and faintly amused. "Am I really that obvious to you? I think that you read me like a book."
Kunzite nonchalantly shrugged it off again. "Just a particular skill of mine." he teased. However, Kunzite now fixed her with a purposeful stare, and finally Minako explained what it was all about.
"I'm just so angry at the Lunar council members! They're so narrow-minded! Both you and I know that a treaty between Earth and the Moon could benefit both sides immensely, but NNOOO, they just have to argue and dissimulate about the trustworthiness- or rather lack thereof-
of Earth's intentions and diplomats." Minako ranted.
Kunzite's eyes were warm and sympathetic, but he seemed to hesitate before he spoke. "Mina, the Lunar council is trying to be sure of Earth's intentions before they commit. They are responsible for the safety and wellbeing of all those who live on the moon, and that is
not a responsibility to be taken lightly. There might be some who truly are prejudiced against the Earth for the sake of prejudice, but you shouldn't let yourself be bogged down by their narrow minds." Kunzite eyed her critically. "To tell the truth, I think that you just need to relax."
Minako's jaw dropped. "YOU'RE telling ME to relax? Who are you? What have you done with the real Kunzite?!?" cried Minako, genuinely concerned about Kunzite's sudden change in personality.
If Minako hadn't known Kunzite better, she would have sworn that a corner of Kunzite's mouth quirked upward in the hint of a smile. "Come on. I know where we can both go to escape for a while."
With that, Kunzite gently pulled Minako's arm towards the teleport station, and in a flash they teleported down to earth.
**********************************************************************
Minako stepped lightly, eyes wide at the beauty spread before her. A wide, open meadow full of golden flowers stretched for as far as she could see. Fields upon fields of gently waving golden flowers were contrasted by the brilliantly blue sky. Everything was fresh and wild and clean and new.
Minako was rendered speechless by the sheer beauty before her. She sat down, cross legged, closed her eyes and took a deep breath, relishing the free, fresh scent of flowers all around her.
"Like it?" Kunzite sat down beside her, looking out over the meadow. Although he did not smile, (privately Minako wondered if Kunzite ever had smiled in his entire life) the stern lines around his face had smoothed away, and his face seemed to have softened somewhat. "I find that whenever I'm tired, or worried, I always find peace when I come
here."
Minako found her voice. "Kunzite, I have seen the greatest architectural wonders of the moon, the great golden arches inscribed with silver filigree, set with gemstones of the finest water. I have lived in the palace of Venus, where there are strange and wonderful rooms, filled with elaborate and elegant treasures unparalleled anywhere in the universe."
Minako looked out over the never-ending fields. "But nowhere have I ever seen anything that could compare with the beauty I see now."
Kunzite looked at her with an unreadable expression, his eyes strangely intense. "I could say exactly the same thing."
Minako felt herself blushing and glanced away; she deflected the tension by pointing and laughing, "Oh, look! A butterfly!" Indeed, a silver butterfly fluttered down towards the two of them, only to land on Kunzite's nose.
Kunzite gravely crossed his eyes to look at the insect resting on his nose. Minako dissolved into a fit of giggles at the mock-somber expression on his face. Minako looked at his handsome profile, and the silver butterfly that rested gently on his nose. As her giggles ran out though, the corner of Kunzite's mouth quirked up, and he gently
transferred the butterfly to his hand. The butterfly flapped its wings gently, and Minako's fit of giggles faded into quiet as she looked at Kunzite, who looked at the delicate silver butterfly. Just for one moment, everything was perfect. Minako knew that no matter what the future would bring, that one moment would remain forever treasured within her memory.
*If only things could always be like this.* She thought dreamily. The butterfly flapped once more, then fluttered off of Kunzite's hand, flying high into the sky.
Kunzite sighed, then leaned back on the palms of his hand.
*SPLAT!* Unexpectedly, the palm of his right hand pressed down on a mudhole, and the entire side of his body was spattered with mud.
With that, Minako dissolved into another hopeless fit of giggles, which was only made worse when Kunzite turned, quite calmly to her, politely saying, "Am I so honored to provide my lady amusement?" Minako laughed loudly, managing to stutter, "Y-y-yes!"
Kunzite bowed, which was an interesting feat considering he was sitting down with half of his previously immaculate uniform covered in mud. He began to methodically wipe mud off of his uniform when Minako, seized by inspiration, stealthily scooped up some mud and lobbed it straight at Kunzite's face. The mudball exploded, coating Kunzite entirely in mud.
Kunzite turned slowly to the now helpless with laughter Minako, and so she missed his next few words. "Beware my vengeance, lady."
Minako was still on the ground, helpless with laughter, when with a shriek she darted up and ran away from Kunzite, who had lobbed a mudball at her, missing by mere millimeters.
Kunzite chased her around the field, loaded with mud in both hands, despite the fact that both their shoes now had an inch of mud on the bottom. Finally, when Minako risked a quick look back, Kunzite tackled her with his mud-drenched hands and Minako found herself facing
the sky, her entire back and hair coated with mud.
"Ah Ha! Now I've caught you, my villainess!" Kunzite's smiling face was above her, since he had her pinned down by her shoulders in the mud. Minako's laughter faded, and she gazed up at Kunzite's face, as the same intense look she had seen earlier resurfaced in Kunzite's
silver eyes. And as she looked up into his face, she felt as if the two of them were caught in Paradise, in Eden, and that time itself had slowed down and turned to syrup to flow slowly around them.
"Minako- I think I'm falling in love with you." Kunzite's voice, usually so cultured and smooth, was now rough and hoarse with a million different emotions.
"Kunzite- I think I love you already." Minako whispered, still gazing up into his eyes.
And as Minako looked up into Kunzite's mud-covered face with his bedraggled and drenched silver mane, a brilliant, true smile broke out on his face. And Minako thought she had never seen anything more beautiful than that smile, than that face, than that man, as he drew her in for a kiss.//
Minako came out of her trance with a gasp. Her smile lit up the entire bedroom. She looked like a girl that had had all her dreams come true. "I was loved!" Minako whispered jubilantly. "There was someone who loved me! I had a soulmate! I was well and truly loved!" Minako laughed out loud, and the sound was like golden bells ringing out. Minako jumped up and spun around, hugging herself, her golden hair flying out all around her.
Artemis looked at this golden child, this golden child of happiness and love, that for so long had been denied the love that she craved. Her parents couldn't care less about this precious child, and Artemis still didn't understand why. Minako was neglected, emotionally abused, and for so long Minako had covered up all her hurt, all her needs with the perpetually sunny attitude and never-failing smile. Only Artemis saw the fits of self- pity and self doubt. Not even the other
senshi, not even Serena ever saw what Artemis did. But this, this was Minako at her truest form; Minako was the senshi of love, and now that Minako knew that she had been truly loved in the Silver Millenium, she positively glowed.
And now, now that Minako had finally found her happiness, Artemis had to shatter it.
When Minako finally calmed down, Artemis once again padded over and touched his paw to the sigil on her forehead; once again, the sigil flared with golden light, and Minako was transported back.
//If Kunzite was normally considered impassive, then right now he looked like he had been carved from granite. Minako didn't quite understand how he could manage this, considering that she felt like
her entire world was disintegrating into dust, and her heart gave a sickening thud as she thought about what had happened recently. Beryl had led a revolt and incited fury against the Lunarians, and Endymion and his generals were desparately needed back on earth. The possibility of war between the Moon and Earth was looming large on the horizon, and it seemed very likely that there would be war despite the best efforts of Serenity, the Senshi, Endymion, and the generals.
But looking at Kunzite's profile, Minako couldn't tell if the general was even breathing, much less concerned for his homeworld or- or even her, the girl he professed to love. Could it be that he *didn't* really care that much about her? She thought dismally. All the other generals and senshi had had emotional, moving farewells, and here she was, with a man who looked as if he was wearing a mask of stone.
And then Kunzite turned his incredible, rain-grey eyes to Minako, and she nearly gasped from the sheer intensity of the emotion from his eyes. There was love there, certainly, but there was also an emotion that she thought that Kunzite never would feel, not in a million years.
Fear- raw and bitter, Minako realized with a jolt that Kunzite *was* afraid. But he was afraid for her.
Kunzite crossed the distance between them in two long, quick steps, never breaking eye contact.
He gripped Minako's arm so hard that he cut off all feeling, but Minako was too mesmerized with the swirling emotions in his eyes that she didn't even notice.
"Promise me-" Kunzite demanded, without preamble. "Promise me that in the war that will come, you won't let yourself get killed. Promise me you won't die!" Minako's throat closed over with emotion, and finally she managed to squeeze out, "Not unless you do first." It came out in
a raw whisper.
"Minako-" Kunzite traced her cheekbone with his hand. "I love you- do you understand that? Never forget that I love you."
Minako framed Kunzite's face with both her hands. "And you never forget that I love you too. Despite all that has passed, despite all that will ever come, I will always love you." Minako whispered- but strangely enough, Minako felt slightly melancholy. She smiled bitterly- wasn't that the trademark of hopeless love, though? Neverending sorrow.
And then Kunzite bent down to kiss her, and all other thoughts faded from her mind.//
The memories shifted- now the present Minako saw a battlefield, littered with bodies already, and she saw her Silver Millenium self fighting desparately through a force of enemies, finally overcoming them. She saw herself race to the Moon palace's entrance grounds, the
devastated Moon Palace looming in the background.
//Minako panted as she ran to the entrance grounds as fast as she could; she already was drained and exhausted, but the knowledge that her princess, her liege *needed* her propelled Minako on through all enemies, over the corpses that littered her path.
And then Minako stopped dead, all of the blood draining from her face. She would have staggered back, the scene in front of her hit her like a punch to the stomach, but her training kicked in and Minako remained motionless, instead of collapsing on the ground.
Kunzite and his four generals were heading toward the Moon Palace, with an army of youma at their back. And the expressions of the four generals promised slaughter for the Lunarians. And the senshi.
Minako couldn't believe her eyes. Desperate, she sought out her soul-bond, her link with Kunzite. Although it was newly formed, she could still sense his emotions and such-
And what she found there was anger. Kunzite was angry and he was out for blood.
Minako stood rooted to the ground in disbelief. The pain started in her heart, and then spread like wildfire, until when it hit her brain she could only come up with one word.
Betrayal.
Minako bit back a cry of incredible anguish. Heartbreak? Ha! What a joke. Right now it felt like her heart had been smashed into a million tiny pieces. Minako would have given anything to end this agony,
this pain; numbness, coldness, anything other than this gut-wrenching feeling which took her breath away, drained her blood, left her feeling like her reality was dissolving beneath her feet, and everything she held dear was just so much water that trickled through her fingers.
Minako closed her eyes and allowed herself one brief respite; and then she gathered up her anguish, her agony, her excruciating pain, and pushed it to the back of her mind.
But when she opened her eyes again, there was nothing there. The brilliant blue eyes were empty, dull. Her soul had been broken, shattered, scattered to the wind. There was nothing left for Minako to give. Minako was a broken woman. Only her duty and loyalty to her liege even kept Minako on her feet.
Minako looked over at the army and forced herself to look at the generals leading the army, coolly assesing the force of the army and the defense that she and the other senshi would be able to put up. Four senshi. Against an army of perhaps, five thousand. Not to mention four generals-no, ex- generals.
The odds didn't look to good.
Distantly, Minako noted the way that Zoicite clung to Kunzite, and a ghost of a bitter smile touched her lips for a second. So, it seemed that Kunzite had changed his taste from women to men. And- no. Minako forced those thoughts away; they threatened to pull her down into sharp despair, and she couldn't afford it right now.
As it was, Minako grimly joined the other senshi who had also entered the palace grounds. All of the other senshi had a curiously soul-less look about them too- haunted, by the pain of the betrayal of their loves. Only Rei- Rei had a curious look about her, as if she didn't quite believe what she saw with her own eyes, and currently Rei was talking heatedly with Lita, although Minako couldn't quite make out what was being said-
And then the four generals charged the gate- and Minako knew then it was the end that they were all going to die- when a shield of blue magic sprung up around the four generals and the four senshi. It effectively cut off the eight fighters from the rest of the army of youma, since the generals had charged so far ahead that there was quite a gap between the generals and the army. Minako risked a glance over at Ami, recognizing the shield as Ami's distinct blue magic, and
realized that Ami was draining her life force to set up the shield, and Minako felt a pang for the blue-haired senshi, even though she was resigned that they were all going to die anyway-
And then there was no more time for thought, no more time for heartbreak, no more time for anything but the whirling swords that glittered in the fading blood-light. Each general paired off with his ex-love, and Minako found herself facing Kunzite's feral grin.
"Die, senshi!" Kunzite snarled, his face livid with hatred, blood-lust, and *enjoyment* of the slaughter- Minako shuddered inwardly, and then suddenly, from nowhere, anger erupted inside of her, filling her, usurping the place where her soul had formerly been. Red-hot, roiling inside of her, a red haze began to fog up Minako's vision.
"Not- Unless- You- Do- First!" Minako snarled. In some remote part of her mind, she noted the delicious irony of the earlier promise she had made Kunzite; she wouldn't die unless he died first, and now she was able to make good on that promise.
Minako began to fight with a ferocious brutality that was far removed from her normally elegant, efficient style of fighting. All that Minako cared about now was killing this bastard, this blatant mockery of her love-
And then, with final lunge, Minako thrust through Kunzite's heart. Minako stood over Kunzite, triumphant. Sneering to the very last, Kunzite, with a flick of a wrist, outward and then up, threw a small winking dagger straight toward Minako's heart.
Minako stared uncomprehendingly at the patch of red that slowly spread across her chest- this time, she couldn't stop her legs from giving out as weakness overcame her. She fell slowly to the ground, her eyes wide, but oddly empty. There was nothing left. Everything that
had been dear, that had been true, that had been real to Minako, had been taken away in that instant that she had seen Kunzite in front of that youma army.
"I hate you, Kunzite..." Minako whispered with her dying breath. But even those words were curiously hollow; there was no ring of truth to them, for Minako had nothing left to give, nothing real or true to left of herself. And with that name on her lips, Minako, Senshi of Venus, Guard of Princess Serenity, died on a field littered with corpses, beneath the shadow of the devastated Moon Palace.
And so there was nobody to notice the small stone that was attached to a chain from Kunzite's corpse. The stone began to glow, and when Minako took her last breath and closed her eyes, the stone flared up with a brilliant light that was painful to see.//
The Minako of the present began to lose her grip on the memories, but before she slipped entirely out, she saw one last thing-
//The stone flared up with a brilliant light that was painful to see. When the initial burst of light faded, something like a ghost of a man stood looking down at Venus' body, and his face was contorted with sorrow-//
And with that, the memories ended abruptly, as if sheared off with scissors.
Minako was so still that one could have mistaken her for a statue but for the storm of emotions in her blue eyes-a turmoil of confusion, desparation, love, anger, hurt, hate, but above all-
sorrow- raged on through the petite girl. Her skin was dead white, and clammy; if one had touched her, it would have been surprising how cold the girl had become. It was as if her skin had turned to ice.
And then, suddenly, so suddenly that Artemis was taken aback- Minako bolted up and out- she literally tore out of her room, nearly bowling over the dazed white cat, who having recovered his senses, shouted out after Minako- "Wait! Wait!"
But Minako ran on, heedless, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was intent on one purpose only- to get away, to leave all of her emotions behind, to run until she had escaped the millenia-old heartbreak, to get away from all the sorrow of the past which pursued her with cold fingers into the present.
And so she ran, and kept on running, a streak of golden despair that ripped past everything and anything in her path.
Minako didn't even realize that she had run out onto the streets of Tokyo, through all of the lonely, deserted streets, past the empty, dark houses, her footfalls echoing down the shadowy alleyways.
Finally- panting for breath, gasping painfully- Minako came upon the park that lay in the middle of Tokyo. She collapsed onto a bench, and huddled there as small as possible. And the tears continued to leak out-
To know that she had believed that she had been loved- she had though that she had been truly, really, loved, and that she had loved that person in return-
To know that she herself had loved that person so deeply that she had felt as if there was room for nothing else-
And then to know that all of it was *lie*-
Minako's shoulders shook with sobs.
For a long, long time, the desolate girl huddled there, alone in the world with only her heartbreak and her sorrow.
And when there was finally nothing left-
when the well had finally run dry-
Minako began to feel an emotion that perhaps, no person that so truly personified love should ever feel-
She had been duped. She had been a fool. True love was nothing but a farce, a sham, a trick for the gullible. And she had been gullible. Had she ever been gullible! That she should willingly give her heart to a man and then have it broken in front of her eyes-
The kindest word that Minako could think of for herself was fool. An utter, complete fool.
Well, never again. Never in eternity- Minako vowed to herself. I will *never* be broken that way again! She fiercely promised herself.
In that lonely, deserted park, lit by the harsh glare of lamps while the gloom gathered all around, the girl known as Venus denounced love.
And at that moment, something, some spark, deep within Minako, went out. Some vital energy that was the essence of Minako withered up and blew away as ashes.
She closed her eyes once; and when she opened them-
when she opened them, she had built walls around herself from the shards of her battered, broken heart-
and where once her world had been grounded in the foundation of pure and innocent faith in the power of love-
where once the base of her world had been all that was light and good and pure and free-
Now Minako built her fragile world on one premise:
Love was a lie.
TBC...